Believe Me
by KarinaCullen
Summary: Bella saw her first ghost at 6. Now at the age of 20, she doesn't get scared when she sees Them. One day when she enters her apartment, she sees a woman sitting on her couch. Who is this woman and why does she want Bella to help her son? All Human BxE.
1. Prologue

Prologue: Do You See What I See?

To start things off, I am not crazy. I am neither schizophrenic nor do I have the sixth sense. It's more complicated than that, actually. If you've read, _The Summoning_, you would know that the main character is a necromancer. I guess you can say that I am one too. But once again, it's more complicated than that. I'm a very complex person.

I do not practice the art of necromancy for the heck of it. In fact, I was kind of born with it. Can you imagine how scared a little girl would be if she saw a dead person who seemed normal, but when they moved she would see the death wound? It wasn't scary at all. It was full out terrifying. At first I asked why it had to be me. But the more ghosts I saw, the more I learned that I could help them pass over. Some were more difficult than others, some scarier than the rest and some were just down right insane.

I was six years old when I saw my first ghost.

*****

I was playing in the backyard with my Barbie dolls while my mother was lounging in a chair drinking an iced tea. I heard footsteps coming from the gate of the fence and looked up. Standing there was a tall boy with long, dark black hair and tanned skin. He seemed friendly and waved at me. I smiled at him.

"Bella, I'm going to go inside and make a phone call. Will you be alright for ten minutes?" My mom had asked me.

"Yes, Mommy," I replied.

She got off her chair and went inside. I heard the buttons of the phone beep as she pressed them and sighed. I brought my gaze back to the boy and waved at him. He chuckled softly and kneeled down beside me.

"Hi, my name is Jacob. I was wondering if you could help me find my dog. He ran away and I've been looking for him for hours," He said softly, though his voice was raspy.

"Okay, sure."

"Awesome. By the way, what's your name?"

"Bella," I said shyly.

"Well, Bella, I appreciate it. Now come on, I think I saw him run into that alley over there," he pointed afar. "Let's go check if he's still there."

I nodded my head and brought my Barbie doll with me. I stood up and began to walk towards the gate. Jacob opened the door for me and at that little moment, I got a glimpse of the back of his neck. I stood there, shocked.

There was a hole, surrounded by gushes of blood. The back of his shirt was stained with dry blood and rips. Through the rips I could see multiple stabs that were long and deep. I then noticed that as he was walking he was limping. His ankle was completely distorted, bending in an unnatural way. When I gasped, Jacob turned around with a worried expression.

"Bella? What's wrong?" he asked.

I couldn't answer. I was shaking and tears were streaming down my cheeks. I took a step back and clutched the doll to my chest. When he started walking towards me, I took another step back. He raised a hand to me and then I saw that his middle finger was bent completely backwards. I whimpered.

"What, what is it?"

"Stay away from me!" I yelled at him. I began breathing heavily and my vision was blurry with the tears in my eyes.

He took another step towards me and that was all it took for me to turn away. I ran towards the door and scrambled to lock it, scared Jacob might come in. I found my mother sitting on the couch and talking on the phone. When she caught sight of me, she told the person she would call them back and hung up. She set the phone down and ran towards me. She embraced me and stroked my hair. I cried on her shoulder and buried my face in her hair.

"Bella, sweetie. What's wrong?" Her voice was gentle yet concerned.

"Jacob . . . lost dog . . . blood . . . stabs . . . gunshot," I managed to say through sobs.

"Honey, who's Jacob?" Her voice was more alarmed.

"Jacob is," I brought my head back up and in the corner of the room was Jacob. He was standing crookedly and his eyes were bloodshot. I screamed. I kept on screaming and shaking. Mom brought her hands to my face and wiped my face.

"What is it?"

"He's right there!"

"Who is?"

"Jacob! He's standing right there in the corner," I pointed at the corner of the room as my mom turned. My finger was trembling.

She turned around and her eyebrows furrowed in the middle. "Bella, there's nobody there."

"Yes there is! Jacob is standing right there! Why can't you see him?"

She looked again.

"No one is there, Bella. I think I need to take you to the hospital."

She brought me in her arms and carried me into the car. She backed out of the driveway, holding my hand. Before we drove off, I saw the patio window. Jacob was looking through the curtain with that same worried expression. I turned my head quickly and took a deep breath.

When we got to the hospital, we were directed to a doctor who specialized in mental disabilities. He took tests of me and asked me many questions about what I saw. I answered his questions honestly and tried not to cry when I got into detail. After a week, Dr. Crowley concluded that I showed no signs of schizophrenia or any other diagnostic that included hallucinations. He said that I was probably only imagining that someone was there after watching or reading something scary. That was the only explanation that made sense, so my mother and I went home.

The next day I came downstairs and saw my mother placing pancakes in front of my seat. I sat down and my mother opened the newspaper. I looked at the back of it and stared at it wide eyed.

"That's him," I whispered.

Mom lowered her newspaper slowly. "What are you talking about?"

"That's him, Jacob," I pointed. She turned the newspaper over and read it out loud.

"On April 17th, fourteen year old Jacob Black was found dead in an alleyway in Phoenix, Arizona. He had six stabbings in the back, a broken ankle and finger and a gunshot wound in the back of his neck. Parents of Black said that he went out looking for their lost dog, Sam ,and did not come back. In search of their son, they found him in the alleyway . . ." She continued.

I stopped listening. Jacob had said he thought he saw his dog in the alleyway. That must have been the alleyway he died in. But I saw him on the 20th of April; he couldn't have been alive. I started breathing heavily and my fork hit the plate with a clank. Mom had stopped reading and looked down. I didn't think she realized the date of his death and the date I saw him. I didn't tell her, I was too scared.

I started seeing more after that. There was an old lady and girl around my age. Both were in the newspaper and had died different ways. By this time, Mom had started to get an epiphany. She looked at me and licked her lips.

"Bella," She whispered. "Can you see ghosts?"

"I think so," I answered, staring at the wall.

I knew they were more than just ghosts, but I couldn't say it to her. I couldn't say it to anyone.

*****

That's me, Bella Swan. I am the girl who could see dead people.

* * *

**Okay once again, this was just a prologue and that's why it's not long. When I begin writing chapter they will be much longer.**

**Tell me what you think, and if I should continue or not.**

**I know I said that I was going to finish my other fic _Just Friends?_ first, but I couldn't resist this story!**

**Review, Please**


	2. Chapter 1: The Willow Tree

Chapter 1: The Willow Tree

The sky was overcast as I was walking down the streets of New York City. I kept my pace just like the people around me were. My bag hung over my shoulder, filled with the assignments that needed to be done. I kept my eyes open, in case I might see one of Them. I didn't see any. In fact, there hadn't been any for the last month. It kind of made me feel as though I lost my power.

But I knew that I didn't lose it.

There was absolutely no escape. No matter how hard I tried to get rid of it or even simply ignore the fact, it just came back in my face. I learned that it wasn't so bad after a while. But whenever a new one came in my presence, I could always feel shivers down my spine and the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I would get goose bumps and everything would seem so dull for the slightest second. But the main notice I would get is just the fact of them being there. One of Them just standing in the same room as me would be so dominant that it was hard to miss.

No one really knew about the things I could see. My parents knew, and so did my friends Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett. They didn't treat me any differently and I sincerely appreciated that. My mother, Renee was obviously the first to know. When I stayed in Forks with my dad, Charlie for the summer, it was hard not to tell him. He was oblivious at first and that was expected. Having a daughter who could see things outside of the norm was hard to grasp.

My friends were a different story. I didn't tell them for the first few months I saw them. I wanted to have a normal life, and for once not let people think I'm crazy. I didn't expect them to be outside my bedroom door and hear me talking to Victoria, the ghost I was seeing at the time. I came out of the room and found them with anxious looks when they saw I was the only one in the room. I had to explain everything to them then, it was hard to make up a good lie on the spot. They understood, and then went back to be my friends again.

I guess I made the right relationships with the right people. I don't know if I could stay as sane as I was without my family and friends. I just know that seeing one of Them was not a picnic.

I walked into my apartment and placed my keys by the phone. I dropped my books on the table, hearing the impact make a thud. I could see some light seeping through the breaks in the curtain. I opened it, and was glad that the sky finally agreed to the sun. I sat on the couch and brought the remote into my hand. I turned on the TV and surfed channels. The thing about Friday afternoons was the fact that the worst shows were on.

Frustrated, I left the TV on with some cooking show and took out my textbooks. I tapped my pencil on the page and bit my lip as I tried to think about what to write on my paper. I couldn't think of anything. Absolutely nothing.

I jumped when the phone started to ring. I got up from my chair and strolled to answer it. I pressed the green button and brought the phone up to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bella! It's Rosalie."

"Oh, hey, Rose," I smiled.

"I just wanted to remind you about Emmett's birthday party today. You're coming right?"

"Yeah. It's at six, isn't it?"

"It's actually at five," I frowned. "I'm just kidding, Bella. You are too gullible. Yes, it's at six."

"I don't know why you always fool me like that, Rose. Both you and Emmett."

"It's because we love you and also because it's fun," She laughed. "Anyways, I have to go. See you tonight!"

"Bye," I said before hanging up.

I looked at the clock and sighed. I had two hours until the party, what was I going to do until then? I could have written my paper, but nothing came to mind once I tried to finish it. I leaned against the wall, contemplating on what which options I had. I had none. Just like I had no idea on what to write about on my English paper. Today was just not my day.

I pushed myself off the wall and made my way back to the table to put my books in my bag. I brought it to my room and threw it next to my desk. I jumped on the bed so that I was staring at the ceiling. I didn't do anything for a while, just staring at nothingness and thinking of nothingness. I looked at the clock again and groaned when I figured I had an hour and half left. I had to get ready, and I was just getting comfortable.

Today really was not my day.

I didn't know what to wear but kept in mind that it had to be nice or Alice would have my head. I searched through the clothes I had and settled for dark skinny jeans and a sleeve burgundy blouse with flirty-tiered ruffles on the bottom with a drawstring waist and front buttons. I was about to slip on my pair of black converse, but then remembered about Alice. I threw the shoes into the closet and pulled out a pair of black high heels with a peep toe and crisscrossing straps.

I left my hair down. It wasn't like it was horrible, it was actually tame today. With that, I grabbed my cell phone and headed out the door. I had at least half an hour until the party so I searched for a taxi. A whole bunch of taxis were parked along the sidewalk and it made me think that maybe my day was turning out to become better.

"Is this one full?" I asked the taxi driver.

"Nope. Get in!" He yelled. I got into the backseat and buckled myself in. "Where to?"

I gave him the address and he recognized the place immediately. The ride from my apartment to Emmett and Rosalie's house was approximately twenty minutes. I rested my head against the window and felt the side of my head cool down a bit. As we passed sightings, I noticed lots of bars had people lining up outside. There were still a lot of people walking on the sidewalks and crossing the streets. It was times like these when I was glad that New Yorkers were fast walkers. It at least calmed the traffic just a notch.

When he parked on the block of the house, I paid taxi driver the money that was charged. I thanked him and stepped out of the car. Emmett and Rosalie's house had a huge willow tree in the yard. It was beautiful, and it complimented the home nicely. I was about to ring the doorbell when I felt it.

Goosebumps started to form along my skin. I shivered and for a second, the colors of the yard and the lights coming from the house seemed so monotonous. I heard a soft whisper and light footsteps. I whipped myself around and searched for where it came from. My eyes scanned the yard in caution. I lastly looked at the large willow tree and sighed when I found that nothing was there.

But then I saw it.

Frail, pale fingers grasped around the front of the tree and a hint of a yellow dress came from the back of tree. It was like someone was peaking through the side in hopes of not getting caught. I thought it was little girl at first, but when I looked at her left hand again, I saw a golden ring. She was a woman. Her green eyes widened when she noticed me staring at her. She hid behind the tree again, and as she turned, I caught a glimpse of long bronze hair.

I took a step down from the porch to find that woman but stopped when the door opened. I looked at the doorway and gave a smile when I saw that it was Rosalie.

"Bella! Glad you could make it. Everyone is in the backyard. Come on in," She greeted.

I nodded and walked up the one step again and towards the door. Before I stepped inside I looked back at the willow tree in search of the woman. She wasn't there any more. I shrugged and closed the door behind me. Rose led me to the back door. I stepped into the backyard and was amazed with how beautifully decorated it was.

There were different colored lanterns hanging from the fences and little lights surrounding the tops of the trees. There were tables organized in the right places and a fountain in the center of the yard. The garden was planted with beautiful flowers and the grass was amazingly green. I walked over to the table where the refreshments were and got a glass of punch.

I felt a light tap on my arm and I looked over my shoulder. Alice and Jasper were standing behind me and smiling. I greeted each of them and asked how things were going. I hadn't seen them in two weeks, which was weird because I usually saw Alice everyday. But because of her and Jasper's trip to Europe, it kind of changed our schedule.

"So how was the trip?" I asked.

"Oh, Bella, it was absolutely amazing. Everything there was extraordinary. And the shopping there was phenomenal," She added with a laugh.

I chuckled and gave her a hug. Jasper let us talk and went to greet the birthday boy. Which I probably should have done first, but the backyard and such distracted me.

"So how about you, Bella. How are things? I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."

"Things are okay. My assignments are brutal and what not. I guess things stayed the same while you were away," I replied.

"Well, as long as you're fine that's all that matters. Speaking of which have you seen any of Them since the last time I saw you?" She whispered.

"No," I shook my head. But then remembered about the woman. "Well, actually, there was this woman and she –"

I was cut off when Emmett approached us. A smile was graced on his face as he wrapped his arm around Rosalie. He was so huge; it amazed me that he was only a year older than me. I hugged him and placed the present in his hands.

"Happy Birthday, Em! How does it feel to be twenty-three years-old?" I questioned.

"I feel the same. There aren't any wrinkles or gray hairs yet so it's all good," He said. "Oh, I want to introduce someone to you guys."

Emmett walked away for a bit, leaving us confused. He came back with possibly the most gorgeous man I'd ever seen. He was tall and slender, but still muscular. He had a strong jaw line and high cheekbones. I then noticed that his eyes were a brilliant green and his messy hair was an unusual copper color.

The same color hair and eyes as the woman.

"This is Edward. He's my adopted brother and just moved from Chicago. Carlisle and Esme are still down there, but Edward decided to come here," Emmett explained.

"Hello," He nodded towards us. He had a very soft voice, intriguing almost.

Everyone but me introduced themselves. I felt like he wouldn't care about knowing me, so I just nodded my head at him. We all talked for a bit and then Emmett and Rosalie had to leave and entertain the rest of the guests. Edward then left, saying that he was going to get a drink. Alice, Jasper and I were still talking. They told me about their trip and all of the famous sights that they saw. Alice claimed that she has enough photos to fill ten albums; the sad part was that I wasn't surprised.

I talked to the other guests at the party too. I had a conversation with Angela Webber, who was in my English class, and her boyfriend, Ben. I liked Angela; she was over the top kind and didn't pry when you didn't want to talk. Ben was the total opposite – though he was kind, he was loud and always wanted to know what was going on. He was a good guy, just way different from Angela's character.

I looked away for a bit to see Edward sitting on the bench by the fountain. His arm was rested on the top of the bench and his legs were crossed. He was looking up and tapping his fingers. I told Angela and Ben that I would be right back and walked towards the fountain. He was still looking up, but now he was whistling. He didn't see me approach him, so I sat down.

"The stars are beautiful, aren't they?" I asked him.

"Yes, they are. I thought you could never see the stars in New York," He sighed.

"Not in the city. This community is one of the places you could actually see them. I think this why Emmett and Rosalie chose to live here – Rose is a fan of night stars."

He chuckled and looked at me. I noticed that he had a crooked smile, but it was still beautiful.

"So, why did you move to NYC?"

"I needed a different change in scenery," He said, looking at the stars again. "Also because Emmett wouldn't shut up until I moved here."

"Yeah, Em said you guys are really close. Just out of curiosity, how long have you lived with Carlisle's family?"

"Since I was twelve. Emmett and I were adopted at the same time, so I knew him at the orphanage too. We were roommates so it was ironic that we were adopted into the same family." Edward smiles as if he's happy about the memory.

"So you were in the orphanage since you were a baby or . . ."

"No, I was welcomed when I was eleven. I'm sure Emmett told you that he was there since he was a baby," I nodded. "I never expected to be put in there. My father had died in a car accident when I was ten. My mother was absolutely devastated and I didn't know what to do. A year later, I came home from school to find that she hung herself."

His eyes were suddenly sad.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry like that," I apologized, suddenly feeling guilty.

"Don't be. I've learned to live life. No matter what I could have done."

I didn't add onto anything after that. I didn't want to make him sad, he just moved here and being away from his hometown must already be so hard. Instead, I took his hand and squeezed it. For a few moments we sat there and held hands. I didn't think anything of it, and I'm sure he felt the same. But something about him made me feel more normal than I ever had before.

Edward then looked at his watch and groaned. He let go of my hand as he stood up. He straightened his pants and then stood straight.

"I've got to go, it's getting pretty late. I don't think I caught your name earlier."

"Bella," I answered.

"It was nice meeting you Bella. See you around," He smiled.

"With both of us knowing Emmett, I'm sure we'll see each other again."

He chuckled. "True." With that, he turned around and walked out of the party.

Everyone started to leave then. I helped clean the yard with Alice and Jasper as Rose and Emmett took down the lanterns and lights. It took a while to get everything cleaned up, but eventually we finished. We all went back into the house and sat in the living room.

"Bella," Alice said. I looked up. "You were telling me you saw one of Them. You never got to finish the story though."

"Wait, you saw one? Hasn't it been a month?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah, I saw one of Them. It was in your front yard, actually," I whispered.

I felt all eyes on me and from the corner of my eye I saw Rosalie eyeing the front yard through the window. It almost made me laugh, but I didn't. I shrugged my shoulders and slouched into the chair.

"What did this one look like?" Rosalie questioned.

"I didn't get a full glance of her. She was hiding behind your willow tree, peering from the side. From what I saw she had green eyes and long, bronze hair. She looked about average height and had a yellow dress on. Her skin was pale. Also, she was married."

"She was hiding behind a tree? Don't they usually just approach you?"

"That's the weird thing. She was whispering something and when she caught me looking at her, it was almost like she was shocked. I didn't see her after that; I don't know if I ever will. She looked frightened.

It's just that I've never encountered one of Them like that. They usually go right up to me and ask for help. This one seems different, more sincere. It's a vibe I'm getting. I sometimes get these feelings of what kind of thing they want. But most of them are rueful and full of hate. This one was loving and had a sense of nurture."

"Strange," Jasper said.

"I know," I sighed. "I better get home. I'll let you know if I see anything else. Goodnight guys."

"Bye, Bella," They all said in unison.

I walked out the door and put my hands in my pocket. I looked at the willow tree hoping to see the woman again. I was disappointed when she wasn't there and walked down the porch steps. Everything seemed normal, and I knew she wasn't anywhere near here.

*****

I woke up to the most uncomfortable position possible. When I got out of bed, my legs and arms were sore. I stretched them a bit before taking a shower. The water was warm, and it sent soothing vibes throughout my body. I had no class today, so I took my time and chose a simple outfit – skinny jeans and a t-shirt. I made breakfast and brushed my teeth, still a little sleepy. My life was pretty much uneventful on Saturday mornings.

I decided to work on my paper again. I pulled out my books from my backpack and set them on the table. A small piece of paper fell to the ground. It was a ripped piece from a stationary and the designs were fading a little. I picked it up and opened it, expecting someone accidentally put this in my bag and thought it was someone else's.

My eyes widened. The printing was strange. It looked like the person was shaking when they wrote this, but pressed really hard. It was written in black ink and the pressure of the writing was so hard that I could feel it from the back of the paper. The writing wasn't what shocked me, though it sure as hell was part of it. It was the message it was containing.

_Please._

Please what? I stared at the message a little longer before folding it again. I didn't know whether it was a joke or not, and I didn't feel anything peculiar about it. I went back into my room and opened the drawer where old photos were kept. I dropped the note in there before closing it and stepping out of the room. Deciding I needed some fresh air, I grabbed my coat and left my apartment.

The sky was overcast again, and I couldn't help but feel a pang of déjà vu. Except this time, unlike yesterday, I saw one of Them and a note ended up in my textbook. Cars were constantly honking and it was getting irritating. I kept my eyes on my feet to make sure I wouldn't fall in front of the many people on the same block as me. I suddenly smelled coffee and looked up.

I smirked when I saw that it was Starbucks. I stepped inside and let the warmth surround me. I got in line, which would take forever because of all the people. I was the last in line and as I waited, I noticed no one stood behind me. Figures that I would literally be the last in line. Finally when it was my turn to order, I was met with green eyes.

"Hey, Bella," he greeted.

"Edward?" He nodded. "You work here?"

"Yeah, I started working yesterday. Anyways, what can I get for you?"

"A tall caramel macchiato and a cinnamon roll," I answered.

"Okay, your order should be ready soon," Edward smiled.

I nodded my head and paid before I waited at the counter. When the girl handed me a cinnamon roll and the drink, I took it and sat down at one of the chairs. I took one of the magazines sitting on the table and began reading it. I wasn't really into fashion magazines, but it was better than nothing. I then felt someone sit across from me so I looked up.

Edward was smiling at me and he had his Starbucks apron off. I closed the magazine and set it back on the table before taking another sip of my caramel macchiato.

"I'm guessing you're off work," I said.

"Pretty much, yeah. I've been working since seven."

"That sucks. So, what's up?"

"Nothing really," he said. "Look, Bella, you are the only person who knows about my life before the orphanage besides my adopted family. It's kind of weird because I don't usually tell people, but I just needed to talk about it."

"You can trust me."

"I know. That's why I told you. You seemed like someone who can be trusted," He declared.

I blushed when I heard him laugh softly. We talked a little more. Edward was easy to talk to, and I found there was something that was bugging him and that only intrigued me into wanting to know more of him. Another part of me was telling me that he was somehow connected to that woman by the willow tree. They both had the same color hair and eyes. I tried convincing myself that a lot of people had qualities like that, but the odds of both of them having the same unusual bronze tinted hair and striking green eyes wasn't high.

"I better go, Emmett wants me to help him clean their garage," He sighed.

"He'll need your help, it's a disaster."

"Great. Because I've always wanted to clean a garage after work," He said sarcastically. "But it was nice talking to you."

"Likewise," I nodded.

For a moment, when he brought his gaze to me, his eyes connected with mine. I couldn't look away. I cleared my throat and forced myself to look down.

"Um, you better go help Emmett before he gets impatient."

"Yeah. Um, bye."

"Bye," I said awkwardly.

I watched him as he walked out the door. He smiled at me once through the window as he walked away. I stared dumbfounded and then shook my head. I got up from the chair and held my drink. I took one more sip and then noticed something was on the magazine I was reading previously.

I raised my eyebrow as I picked it up. It was a ripped piece of paper that was fancied the same as the note from earlier. I opened it, not really thinking about what would be inside. I thought that maybe I must not have put it in the drawer, and put something else in. But when I opened it, I took a sharp intake of breath.

I put my coat back on and threw my drink in the trash. When I stepped out of Starbucks, the wind licked at my skin. I started walking towards my apartment, clutching the note in my hand.

* * *

**Success!!!! I was planning on posting the first chapter next week, but I didn't like just having a prologue posted for this story. So I got off my ass and started typing. I really hope you like it because I thought I did a pretty good job for it being the first chapter.**

**Hopefully I can get chapters out quickly again, but I don't know because I have my PAT's (Provincial Achievement Test) on the 13 of May, 17th, 19th, 23rd and 24th of June. I also have my dance recital on June 12th and 13th. But hopefully I can squeeze in some time : )**

**But please REVIEW!!!**


	3. Chapter 2: Empty Room

Chapter 2: Empty Room

_Help._

That's what the note said. I threw the crumpled piece of paper in the drawer, landing beside the other note. I fell to my knees as I closed the drawer and was now at eye level with it. I didn't know whether to be scared or worried. I never had this sort of connection before, and I wondered if it was some kind of warning.

I considered if it was some kind of joke. But the only person that was with me before a note showed up was Edward, and he was only there once. The first note appeared in my textbook, and Edward didn't even know where I lived. Though the most logical reason for the notes was a prank, it was only logical in a normal life. And my life was far from normal.

I thought back to my conversation with Edward. He was nice guy, but I could sense the hurt under the surface. I wanted him to open up to me, and I had no idea why. I couldn't deny that he was unbelievably good-looking. I also couldn't deny that he was true gentleman. But I just met him; I needed to know him more.

Just then, everything seemed cold. I looked around the room, seeing nothing. I walked out, and stalked every room and hallway in the apartment. Everything was the same, but why was it so cold? I knew it wasn't the heater; there was someone in here. I just wanted to yell for it to come out and stop hiding. I walked around again and saw nothing. What the hell was going on with this one?

I decided to ignore it and wait for it to go away. I turned around and stopped mid-step when I saw something in the hallway. Not in the hallway, technically, it was walking into a room. My room. I didn't see the whole figure, just the backside. She was wearing a pale yellow dress, and shoes to match. The last thing I saw before she was fully in the room was the hair – the long bronze hair.

I ran down the hallway and walked in my room. I scrutinized the room, looking from wall to wall. No one was there. I felt someone touch my neck, and breath as cold as ice brush my skin. I spun around and again saw nothing. Everything was back to room temperature and I knew she was gone. I sat on the bed and ran a hand through my hair. I rubbed my arms and then leaned my elbows on my knees.

It was the same woman; I would know her appearance anywhere. What the hell did she want? It was like she wanted to tell me something, but was too scared to say it. If that was the case, then she had better just leave me alone.

I ran my hand down my face and cupped my chin. I grabbed my cell phone and dialed a number I knew too well. My fingers were shaking and it felt like I couldn't press the numbers fast enough. The phone kept on ringing and I anxiously waited for someone to pick up. I was about to hang up and try again later when the ringing stopped abruptly.

"Hello?"

"Alice," I breathed.

"Hey, Bella. What's up? You sound flustered."

"Is Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper with you?"

"Jazz is here, Rose and Em are on their way. I was just going to call you and ask if you want to go out to dinner."

"Um, I guess. But can you all come over to my apartment first? I need to tell you something."

"Okay," She answered warily, "What's this about though?"

"Just come, please," I begged.

I heard the door open from the other line and a loud laugh. I guessed that Em and Rose were already there. I heard Alice _shh_ them and cupped the speaker. She was saying something, but it was too muffled to understand. I then heard a different voice in the background, one that wasn't as familiar, but still recognizable. It was suddenly quiet and I wondered if Alice hung up on me.

"Alright, everyone is here. We'll be over in like ten minutes. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, that would be great."

"See you in a few then."

"Yeah."

I hung up the phone and set it on the bed, beside me. I stared at the wall for a while, not really knowing how long specifically. I fidgeted with my hands and rubbed my arms occasionally. I decided to go to the washroom quickly and stood from the bed. I washed my face with cold water and then gripped the edge of sink with both of my hands, hunching over. I licked my lips and then walked back to retrieve my cell phone.

I crossed my arms over my chest as I walked down the hallway. It was still light, so I looked down incase I saw a shadow that didn't belong to me. I saw nothing as I walked to the bedroom and relaxed may arms. I bent down and grabbed the device and turned around. I stopped mid-step, and turned back around to look at my pillow.

I narrowed my eyes when I saw something small on my pillow. I took slow steps towards it. It was another piece of paper, and this time I knew that it was new one. Though the side that was showing was completely blank. I took it in my hands and looked on both sides – there was nothing. I shrugged and opened the drawer again.

The piece of paper floated to the bottom of the drawer and I now saw something black on it. The side facing up at me now had writing on it. I read it over and over again to make sure I had it right. The note this time was so weird, and not as pleading as the others. I read it once more before saying it out loud.

"My son," I whispered.

There was suddenly knocking on the door. I jumped and closed the drawer swiftly. I got up from my knees and made my way to the front door. I ran a hand through my hair as I walked down the hall. When I opened the door, I smiled when I saw the gang standing in front of me. I gave them each hug. What I didn't expect was for Edward Cullen to be at my door as well. I didn't want to be rude so I hugged him, too, a surge of electricity flowing through me.

"I didn't know you were coming, Edward," I said.

"Alice invited me. She said that you needed some happiness in this apartment of yours. So I figured what the heck? I hope that's alright," Edward replied. His voice a little wary.

"Of course it's alright."

"Great," He was about to step in when he turned to face me again. "I forgot my cell phone in my car. I'll be right back."

I nodded my head as he wet down the hallway to the elevator. When I walked back in, everyone is sitting in the living room. Once I sat down, they bombarded me with questions from left to right. I told them about the notes and how the same ghost from Emmett's birthday was somehow related to it.

They asked what the notes said. I explained to them how they appeared, and the weirdness of it all. It was like the ghost was trying to scare me, and it was working. This one was just so different. I just didn't understand what it wanted.

"You didn't answer our question," Jasper said. "What did the notes say?"

"They said, and I quote, please help my son." My eyes then widened.

How could I have been so stupid? The ghost didn't want several things, it only want one thing. I replayed what the notes said in my head over and over. It finally made sense.

"Please. Help. My son," I whispered. "The ghost wants me to help her son."

I felt a gust of cold air hit my skin. I looked frantically around the room. The temperature didn't affect Alice, Rose, Emmett and Jasper; they didn't know it was happening. They looked at me with worried expressions as I stared straight ahead. I finally got a glimpse of what she looked like. What the ghost looked like.

She was beautiful, in a twisted kind of way.

She was so pale, her copper hair and green eyes standing out so much. Her yellow dress was beautiful on her, flowing just below her knees.

"What do you want?" I asked her.

She didn't answer.

"You want me to help your son?"

She nodded.

"Then tell me who your son is," I demanded.

She opened her mouth to speak but then shut it quickly. In an instant she was gone, the temperature back to normal. Then door then opened. Edward stepped in with a small smile on his face. When he saw us he looked confused. When he saw me, he looked worried. I didn't know if I looked frightful or something, I just knew I was awestruck.

"How about we order pizza instead?" Alice asked. "I don't really want to go out anymore."

We all nodded and she went to the kitchen to order the pizza. I followed her suit and went to the kitchen as well. She was just dialing the number when I came into the room.

"Thanks, Al."

"Anytime, Bells. But what happened back there?" She asked, her voice frantic.

"I don't really know myself."

*****

It had been a week since the pizza party at my apartment. It had also been a week since I finally saw the ghost. It was strange. I didn't know what to do, so I didn't acknowledge it. My mind told me that I had to find a way to contact her again, but my actually doing it wasn't happening. I was going to wait for her to come to me. If she wanted my help, then she'd have to come and get it.

I'd seen Edward every time I went to Starbucks. I enjoyed his company, craved for it, actually. We had grown to become friends and somewhere deep inside me I felt something. I tried to ignore it, but it grew more dominant each time I saw him. I didn't even know what the hell that something was; I just knew I was feeling it. However, today he wasn't working. He'd told me that the day before that he would be running a few errands. But still I'd hoped that he'd make it for work, and when I came in, he wasn't at the cashier desk taking orders.

I drank the rest of my latte and threw the cup in the garbage. I'd gone to Starbucks later in the day; I just needed to get out of the house. By the time I stepped out into the streets, little twinkly lights were on the trees and were already on. As I walked past the restaurants and boutiques I noticed that everyone was smiling. Laughing. Joking. Not alone. They were all with friends or family or their lover. My friends were all busy. Edward, like I said, was running errands. Emmett and Rosalie were on a date and Alice was sick; Jasper was taking care of her.

I dug my hands into my coat pocket, the autumn wind pressing against my skin. I tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear and looked down at my feet. Deciding that I was in no rush, I went into the big dance studio that was a block or two from my apartment. Ironic, that I would go into a dance studio, seeing as how my dancing skills were microscopically slim. But I had found out that there was a door at the back of the studio, which led to a room. There was nothing in the room, just the bare cement walls. I went there to take my mind off of things.

My hand clutched onto the doorknob and I opened it swiftly. I stepped into the dimly lit hallway as the door began to close slowly. My hands were still in my pockets as I walked. It was a rather vast hallway, but I didn't mind. I heard something the closer I got to the other end of the hallway. It was music; that much I knew.

The music was haunting. Mysterious. Beautiful. I walked faster towards the door. Once I was right in front of the closed room, I stood and just listened. I closed my eyes as the music played. It was somehow calming, and I smiled. All too soon, the music stopped. There was nothing. I wanted to hear more, so I opened the door slowly.

The door creaked and squealed. When I stepped in I not only saw an empty room, but a grand piano. And not only was there a grand piano, but a man sitting on the bench. A bronze haired man.

"Edward?" I squeaked, afraid that it wasn't him.

He looked up. I couldn't miss those green eyes. Edward looked surprised to see me, but smiled softly.

"Hey," He answered. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

He shook his head. "I asked you first."

I rolled my eyes at his remark. "I sometimes come here to think. But usually it's just an empty room. By the way, how in the world did you get a piano in here?"

Edward chuckled. "It wasn't easy, let's just leave it at that. The owner of the studio allowed me to bring it in here as long as I made sure everything was locked up before I left. If I did that, I could play here whenever I want. I don't get something though."

"Get what?" I asked.

"Why you come here to think."

"Oh," I mumbled. "Well the empty room was kind of like a way to clear my thoughts. You know empty room, empty mind. I know it sounds weird, but it actually works."

"No, it makes sense. I'm sorry I ruined your thinking place," He apologized.

I suddenly felt guilty for making him feel bad. "Don't worry about it. I found your music beautiful."

I blushed.

Edward smiled one of those crooked smiles of his. He scooted on his bench and patted a spot beside him. I shrugged and sat on the bench with no hesitation. He started playing a medley of notes, his fingers gliding along the keys like magic. I stared at his hands in amazement, but listened to the music carefully. It was more peaceful than the other song he was playing earlier.

I could tell by the way the music climaxed to the end that it was a sad song. As Edward was playing, his face held pain and the corners of his mouth tugged into a frown. I suddenly felt his pain, and more than ever wanted to make him smile again. I wanted to help him, I just didn't know how. All I could do was put my hand on his shoulder when the piece was finished. It was silent, his heavy breathing being the only sound in the room.

"I'm sorry," He finally said. He ran his hand down his face and sighed. "That was for my mother, my biological mother. That always happens when I play that piece. Writing it was harder, but I surpassed it."

I only nodded, not really knowing what other gesture to do. I glanced down at my watch and groaned. "I better get going, I have a class at nine in the morning."

"I should head out, too. I have this paper due in two days and I haven't even started," He stated. He shook his head and laughed softly.

We both got up from the bench, Edward making sure he left his piano in good condition. He covered it with a silk yellow blanket and then walked out of the room with me. I crossed my hands over my chest as he checked that everything in the dance studio was in tact, locking the doors. I stood awkwardly behind beside him as we stood in front of the studio.

"Look," He breathed. "I'm sorry I invaded your space and all. If you want, I could move to a different place and play there."

I shook my head at him. "N-no, it's fine," I stuttered. "The piano actually gave me a peace in mind. So, thank you."

"Well, I better go. Um, bye," He said awkwardly.

I nodded my head once as he walked the other direction. I watched him until he turned the corner. I turned on my heel and began to walk down the block.

*****

"I have this whole new idea for the dress I'm making!" Alice exclaimed. "It will have this pretty floral print and an empire waist. Then it will follow along with a full skirt."

"Sounds like fun. In my class, the most exciting thing I get to do is read pages 182 – 199," I replied.

"I still don't get how you could want to be in English Lit. It's so boring! Besides, I need someone to model the dress for me."

"Aren't I always the model?"

"Yes. It's because you are so god damn gorgeous," I snorted. "Shut up, Bella. You're just too in denial to realize how lovely you are. Anyways, will you be my model once the dress is finished?" She wondered.

"Okay, fine," I sighed.

Alice squealed and gave me a hug. Her tiny frame was strong enough to squish me, but that was Alice. We got inside her Porsche and drove off. Her music was turned up to a loud volume, but she didn't seem to notice. My sensitive ears were practically crying in pain. Alice got me to my apartment in no time; her driving was too fast for me to contain.

"The fitting for the dress should be around Wednesday of next week, but I'll call you just in case it changes," She said as I got out of the car.

"You're going to call me anyways, Al."

"True." I laughed and closed the door.

Alice sped off, her loud music slinging along. I clutched my books to my chest and slung my purse over my shoulder. The song that was playing in Alice's car was stuck in my head. I found myself humming the beat quietly as I took the elevator to the fifth floor. My foot tapped to the rhythm and I reminded myself to download the song onto my iPod later.

_Ding!_

I stepped out of the elevator and veered to my right. The key fumbled on my fingertips as I approached the door. It slung out of my hands and fell to the ground. I groaned as I picked it off the floor. Sticking the key in the lock, I opened the door and set my bag on the table.

"You know I never wanna to hurt you, don't even know what we're fighting for. Why does love always feel like a battlefield?" I sang quietly to myself. Figuring that no one would hear me anyways.

"Story of my life," A soft voice said. "Love _is_ quite the battlefield. You have a nice voice by the way."

I turned slowly, my eyes wide. I didn't know whether to think someone broke into my apartment or if I was just imagining things. But then I felt the difference in the room, knowing I hadn't noticed it when I first stepped in. I gulped and crossed my arms over my chest. So the mysterious ghost finally returned.

She looked the same as when I last saw her. Her faint yellow dress didn't have a difference and her hair still flowed down her back. Her green eyes looked at me with contentment while she held her almost white hands in front of her. Her wedding ring was also sitting on her ring finger, sparkling in the light. What I didn't notice before was what was on her neck.

Not on, but _marked_. It was a bruised line that circled her entire neck. It was thick and so sickening I wanted to hand her a turtleneck. Realizing why she looked so familiar made me gasp. I finally found the last piece of the puzzle.

"_So you were in the orphanage since you were a baby or . . ."_

"_No, I was welcomed when I was eleven. I'm sure Emmett told you that he was there since he was a baby. I never expected to be put in there. My father had died in a car accident when I was ten. My mother was absolutely devastated and I didn't know what to do. A year later, I came home from school to find that she hung herself."_

Hung herself.

"Oh my God," I whispered.

* * *

**Sorry for such a late update, hopefully you guys are still with me. I know it's been a little over a month since I last updated, but I do have an excuse! I've just been super busy preparing for PAT's, (and for those of you who wished me luck on my social PAT two days ago by reviewing Just Friends? I want to say thank you because I got 64% That's a good thing because that test was just too hard. Like seriously, how the hell do you write on essay on "to what extent is the youth criminal justice act fair & equitable?" Too hard!!!!!) I had my dance recitals (yes, recitals. Three, to be exact) and have been cleaning my room. My room was a disaster, it took three days to clean. I can finally see the ground again!**

**The song Bella is singing is: Battlefield - Jordin Sparks. Check it out! It's an amazing song ; P**

**Now, please review!**


	4. Chapter 3: Drunk Kisses

Chapter 3: Drunk Kisses

I had to sit down; this was just too much. She was still sitting on the couch by the window, the light making her look paler than she was. Cautiously I sat down opposite of her. She watched me with a kind face, but I didn't want to be a fool and fall for that until I knew her intentions. Her hands were folded on her lap and she sat upright. Silence filled the air and to be honest I was kind of freaked out about her. Just her presence alone was so depressing. I could literally feel the pain radiating from her. It came to the point where I had to look at the floor instead of at her, but I could still feel her staring at me.

_Just get it over with._

I sighed and looked up at her again. She had a pleasant smile on her face. "What is it that you want me to do again?"

"It is more of a need than a want, Isabella."

"Bella. Please don't use my whole name, it makes me sound old."

She chuckled. "All right, Bella," She corrected.

"Anyways," I clapped my hands together. "Let's get back to what you "needed." Starting with your name."

She nodded at me. "My name is Elizabeth Masen and I died ten years ago. My son has been miserable ever since, thinking that my death was his fault. I can't move on until he is happy."

"You mean Edward?" I asked.

"So you're smart, too," She said. "You're a very special girl, Bella. That's why you can help him."

"How?"

"I've watched him over the last week, and seen such an improvement on his emotional state."

"Only in a week? That's fantastic."

"It is," She agreed. "But there's a reason why he's getting a little happier every single day."

I quirked an eyebrow. "And what's that?"

"You see, Bella, in this last week, you and Edward have grown rather fond of each other. I believe that you can help him be the person I know he is."

I shook my head incredulously. "No way. I've only met him a couple of times –"

"And in those moments he seems more delighted," She said, cutting me off. "Please, Bella, you have to help him. My presence here isn't helping, because I know he could still feel me here. In order for him to move on, I must fulfill my task. You're the only one who can help him. You've already been such a wonderful friend to him."

Elizabeth's eyes begged for me to help as the tears began to form. My heart started to ache and I pursed my lips. "Okay. I'll do what I can," I sighed.

She smiled and walked towards me. Elizabeth put her hand on my shoulder. "Thank you so much." I nodded my head at her and watched as she began to disappear.

And then she was gone.

I stared at the wall, where she was standing. It was bizarre, seeing as all of the ones before her asked me to help them. Granted, she wanted me to help her son and that was the motherly thing to do, but still. Elizabeth seemed selfless after finally being able to communicate to her face to face. But one thing still bothered me. I still didn't know why she would hang herself. In the living room of all places. Of course Edward would be traumatized. Shaking my head, I got myself off the couch suddenly feeling tired.

As I got myself ready for a quick nap I wondered how Edward handled himself without his mother. How he acted towards other people. Though all of these thoughts began to drain out of my mind as my eyes started to close and the darkness overtook me.

*****

Where was I?

I was standing in a bright yellow room with a wide window two closets and two beds. One side of the room was a disaster – filled with scattered clothes on the bed and candy wrappers and car magazines. The bed wasn't even made and there were posters on the wall. The other side was quite empty, to be frank. The walls were bare and the bed looked as if it wasn't even touched. I walked over and ran my hand on the cool, dark wood that was the dresser. The mirror on the dresser was large and surrounded by intricate carvings of wood. Accidentally, I looked at the mirror, and absolutely regretted it because I knew what I would see. A girl with bed head and dark circles under her eyes. But I didn't see anything.

My reflection wasn't in the mirror.

Fear trembled through my body as I was trying to figure out what the hell was going on. I went over everything logical and checked that I wasn't some sort of mutant. Once I did that, I was left with no explanation. Just the fact that I couldn't see myself in the mirror. I leaned my hand on the dresser and took deep breaths.

The doorknob started to rattle. I stood up straight and looked for a place to hide. But epically failed when the door opened sooner than I anticipated. I was opposite two people now. An old lady with one of those nurse's outfits on and her hand on the back of a little boy. The boy had sadness in his eyes and not even the slightest hint of smile crossed his mouth. His copper colored hair was in some sort of disarray and his skin was so pale. So pale, it was as if he hadn't eaten in days.

"Here's your new room," The lady said kindly. "You're roommate should be coming at this moment. Feel free start unpacking and make yourself at home."

The boy nodded and watched as the old lady closed the door behind her with a small click. I was prepared for the boy to start screaming once he saw me. What was weird was that he didn't scream. In fact he didn't even see me. He just glazed over the whole entire room, not stopping to look at me by the dresser. He just sighed and put his suitcase on the bed and zipping it open. Holy shit, he couldn't see me. No one could see me, because the old lady didn't notice me either. So I was kind of like a spirit roaming. How freaky.

I watched as the boy began unpacking. He was very swift, not stopping as he put clothes in his drawers and made sure that they were all neatly folded. It wasn't until there was a picture frame that did he stop putting his things away. He picked up the frame and touched the glass with care. Tears started to form in his eyes and fell onto the picture frame. Sobs escaped his mouth and he clutched the photo to his chest. I wanted to give this boy the biggest hug so he could stop crying, but I couldn't.

The door swung open then. The boy gasped and whipped around, still clutching the picture. Standing in the door was a taller boy with brown hair and happy, hazel eyes. His smile immediately left when he saw the other boy crying. He rushed over to him and put his hands on his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing. Leave me alone."

Just as the crying boy turned around, the other one turned him around again. "You can tell me. I won't tell a soul."

The boy sighed. "Both of my parents died. And they left me all alone. Everyone I cared for left me."

"I won't leave you. I can tell we're going to be good friends. And I don't leave my friends behind," Tall boy said.

"Promise?"

"I promise," He nodded and held out his pinky. The boy stopped crying and linked his pinky with the other boy. "My name is Emmett by the way. And I'm your roommate."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Edward."

I stood there in shock. I was witnessing the first time Emmett and Edward met. Wait that meant Edward was the one that was crying. Knowing Edward was the one whose sobs sounded so horrible made my heart ache. Watching Emmett make Edward laugh for the first time made the pain in my chest a little lighter. Then the light from the window seemed to get brighter and brighter. Emmett and Edward didn't seem to have noticed it, but the brightness burned my eyes. I closed my eyes and –

My eyes fluttered wide open and a gasp escaped my mouth. My heartbeat was going so fast I had to clutch onto my chest. I finally calmed down and thought if what I dreamed was real. If that was what really happened on Edward's first day at the orphanage. Too tired to figure it out, I sprung out of bed and called everyone up. We were going clubbing tonight.

*****

"Okay, so remind me why you want to go to a club, Bella. Clubbing isn't usually your thing," Alice said as she parked in front of the club.

"I don't know. I just had this feeling that I had to do it tonight. Like something is going to happen."

Rose brought her head in between the two front seats. "Was it one of those ghost related feelings?"

"Yeah," Alice piped in. "And what about that one that was sending you notes? Have you seen her yet?"

"Yes and yes. But I can't tell you anything about it yet, I'm not completely sure what's going on either."

"Just as long as we don't have to go the cemetery this time," Alice said. "I'm all for being there for you, Bella. But the cemetery creeps the hell out of me. Especially since it's always at night. I mean, come on! You'd think ghosts would come up with more original ideas. Like going to the cemetery in the daylight. Doesn't that sound just peachy?" I had to laugh at her rambling. It was hilarious when Alice got worked up.

For some strange reason I had this feeling in my gut that told me to go to the club tonight. I wasn't one to just let gut feelings like those to just slide on by, because I actually had a reason to believe them. Sometimes, those feelings would lead me to a cemetery and to the ghost's grave. I learned to bring Alice and Emmett with me whenever I had to go there. Once the corpse actually dug out of it's grave and talked to me. I had to have Emmett's strength and Alice's bubbly character to keep me calm with talking to a disgusting looking corpse with bugs eating at its skin. So, going to a club was considered normal.

I wasn't even planning on getting drunk tonight. Maybe a drink or two, but that was it. Elizabeth wanted me to go here tonight, and apparently she wanted all of my friends to go too. Not that I minded though, Jasper was possibly the funniest drunk alive. Most likely because no one would ever expect him to be so forward, since he's so reserved when he's sober. To follow that up, Rose was a hilarious drunk as well. It was only funnier when Emmett tried to calm her down. Oh man, good times.

Loud music was blaring from outside the club. The concrete was practically vibrating from the sound. We stepped in and starting looked for the others.

"There they are," Rosalie wavered towards them. They were sitting out our usual table.

I nodded and followed her and Alice towards the booth. We had to push against all of the crazy drunk people dancing, but we eventually made it. Alice ran to Jasper and kissed him before taking a seat beside him. Rosalie gave Emmett a long kiss and sat down, still staring in his eyes. I took my regular seat and was surprised to find that the usual seat beside me wasn't empty. Edward was smiling at me and I nodded my head at him. That made his grin even larger before he took a swig of his beer. I was going to have to get used to not being the only fifth wheel.

I noticed someone staring at me so I turned my head. Standing from the bar was a tall guy – literally, this guy was huge – with copper skin and black hair. When he caught me looking back he had the sickest grin on his face that scared the hell out of me. I looked away immediately and shivered.

"You okay?" Edward asked.

"Yeah," I said. "I'm just going to get a drink. I'll be right back." Edward nodded and I stood up from my seat.

I suddenly remembered why I hated clubbing. It was because some random guys would come and grab my ass and bring me to the dance floor. I had to physically slap their hand away and leave. God, I hated a crowd full of drunken people. When I got to the bar, I took a breath of relief and sat on one of the tall stools.

"What can I get you?" The bar tender asked me.

I shrugged. "An apple martini, if that's okay."

"Sure thing, hot stuff," He replied. I blushed but knew he probably said that to all of his customers who were part of the female population. He then came back with a glass filled with a green liquid so strong I could smell that alcohol from a distance. I smiled at him as a thank you and was about to reach for my purse to pay him when someone grabbed my hand.

"Don't worry about paying, I'll do it for you." I looked up to see it was the guy with the freakish smirk.

"No, it's fine. I can do it."

He scoffed. "I'm sure you can, but I don't want a pretty girl like you to just slide on by." I watched as he gave the bartender a bill.

"Thanks. You didn't have to do that," I said.

"No worries. By the way, I'm Jacob," He smiled, showing a more pleasant smile this time.

I took a sip of my martini. "Bella."

"So, Bella," He inquired. "What's a girl like you doing here by yourself?"

"I'm not alone. I came with someone," I corrected him, disgusted at his way to start a conversation with me. That's how you talk to someone you wanted to fuck, and I wasn't going to have sex with him.

"Oh, really. And who did you come with?" He challenged.

My mouth opened to answer him but closed shut when I felt someone's arm wrap around my waist. "Me," said his velvety voice. I looked up from my apple martini and saw Edward, who was glaring at Jacob. "Let's go, Bella." I nodded my head and walked back to the table, his arm still around me.

When we reached the booth, it was only the two of us. Alice and Jasper were grinding on the dance floor, and Rosalie and Emmett were off somewhere doing whatever the hell it was that they were doing. Neither Edward nor I talked and an awkward silence fell between us. He ran his hand nervously through his hair while I took sips of my drink.

"Edward?" He looked up from his hands to gaze at me. "I just wanted to say thanks. For, um, you know. Helping me get away from that weirdo.

He shrugged. "Don't mention it. That's what friends do, right?" I cringed at the word 'friend.' Not really sure why though, so I nodded my head at him.

The music was still fast, the beats pounding in my ears. I didn't go near the dance floor – if I began dancing all hell would break loose. So I was surprised when the music suddenly died down to a softer beat. Without all of the remixing, the song was quite beautiful. I enjoyed it much more. Edward then stood from his chair and held his hand out to me. I gave him a quizzical look.

"Do you want to dance?" He asked. I shook my head. "How come?"

"I can't dance," I replied lamely. "I'd probably cause a mass destruction just stepping onto that dance floor."

Edward smiled softly. "Then that's the risk I'm willing to take." He had this look in his eyes that I couldn't say no to. God, I was such a push over. I stood up and placed my hand in his.

"Okay, fine."

He led me to the middle of the crowd, and amazingly not a lot of people were there. They were all on the edges, probably thinking the center was crowded when it was the other way around. Edward put his hand on my hips as I slid my arms around his neck. I was cautious not to step on his toes. Before I knew it, I was swaying to the music with him.

"See," He uttered to me. "You're dancing."

"But at any pivotal moment in time I could step on your toes and you would be crying out in pain," I argued.

"I don't think so. You're so light, even in heels you wouldn't hurt me."

I blushed and leaned my head on his chest. For a moment, it seemed like the song could go on forever. Edward and I were still dancing, and I was extremely proud that I hadn't done anything to embarrass myself yet. When the song ended I felt a slight pang of sadness spread throughout my body. We parted and stood, still on the dance floor.

"That was nice," He commented.

I nodded my head. "Yes, it was." Out of the corner of my eye, I Elizabeth sitting at our table with a smile on her face. When she caught that I saw her she nodded her head towards the right and stood from the chair. She walked into the women's washroom and glanced at me once before the door shut. "I have to go to little girl's room," I said suddenly.

I heard Edward chuckle before I stalked towards the washroom. Pushing my way through numerous of hot bodies, I finally made it out of the dance floor. I passed our booth and was going straight for the door when I was suddenly pressed against the wall. I gasped from surprise and held my breath when I felt someone's hot breath on my face. It smelled like an overdose of alcohol. I realized who it was when I saw his eyes. It was that stupid smirking Jacob. Fuck.

"I can't stand it anymore, Bella. I need you. Right. Now," he said gruffly. I was about to protest when his lips crashed down on mine. It was wet and disgusting. I pushed him off me.

"Get the fuck off of me," I hissed.

"Don't be like that. I know you want it." Jacob stepped closer to me, putting his hand on my thigh. I pushed him off again.

"I said, fuck off."

I was about to make my escape when Jacob pinned my hands by my head. I couldn't even knee him in his manhood because he put his leg between mine. I squirmed in his hold, eager to make a run for it. He kept on trailing kisses on my neck. I slashed my head so that he wouldn't be able to.

"Jacob, stop!" He still kept on touching me. "I mean it. You're going too far!" Tears were starting to form in my eyes and I figured he wouldn't stop. "Get the hell off of me!" I yelled once more before his weight was suddenly gone.

I heard a thud hit the ground and I looked to see what was in front of me. Jacob was on the ground, covering his nose. I was so confused as to what happened until I saw Edward tower over him, anger glazing his eyes. "She told you, to get the _fuck_ off."

That's when it began. Jacob got up quickly and punched Edward in the jaw. I heard it crack, and I winced. Edward stumbled backwards but focused quickly. He threw a punch at Jacob, which sent him back to the floor. Edward kicked him in the rib once and the second time Jacob grabbed his foot and brought him down with him. Suddenly they were rolling on the floor and beating each other up.

"Stop it!" I pleaded. Tears streaming down my face. "You're going to kill each other!"

Neither of them listened to me. I was crying hard now, thinking that this was my entire fault. If I hadn't talked to Jacob in the first place none of this would be happening. I was such a horrible person.

"What the _hell_ is going on _here_?!" Someone hollered. I looked up from my teary eyes and saw Emmett with a concerned look on his face. When no one answered him, he split Jacob and Edward up. "Edward, chill out, man. What's going on?"

"That guy over there," he pointed at Jacob. "Was trying to rape Bella!"

Emmett's face went from worried to furious. He turned around to face Jacob. He punched him square in the face, the impact much louder than Edward's punch. "You mother fucking son of a bitch. Not only were beating up my brother, but you were also beating up my friend. Who just happens to be like a little sister to me. So you better run away before I really get pissed off." Jacob nodded and walked away, we watched as he made his way to the parking lot. I suddenly heard a pained groan. Edward was clutching onto his stomach. I ran to his side.

"You okay, man?" Emmett asked.

"I think I have a couple broken ribs," he answered.

Emmett nodded. "I need to take you to the hospital and see if you have any other injuries. Bella, do you think you can take everyone else to my place? We'll meet you there later." I nodded my head and started to look for any sign of Rosalie, Jasper or Alice.

As I scanned the room, I saw Elizabeth behind Edward with a sad look on her face. She must have had a purpose of bringing me here. I didn't get it at first before I looked at Edward and Emmett one last time.

"I thought you were going to be pissed off with me," Edward said.

"Oh I am. But I'm going to support you, even if what you do is completely retarded."

"Promise?"

Emmett nodded. "I promise. You know that."

And just like that, they linked pinkies. Just like the dream I had, when Emmett promised to be there for Edward. So what I had dreamed was actually real, and not just some subconscious feeling. I glanced back at Elizabeth who was nodding at me with a small smile. Almost like she was saying that what I was thinking was correct. The reason she wanted me to come here was to see how big Edward's relationship with Emmett was to him.

Well, I guess almost getting raped in the process of making Edward happy was all that mattered right? Fuck, I had a long way to go.

* * *

**Sorry that this was almost a month late. Honestly, I'm working on the whole updating thing. But I have three stories (Just Friends? has one more chapter) but it will soon be just two. And hopefully after that I can update more often. Awesome?? I think so : )**

**It was fun writing the dream sequence, don't know why, but it was!**

**For those of you who are wondering, the song Bella & Edward are dancing to is _Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson_.**

**Now, please REVIEW! And let me know what you liked best about this chapter!**

**There was around 15 reviews for the last one. You think we can beat that? If so, I'll update this one soon. I already know what I'm writing for the next chapter.**

**And once again, REVIEW!**


	5. Chapter 4: Knock On My Door

Chapter 4: Knock On My Door

"Okay, tell me again why Edward beat up that guy at the bar?" Alice demanded as she drove down the road in a rush to get to Emmett's house.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Again? What is this, the sixth time?" Through the rear view mirror I saw Alice narrowing her eyes at me. "Okay, okay! Well Jacob was trying to rape me, and Edward came to get him off. After that, hell broke loose." I shrugged.

Alice nodded and focused on the road again. Jasper was sitting in the front and looking out the window, failing to calm Alice. Rose sat beside me patting her knee impatiently and said, "Okay, tell us again, but with more detail."

"Are you serious? How many times do I need to –" Rose glared at me, telling me to not finish that sentence. I groaned. "Fine, in more detail, then. After slow dancing with Edward –"

"Oh my God. You slow danced with Edward?" Alice shrieked, cutting me off. "That's so cute!"

"Anyways," I said. "After that, I saw the woman again and she was sitting at our table. She headed towards the bathroom and I decided to follow her. But then Jacob pinned me to the wall and um, you know the rest."

"So have you learned anything else about this woman?" Jasper asked.

I nodded my head and shrugged nonchalantly. "Well, yeah. Her name is Elizabeth and she's Edward's mother."

"She's what?!" They all yelled. When Alice came to a sudden stop, I jerked out of my seat but was thankfully stopped by the seatbelt.

"The ghost is Edward's biological mother," I answered them slowly.

Jasper turned around. "What else do you know?"

"So far? Not that much. I just know that she wants me to make Edward happy so that she can move on."

Rosalie snorted. "That's new. I'm so used to them wanting revenge or something like that." _You and me both_, I thought. "Wait. She told you to go to the club tonight, didn't she? That was the feeling you had earlier." I nodded. "But I thought she wanted Edward to be happy? How does getting beat up make him happy?"

"It's hard to explain. So how about I tell all of you, including Emmett, when he and Edward get back from the hospital?" I suggested.

"Don't you want to tell Edward?"

"I don't think so, Rose."

"But, Bella, he has the right to know. I mean, this is his mother!"

"I know, I know," I sighed. "But he wouldn't believe me. He would think I'm crazy and any chance of actually healing him will be thrown out the window. I'll tell him when it's time." I ran a hand through my hair nervously and bit my lip.

"So tell us," Alice said. "Was the dance with Edward nice?"

I smiled. "Yeah. It was really nice."

*****

Rosalie offered us wine once we were in the living room. I politely declined, having too many things on my mind. Alice gladly accepted and Jasper stated that he was going to be the designated driver now. We waited on the sofa for Emmett and Edward to come back. And to be honest, I was getting anxious. It was my fault that Edward got beaten up in the first place. If I hadn't talked to Jacob in the first place, all would be good. But if I didn't, I wouldn't have seen Edward and Emmett's promise. So either way, it all worked out. I just wasn't happy that Edward was the one who was hurt and that guilt practically showered over me.

An hour and a half later, Emmett came through the door. Edward wasn't with him, and I was suddenly worried if he slipped into a coma or broken all of his bones or –

"So what's the damage?" Jasper asked.

Emmett sighed and sat beside Rosalie. "Two broken ribs, a broken arm and a mild concussion. I dropped him off at his apartment because I thought he needed rest. He should be okay, I just feel really bad. I should have been there earlier to prevent this from happening." He shook his head and put his face in his hands.

I immediately got off the couch and stood in front of Emmett. "No, Em, it's my fault. If I hadn't provoked that ass wipe, Edward wouldn't have been hurt. And if I didn't follow his mother to the washroom . . ."

"Wait, his mother?" I stared at him blankly. "What are you talking about?"

"I already told those three about it in the car. I guess it's your turn to join or little club, huh, Em?"

"Damn straight, Bells."

I told Emmett about what happened earlier today, and how I found out the woman was Edward's biological mother. I continued from what she needed to what happened in my dream. When I was about to tell him about the club, Alice kicked in. At this point I was glad that Alice asked me what happened six times, it was easier to explain. But after she talked about the fight, I told him that I saw him and Edward do a pinky swear and the brotherhood they had, just like in my dream.

Emmett stared at me with wide eyes, his mouth was pursed into a straight line and he was very still. I didn't say anything; I didn't know what to say. I bit my bottom lip in response and listened as the room went quiet.

"Whoa," Emmett suddenly said.

"Whoa? Is that all you can say?" Alice exclaimed. "What about holy shit! Or, are you serious? This situation definitely deserves more than just 'whoa'."

Emmett shrugged. "Okay, then. Holy shit! Are you serious?" He yelled sarcastically. "How was that, Alice?"

"You are such a smart ass," she mumbled.

"I do what I can."

I ran a hand through my hair. "So is everything okay? I mean you're not going to tell Edward, right?" They all nodded. "Okay then. I better get going. Thanks for coming out with me tonight." I stood from the couch and reached to grab my coat. As I walked towards the front door, I heard numerous 'Bye, Bella's' and one 'Bye, Belly Bean'. I chuckled and stepped out of the house, the wind whistling a cool tone.

*****

After the most ridiculous of cab rides, I was finally at my apartment building. As I stepped out of the car, I had to take a deep breath. The car had disgustingly smelled of weed and cigarette smoke and there was no doubt that the cab driver was high. It was just my sort of luck to get the cab with a driver who was high on life and have to endure the strangest taste of music ever created. Honestly, who would play screamo in a cab? Not only was it loud, but it was also scary. I didn't want to be rude, so I gave him wary smile as I paid him for the ride. He gave me one of those sleepy smiles and I saw how yellow his teeth were. He then stepped on the brakes and the yellow car was far down the road. I wrinkled my nose in repugnance and shivered from the wind.

As I walked through the door of the building I greeted Will, the receptionist, and took the stairs since I was too impatient to wait for the elevator to arrive. It wasn't too bad, one of the perks for living on the third floor. But when I pushed the door open to the hallway, I mentally groaned for living in one of the farthest down the hall. I trudged towards my apartment, yawning and rubbing my arms in drowsiness. It felt like I walked three miles, which was weird considering I didn't have that much to drink. It was just a long day, that's all.

_Yeah, if all long days always include meeting your friend's dead mother and having a dream about his past and then being the cause for him getting injured._

I searched for the key in my purse, fumbling around in the pockets until I found a lone key on a single flower keychain. Just as I was about to stick the key in the lock, the door swung open. My eyes went wide as I saw Elizabeth standing opposite of me, she was smiling brightly and leaning against the door.

"It's about time you came home," she commented. "It's almost two in the morning!"

"Um, yeah." I nodded tiredly. I walked into the room and shut the door behind me and watched as Elizabeth sat down on the couch in the same position she was in earlier today – hands folded on her lap and sitting upright like she was expecting the Queen of England. I sat down beside her this time, not really worried about how she would react. "I thought you would be with Edward after what happened," I said guiltily.

"I _was_ with him," She sighed. "But it broke my heart seeing him all bandaged and bruised. Edward was never one for violence. You'll learn more about that later."

I raised an eyebrow. "If it makes you sad to see him hurt, how come you set me up so he would get beat up?" I saw her flinch when I mentioned the words 'beat up.'

"I understand that it was my fault that he was wounded tonight, but that was essential. You had to see how Edward and Emmett interact with each other in order to understand how to make my son happy. I knew that you would doubt that the dream was true, so I had to do something to ensure you that what you dreamt actually happened."

"So it was you who sent me that dream," She smiled softly. "That makes so much more sense. I thought I was getting visions."

Elizabeth let out a chuckle. "I'll see you around, Bella. Don't just think that after tonight, you'll be able to settle things right away. I still need to show you many things"

I nodded my head as she stood up from the couch. "Elizabeth?" I called.

She turned around to face me. "Yes?"

"What did you mean about I'll learn more later? When you mentioned that Edward wasn't a violent person."

"It means what it is. You _will_ learn more later. Not just about Edward's non-violent ways, but a plethora of things." She then walked through the wall and I was alone in my apartment.

She said I had to learn many more things. Edward can't have that many levels to him; I'll be able to make him happy again, right?

"I hope so," I whispered to myself.

*****

_Dearest Bella,_

_You haven't been answering my calls and I'm starting to get worried. If I don't get the letter back or receive a call soon I will book the next flight to New York. But that isn't really why I'm writing this letter._

_Honey, how are things? The last time we talked you were telling me you hadn't seen one of Them in a while. I guess the question I'm really asking is have you seen anything? I love you, and I want to know what's going on in your life. You have to understand that I don't know what you are able to see, and that's hard for me. But I am still your mother and I want to be able to know what's going on in your life so please stop being ridiculous about all of this and talk to me._

_Once again, I love you. So, so much._

_Sincerely, Renee._

_P.S: Phil says hi. Don't worry, I have respected your wishes and haven't told him yet._

I folded the piece of paper and let it fall into the trashcan. It wasn't like I despised Renee, that wasn't it at all. She tried to be there for me every single time another one of Them showed up and researched stuff for me. But I could tell that was too much for her to handle, and in a way I scared her. She doesn't know that I overheard her talking to Phil about sending me to live with Charlie when I was seventeen. She made up an excuse like she and Phil were moving and she didn't think the environment would be good for me. I didn't want to make her feel bad, so I made her think I believed her, when in all truthfulness I knew she sent me away because she didn't know how to provide things for her daughter who was different from everyone else.

Furiously, I grabbed my coat and slipped it on as I walked out the door. I was already walking on the streets when my cell phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and touched the screen to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Belly Bean!" Emmett greeted.

I rolled my eyes at the nickname he had given me. "Hey, Em. What's up?"

"Well, Rose and I are going over to Edward's to check up on how he's doing. Alice and Jasper should be coming, too."

"Is that your way of asking if I want to visit too?" I asked.

"Yeah, pretty much," Emmett said. "So can you come?"

I bit my lip. "Sure, why not? I don't have his address though."

"Oh, here it is," Emmett said. I memorized the address after he said it six times because I didn't have a pen and paper. "I'll see you in a few, then."

"Yeah, see you." I put the phone back in my pocket and walked into Starbucks. I ordered my coffee and left to head towards Edward's apartment.

Edward didn't live too far from Starbucks, and I kind of figured that was why he worked there. As a matter of fact, he didn't live too far from the dance studio either. Edward lived in a good area. Of course, that was proven when I was standing in front of his apartment building. He lived in one of newly built ones – the new expensive buildings. A guy who works at Starbucks can pay the rent here? Remind me to apply for a job there . . .

I looked for the apartment number that Emmett had given me on the eighth floor. 17A . . . 19A . . . 21A . . . found it. 23A. Just as I was about to knock on the door, I heard Emmett say, "Edward where are you going? You shouldn't be standing, it might not be good for your recovery."

"I broke some ribs and broke my arm. It's not like my legs are paralyzed," Edward said. "And if you're wondering, I'm going to answer the door."

_Huh? But I didn't even knock on the door yet . . ._

"No one knocked on the door."

"I just have a feeling that someone is here." The door then swung open, and standing there was Edward without a shirt on and bandages over his stomach and a cast on his arm. I couldn't help my eyes as they traveled down his chest and to his covered abs. Jesus, even bandaged up I could see how perfect his muscles were. "Hey, Bella," Edward greeted, bringing me out of my reverie.

I blinked a couple of times before I was truly focused. "Um, hi. Emmett said that I should come over."

"That's so nice of you. But you didn't have to come."

"Do you not want me here?" I asked, kind of hurt.

"No!" He practically yelled, making me jump a little from surprise. "What I meant to say was that you didn't have to come and see if I was okay. It's not like I'm in a coma," _or have paralyzed legs_. "And I'm pretty sure you have better things to do than see me."

I shook my head. "Actually, I don't. My day has been pretty monotonous, to be honest. It's not like you're boring, so I have not problem coming over."

Edward smiled at me. "That's great, then! Come in."

I walked into the apartment and took notice that not only did he live in a new building, but also the apartment itself was quite incredible. Translation: Expensive looking. Emmett and Rosalie were sitting in the couch when I came in the room – Emmett talking on the phone and Rosalie smirking. When Emmett hung up, they both stood up.

"We actually have to run a few errands before Carlisle and Esme come and visit next weekend," Rosalie announced to Edward and I.

"I didn't know they were coming," Edward commented.

"Neither did we. But Carlisle just called and said that they wanted to see how you were doing and if I was making sure you didn't get into a load of shit. But I guess I kind of let them down, huh?"

Edward walked over and patted Emmett on the shoulder. "You have to stop blaming yourself. I was the one who started the fight anyway. Just let it go."

Emmett sighed. "Okay, fine. Only because I love you, and because Bella practically said the same thing. Give or take a few words." He shrugged. "Okay, we better get going. Oh and Alice and Jasper can't come anymore. Alice got distracted with a sale and Jasper is enveloped in clothing. Shocker, right? So you're stuck with Bella."

I scoffed. "You make that sound like I'm the plague, or something."

"With your luck, you might as well be," Rose, teased, making me swat her arm.

We said goodbye to the two and soon enough, Edward and I were sitting in his living room in utter silence. I took the stillness to really look Edward over. He was sprawled on his couch with a hand on his bandaged stomach. Bruises I didn't notice before were now very apparent, like the one on his right arm that was grotesquely purple and the size of a baseball. Tears started to form in my eyes as I noticed how badly beat up he was because of me. Edward saw the tears escape my eyes and was immediately at my side.

"Bella? What's wrong?" He asked frantically.

"Edward, I'm so sorry!"

"For what?"

"For this," I waved my hands over his body. "If I didn't talk to Jacob he wouldn't have followed me. If I just defended myself better you wouldn't have had to come and save me and get yourself hurt."

"Hey, this was not your fault," He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "It was my choice to hit him, and to be frank I don't regret what happened. If I didn't punch him he would have touched you against your will. I want you to say it's not your fault."

"No."

"Say it," I shook my head. "It's easy. Say it after me: It was not my fault."

I bit my lip. "It was not my fault," I said in defeat.

"That wasn't hard. Don't you feel better now?"

"Sure," I laughed softly.

Once again, it was silent. Except Edward's good arm was still wrapped around me and I was wiping away any stray tears on my cheeks. I felt Edward's eyes were on me, and I tried very hard not to look at him. I just blushed and looked down.

"Hey, Edward. Can I ask you a question?"

He nodded. "Of course."

"I just wanted to know how you knew I was standing outside your door. I didn't even make a sound or anything."

I finally gazed at Edward who was no longer looking at me, but at the ground. He pursed his lips into a straight line before replying, "Honestly? I have no idea. It was like someone was telling me there was someone there. It just kept on saying, 'open your door, someone's waiting for you.' That sounds weird, doesn't it?"

Before I answered I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Elizabeth was hiding from behind the corner of the wall with a kind smile on her face.

"That doesn't sound weird at all. I've heard weirder things. Trust me." Edward chuckled and I smiled.

"But do you know what's even weirder?" I raised and eyebrow. "The voice in my head sounded like mom. This voice had the same reassuring voice that she always used when I was in denial." He let out a shaky breath.

Looking at him now, his expression went from totally normal to sad. His eyes held pain, like he was going back to a scary place that he didn't want to see. I knew then that he tried to hide his grief to make everyone else happy. I'd only seen Edward let down his guard three times – when he told me about his mother the first time we met, the piano piece he wrote, and now. And to be honest, I didn't like seeing him sad. I wanted to take it all away so he could be happy and forget about everything that happened a long time ago.

But for now, all I could do was replace his hold around my shoulders and put my arms around him gently so I wouldn't hurt his ribs. Looking at the corner of the wall now, Elizabeth's smile completely vanished. A tear raced down her cheek and fell to the floor, which of course didn't make a mark at all. She looked down at her hands, which were wet from wiping away her tears, and began to disappear into thin air.

* * *

**Hey, so I updated a little bit earlier than I usually do. Proof? I updated twice in the same month (Which is strangely rare for this story)!!!! I was going to post this up around nine o'clock but then SYTYCD (so you think you can dance) came on and I couldn't stop watching because it's my favorite show. I mean, come on! 100th episode . . . and they got Travis && Heidi to dance The Bench. Genius!!!**

**Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter. To be honest, it was hard because I'm trying to keep everyone in character and not so giddy all of the time.**

**Don't know if I can update as quick this time, but will try : )**

**Review, please && thank you.**


	6. Chapter 5: Heartbreaker

Preview Of Last Chapter:

_But for now, all I could do was replace his hold around my shoulders and put my arms around him gently so I wouldn't hurt his ribs. Looking at the corner of the wall now, Elizabeth's smile completely vanished. A tear raced down her cheek and fell to the floor, which of course didn't make a mark at all. She looked down at her hands, which were wet from wiping away her tears, and began to disappear into thin air.  


* * *

_

Chapter 5: Heartbreaker

Swing. Swing. Swing.

I watched as thirteen year-old Edward sat on the swing, going higher and higher each time he kicked his legs. He didn't look like he wanted to go higher; in fact, he looked like he didn't even know he was practically flying. His face was intent – clearly focused on something far away in his mind. It was quiet, the only sound being the wind as it whistled through the trees. I felt kind of awkward, watching a thirteen year-old boy. It was kind of like I was stalking him but at the same time I wasn't. I didn't even know what the hell I was supposed to do now!

"Hey! Eddie boy!" A low, rough voice hollered. Edward immediately stopped kicking his legs and the swing got lower and lower until his feet met the sand. He looked at the boy who was tall and had messy black hair and a pierced ear.

"What do you want, Sam?" He asked monotonously.

The boy, who I now knew was Sam, smirked and stalked towards Edward with his hands in his pockets. "I heard what the deal about your real mother was."

"So? Everybody knows."

"No, I mean the _real _deal. The actual truth." Edward's eyes went wide and he suddenly looked even paler. "You and Emmett said your parents gave you up when you were born. That's what happened to Emmett, not you."

Edward got off the swing and narrowed his eyes at Sam. "Shut. Up."

Sam ignored him. "I understand why the Cullen's adopted Emmett, but you? I'm not so sure. You're weird, Eddie boy, a freak. Everyone thought it was because you were just getting used to being an adopted kid. But now I know that was a lie."

"Shut the hell up, Sam," Edward hissed.

"Why? Afraid I'm going to tell everyone that your mom committed suicide and left you all by yourself? I don't blame her, who would love someone like you?"

I saw anger in Edward's eyes as he walked quickly towards Sam with fisted hands. He raised his arm ready to punch Sam square in the face, when he suddenly hesitated. He stood there, fist in the air and clutching onto Sam's arm with such hold his knuckles became white. To say I was shocked when Edward lowered his arm and stepped away was an understatement. Why didn't he beat the fuck out of him?

Edward pursed his lips and grabbed his backpack by the swings before taking off. Sam started to laugh and walk away towards the back of the school. I followed Edward, running as quick as I could before it got really bright and everything turned white.

*****

We had to find dresses for the masquerade ball Alice was hosting. It was a charity for the kids who were suffering in Africa, and Alice quickly agreed to arrange the ball. We – Emmett, Jasper, Rose, Edward and I – agreed we would attend and help her out. And she wanted everything to go perfectly. If that meant she had to dress up each and every person attending, she would do so. But she didn't because she had too many things on her plate. So, she decided to dress us up instead – masks, dresses, everything. The guys just said they would wear a tux but allowed her to choose their masks. That made Alice happy. Us girls however, couldn't make the same negotiation.

"I'm telling you guys, it was the weirdest dream I'd ever had," I said as we searched through racks and racks of dresses.

Just as I was turned around, Alice placed three dresses in my arms. "You mean it was even weirder than that dream you had of Em and Edward when they first met? Because, that dream alone was weird."

"Yeah, Bells," Rosalie said as she held a purple dress up against my body. "How much weirder can your dreams get?"

"Apparently much weirder. I think if I rated it on a 'weird scale,' it would reach an 8.9. I mean, he didn't even fight back or anything! He just stood there and took it even though it clearly cut him deep. I'm starting to think that Edward is way more complex than I thought."

Rosalie scoffed. "Well, obviously he's complex. Why else would his mom still be here? If he was simple-minded he would be healed in no time and she would've moved on." She pushed me into the dressing room and slammed the door. I sighed and began to strip of my clothes and put on the first dress.

"It takes a complicated person to fix another of the same complexity," Rose stated.

I stepped out of the dressing room clad in a red beaded chiffon halter gown, hands on my hips. "Are you saying I'm complex?"

"Are you denying it?" I rolled my eyes. Alice shook her head. "Not this dress. Try on the purple one Rose found you. It was really cute."

Once I was back in the dressing room I put on the purple dress. I stepped out of the small confined room and was quickly rejected of the strapless silk gown. "Bella! Show us the last dress already!" Rose yelled.

"Yeah! I need to choose your mask according to your dress and it needs to be perfect!" Alice agreed.

I stepped out in a satin black segal strapless charmeuse gown. I ran a hand through my hair anxiously as I waited for their response. "Well? What do you think?"

"It's gorgeous on you! And I know what kind of mask I can get you now. I saw it somewhere in this store. Hold on." Alice ran out of the dressing room and into the store.

Rosalie examined the dress from top to bottom. "It really is beautiful, Bells."

"Thanks." I smiled at her.

Alice came running back in with a mask in her hand. She pulled it over my head before I even got a good look at it. She stepped away from me and smiled widely and squealed while Rosalie was trying to calm her down. My first thought was shit, I look like a fucking idiot. But when I turned to the mirror I gasped. I mean, wow. Like . . . wow.

I knew what the dress looked like already – floor length and was so simple that it was beautiful. But the mask completed it. It was a black sparkly mask that was meticulously outlined with intricate beads. The mask stood out compared to the dress, but they complimented each other nicely.

In the mirror I saw Alice jumping up and down, clapping her hands in excitement as I read her mouth saying how this was my dress and all the boys' jaws that are going to drop once everyone sees Rose and I. I wasn't listening, everything around me was silent and the only thing in my mind was Edward – how I wanted Edward's jaw to drop when he saw me in the dress. Just then, everything turned wrong.

My head felt like I was being hammered and it was as if my body was being stabbed with tiny pieces of sharp, thick glass. My knees gave in and I fell to the floor and I couldn't find my voice to scream; the only thing that came out was pained breaths. The room went arctic and my vision was becoming dim and blurry. When I looked up from the ground my eyes were met with a malicious glare that belonged to a beautiful woman standing in the corner of the room.

She was tall with a terrific body. Her long auburn curls cascaded to her waist and her eyes were a glorious royal blue. She would have been drop dead gorgeous if she got rid of the scowl on her face.

"Stay away from, Edward," She hissed. "He's only going to break your heart."

Before I could respond and ask her why I shouldn't be near Edward, she began to dissolve into air. The pain throughout my body was gone and the temperature was back to normal. After blinking my eyes a couple of times, my vision was no longer bleary. I was on my knees and left with one question: What the hell was that?

I felt two pairs of hands grab each of my arms and lift me up. I swayed a little once I was on my feet and collapsed in the nearest cushiony chair. I was still staring at the corner, stunned.

"Bella!" Rosalie yelled, bringing me out of my reverie. My mouth opened, no sign of my voice making an appearance. "Are you okay?"

"I-I d-don't know w-what h-happened," I stuttered as my whole body shook with fear.

Alice let go of my arm and squared my shoulders to face her. "Did you see someone?" I nodded. "Was it Elizabeth?" I shook my head.

_Hell no. It was some evil thing in a beautiful body_.

"Who was it then, Bella?" She asked.

I bit my lip. "I don't know."

*****

After the whole creepy-woman-in-the-corner fiasco, I was able to swallow the shock down and convince Rose and Alice that I was okay. Alice professionally wrapped my dress, shoes and mask in a gold colored box and tied it in a big red bow. It reminded me of Christmas, but I stored it safely in my closet non-the less. When I tried to get some sleep, my phone started to ring. I ignored it the first time and shut my eyes again. After the sixth time, I answered it.

"Hello?" I grumbled.

"Belly Bean! Are you okay?" Emmett practically yelled in my ear. "I heard what happened in the store today and I'm surprised you didn't tell me. I mean, how could you not tell me? I've been calling you six times because I've been so worried –"

"Em . . ."

"– And so now here I am calling you at ten in the evening and I'm receiving this information now from Rose. Bella you better start talking or I'm going to . . ."

"Emmett!" I interrupted. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. But I honestly didn't think anything serious about it. It just kind of freaked me out. Don't worry about me, if anything happens I'll call you okay?"

Emmett took a long breath and exhaled loudly. "Okay, fine. You're like a little sister to me, Bells. I care about you."

"I know, Em. And thank you."

"Anytime. G'night."

"Night," I replied and hung up the phone. I tried to get some sleep again, but I was too awake to shut my eyes peacefully. Groaning as I got out of bed, I switched on some lights. I brought a robe over me and slipped on my fuzzy slippers.

Might as well make some coffee since I'm so awake.

I brewed the coffee and leaned on the counter top, staring out the window and looking down at the busy streets of New York City. There was a sudden knock on my door and my heart started beating harder and faster. Who would come here so late at night? The only thought going through my mind was: Oh my God. This is like The Strangers and I'm going to die. _Shit!_

I grabbed the umbrella by the door and started opening it slowly. I took a deep breath and brought the umbrella high as I swung the door wide open, only to be standing face to face with Edward. He eyed my umbrella with shock.

"Oh, hey," I said and put the umbrella back in it's place. "Sorry, I was paranoid and thought there was a killer outside my door."

He chuckled and said, "Well I'm glad it was me and not a killer, then." I nodded in agreement. Though I swore I heard him mumble, "But I am killer. Two people I know are dead and it's all my fault."

"Why don't you come inside? I'm sure you didn't just come here late at night to knock on my door. Am I right?" I said, ignoring what I thought he said under his breath.

"Yeah, you are. I just need someone to talk to and you've been a really good friend lately."

"Sure. I'll grab us some coffee. Go ahead and sit in the living room." He nodded and I shut the door behind me.

I scurried towards the kitchen and was happy that the coffee was ready as I poured it into two mugs. I carried them out of the kitchen and into the living room, being cautious of not spilling any of the hot liquid on my skin. As I approached the room I saw Edward sitting on the couch and bouncing his knee up and down as if he was nervous about something. I pursed my lips together and set the mugs on the coffee table before I sat down beside him.

"So," I said awkwardly. "What's up?"

He hesitated before answering and his knee actions had stopped. "Do you believe in ghosts?"

_Do I ever . . ._ "Um, yeah, sure." I said shortly.

"It's just that I feel like I'm being watched all of a sudden – and it doesn't even seem like it's . . . human." That must have been Elizabeth. I mean, just because she's dead doesn't mean she doesn't watch over her son. "I also felt a little hostility and anger out of no where. It was just bizarre."

_Wait . . . what?_

"What do you mean by anger? Was it like self anger or –"

He shook his head. "It was revenge." He whispered. "I'm sorry, I must sound like I'm crazy."

I shook my head. "I don't think you're crazy. But I definitely think that you are being visited by something."

"What should I do about it?" He asked anxiously.

"Just leave it to me," I said. "I know a lot of stuff about the supernatural." _More than you will ever know._

"Thanks, Bella. I'm glad we had this talk, you always know just what to say." He gave me a hug and stood up from the couch. "I better go, so I'll see you around."

He started walking towards the door when I mumbled, "Bye."

He turned around and flashed me a crooked smile. "Sweet Dreams, Bella." And then the door clicked when it closed.

As I shuffled into my bed it got to me that maybe the – freaky – girl I saw at the dress shop was somehow connected to the presence that Edward was feeling. And what did he mean he killed two people? The only person I know was Elizabeth, and he didn't kill her. So I was thinking that he was blaming himself for someone's death, again. Somehow they were all connected, but I just couldn't figure it out. I was too tired.

I began to shift towards sleep, and the deeper I got, the more I started to hear whispers.

"Edward isn't worth it. He'll only break your heart," A voice whispered before I was officially asleep.

* * *

**Yes, I am indeed alive! I got back on Sunday, but I had to unpack and buy school supplies (eeewww). I started school on Thursday and I am glad to say my first day of high school wasn't that bad. I didn't get lost and the boys there are very yummy so all is good!**

**I'm sorry this isn't very long, but I felt so bad that I hadn't updated in forever. And I hope you're still with me because I have so much planned for this story.**

**Now . . . who do you think the girl Bella saw at the dress shop is? Let me know when you _REVIEW!_**

**Peace guys, I'm off to wait until monday so i can see some more yummy high school boys. Ahaa!**


	7. Chapter 6: A Mess

_Preview Of Last Chapter:_

_I began to shift towards sleep, and the deeper I got, the more I started to hear whispers.  
_

_"Edward isn't worth it. He'll only break your heart," A voice whispered before I was officially asleep._

* * *

Chapter 6: A Mess

"So it wasn't you that was haunting Edward?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "Why would I want to scare my own son?"

"That's what I thought," I said. "And I have a feeling this has something to do with the girl I saw at the dress shop."

"Tell me again what happened."

I told her how it came out of nowhere and the force had knocked me to the ground, weak. Elizabeth listened intently as I described what the girl looked like and the menacing glare she had given me.

"And then she was like, 'stay away from Edward, he's only going to break your heart,'" I mocked. I felt the same chills that I had experienced when I saw her, but I knew she wasn't here. It was merely the fact of remembering what had happened. "Do you know anything about this?"

"I'm not completely sure. My mind is a little fuzzy on the girl you described, but I definitely think if I try hard enough to remember, I'll be able to let you know."

I nodded my head. "Thanks, Elizabeth. My mind is telling me that I should just forget about what happened, but there's this feeling in my gut saying that I should watch out for her. And, I hate to admit this, but I'm scared."

Elizabeth placed her hand on my arm, her touch as cold as ice, but I only felt warmth. Sometimes – And I never questioned her about this – I wondered why Elizabeth hung herself, in the living room of all places. Both Edward and her had told me that she had gotten depressed after her husband died, but what was the final thought that made her decide she wanted to die? She was such a loving person, from what I could tell, and none of it made sense to me. Instead of saying anything, I took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. She smiled before she began to evaporate into nothingness, leaving me alone and holding hands with the air.

As I stood up from the couch, I heard something coming from the kitchen – lots of clinking and banging. Curiosity got the best of me and I started to head towards the loud sounds, taking slow steps. When I approached the kitchen it was suddenly dead silent and there was no one or nothing there. I shrugged and turned on my heel to go back to the couch. However, as I took my first step, the banging of pans began to boom through the whole entire apartment. I whipped around and stuck my head into the room again. But this time, I gasped and started to tremble.

Everything was out of place – plates and glasses were broken and silverwares were on the floor. Pans were out of their proper cupboards and scattered all over the counter. The refrigerator was wide open, showing all of the food on the ground or thrown at the wall. As my eyes followed the food that was splayed on the bright yellow walls, I eventually saw the one thing that was above the window. And it was written in ketchup.

_Hello, Bella. My name is Allie Wright._

It felt like I was moving in slow motion then, walking backwards and trying not to fall on the glass. As soon as I was out of the kitchen, I grabbed my coat and ran out the door.

I knocked once. Twice. Three times. I knocked so hard that my knuckles began to ache, but I couldn't focus, I just needed someone. The door swung open and stood there was Edward in track pants and an A&F shirt.

"Bella?" He asked. I was panting from running here and I was still shaking from the previous event. "Bella, are you okay?"

"Do you know Allie Wright?"

"Wait, what? How do you know about her?"

"That doesn't matter!" I snapped, and instantly felt guilty for reacting so aggressively. I took a deep breath and continued, "Does Allie Wright mean anything to you?"

Edward shook his head. "Yeah. Y-yes. Come in."

I walked in with crossed arms as he led me to his very nice, very clean, living room. We sat in silence, and I didn't really know what to say.

"Allie was my girlfriend in high school," Edward said suddenly. "She was head cheerleader and I was the quarterback – it only made sense that we started dating. But as I got to know her, she became the person who I could rely on without any judgment. I liked her a lot. But loved her? No, no I didn't. So on the night of our senior prom she told me she loved me, and I couldn't say it back. It surprised me, but even so I knew I couldn't say it because it would be a lie.

On graduation day, I tried to look for her so I could congratulate her. But I only found her house keeper, red eyed and shaky." Edward took a deep breath. "Allie had committed suicide the night before. She left me a note, you know. Saying that because I couldn't love her, she couldn't live."

I looked at Edward, noticing how he was trying not to cry. I found myself gathering tears but I blinked them away and held his hand. "It wasn't your fault for her death."

Edward shook his head. "Yes it is. If I just told her I loved her then she would still be alive and living the life she was meant to lead. I'm a killer, Bella. I killed my mom and I killed Allie!"

_But I am killer. Two people I know are dead and it's all my fault._

The tears spilled out of my eyes then, I couldn't help it. I couldn't stand knowing that Edward was blaming himself for something that he couldn't control. "Edward, look at me." He started out the window. "Look at me! This is not your fault. What happened to your mom and Allie was out of your control. That was the past, you have to move on and live."

He paused. "I don't know if I can," He whispered shakily.

"You can. I'll be by your side through it all."

Edward hugged me then, enveloping me in his very toned body. He buried his face in my hair and all I could do was rub circles on his back.

"If I may ask," He said, talking in my hair. "How did you know about Allie?"

I froze. "Um, Emmett told me about her once when he was mentioning you. I thought it might mean something."

"It did. And I'm glad I was able to talk about it with you."

I didn't reply because I didn't know what to say. There was this feeling that was telling me I shouldn't have lied about how I knew about her, how I knew about his mother. But I didn't want to freak him out. Maybe in the future I would be able to tell him the truth.

_I need you now and forever, stay right here with me. Don't ever leave_.

I watched as Edward danced with a beautiful redhead who had flawless skin and a gorgeous green dress that showed off her long hair. I couldn't help but feel slightly jealous that Edward was so close to her and looking her in the eyes as she smiled that pearly white smile at him. I noticed that they both had crowns upon their heads and they were the only ones dancing. Prom King and Queen – of course, people as beautiful as them were always chosen.

Suddenly, everyone started clapping and the song had ended, people started filing out little by little. It wasn't long until Edward and the girl soon left the gymnasium and was headed outside. I followed, obviously not because I wanted to, but because I was seeing this for a reason. I swear though, If they started to kiss I was out of this dream for good.

Instead of gong to his car, Edward led the girl to a large tree. They held hands and I wanted to slap the girl in the face, but I didn't know why.

"I had fun tonight," The girl said.

"I did, too," Edward replied.

"Look, Edward. I have something to tell you and I hope you feel the same way," she said. "I love you."

Edward pursed his lips and put his arm around her. "Look, Allie . . ."

"You don't love me, do you," she whispered. When Edward didn't respond, she pushed him away. "Our relationship has been a lie."

"No, it's not a lie. I like you a lot, Allie."

"But you don't love me!" She snapped. She was crying now, her mascara smearing. "Fuck you, Edward Cullen. Fuck you for making me feel like such a lovesick fool."

Edward took a step towards her, trying to reach her. She stepped back shaking her head. "Don't be like this. Please."

Again she shook her head, a sob escaping her lips. "I can't live knowing you don't love me back." With that, she started to walk away from him. Just as she was about to pass by me, she stopped foot. "He'll break your heart, Bella. Just like he broke mine."

I stood there shocked. I couldn't believe she could see me and I couldn't believe she knew my name. How was that possible? Her name though, it sounded familiar . . .

Allie . . . Wright. Holy shit, Allie Wright That girl was the one who committed suicide and the one who wrote on my wall in ketchup. I turned around and saw that she was standing in the parking lot with her arms crossed over her chest, staring at me.

I watched as Alice walked from one side of the room to the other with different decorations each stride. She was decorating for the masquerade ball and as much as I tried to lend a hand, she refused. She was too on the ball and the only sounds that came out of her mouth were oh, yeah, mhm, ah and, I see. This not talking thing was unusual for Alice. I was pretty sure she was overworking herself with this charity event. But she wanted to do it and she didn't want help. What she wanted was for it to be perfect.

That was _so_ Alice.

"Al, I think you should take a breather," I suggested.

"No," She shook her head. "I have to finish in time for the ball."

"That's in two weeks!"

"I know! I don't have that much time. God, I shouldn't have procrastinated," She said.

"Al," I said. She kept pacing around the room. "Alice!" She stopped mid step and looked at me expectantly. "You and I are going to go to the café a block away from here and have a nice break."

"But – "

"No'buts'! Grab your coat and let's go," I ordered. Alice sighed and put the streamers on the floor, grabbing her coat as she followed me out the door.

She kept looking back at the plaza, begging me many times if we could go back and finish and then have coffee. Of course I said no, not just for her sanity, but also mine. So instead of nagging she decided to bombard me with her ideas of how to decorate the room and what company she should book to cater and who to hire as a DJ. I was becoming dizzy from listening to it all and trying to give my best opinion. I was over the moon when we finally reached the café and couldn't wait to order some caffeine.

The waiter took our order and we both sat in silence as we waited. Alice was getting restless – always tapping her fingers on the table, moving her head from side to side and checking her cell for the time. I knew she wanted to go back and work on the ball, but she was going to overwork herself. That small body of hers could only put on so much energy.

"Alice," I said, catching her attention. "Will you relax? You'll be able to finish in time."

"How do you know? I mean I have so much to do!"

"You'll be okay. It is you, after all. I could tell you I'm getting married right now and you would have a wedding set up in an hour flat. So just relax, okay?"

Alice sighed. "Fine. But if I don't finish I'll be blaming you personally and you'll be my bitch for life."

I laughed. "Deal."

"Oh man," Alice said. "I need my coffee. I haven't gotten much sleep lately."

"All that planning is really getting to you, huh?"

"No, no. It's not the planning."

"Then, what?"

"I keep on getting this feeling and it's just hard to put it out of my mind," she squirmed.

"What kind of feeling?" I asked.

Alice was silent for second. I knew she was hesitating and it was making me worried. "Just . . . watch yourself okay? I mean watch where your feelings are headed."

"But, Alice, what do you mean?"

"It's just this feeling, I'm sure it's nothing," She dismissed.

I nodded, but there was something she wasn't telling me. When our order came, I stuffed the apple pie in my mouth and drank the coffee like it was a drug. Alice ordered a coffee cake _and_ coffee. Plus, she got three more cups of it. She must have been really tired; I just wish I knew the feeling that was keeping her up.

Alice finished and we argued about who would pay for the bill, I offered but of course lost to Alice. "It's only ten bucks, Bella," She said. But that didn't mean I still felt bad for her paying, I was the one who forced her to come to the café anyways.

On our way back, I could definitely tell that Alice was back to normal. She was full of energy and was very carefree. She didn't seem as stressed about the ball but more excited. When we entered the plaza and walked to the big room, she told me to grab some twinkly lights from the storage closet just down the hall and I agreed, seeing as how she was finally letting me help. It was a struggle getting the lights since they were on the highest shelf of the closet. I tripped a couple of times and fell off the stool once, but eventually was able to grab the lights and head back to the room.

Halfway to the large ballroom Alice yelled, "Bella?"

I stopped mid-step. "Yeah?"

"Do you know anyone name Allie?"

I gulped. "Allie . . ."

"Wright," She replied.

I dropped the lights on the ground soft enough so that they wouldn't break and ran to the ballroom. As soon as I came about, I was beside Alice who was staring wide-eyed at the soon to be masquerade ball. Except, it was a little different then when we left it.

"Son of a bitch," I managed to rasp out.

* * *

**Oh my effing God . . . I am sooooooo sorry for not updating in like a month ! Truly, truly am. It's not that I don't like writing this story, it's just that I've been busy lately. I love this story with all my heart and it hurt me that I wasn't writing faster. Plus, I was inspiration-less again. So again, I'm sorry! I'll try to update more.**

**What's going on in my life?**

**Let's start with school. Okay, so I've been studying like crazy because my science teacher is a douche and can't teach to save her life. If I want to pass science this semester, I have to cram and learn how to do everything myself. Stupid Ms. Kang . . . . Anyways! Also, there's been lots of drama lately and I seem to be the one everyone wants to talk to about it. So yeah I'm getting caught up in drama even though I don't want to. Also, I'm reading Gone With The Wind for English and holy son of a cock is that book LONG! I need to finish reading it by next friday and I'm only on page 642 . . . god dammit.**

**Okay, as most of you know, I dance on a regular basis. Thankfully this year I only dance on mondays, tuesdays, wednesdays and saturdays. Saturday classes only last till late November because it's mainly just a prep for exams. So that will be out and it will just be those three days. But you know, it's still a lot because of homework mashed up with that.**

**Friends. I have no idea why, but lately I've been spending time with my friends more than I usually do. And that's a lot, because I used to hang out with my friends whenever I was free. But now that I only dance four days a week and they usually start at 7 at night, I spend time with them after school. And on the days don't have dance I hang out with them until curfew. So yeah . . . busy, busy, busy! Not to mention the parties are pretty hardy : ) LOL get it? party hardy? No? Okay haha.**

**Gossip Girl, Vampire Diaries, Supernatural, Glee and 90210! OMG Those show on monday to thursday and I can't miss them. I love those shows. They're good okay? Gossip Girl is always so good because it's a drama but not so dramatic to the point where it's a soap opera. Can you believe Hilary Duff is going to be a semi-regular on the show now? And Tyra Banks? WTF? But awesome! Vampire Diaries is so different from the books, but the TV series is just addicting. 90210 is always good, what can I say? Supernatural is such a big inspiration for this story. Plus Jensen Ackles (Dean) is sooooo hot. *drool* And Glee, omg so funny. I love the fact that they don't get actors and make them sing, but they get singers and make them act. Even if the acting is terrible, they make it up for their voice. Plus, it's different from the other shows out there. So yeah . . . watch those shoes if you don't. So good!**

**I'm always searching music lately, not really as a good as an excuse as the others, but yeah! One Less Lonely Girl by Justin Bieber ? NEW ADDICTION! CHECK IT OUT**

**Okay, this was a loooong author's note. Longest I've ever written. But hopefully that gives you some insight of where I have been lately.**

**Please REVIEW! I don't care if it's good or bad or if it doesn't even have anything to do with this story. It could be about your clothes for all I care (btw, I need a new hair curler. Any suggestions?). Just review. For me?**

**Love you guys  
**

**Karina**


	8. Chapter 7: Tremble

Chapter 7: Tremble

What the hell?

I specifically remembered that Alice had decorated the room in only black and white, so why was it red? It wasn't tomato red like crayons and markers – it was blood red. The streamers and balloons, and even the punch bowls were all stained in the same grotesque red. I scanned the room once more and noticed in the far corner was a napkin pinned to the wall, and Alice was staring at it. I didn't like how she was looking at it; emotionless, empty. I rushed to her and ripped the note off the wall.

_Bella,_

_Do you like the color? I think it's lovely, if I do say so myself. This is just a tiny example of what could happen if you don't listen to me. I could do so much more, don't even try to test me. I suggest – with all of my heart – that you stay away from Edward. NOW._

_Your biggest fan, Allie Wright._

_P.S: Is the blood real? Fake? You'll never know._

I crumpled the piece of paper and chucked it on the floor. Alice still hadn't moved from her position and it really made me wander what was going through her head. "Al?" I asked. "Alice, are you okay?"

I breathed a sigh of relief when she nodded. "Yeah. But, all of my hard work," she gulped. "Ruined!"

"Oh, Aly, we can go to the store right now and get new decorations," I suggested.

She shrugged. "It's fine. I have extra stuff in my car."

"Then why are you so upset?"

"Because I don't know if the blood is real or not! I don't know how I would handle it if it was real."

"It's not real. If it was, I would have ran out of the room already."

She nodded. "I forgot you didn't like the smell of blood," She sighed. "Thank God! I was really grossed out."

I laughed. "Well, this Allie chick can't really be my biggest fan if she doesn't know I can distinct real blood from fake. I mean she was right about how I hate it, but the smell? Not so much," I said. "Tell you what, how about I get started cleaning up while you organize yourself and get the other decorations from your car?"

"Sounds good! I'll be right back," Alice replied. I nodded my head as she headed out the door.

_Stupid fucking dead girl_, I thought. _Who the hell does she think she is? Some Dead Queen who gets to do whatever shit she wants?_

It was bad enough that Allie was threatening me, but to get Alice involved, too? That made me angry. And why doesn't she want me to see Edward? I practically just met the guy – though I'm not going to deny that I think he was amazingly good-looking, because he was. But no matter, Allie was getting out of hand. And the moment she confronts me, I'm going to give her a piece of my mind.

"Breathe, Bella. Breathe," I mumbled to myself. "Calm down, and clean this place up."

Right, clean up. That's what I'm supposed to be doing.

I had to walk to the storage room and grab sponges and soap water for the now "blood-stained" walls. I heard footsteps coming from the ballroom, thinking it was Alice coming back from her car. She was always fast anyways, it wasn't a surprise it only took her two minutes to get the decorations. Once I was in the storage closet, I groaned when I saw the sponges and the bucket on a high shelf. If it wasn't the lights, it was the cleaning supplies. I decided that later I would put everything on the eye-level shelf so that no one else would have to suffer like I did.

As I walked back to the ballroom, I noticed a revolting stench roaming the hallway. What sucked the most was that I couldn't even plug my nose because both of my hands were occupied with the cleaning supplies. _Shit_. I was starting to feel light-headed and I noticed my walk pace from side to side as opposed to a normal, straight walk. I wish I knew what Alice was doing in there, and then be able to tell her to get the _horrible_ smell out.

Ugh, My head was pounding, more rapidly and painfully as the door to the ballroom began to near. I couldn't hold the bucket and the sponges anymore; my hands were trembling too much. Instead, my hands grabbed the door to steady the balance my legs were beginning to lose. My eyes started to have a mind of its own – running around and seeking what was in the room. Damn it! Where was that smell coming from?

What the . . .?

_I told you not to test me_, is what was written on the male wood floor. In blood.

"Bella?" I heard Alice call from down the opposite side of the hall.

I couldn't respond, my legs finally gave way and my body fell like a ton of bricks. Everything was numb – I could not smell or touch or hear. However, I could see. And all I saw was a black abyss.

*

"She fainted . . . from the smell of blood?" I heard a oft, smooth voice say.

"Yeah, she has always detested blood," another voice replied. It was more dominant than the other, but still quiet. "She usually just feels dizzy and then it will eventually pass. I have no idea why this time was more severe."

More severe? Poor girl, I know what it's like to feel queasy around blood. Bud damn, it sucks to be her.

"How did she come in contact with so much blood anyways?"

It was silent for a few seconds. I knew this person was hesitating to answer the question. "Alice told me that as they were decorating for the ball a person with a horrible bloody nose passed by."

I was officially confused. I was the only one decorating with Alice and I never . . . oh shit. Please, God, tell me that I'm not the one in the hospital right now. How embarrassing! I might as well have the words _Drama Queen_ tattooed on my forehead.

"Jasper. I think she's starting to wake up."

"Edward, why don't you get everyone else, I'll be here when she's wide awake." I heard Edward mumble something, but I couldn't decipher it. I only knew he left because his footsteps began to descend as he got farther and farther away.

When I opened my eyes, I regretted opening them at all. The sun was too bright and the walls were a boring white color with matching white chairs. It was nothing at all like in the movies where everyone rejoices and the girl is happy that she's alive. I just was wanted to go back to sleep so that my eyes could stop burning.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty," Jazz said softly, "How do you feel?"

"Like shit," I said bluntly.

He chuckled. "I'm not surprised. You've been asleep for almost twenty-four hours."

"What happened?"

"I'm guessing that you caught the smell of blood. Alice was telling me it was like you were having a seizure – shaking all over. But then she said that blood was spilling out of your nose and mouth like crazy. I thought she was exaggerating when she was telling me this on the phone. So I got here before the ambulance arrived and I could see that Al was not exaggerating _at all_."

I was stunned. "Seriously?"

"Obviously. Otherwise, you wouldn't be in a hospital bed right now."

"Smart ass," I mumbled.

He chuckled. "So are you going to tell me what really happened yesterday?"

Just as I was about to reply Emmett, Rosalie and Edward came in with Alice screaming, "Bella! Are you okay? How do you feel? Do you want some more sleep? Hw about a massage – "

"I'll tell you all later," I whispered to Jasper.

He was silent. "Except for . . ." he averted his eyes to Edward, who was laughing at Alice. "Right?" I pursed my lips and nodded.

In away, I felt very guilty for not telling Edward about my secret. I always felt bad for – sort of – lying to him. However, guilt hit me like a wave when everyone was in the same room. Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett – they all knew. And there was Edward, oblivious to the fact that I've been in contact with his mom.

"– Maybe I could go get you some food. The hospital food sucks, right? Or do you like the food here, because that's fine if you do. Man, this room is bland. Do you want me to get you some flowers to color it up a bit? I was thinking orchids?"

"Alice!" I laughed. "Don't worry about me. Just breathe."

"How can I when you're just lying there so weak and vulnerable?" She frowned.

"I'm fine, Al. Just a little tired is all."

Alice eventually agreed to calm down and let me be, though I could tell that she still wanted to help. God, she was so stubborn! Everyone had their concerns however, and my cheeks were rosy red from the embarrassment. The brightness in the room began to fade and the room didn't seem as white. It was now a pale cement color wall with dream colored chairs. It looked like I was in a waiting room.

By the time the nurse came to serve my dinner, I told everyone that they should just go home so that I could rest. In actuality, I just wanted to be alone and try to reminisce what I remembered and try to imagine what I forgot. Alice and Rosalie begged to stay, saying that they could just ask for the nurses to bring in some beds or they could even sleep on the floor. I quickly refused – they didn't have to do that. As much as I loved them and appreciated how much they cared about me, I would feel guilty about them spending the night here in such a boring hospital.

I was almost done my chicken noodle soup when the door opened. I looked up from my bowl and saw Edward, who seemed surprised to see me.

"Oh sorry," He smiled, embarrassed. "I thought you were asleep. I just forgot my jacket."

I shook my head. "It's fine. Is it that gray one on the chair?"

"Yeah, it is." He walked over to the chair and grabbed his jacket. "Okay, um, good night."

Just as he was about to head out the door I said, "Hey, Edward? Do you want to stay for a little bit? I'm not as tired as I thought I was and there's really nothing to do at 6:30 in a hospital," He stood there, speechless. "I mean, it's not like I'm forcing you or anything. I was just wondering. You could go home if you – "

"No, I'd love to," Edward said, cutting my rant short.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I have nothing to do tonight either."

"That's great!" I smiled. "Um, I guess you could pull that god awful chair over here."

"What, you don't like the chair?"

I scoffed. "Please! It looks like one of the chairs I drew when I was six. If I can't draw now, imagine how bad my art was when I was six."

He shook his head and smiled. "Now I'm terrified of seeing you draw. Not very manly."

"I think you're a man. You did, after all, fight for me when that guy tried to rape me."

"Good times."

"I bet," I laughed. "By the way, how are the ribs?"

Edward patted his stomach. "As good as new. Don't forget about the broken arm."

"Yeah but because your ribs were broken it hurt for you to breathe and that made me feel so guilty. Breathing hurt for you! At least you had one good arm so you could still do things."

"Oh I see. So because one arm was broken and the other wasn't you have to neglect it. So what's going to happen if you have two children? When one has the stomach flu you ignore it and just care for the healthy one?"

"You're such a weirdo," I stated.

He shrugged. "You're a horrible mother."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine," I huffed. "How is your arm? Does it get all the TLC it needs?"

"My arm is swell, thank you very much," He replied.

"I'll say it again," I said, trying not to laugh. "You . . . are a _weirdo_."

"At least I don't faint from blood," I stuck my tongue at him.

Edward was surprisingly funny. I thought he was very mature and sweet but now I knew he was mature, sweet and hilarious. If this was the first time I met him, I would have never have guessed anything horrible had happened to him. Unfortunately, I did know. And because of that I could tell that underneath every laugh and smile was just his exterior. In his eyes I could see mourning. Curiosity. Hurt.

_Edward, why are you so hard to cure? Why are you so broken?_ I asked in my mind.

"Oh man," Edward said, reviving me from my reverie. "It's already 11:30."

I gaped. "Already? No way!"

"_Way_. I didn't realize we've been talking for so long. I have class in the morning so I better get going."

"I'm sorry I kept you here this late," I apologized, once again feeling guilty.

"Don't apologize for something that's not your fault," He said,

"Sorry," I replied, remembering seconds later that I had apologized for nothing again. "I mean . . . I'll try."

"Nice save, Swan. Sweet dreams," He whispered, throwing me an award winning smile.

"No way in hell am I going to have a sweet dream in this hospital. But, good night."

Edward nodded his head once at me and set foot outside the door. I closed my eyes trying to get the rest I had wanted earlier, but finding it harder than it was supposed to be. I tossed from side to side and even flipped the pillow so my head laid on the cold side. I just couldn't stoop thinking about Edward – how sad his eyes looked, how wide his smile was. I was just out to ideas on what to do, and I was afraid I wouldn't able to able to help him and Elizabeth would never move on. Not to mention that Allie was now trying to haunt me which was just beyond creepy.

My frustration was beginning to rise, which made me even more frustrated because I was so frustrated that I couldn't sleep. Rising up from bed, I looked in the bag that Alice had brought me to see if she had put my iPod in there.

After scavenging through clothes, toiletries, books and makeup, I finally found my iPod. I laid back down in bed and began to choose a song. When I found one that was soothing, I brought the blankets to my pillow and concentrated to the song as I began to fall asleep.

_Hide and seek, trains and sewing machines. All those years . . . they were here first_.

*

"Bella. . . ." A voice called my name.

I turned on my other side. "Five more minutes, Alice. You can do my hair in five minutes."

"Bella, Dear. Wake up."

I opened my eyes groggily. "Since when do you call me _Dear_ Al –" I was cut short when I saw it wasn't Alice. "Oh, hey Elizabeth. Long time no see, huh?"

She chuckled. "It has been a while. I was trying to remember things about that girl, and I did! Her name is –"

"Allie Wright," I interrupted her.

"Then I guess you also know about how she –"

"Killed herself," I nodded. "Yeah I know about that. She's given me very interesting visits."

"She has? I've missed a lot, haven't I?"

I smiled. "You have no idea."

"Now, before you tell me about her um, "visits", I just want to let you know that you are a great friend for my Edward. His heart is a little lighter now."

"But I was talking to him yesterday and every time he smiled it seemed like he was hiding something."

"Let me assure you that every smile Edward has made lately has been genuine. It just takes a while for him to let go of some of the pain."

I nodded. "That's good, then."

"Very," she agreed. "Now, tell me everything that I have missed in these passed few days."

* * *

**Hola! By this time, I think it's safe to say that my updates are very slow. I'M SORRY! My updates usually will take a month. And for this story, sometimes less. I love it soooo much. This story is my baby. Hopefully you're still with me?**

**Okay, so a little Edward/Bella moments. They're still at the friend stage, I'm sorry to say. They're still getting to know each other.**

**FYI: I wrote the maority of this chapter during info pro class. So . . . each class is 80 minutes long and the parts of the chapters that were written took three classes. So all in all, four pages out of the five were written in four hours, if I'm correct. If not, I apologize, I'm not good at math and I'm not looking forward to it next semester.**

**I'll try to write more during Christmas Holidays (December 24-January 7) and them maybe during exam break (I'm guessing January 20-28). If I don't update until after the holidays, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 3**

**Everyone, if you love me && this story . . . REVIEW : )**

**Karina**


	9. Chapter 8: Reason

Chapter 8: Reason

"_Cops are thinking trauma, of course."_

"_I know what you're thinking, Sam . . . Why'd it have to be clowns?"_

"_Give me a break."_

"_You didn't think I'd remember did you? I mean come on, you still bust out crying whenever you see Ronald McDonald come on the television."_

"_At least I'm not afraid of flying."_

"_Planes crash!"_

"_And apparently, clowns kill."_

I laughed at the TV. "Oh man, you have to love _Supernatural_. That show is pure genius."

"I totally agree," Rose sighed, stuffing her face with more buttered popcorn. "Plus, Sam and Dean are smoking hot. What a bonus!"

"Dean is so much better looking that Sam. Not to mention he's such a smart ass with a reckless quality. I've always had a thing for rebels on TV," I stated.

Rose patted my shoulder and said, "Once again, I totally agree."

Rose and I sat through four episodes of _Supernatural_, never taking our eyes off the screen. The only thing missing was Alice, who was on her anniversary date with Jasper. We probably ate three full bowls of popcorn and drank too many cans of Pepsi. I felt like I gained thirty pounds in four hours. When the phone rang and none of us wanted to answer it because someone might trick our mind into killing ourselves, we decided to call it a night.

We were pitiable, to be honest. Rose was too scared to go home because a zombie might follow her home and I said she should sleep over because I was too scared that the little girl from the portrait would come and kill me. I know I shouldn't be afraid of ghosts considering my . . . condition, but damn the writers of _Supernatural _made it scarier than it really was.

We set up a fort in my living room with cushions, pillows and blankets. We would usually turn off all the lights and light some candles inside the fort. However, tonight the lights were on and there would be no use of the candles. Rose filled the inside with sleeping blankets, big blankets and really fluffy pillows while I grabbed all of the junk food I had in my pantry. As if we didn't have enough junk food in the past four hours. When the both of us were settled inside the fort and curled up in the blankets, we couldn't help but laugh.

"We are _so_ pathetic," Rose admitted.

"I'm going to have to agree with you there. I'm supposed to be used to ghosts. I am very much ashamed with myself."

"Don't worry, Bells," Rose said. "If there's a spirit outside this very fort, I'm sure Sam and Dean will come and save the day."

"Rose, there has to be a murder in order for them to come here. The paper hasn't covered any murders. So if we get killed, then . . ." I corrected.

"So, the Winchester's won't save us?" I shook my head. "Damn it! And I really wanted to see Jensen Ackles in the flesh."

I chuckled. "Don't we all?"

Rosalie sighed and unwrapped herself from her blankets, trying to calm herself down. I was trying not to laugh at how paranoid she looked, but then I remembered that I was still huddled in two big comforters. I then unwrapped myself.

"Let's, talk about something else to keep our minds off the show," I nodded my head in agreement. "So, tell me about you and Edward?"

I shrugged. "There's nothing to tell."

"Oh don't give me that bullshit, Bella. I know you have a thing for him."

"I do not!" I exclaimed.

"Yes, you do. Admit it, you think he is attractive."

"I'm not going to deny that. But so what? A lot of women think he's attractive."

She sighed. "God, you are so stubborn!"

"Yeah well, that's why you love me," I said.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Whatever. But don't forget this when you finally realize you like him: Rosalie Hale fucking told you so."

"Goodnight, Hoe," I replied as I tucked myself in.

"Night, Bitch."

Rosalie went to sleep as soon as her head hit her pillow. I didn't know if it was her snoring that was keeping me up or if it was the jumble in my head. Rose's accusations about my feelings for Edward were so sudden. I had no sort of interest for him in that way – I just met him for Christ's sake!

I turned onto my other side and bit my lip. When I opened my eyes I saw a figure outside the fort. Flimsy blankets covered my side of the fort, and the shadow was very visible to my eyes. I couldn't see anything other than her shadow, which was tall and curvy in all the right places. After blinking a couple of times, I focused on the place where I saw the figure. But, I didn't see anything . . . she was gone.

*****

I was walking down a hallway with bright lights and light beige walls. I didn't know if I should have felt comfort or horror. It was quiet though – no sign of civilization in the place. However, I then heard screaming coming from downstairs and realized I had spoken too soon.

"Why are you never proud of me?" A girl bellowed.

God, when the hell does this freaking hall end? I now knew how Ms. Clavel felt in _Madeline_ when the end of the hall would keep on getting farther and farther away as she made her way to the door.

I turned corners, following wherever this hall led me. The yelling continued as I scavenged for the stairs. The hall turned left and then turned right, and by this time I was sure that I was in a maze and the people downstairs were just there to distract me. I noticed the lights start to flicker as I began to run down the hall. Shit, this was like _Supernatural_ . . . a ghost might be here to kill me. Or maybe it was a demon.

Jesus, Bella. Get a hold of yourself!

"Please, for once just support me on this decision," The girl pleaded.

The hallway finally came to an end – the staircase. I was so happy I just wanted jump in the air, but then I remembered there was someone downstairs. This was a dream and I was having it for a reason.

I ran down the stairs and held onto the banister so I wouldn't fall. The staircase was built in a circular way, making me dizzy each step I took. The farther I went down the stairs, the louder the voices became. From the sound of it, there were two people and they were arguing like no tomorrow.

"I can't support you when you go behind my back," The male voice said.

"I had no choice!" The girl yelled. "Every time I told you what I wanted to do with my life, you would ignore me. This was the only way for you to listen."

"But a teacher is not a good life choice."

"How is being an educator not a good occupation?"

"Because you don't get paid a lot of money. Your life would be very limited on that salary."

"It always comes down to money with you. Money this, money that! Maybe you should have just had the dollar sign as your daughter instead!"  
"Now you know that isn't true . . ."

"Oh, but it is! Anything that was important to me always came in second to your job and the money you earned."

_How long were these stairs?_

"Now, honey I wouldn't be talking to you right now if I didn't care about you."

"That's bullshit! You never cared about me. I'm sorry if I was a mistake. There's only one person who's ever loved me and he'll be picking me up soon."

I finally reached the bottom of the stairs when a loud banging sound filled the whole house. It hurt my ears, making me have to cover them with my hands and shut my eyes tightly. The banging overpowered the discussion the two people were having – it was overpowering what I was supposed to be hearing.

"Ms. Swan!" A voice yelled over the knocking. "Ms. Swan!"

_What the . . ._

"I know you're in there, young lady! Don't ignore me!"

My eyes fluttered open and my body stiff. The beating wasn't ringing in my ears; it sounded like it was coming from my front door. I threw the covers off of my body and ran to the door. It was difficult however, since I had to find my way out of the fort.

"Ms. Swan, answer your door right now!"

I turned the knob and opened the door. I rubbed my eyes of sleepiness so I was able to see who woke me up from an important dream. It was Mrs. Davies – my neighbor – on my doorstep and holding my mail.

"Sorry, Mrs. Davies. I was sleeping. Did the guy put my mail in your mailbox again?"

"That mailman is a failure at his job," She handed me my mail and smiled. "You were still asleep? It's already one in the afternoon!"

I had to laugh at her shocked expression, I told her once that young people these days liked to sleep in, but she still didn't believe it. I would hear her next-door shuffling around at six in the morning.

"Well thanks, Mrs. Davies for dropping off my mail. I expect you'll be giving the mailman another angry phone call, am I right?"

She chuckled, showing her laugh lines. "Oh yes. If he thought I was angry before, he better brace for what is going to be coming out my mouth now. Goodbye, Ms. Swan." I waved at her and shut the door, yawning one last time.

When I looked at the door again, I noticed a note taped on it. Why I didn't notice it before was beyond me.

_Bella,_

_ I woke up at 10 and you were still sleeping like the dead. I would have waited for you but Em texted me and said he missed me. Don't worry, we'll continue our marathon later and Ali will come._

_Rose._

On one hand, I felt like a horrible host, and on the other I couldn't forget about how I was interrupted from my dream. I barely even remembered it, which was weird. It was probably because I didn't finish it like I was supposed to. I had to shake my head to rid myself of my thoughts and move on with my day.

As I walked back to my room I flipped through the huge pile of mail that I had. All of it was junk mail – Pizza 73, Cable Companies, Phone Companies, Banks and one other that was completely different. In fact, it wasn't even junk mail. It was a legitimate letter in a cream colored envelope. When I looked in the top right corner of the envelope to see whom it was from, I groaned.

_Bella,_

_ I understand why you're angry with me, but please don't exclude me out of your life. You have to look at it from my perspective. I was already clueless as a mother when it came to a child, but think about having a child with supernatural abilities. I didn't know what to do or what to say. Anything I did always upset you or somehow insulted you, but please know it wasn't intentional. You're my daughter and I love you. Please reply to me soon, I can't stand knowing you despise me._

_Your mother, Renee_

Unbelievable, she didn't even know why I was upset with her. She couldn't be _that_ dense.

I ripped the letter in half. I knew she would eventually turn to to hand written letters when she figured out I didn't reply to her e-mails - if she knew deleted her off my contact list, I had no idea. My anger had risen and I threw the two pieces of paper in the trash and stomped my foot, something I only saw in cheap movies. I paced around the room and took in deep breaths – I didn't want to go back to the hospital for fainting from uncontrolled anger.

I couldn't hold it in; I had to let it go. "I hate you! You stupid, naïve woman! You have no right to say you love me!" I picked up my pillow and threw it at my wall. "I hope you fall down a cliff and become paralyzed!"

"Whoa. Temper, temper," A voice said.

I looked away from the wall and turned around. I jumped back when I saw a girl around my age with auburn hair and pale skin. She definitely was not Elizabeth, but I did know of the girl.

"I'm going to out on whim here and say you're Allie the Bitch," I sneered. Pissed off was a definite understatement to how I was feeling. I wanted to shoot rock salt at her and make her disappear.

"We don't need to be saying names now. I was never called a bitch back in high school. I was either called a cheerleader, a goody-too shoos and even the pretty one," She said calmly. Her auburn hair was pulled into a ponytail, not like the last time I saw her in person. She was in jeans and a hoody – like she was just going to watch TV all day.

I scoffed. "I think I'll just call you bitch from now on."

"It's up to you," She shrugged. "I'm here to help."

"Help?" I laughed. "I don't know who taught you the definition of 'help' but you have not helped me one bit. I don't need you, anyways. So you can go away."

"I _am_ helping you. I've been warning you."

"I know about your warnings very well. I understand that you still love Edward but get it in your head that we're just friends and I barely know him."

Allie looked confused. "I don't love him."

"Now don't you pull that crap with me. Your little "Stay away from Edward" notes on the wall were pretty clear."

She walked towards me, angrier. "Are you that dim? Did you not read the rest of the letter or the dream or the ketchup on the wall? I said to stay away from him because he will _break your heart_!"

"See, I told you. You are a crazy bitch. Edward's a nice guy – even if we were dating, which we are not, he wouldn't hurt me."

"That's what I believed, too . . . until I found myself cutting my wrists and dying in my room," She said horribly. "So here I am now. You're a nice girl, Bella. All I'm trying to do is save you."

"Well you can leave because I'm not a charity case," I said.

"Please, let me help you. I don't want to see you heartbroken like –"

_Knock. Knock. Knock_. I groaned, how many people wanted to knock on my door? "Who is it?"

"It's Edward!"

I smiled. "Why, Allie it's your lucky day. You're favorite person is here."

She shook her head, her eyes worried. "No, Bella, don't. Don't get close to him!"

Allie followed me and pleaded as I walked through the hallway and towards the door. "I'm sorry. Hopefully I won't see you anytime time soon, Bitch."

"Bella, do not open that door! I mean it!" She yelled.

I shrugged and opened the door, revealing a very tired Edward. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was a bit more tousled than usual, but no one could deny that he still looked good.

"Edward, you look awful. Are you okay?" I inquired.

He nodded his eyes. "I just couldn't sleep last night and I didn't have anything to do today. I know I should have called before coming here but I decided I needed the fresh air."

"It's cool. Come in," Once he was inside, I closed the door behind him and saw him smirking at the fort that was in my living room. "Um, yeah. Rose slept over and we always make a fort."

He burst out laughing and I felt my cheeks redden from embarrassment. "Emmett and I used to do this when were little. I actually haven't been in a fort since I was fifteen."

"Well then, I guess we'll just have to watch TV from inside the fort."

"Sounds good."

"Alright. You can choose what you want to watch while I rearrange the fort and get some popcorn."

We went do our jobs. I opened the side of the fort that was facing the TV. I was glad that Rose and I had set it up so that it was a good distance away from the screen. Once that was done I ran to the kitchen and micro waved some popcorn.

"Get the mop head out of here!" Allie whispered.

I whipped around and sighed. "Will you just go away? Maybe you're _still_ on this planet because you _still_ love Edward. Maybe the only way to move on is to let him go and stop being so paranoid about my relationship with him. We're friends."

"You're friends now, but trust me, it won't always be like that," She stated. "And by the way, I definitely have not moved on because I still love him. I'm far away from love. I just want to –"

_Beep!_

The popcorn was done and I pulled it out and pored it into a bowl. "I'm going to say this as nicely a I can. Please leave my house or I will bitch at you and kick your sorry ass out." I left the kitchen and entered the living room. I was shocked to see what was on the screen.

_Supernatural._

"I can't believe you have Supernatural. Best show alive!" Edward said from under the fort.

I strolled towards him and lay on my stomach like him, setting the popcorn. "And I can't believe that you watch this show. It just doesn't seem like your cup of tea."

"The same goes for you."

Oh, if he only knew what my cup of tea was . . .

*****

"_What do you think, Scully, you want to check it out?"_

"_I'm not Scully, you're Scully."_

"_No I'm Mulder, you're a red-headed woman."_

Edward and I laughed at that particular scene and discussed how Sam was Scully since he was the one always captured by the bad guy. That was the first episode we saw – we were now on our eighth episode. I didn't know what time it was but I figured it was late and our dinner was popcorn and soda.

We always made fun at the parts that weren't supposed to be funny. For some reason, the scary parts weren't so scary when he was around and I felt totally at ease. It wasn't like last night when Rose and I couldn't even leave the living room since we were so scared. If I did get scared I would cover my eyes and place my forehead on Edward's shoulders. He laughed but didn't tease me, like he respected me.

It was nearing midnight when we finished watching that last episode of season three. I walked him to the door and we were still laughing about how the Trickster arranged for Dean to die every Tuesday.

"I had fun, we should do this more often," I said between giggles.

When Edward contained his laughter he replied by saying, "Definitely. Can I just ask you something?" I nodded my head, anxious to hear what he wanted to know. "Earlier today, when you were getting the popcorn I heard you talking to someone. May I know who it was?"

He asked a question that I definitely didn't want him to mention. Damn it, I was such a bad liar. "Um, my friend from Forks called and asked me if I still talked to this guy. I said no and that I haven't seen him since we graduated."

"Oh okay. Well, goodnight, Bells," He said, smiling.

"Goodnight, Edward."

* * *

**MUHAHAHAAA! did i tell you I would update this week or what???? I feel so accomplished now, you don't even know. I was actually supposed to be studying for finals while I was writing this . . . so . . . yeah. Now you know how much I love you. I'm super excited for Semester 2 to begin though. Foods class? In the morning??? Oh yeah ; P**

**I know Supernatural is mentioned a lot on this chapter, but I spent my whole winter break watching seasons 1-4 and that really inspired this chapter. The quotes you see here are could search on youtube for them (I'm sorry, I don't have the link). TEAM DEAN???? YES !**

**Before you all say "God, Bella is such a bitch to Allie", keep in mind that Bella is stubborn and she's pretty pissed off at Allie for scaring Alice and bringing in the real blood.**

**I saw the cover art for the New Moon DVD and I like it a lot better than the Twilight cover. It would be SO much better if Jacob wasn't in it (I don't care if it's Taylor Lautner. Yes, he's good looking but the CHARACTER he plays is disgusting). I'm hoping the DVD will come out around the same time as it did last year.**

**So for Christmas I got a whole bunch of cash (YES!) so I splurged on Boxing Day. Forever 21 . . . is heaven. What did you get for Christmas??? Hopefully some really cool stuff = )**

**Okay, I gotta go sleep because . . . well, because I'm tired haha. REVIEW, MY LOVELY READERS.**

**Don't forget to check my profile to see the songs that inspire each chapter of this song!**

**Karina.**


	10. Chapter 9: Tonight, I'll Walk You Home

Chapter 9: Tonight, I'll Walk You Home

It had been a month since I'd last seen or sensed Allie, and for that I was glad. Maybe it was because of the threat I gave her, or maybe she had finally moved on – I had no idea. It didn't matter to me, however, because I was too busy with what was going on in my own life.

Jasper and Emmett decided to build me a shelf for all of my research, I constantly told them that they didn't have to since I didn't really care whether or not my research on the ghosts I saw were organized. However, since Emmett was such a neat freak and Jasper liked to build things, they convinced me. It took them about three days to get it perfectly right because they didn't want to do a half-assed job. In the end it did look very well made, professional even.

Edward and I continued to have our movie nights – which was every Friday night – and I'm pretty sure that he was becoming one of my best friends. Everyone in the gang was my best friend, but it was so easy with Edward whereas the others all needed to be addressed to differently. The only setback in this was that while the others knew about my secret, Edward didn't. I wanted to tell him but at the same time, I didn't. I just didn't know how he would react to me, especially after all that he had been through in his past.

The majority of the month was taken to helping Alice with her masquerade ball. We all helped her out. While Edward, Emmett and Jasper set up the stage and all the technology based objects us girls did the decorations. Alice was stressed, to say the least and we all did what we could to calm her down. After each massage and foot rub and hot chocolate, she was still anxious to get back up and head to the suite. I figured that the only way for Alice to relax was when the masquerade was finally over, and luckily that was tonight.

I slipped on the long, black number that we girls had chosen – the very same dress I was in when I first saw Allie. For a few moments, all that was going through my mind was the pain and how everything was more exaggerate. I remembered the malicious look on Allie's face when she demanded I stay away from Edward, and how different it was from the last time I saw her. When she addressed me a month ago, she seemed to be a little less freaky and, I hate to say it, kind. Her personality changes were nerve-racking, and I didn't know which ego to trust. Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde?

I blinked severally. I needed to focus on the masquerade, not the Bitch from Hell.

At first, I was going to straighten my hair but decided to just leave it in its loose curl state. However, I had to pin half of it up because, frankly, there was just too much volume for anyone to handle. It was finally time for the mask, and I was excited. The black, sparkly mask gave a bit of mystery, and I felt like a totally different me. Where normal Bella was quiet and slightly awkward – not to mention she saw ghosts – this Bella was confident and smitten. She was secretive, sexy even.

"Oh, Bella. You look magnificent!"

I turned around and there stood Elizabeth. She was still in her same yellow dress and I wondered how Allie was able to change from her silky green dress to a hoodie.

"Elizabeth," I said. "How are you? It's a while."

"I'm as well as a dead person can be," She chuckled. "I'm aware it's been a while but I've felt like you didn't need my help with Edward – you're doing so well on your own." The look in her eyes showed she was hiding something, but I wasn't going to press on it.

"Thanks, I guess. I'll be seeing him tonight at the ball. Or rather I know he'll be there, I just don't know which man behind the mask will be him."

Elizabeth smiled. "I'm just glad he's finally going to formal party. You know, the last time he attended something like this was just the week before his father died? Edward Sr. always loved it; he said that he felt classier when he went. And of course like father like son, Edward liked going too. But after he died he just . . ."

" . . . Felt like going to another one would be more painful?"

"Yes, actually. You see - you are getting to know him well."

"I would I'd feel the same way if that happened to me," I replied. "Oh, Elizabeth, how come Allie was able to change clothes when she died in her prom dress?"

"It all has to do with the personality of the ghost," She said, smiling. "I don't change my dress because I remember I wanted to die in my prettiest piece of clothing. Allie might change because the dress reminds her of . . . that night."

It made sense to me – Allie changed because every time she wore that dress it reminded her of how her love for Edward wasn't returned and she couldn't stand it. I felt a pang of sympathy for the girl, even though I still thought she was a bitch.

"I see," I nodded. "So are you going to the masquerade tonight?" It was a silly question to ask since no one but me would see her, but I wanted to know if she would like to see Edward at a ball again.

She shook her head. "No, not tonight. Like Edward, I'm not going because it reminds me too much of my husband. Also, tonight is his first formal in a long time and I know if I attend he'll tense up and feel strange."

"I have another question, Elizabeth."

"Yes, dear?"

"I've never really seen someone who can feel a ghost's presence like Edward. Does he have, um . . .?"

"No," She said. "He can just sense me because he's still torn up about what happened and in a way feels as though he's connected to it."

That made sense, too. "Well, that makes things a bit more difficult."

She chuckled. "Nothing is ever easy when it comes to Edward," I watched as Elizabeth's eyes glance away, looking sad – almost like she was thinking of something when she was alive. "Um, you should be heading to the masquerade now."

I nodded. "I guess. You know since I'm helping you, you don't have to be afraid to tell me things."  
"I know, dear. But right now it's too painful. When the time is right, I will be uninvitingly in front of you."

"You're always welcome, Elizabeth."

She didn't reply, only a slight smile and then she was gone.

*****

The room was packed; well, not literally packed, but many people were there socializing, drinking and dancing. I found myself in the corner of the room observing the party. This was how awkward Bella was – socially deprived. The dress did look elegant; I just didn't know how to put myself out there with strangers behind a mask.

I knew it was Rosalie and Emmet laughing beside the table because let's face it, Emmett's size and Rose's perfect body was too recognizable. When I saw little Alice dancing to the music, I wasn't surprised. I also wasn't surprised to see Jasper with her – he hardly ever left her side. And here I was, all alone once again. I definitely was a third wheel, or maybe fifth wheel in this situation

Maybe a drink was what I needed, a nice glass of champagne should make me feel better. I honestly didn't know why I felt so low. It might have been because my friends were already paired up and I wasn't. It could have been because without them I was just Bella – the lame one.

_This is not helping my self-esteem_, I thought to myself, _try to talk to someone at the champagne table._

That was a good thought; I had no idea why I didn't do that an hour and a half ago. The table was covered with beautiful silver trays that carried tall, thin glasses of light colored champagne. One waiter grabbed a tray and walked towards me. He had on a white mask and his hair was slicked back – oh so attractive.

"Excuse me, miss," He said. "Would you like a glass?"

I took a glass from the tray. "Yes, I would. Thank you." He nodded his head at me and continued his way through the crowd.

Well, so much for talking to someone at the champagne table.

I took a small sip from the glass when I felt a light tap on my shoulder. "Miss, I couldn't help but notice that you are here all alone," the man said behind me in a deep, sultry voice.

I laughed. "I didn't come alone. My friends are here somewhere with their special other," I turned around and saw a tall man with a black suit and tie. His mask was also black, contrasting with his pale skin. When I saw the mess of copper colored hair, I immediately knew who it was. "Edward?"

He cocked his head to the side. "How do you know my name?"

_Oh my God, does he not recognize me? Just play it cool, Bella._

I slightly smiled. "I have my sources," I said, trying to sound sly. Hopefully he would believe it.

"Then you have very accurate sources – I am Edward," He chuckled. "And your name, miss?"

Should I tell him who I am? My good judgment told me I should, but the dress was telling me to not be open book. I sighed. Tonight, Mysterious Bella would have her way. "Now, Mr. Cullen, you are aware this is a masquerade. If I tell you my name, that would omit the whole purpose of this event."

Edward smirked. "Alright. Why don't you take a walk with me, then? You're more exciting than this party, which means a lot."

I blushed. "That sounds . . . brilliant."

Edward took my gloved hand and led me out the doors to the garden. There were lights on the trees and on the pathway, creating a subtle glow to the night. Some other couple were out here as well but were dancing to the music coming from inside. Some were also kissing.

Oh no. I hope Edward didn't take me out here so we could make out. We were just friends and that could completely ruin our friendship. Not to mention how awkward it would be for Emmett. Shit! Should I just lie and say I needed to go to the bathroom or –

Wait, Edward didn't know it was I under the mask and if I knew him as well as I thought I did, he wouldn't hook up with someone he just met. Edward looked down at me with a slight smile on his face as he led me towards a bench under a tall tree. I sat down, being careful I wasn't stepping on my dress. The moment was quiet and I didn't know what to say. I thought about the first time I saw Elizabeth under that willow tree, how people who'd never seen what I did would have been freaked out of their minds. However, the topic had nothing to do with Edward being beside me, and how tongue-tied I was.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked.

"I was thinking about how the night scares people, how people would run away screaming, crying even," I sighed. "The night isn't scary, it's beautiful. When we see something strange it shouldn't be fearful, it should be wondrous."

"So if a ghost was trying to kill you when you're walking alone at night, it should be fascinating?" He teased.

I shook my head. "I meant that we shouldn't fear the dark and face the things that scare us. Most likely the ghost isn't trying to kill you – it only wants your help."

"That's insightful. But you know, even the brave depend on someone."

I laughed. "You think I'm brave?"

"You seem like you are."

"Trust me, Edward. I'm the farthest thing from being brave."

"You just don't see yourself clearly," He said. "I find that admirable, not knowing how amazing you are. It reminds me of this girl I know."

"Oh, really?"

He nodded. "Yeah. She's fantastic – kind, generous and knows when to listen. She's a lot of fun, too. Not to mention she's beautiful."

What? Who is this chick? "Is there any chance I get to know the name of this girl?"

"Only if you tell me _your_ name."

"Oh well, I guess I'll never know," I said, but I actually wanted to know. I was his friend – he could trust me. Of course, I couldn't tell him that since he doesn't actually know that I'm Bella.

About six feet away, I saw a girl standing there with a blue dress on with a matching blue mask. Her hair was long and wasn't tied up. Her hair was also reddish-brown.

"Shit," I whispered.

"Excuse me?" Edward said.

I blushed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that. I was thinking out loud," She was still looking at me and I stood up. We needed to talk if she was showing up now after all this time. "It was nice talking to you, Edward. But I think it's time fore me to call it a night." Since I was being Mysterious Bella, I bent down and kissed him slightly on the cheek before walking away.

"Wait!" he yelled as I took one more step. "Will I ever see you again?"

I turned my heel and smiled. "We'll just have to wait and see, won't we?"

*****

When I got home, I took off the mask and gloves, setting them nicely on the table.

"Allie!" I bellowed. "Come out!"

No answer.

"Show yourself, you bitch! You wanted to see me? Well now is the time!"

"Calm down, CinderBella, your fairy godmother has arrived," I turned. Why was it that ghosts had to show up _behind_ me? "It was a nice party, wasn't it?"

"It was until you arrived," I replied. "You haven't shown up in a month and all of a sudden you pop up, stalking Edward and I? You're such a freak."

"I hadn't come back because you said you were only friends, and I started believe you when nothing had happened between you two. Until tonight, anyway."

I was taken aback. "What are you talking about? Edward didn't even know it was me."

"I wasn't talking about Mop Head," She said. "I'm here because of you."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

She groaned. "Are you that oblivious to everything, Bella? Did you not even sense your own jealousy when he talked about that girl?"

I scoffed. "I was not jealous."

"So you _are_ oblivious. Okay when you finally realize what's going on, give me a shout."

"Allie, wait, don't leave! I have no idea what you're talking about!" I yelled, but it was pointless. She already dissolved. "Son of a bitch!" I grabbed my things and stomped my way to the bedroom.

An hour or two had passed since Allie had been here and I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, still trying to figure out what she was saying. She told me that I wasn't aware of my jealousy. How could she know that? She's psycho!

I then thought about Edward talking about that girl and how he was probably dreaming about her right now. Who was she though? Was she a model or a girl he works with at Starbucks? Maybe she was a classmate of his. Maybe it was a girl back in Chicago. What if it was –?

Holy crap, I was anxious. I was anxious to know who this girl was and was jealous of her for being on Edward's mind. This was probably what Allie was talking about earlier. But this still didn't prove that Edward and I were more than friends because obviously, his heart belonged to someone else.

Oh. _No_.

I have a crush on Edward. No fucking way! This can't happen – I'm supposed to help him, not fall for him. Elizabeth would blow my brains if she figured this out. I needed to stop this. I had to avoid Edward, only for a little bit. Only until my feelings for him have been rid from my body.

* * *

**How amazing am I, you guys? I updated the day after the preview! I feel SO SUPER DUPER ACCOMPLISHED! A bit more Edward and Bella, even though Edward doesn't know it's her. Also, Bella realizes that she has a little crush on Eddie Boy. AWE! It's like third grade all over again . . . JOKING! Oh, _who do you think the girl is Edward is talking about?_ It could be anyone =)**

**Btw, everyone who is watching Vampire Diaries - how _stoked_ are you for the next episode??? i heard the tomb will be opened. We'll just have to wait and see!**

**I now have _TUMBLR_ and _TWITTER_ - people have been asking for me to get the two so I was like "sure, why not?". So check it out! It's on my profile.**

**I also made A _TRAILER_ for this this fic - also on my profile.**

**Once again, on my profile is the _PLAYLIST_ for this fic. If you want to know what songs inspire me, check it ;)**

**_Review_, my lovely readers. If you review it can be like a _birthday present_ for me (I'm turning 15 on the 15th. Royal birthday =) does anyone still say that??? haha) I'll be halfway to 30 . . . damn.**


	11. Chapter 10: Proven

Chapter 10: Proven The Horrible Way

"Hey, Bells – It's Edward! I just wanted to know if you were up to having lunch? Class was so boring and I need to wake up. Call me!"

"Bells, it's Edward. I haven't seen you in a while and I don't know if movie night is still on. If it is, give me a call. Bye."

"Hey, it's Edward. Do you want to hang out tonight? The gang is kind of pairing up and having their date night so I thought we could just chill. All right, just let me know."

"It's Edward. Are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong? I didn't see you at the masquerade. Wait, is that why you're mad? Bells, it was a freaking masquerade! How could I have known which mask was yours? Just . . . call me."

"So I went over the last voicemail I left, which was two weeks ago, and I figured that you wouldn't be mad for something like that. Look, Bella, whatever I did I truly am sorry. Come on. You're the only person I can talk to. Just tell me what I did wrong; I'll make it better. Goodbye."

"If you want to save this message, dial 9. If you want to delete this message, dial 7."

_7._

Edward had left me numerous of messages since the masquerade, since the night I figured out my feelings. God, I was such a push over. If Edward wasn't so good looking and possibly the most sincere guy I had ever met, this would never had happened. I was pretty much fucked to say the least. I couldn't see him, I knew myself and if I saw him then I wouldn't control myself. I would probably flirt. But hanging out with him and letting my feelings grow sounded more appealing than what I was doing now – sitting on the couch, watching season four of _Supernatural_ and feeling guilt for ignoring Edward.

Elizabeth hadn't been here since the night of the masquerade. I didn't know if it was because she knew about my crush on Edward or that it was because I was sitting like a lazy ass instead of helping her son. Maybe both? A part of me was disappointed because I thought she would comfort me like she usually did and would say something along the lines of "Honey, it's okay. You're a girl – it's only natural to like a guy." But she wasn't here, and the other part of me was glad.

With that being said, Allie hadn't shown up either. She told me to give her a shout when I figured it out, but I wasn't going to. If she hadn't told me I was jealous and made me think about it, Edward would be sitting here with me as I watched Sam and Dean kick ass. Just as friends. But then again, if she hadn't told me that I would have never known. I would have been living in denial for who knows how long. Either way, I wasn't going to call her. She could screw off and mourn on the planet for the rest of her life for all I cared.

_Ring. Ring. Ring._ I looked at the caller ID and sighed. It was Edward.

_Hi you've reached Bella Swan. I'm not here at the moment so leave a message!_

"Come on, Bells, please answer your phone – I know you're home." He sighed, probably rubbing his face with his hand. "Let me know what I did wrong, I can't stand that you're mad at me . . .

. . . If you're never going to talk to me again, just stay safe okay? Watch where you're walking and hold onto the banister when you're going down the stairs. Try to not burn yourself. I don't want you to get hurt if I'm not there. So yeah, I guess that's it. G'night, Bella."

_Beep._

He had to make things so much harder for me, didn't he? But then again, I probably wasn't making things any easier for him. However, this was the only way. I had to gather myself before helping him again and when he was better and Elizabeth moved on, things would get better.

It was a couple hours later, and I didn't eat any supper. My stomach growled but I didn't feel the need to get off the couch. The room was dark and my hand didn't want to turn on the lamp that was on the table beside me. I'd seen this episode of _Supernatural_ too many times, but I didn't change it because this was where Edward and I had left off. If I moved on without him he would have been pissed. This show was our thing. I honestly had no idea why I was even playing this. God, I was so stupid.

"Each and every time I see you, Bella, you always seem to make things more difficult."

Once again, the ghost just had to show behind me.

"You know, Allie. You are the one that started this. If it wasn't for you I would be out there with Edward and I could help Elizabeth. We would still be just friends and wouldn't look at it as anything more. So if you're going to say, "Don't blame me", well too god damn bad. Because I blame you."

Allie sighed and gave a sympathetic smile. "I'm not going to disagree with you, it is my bad. I hate Edward with all of my being but you, I don't mind. I'm not going to let the ginger douche bag ruin your life, Bella. You deserve more. But if right now he's the one who "understands you", than I'm not going to stop you."

"Hold up," I said. "Are you actually saying that you want Edward and I to hang out?"

"Obviously."

"But I can't. I like him and if I hang out with him I'm going to like him more and it could potentially ruin the point of helping him with recovering over his past."

Allie sat down beside me. "Okay first off, you over think too much. Secondly, who gives a crap? You don't have to tell Edward you like him, hell, he probably wouldn't even know you're flirting with him. Actually, _you_ wouldn't even know you're flirting with him."

"Fine. I'll call him tomorrow and – "

"Tomorrow? Hell no! Grab your coat and head out that door," She grabbed my coat and threw it at me. "Okay, are we ready to go?"

"What do you mean, _we_?"

"Like I said, I actually think you're nice and I don't want you to flake out. So suck it up and don't even try to get rid of me."

"Bitch," I mumbled.

She rolled her eyes. "I love you, too."

*

Allie complained throughout the whole time we were on the subway, saying that it was dirty and full of drug and alcohol addicts – the only people on the subway during this time were office workers and teenagers. She must have been some sort of rich ass kid growing up. And because I couldn't talk to her without people staring at me like I was insane, I had to type on my phone.

_Calm down, Allie, we get off at the next stop._

"Thank effing God! Someone should really spray some _Febreeze _here."

_No comment._

"Don't judge me, I grew up with limos – not the . . . subway? Is that what it's called?"

_Once again: no comment._

We got off and ran up the stairs. Allie really didn't have to run so she just appeared at the top. However, she did run with me on our way to Edward's luxury apartment. As we passed the Starbuck's he worked at, I remembered the last time we were there and all the lattes we had. Edward and I were so shaky from the caffeine that in a weird way, it was fun. I glanced away and focused on the present.

Every time I visited Edward's apartment, I was stunned by how expensive it looked. Edward completely fit in this sort of scene, and I wasn't going to lie that it was because of his movie star looks and his impeccable style. And there it was again – the part of my brain that was labeled "Bella's Hormones" was taking over my thoughts.

"Hurry up!" Allie hollered.

_Well I'm sorry that not all of us can just disappear and reappear when we get tired_, I thought.

"Hi, Harry," I greeted as he opened the door for me.

"In a rush, Ms. Swan?" The short blond man asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. I'll see you later!" The elevator doors wouldn't open fast enough – I needed to make things better now. He was my friend and I obviously wasn't being a very good one to him.

_Ding!_

I stepped inside and pressed the button. Allie was now beside me and she tapped her foot impatiently. "Look, Allie. I know I've said some really horrible things to you, but I just want to say I apologize. I was just angry, you know?"

She nodded. "I understand. I was trying to communicate with you and I wasn't doing it the right way."

"No shit," I said.

"I really don't know why a girl like you would have a crush on Edward. You deserve so much more."

"To be honest, I don't know why I like him since he would never feel the same way for a girl like me."

"No, Bella, don't think like that. You're a beautiful girl with a shining personality. He's just not up to par with you." The doors opened to the hallway and I stepped out.

Allie was going to follow but I shook my head. "I should do this alone. Thank for everything, though."

"No problem," she said. "I'll be waiting for you, okay?" I nodded and dashed down the hall. By this time, I was in desperate need of water and probably needed a glass before I apologized to Edward.

My heart felt a little lighter each step I took. It felt like I hadn't seen Edward in years, when in reality it was only three weeks. But just when I was about to knock on the door, things started to go wrong. First off the door was open just a crack. I could hear mumbling.

"Do you want anything, Jess? Maybe some bread and water?" Edward asked politely.

"All I want is you," She sang. I couldn't define who the girl was, but she already sounded like a slut to me.

Edward cleared his throat and ignored her comment. "Bread and water it is."

"You need to relax," She said softly.

"Oh really?" he retorted. "Well, I can't, Jess. Bella is mad at me and I don't know why. Not to mention you're – "

The girl, Jess, shut him up by putting her finger on his lips. "Honey, I can help you relax. Just guide me."

Through the crack I saw a petite girl with brown ringlet's slide over on top of Edward. She started to kiss him and he was still, letting her do whatever she wanted with him. by accident, I leaned too forward and opened the door. The girl broke from the kiss and I could feel her glare at me with her hazel eyes. Edward stared at me with shocked eyes and the tears started to form in mine.

"Bella?" He asked. I didn't reply, since it was a rhetorical question. "What are you doing here?"

"Leaving," I muttered as I ran away, wiping the tears out of my eyes.

"Bella!" I heard Edward yell as I raced down the hall.

Luckily the elevator came quickly and I went in before Edward caught me. I leaned against the wall, looking up at the mirrors on the ceiling. I remembered how when I was little that I always had been afraid of mirrors on the ceiling because one of Them could pop out of nowhere. Now, I just stared and didn't really care who showed up – I was too upset.

Edward was with another girl – and yes I was jealous – but he let that girl make out with him. What hurt the most was that he didn't even tell me he was in a relationship. He claimed that I was the one he could trust his secrets with and was the one he would go to for advice since I always listened. Well, if I was such a loyal friend and knew how to listen, why didn't he tell me this?

_Maybe because he lied to you._

At least now I knew whom he was talking about at the masquerade. I didn't know what to expect when he told me. I wanted to believe that he was talking about me, but now I realized that it was the curly headed chick. It was pathetic really, even having a slight feeling for someone like Edward. He was tall with gorgeous green eyes and perfectly tousled hair. He had an infectious laugh and came from a wealthy family. I, on the other hand, was too average with my pale skin and my brown hair and eyes. I was short and slim. I wasn't rich – My mom was just getting by back in Phoenix and my dad was the chief of police in Forks. Not the best pay. He was way out of my league; and I was stupid for even letting myself fall for him.

People on the streets gave me sympathetic smiles when they saw the water in my eyes and the droplets racing down my cheeks. I simply looked away from them, I didn't need their sympathy. What I needed was to be alone. On the subway, this elderly woman tried to comfort me by handing my tissues and asking if I needed anything.

"Dear, are you sure you're okay?" She asked. "A pretty girl like you shouldn't be crying so late at night."

I shrugged. "A girl like me needs to be put in a dark hole and never come out."

"What? That's crazy talk."

"Miss, if you knew me, you would know that I am familiar to insanity," I said.

The subway stopped. "Well, this is my stop. Have a good night, dear. I'll pray for you tonight." I didn't reply, I watched her clutch her purse as she walked away and into the halls of the station.

When I reached the top of the stairs, the wind had picked up a little and as soon as I stepped inside the building, I felt warmth. The lights then started to flicker and dim before it became cold once again. Someone was here, and I knew just who it was.

"So, how did it go?" Allie asked as I entered the room and locked the door. I walked passed her and began to fold the blankets I was using earlier on the couch. "Bella, what's wrong?"

I scoffed. "Like you wouldn't know."

"I don't actually."

I dropped the blankets and turned around with both hands on my hips. "Edward was with another girl and they were in the middle of something. I know you wanted to prove he would break my heart and guess what – you proved me wrong! Congrats! Sorry, no trophy."

Allie looked shocked. "He . . . what?"

"Don't look so surprised. I can see through your pretenses so stop acting."

"Bella, I swear I didn't know anything about that. I wouldn't have told you to talk to him if I knew what was going on. I would have told you and broken it down to you."

"Yeah, right," I said monotonously.

"You have to trust me on this. I'm not that kind of person I just wanted to – "

"You know what, Allie?" I said, cutting her off. "I don't really give a shit who you are. I just want you to go away and hopefully never show up again."

Allie stared at me, not saying anything for a bit. "Okay, I'll go." She whispered finally.

When she disappeared and I was left looking at the bland white walls I started to break down. "Just leave me alone. Just leave me alone. Just . . . please, leave me alone."

* * *

**OMG YOU GUYS I FEEL SO ACCOMPLISHED! I UPDATED TWICE IN THE SAME MONTH? ARE YOU PROUD OF ME?**

**Okay, I've calmed down a bit. But seriously, I usually take forever to write but since my friend dropped my off at home earlier than expected, i had time to write. After watching the Vancouver Olympics Opening Ceremony (amazing ceremony. TEAM CANADA), I was able to edit and such. It's weird - the sad, more dramatic chapters always are te ones I'm most inspired to write. I guess it's because I think of all these clever things for my characters to say. Like you know when after an argument, you suddenly think of all the clever things you should have said (I joined that group on facebook haha)? Well, yeah. I had time to write, might s well give them smart things to say to each other.**

**I know Bella is like "what the heall are you doing here?" to "Allie thanks so much," to "you bitch. get out", but this is just a really emotional night for Bella. If I was Bella, I woul have acted the same way.**

**And I know people are going to be like 'HOLY SHIT EDWARD'S A MAN HOE!" but, I'm not going to give anything. Guess in a review.**

**I have a few reviews telling me how they feel sorry for Allie and I'm actually shocked. I was expecting people to despise her and to leave Bella alone, but I'm glad with the reception she's getting. I love Allie, even though she is naive. She does have a heart you guys. But . . . well, you'll see (=**

**Like I said, the playlist for this chapter is on my profile. But I'm going to start by _also_ putting the song on each chapter and explaining it so people can understand why I chose that song and how it inspired me. This chapter's song is **_Dare You To Move by Switchfoot_**. The lyrics that insired me were:**

_I dare you to move_

_I dare you to life yourself up off the floor_

_I dare you to move_

_Like today never happened_

_Today never happened before_

**Now, these lyrics inspired me because it made me think of Bella and Allie. Allie is telling Bella to get over herself and make up with Edward. To act like they're still friends so Elizabeth could move on and Bella wouldn't be so emo.**

**Okay. This is a really long author's note. Sigh. Kay, we'll I'm going to bed. It's already one in the morning and this chick needs her sleep.**

**Bye guys, and REVIEW PLEASE. I LOVE YOUR FEEDBACK.**

**Karina**


	12. Chapter 11: Scattered

_I've been loosing my mind  
I've been living a lie  
I've been running away for so long  
I try to put on a face  
And cover my heart  
But I'm needing it now so bad_

I don't know how I feel  
Maybe I'm mad, or maybe I'm proud  
Can't find the truth, can't speak my mind  
Don't know what I say, I'm just thinking out loud  
Thinking out loud

_**- Thinking Out Loud - Lesley Roy**_

* * *

_**  
**_

Chapter 11: Scattered

Everything I did in the last month was a play in motion – it was like I wasn't even in my own body. Everyday I would wake up and get ready, following with some toast and a coffee. Every Monday, Tuesday and Friday I had class and each class I processed almost nothing. I would go to the bookstore, get some groceries and do my homework. I'd meet up with Alice and Rose but would avoid going to any Starbucks. I was responsive to everything, however the only thing going through my mind was what happened the night I saw Edward with that girl.

It played like a nightmare. Edward would run his hand through her messy, tight curls and she would laugh as he kissed along her jaw. They would look into each other's eyes and it seemed like the only thing he ever wanted in the world was her, that . . . slut. The tears would form in my eyes as they began to kiss passionately and I would tell myself to leave, to run away. Except, my feet were almost glued to the floor and my heart broke into millions of pieces that were too small and shattered to put back together. Edward would then notice me and smile. It was more like a smirk, and then he would begin to kiss her again. The door would close and everything would go black.

And then the horrid dream would start all over again.

I remembered when my first boyfriend, Mike, and I dated for two years. He made me smile and would treat me right; it felt nice. At the time, I had just moved to Forks and Renee let me go with only a slight goodbye and half smile. I felt abandoned and since Charlie was barely ever home because of work, I was lonely. Mike made me happy and when he broke up with me for Lauren Mallory it was almost like my heart ached. Like, everything he said to me had lost all meaning.

But this time was different. It wasn't a hole in my heart – it was just smashed and lost. It didn't ache – it was numb. _I _was numb. This time it was so much more painful and I didn't even know why. I only had a slight crush on Edward and it broke me down even more than my longer lasting relationship with Ass Wipe Mike.

Maybe it was because this time I actually believed that Edward wouldn't hurt me. That he was an honest, genuine man. Of course that was all just a lie. I was just too naïve to realize it.

_Get off your ass, Bella. You're becoming a couch potato._

My stomach growled, and it occurred to me that I hadn't eaten since yesterday morning. I was weak and my body shook as I slowly got off the couch I had been hibernating it. As I wiped a tear from my cheek I caught sight of my wrist, which was so unbelievably tiny. I had always been slim, but never disgustingly skinny.

_Eat something – you're becoming anorexic._

All that was left in my fridge was some yogurt since I hadn't been in the mood to make some home cooked meals. I decided that it was better than nothing and almost swallowed it whole. It slid through my dry throat like cement – thick and heavy. After a few blueberry yogurts, I noticed how messy my apartment was.

My God. I haven't been on that couch for that long, have I?

I groaned and slugged towards the counter where a big pile of mail had been thrown. It dawned on me that the only one that wasn't junk mail was a floral envelope with neat calligraphy. I knew who it was from immediately and opened it. I was already in pain; there was no reason not to open the goddamn letter.

_Isabella Swan,_

_ Sweetie, I've figured that you won't write me letters so I decided that I would write to you without expecting a response. I want to include my daughter in my life, even if you don't feel the same way._

_ Well, to start things off, Phil and I are moving to Florida – Jacksonville to be exact. We're heading there in early May so I have been packing like crazy. Phil says hi, by the way. He says he misses your logical sense since I seem to have none. Isn't that insane? Phil and his humor, I bet you missed that. At least . . . I hope you missed that._

_ I have been taking cooking classes. I know you've been telling me to attend for a few years so about three months ago I said, "What the heck? If Bella thinks I should, then I should do it!" I've been doing really well and I've learned that my experiments were horrible; I really should have been doing normal recipes so that you wouldn't have to take over the kitchen. But hey, at least you'll be able to tell your friends that your mother isn't so boring!_

_ So I was talking to Charlie a few days ago and he told me you haven't been talking to him in a while, either. Now . . . I know I said that I don't expect a response, but think of this as a rhetorical question. Honey, Why won't you speak to us? We both miss you so, so much! I 'm aware that you didn't have two happily married parents with you but you were able to live with both of us during different times. That's certainly enough, isn't it?_

_ And, I guess that's it. I'll be writing another one next month in hopes that you're doing well._

_ Love You Always,_

_ Renee._

Like every letter Renee sent me, I threw it in the trash after I read it. She was right; I wasn't going to send her a reply and I was relieved knowing she wasn't going to check the mailbox everyday for my response. Renee was still my mother and I did want to know how she was doing, but I just didn't know if she really meant what she said. She probably only wrote that she wanted to hear from me as a cover to show her nervousness and how much I scare her. I did, after all, over hear her.

Renee did have Phil now, and I knew that he would look after her with all of his heart. She didn't need me there to clean the house and cook the meals. She was doing well now and my letters would be miniscule to her, no matter how much she lied about saying it would mean so much.

When it came to lying Renee truly was much better at it than I was. I got the bad lying gene from Charlie, and I was sure she thought I was also gullible because of him. Except I wasn't gullible, she was just too into her assumptions to realize. She also was too busy being proud of herself for "not-letting-Bella-know-I'm-scared-of-her" deal all those years ago. Her pride got in the way of her observations. I still remembered that day – crystal clear. I never talked about it to anyone. Only Charlie knew, and we hadn't mentioned it since I told him in the beginning of sophomore year.

"I just don't know, Phil!" Renee said, "She's unhappy here, I can tell. She needs a fresh start – she needs to get things back in order." I always cringed when Renee lied to Phil. They were a married couple and here she was lying to her husband about his stepdaughter. She was _shameless._

"Ren, Bella seems fine. It's you that's going ballistic. While Bella is doing her research for papers, you're down here in the kitchen getting yourself drunk. Who has to clean the mess up? She does, Ren. I come home and you're already in bed passed out. So don't tell me that she needs to get things organized while you're drinking yourself away," Phil said.

She shook her head. "Do you know what goes on in this house when you're at work or playing baseball? Do you know what I've gone through? What _Bella _has gone through?" She inquired while droplets of water were racing down her cheeks. "She doesn't want my help! I've failed as a mother and now I don't have any control of her. She's beginning to do drugs, Phil, did you know that? She hanging out with the worst kids . . ."

I slipped away to my room; I didn't want to hear anymore of her lies. Renee always had problems with what I could see. She would constantly say that my eyes weren't normal; they didn't see the right things. And now, she was using that to get rid of me because she didn't know how to live with who I was. My own mother wanted to abandon me and leave me in Forks with Charlie.

The door creaked open and I looked up. Renee wiped some of the tears and smiled half-heartedly. "Hi, sweetie. So I guess you heard the yelling, huh?" I didn't answer her; it was a stupid question. "Phil and I have decided that you should move to Forks. You know, see your dad again and make new friends?"

"You mean friends that haven't died yet?" I replied harshly.

"Oh, honey, no that's not what I meant . . ."

"Yes it is!" I snapped. "It's been fifteen years and you still can't get over the fact that I'm different. You know, there are gay people at my school and their mother's have accepted them. Why is it so hard for you? I see dead people, so what? It's not like I'm emo or Goth or anything like that."

Renee moved closer to me. "Bella I love you. I just want what's best for you."

"That's complete bull. You just don't know how to live with your freak daughter."

"Isabella –"

"Just, don't talk to me okay? I have nothing else to say to you," I stated. With that, I grabbed the suitcase out of my closet and began to pack. Renee watched me, and after a few minutes she left and closed the door behind her without saying another word.

That was how I saw Renee now – not my mother, but a form of betrayal. Sort of like the way Edward betrayed me. He betrayed my trust and he cut me deeper than my first breakup and my ruined relationship with my mother. He had so much impact on me and I didn't even know why. I only knew him for a few months yet here I was grieving over him.

I walked over to my laptop and searched the Internet. was a beautiful site, and it saved me time from flipping through all the pages of a normal dictionary. It was fast when it came to the word I was looking for.

_Pathetic: causing or evoking pity, sympathetic sadness, sorrow, etc; pitiful; pitiable._

Found it.

*

_Buzz. Buzz. Buzz._

"What the -?" I pulled my head out of the covers to hear my cell phone buzzing. I groaned and picked up. "Hello?"

"Bella? You sound like hell," Said a perky voice I knew that belonged to Alice.

"Why are you calling me so early in the morning?"

"It's ten o'clock. You need to wake up. We're going to have a girls day – you, Rose and I."

"Al, I really don't think today's a good –"

"It's a fantastic day and us three haven't gone out together in such a long time! So I'm only gong to say this once: Get your ass out of bed and be ready in an hour. We'll be waiting for you in the car and if you're more than fifteen minutes late I will barge in. Don't think I'm joking either. I know where you keep your spare key."

"Alice, really . . . maybe another time we could –" _click._ "Hello? Are you still there?"

God damn it.

My appearance lately consisted of sweats, a big shirt, no make up and a messy bun. It really didn't occur to me that after not being close to my purses and my makeup that I forgot where everything was. I'd always loved my sweats, but I'd wasn't one to wear them out in public looking like I didn't care for myself. That's what I had been doing for the past month. Alice and Rose probably noticed this and was now trying to see how I was doing since I wouldn't really tell them exactly what had happened the last time I saw Edward.

I basically just had to convince them that I was okay, because I was. So I was moping around and eating less but since a few days ago when I read Renee's letter, I was finally starting to get things back on track. I ate three home cooked meals a day and finally cleaned my apartment. Technically I still wore my sweats but I didn't leave the house in the couple of days. I just had to let them know that I was doing fine.

To convince them the most, I had to remember where all of my good clothes and makeup were. I scurried around the room for a nice pair of jeans and blouse – which took up most of the hour I had – and finally found some dark skinny jeans and a cropped leather jacket to go with the goddess beaded knit top that still had the price tag on it. When I looked at the clock, I realized I only had fifteen minutes before Alice would storm in and dress me herself.

No heavy makeup today, I guessed. With some mascara and gloss I grabbed my purse and headed out the door. The elevator was unusually slow today so I took the stairs instead. Even though I was only on the third floor, it was still a bad idea because I was wearing heeled ankle boots. In order not to fall flat on my face I had to grip onto the banister so hard that my knuckles were turning white.

"Bella!" Rose screamed as I reached the lobby. I smiled and walked towards her.

"Hey, Rose," I said as we hugged. "Where's Alice?"

She chuckled. "In the car. She was going to come and get you. But I told her I would because she was going to use the force and drag your ass to her car."

"Then I'm glad it was you that got me. Though, I'm on time so what's the rush?"

"No rush. I also just needed to get out of the car because Alice's anxiety was getting too much to handle," She said nonchalantly.

"Anxiety for what?"

"For you, silly," She shrugged, leaving me slightly confused and a little anxious myself. "We'll tell you in the later. Now come on, let's go have some fun!"

*

To say I was surprised we hit the mall first would be a lie. We spent the majority of the day there shopping and laughing. We tried on silly clothes and took pictures – I felt like I was thirteen all over again. My feet began to hurt after a couple of hours, which was weird. I could usually stand in heels for the day. It was probably because I was only wearing sneakers for thirty days.

We then went to get some coffee. They suggested Starbucks but I refused and said they could go and I would wait. Of course, they wouldn't have that so we went some family owned café two blocks away from the mall.

"Um, just coffee, please," I said to the waiter as he jotted it down. I watched him leave and put the pencil behind his ear.

"So how have you been lately?" Alice asked.

"Good. I mean, I was a little out of control for a few weeks but I'm one hundred per cent fine now," I smiled.

"Come on, Bella," Rose said. "You've been a little more than 'out of control', you've been depressed and just completely out of it."

"Rose . . ."Alice began to say.

"No, Al, she needs to hear this."

I gulped. "What do I need to hear?"

"How you've been acting lately," Alice mumbled.

"What do you mean? I'm fine."

"That's total B.S. and you know it, Bella," Rose stated. "For a month you've been moping around. You were so skinny – you still are, actually, and wore baggy clothes. God, Bella, that's so not like you! You eat very healthy and look great one day and now look at you – trying to act like you're okay."

I snapped. "Have you ever thought that this isn't an act? I know you think that I have an eating disorder but that is not the case. I just have a lot going on right now and I don't need you two tell me that. I already know."

"Bella," Alice said. "We just want to help. You haven't been telling us anything lately and we just want to know what's going on."

"I can't. You'll just think I'm pathetic."

Rosalie shook her head. "If we thought you were pathetic we wouldn't be trying so damn hard to figure out what's wrong. Just tell us."

"Yeah, Bells, we're your friends. We have your back."

I looked at both of them and I saw that in their eyes was complete and utter honesty. The words that were springing in my mind were asking how I could have been keeping anything from these two. The truth was, I didn't even know why I was shying away from them. Maybe I was just trying to shy away from myself.

So I told them what had happened. I had to explain who Allie was and how she was connected to Edward. They listened to me as I told them all of the warnings she had given me right up until the first time she talked to me at my apartment. Alice let out a few "awes" while I replayed the masquerade and such. By the time I got to the part about how I liked Edward, I started to cry.

"Why are you crying? I thought you liked him," Rose said sympathetically.

"I do. I mean I _did_," I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes. "That's when I saw him kissing another girl and then everything made sense. The girl he talked about at the masquerade was her and I only brought my hopes up for it to collapse. Allie proved her point and I told her to leave me alone. I haven't seen her or Elizabeth and frankly, I'm good with that."

"Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry," Alice said as she took my hand.

Rose put her arm around me. "_We_ are sorry. You don't deserve this."

"It's okay guys. Allie warned me and I just wouldn't listen."

"Well how about later we all head to my house and have a girl's night? Emmett is going out with Jasper and Edward for drinks. We'll have the whole house to ourselves for God knows how long."

"It would be fun," Alice smiled. "We haven't truly had a girls night in forever. I bet it will get your mind off of Ass-Ward."

I gave a timid smile. "I guess. I don't really have a choice do I?"

Alice and Rose looked at each other deviously before giggling. "Not really."

*

It was around one in the morning when us three were watching _A Walk To Remember_. We probably had seen this thirteen times before and we still never got tired of the teen romance between Jamie and Landon. There was a time when I wanted to have a romance like theirs – without the sad ending – but now I didn't want it. I just wanted my friends by my side and possibly a beer. Yeah. That sounded pretty fantastic.

The sound of the door made all three of us jump. Rosalie got up from the couch and walked towards the front door. Alice and I shrugged it off and kept on watching the movie. It was getting to the part when Landon built the telescope and they were dancing outside of her room. God, this had to possibly be one of my favorite scenes in the movie. Nothing could mess this up . . .

"Emmett! What the hell are you doing here?" Rosalie shrieked.

. . . Until now.

Alice and I groaned and paused the movie. We both took a bit as we got up since we ate so much popcorn and ice cream. I felt like a total fat ass – which, in a sense was a good thing for me. Hopefully that put some meat on my bones.

"It's my house too, babe," Emmett chuckled.

"That's not what I meant! Us girls are having our night out and Bella and Edward – "

"What about it?"

"It doesn't matter! Just go out and come back in an hour or two before . . ."

"Before what, Rose? You're freaking me out!"

As soon as Alice and I got to the door it was then that my mind started reeling. Edward was standing there clad in jeans and a colored polo. His hair looked messier than usual and his eyes looked tired. I stood there, speechless. What was I going to do when the person I was avoiding for a month was standing before me, staring with those eyes. I wanted to storm out of here, get away from him and clean my eyes from his sight. But I knew that now there was no escaping. I was stuck.

". . . Before_ that_ happens."

* * *

**I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT:**

**I'm thinking about updating this story every Sunday? How do you guys feel about that? To be honest it will be hard for me but most likely I will have it up. If I miss a Sunday I probably will update it some time around the week. So yeah! Let me know what you think about that.**

**Now let me talk about this chapter. I know Bella is kind of melodramatic right now but the truth is - Bella is damaged too. With her relationship with her mom and her broken heart it's hard for her. Especially since she's you know . . . special? Besides that, this chapter was easy to write and hopefully you enjoyed it.**

**I wanted to say thank you to every that sent the birthday wished! Thank you guys so much =) Funny story, though. I was around sick people a week before my birthday and I tried so hard not to get sick. Guess what? I was sick-free for my birthday and I had a good day, too. Unfortunately, the day after my birthday I got the cold and so here I am now . . . covered in tissues. Ironic, right?**

**So this also has nothing to do with Twilight and what not . . but did anyone see Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The Lightning Thief? I did and wow is Logan Lerman (percy) FINE! His blue eyes . . . yummy. He also plays guitar! (I'm a sucker for guys with blue eyes, dark hair and musical). So yeah . . . I kind of love him now!**

**And like most of my author's notes, this one ws also kind of pointless. I just like to ramble you know? **

**Enough of this . . . REVIEW!**

**Love you guys, Karina.**


	13. Chapter 12: Hung Up

_Hot pink skies, _  
_Twilight of the day _  
_I think that I've been going about this _  
_The wrong way _  
_Kids on my street _  
_Got it right man, _  
_There for hide and seek _  
_My best friend she lives up the road _  
_Haven't talked to her in weeks _

_Oh time dont blind me _  
_I am so sorry _  
_I've been swept up _  
_In my own concerns_

**- Worldly Matters - Carly Rae Jepsen

* * *

**

Chapter 13: Hung Up

"Um, guys?" Edward said awkwardly. "I think Bella and I are going to head out."

"I am _not_ leaving with you."

Edward took my hand gently and murmured, "Humor me," before leading me outside.

As the door closed behind us, there was only silence. The whole entire time we walked, I was making an escape plan. Most likely Edward would be able to stop me so I decided not to escape. There was no running away now – I had to face up to him whether I liked it or not.

Our stroll must have been an hour long and still, neither of us made even the slightest hint of conversation. I would look at him at the corner of my eye to notice Edward was staring straight ahead with has jaw set tight. All I could think was that he was probably mad and was taking me somewhere to yell at me. It was logical; I would do the same thing if someone did that to me.

_Treat others as you wish to be treated_, Renee used to tell me. That was probably the only good bit of advice she ever gave me.

As Edward and I walked side by side, there was a sensation inside of me dimly brightening. It had been thirty days since I saw him and fifty-one days since I actually spoke to him. Seeing him now was like meeting him the first time – I was taking in his looks and the way he scanned his surroundings, almost like he was making an observation of everything (everything but me, but that was expected). I vaguely remembered the way he laughed and I missed the way his smile was imperfect that it was beautiful. I missed my friend, and he probably wanted nothing to do with me.

We walked on the pathway of a park. There were tall old-fashioned lamps that gave enough light to see. Tall trees were lined along the pathway and randomly in the park, the leaves whispering in the wind. There was a lake, too, and the moon reflected off the water giving off a muted white light. This would have been a beautiful moment if things weren't so tense.

Edward then stopped in front of a bench, but didn't sit down. I pursed my lips and stopped, crossing my arms against my chest. What was going to happen now? He still didn't look at me or loosen his jaw. "Bella, what did I do?" Edward asked quietly, almost a whisper.

I rolled my eyes. "That's a stupid question; you know what you did."

"That wasn't what you think it was."

"Do you know how many times that line has been said, Edward? It's been said way too many times. And why? Because it is complete, and utter bullshit!"

Edward was taken back by my outburst, but composed himself before saying, "It's not bullshit. Her name is Jessica and she's in my Psychology class. She called me because she was drunk and I took her in. She's a friend."

I scoffed. "Some friend. What is she, like your friend with benefits?"

"What? No, no," He shook his head. "That kiss was nothing. I couldn't push her off, like I said, she was drunk. If I pushed her away she would have stumbled and fell. I don't want to be responsible for hurting someone."

"That's a little too late," I spat.

Edward looked hurt and ran a hand through his hair. "Bella I'm telling the truth. Look, you can call her on my phone and ask her about it," He pulled out his phone and handed it to me. I didn't take it. "I'm telling you the truth. Do you want me to look you in the eyes?"

"Do it."

Edward faced me and stared at me with his green eyes. "Nothing happened between Jessica and I. She was drunk."

I watched him. His facial expression didn't change and I figured he wasn't lying. "Okay, fine."

He sighed. "Thank God. Why were you so upset anyway?"

"I thought that she was your girlfriend and I was upset that you didn't tell me. We were friends and I thought that you didn't trust me enough to tell me about her."

"Bella, Bella, Bella," Edward said. "Of course I would tell you, you're the person I trust the most. But she's not my girlfriend it. I don't have one."

"Oh, okay, then," I said.

"So . . ."

"Yes?"

"Why were you ignoring me the first time?"

Because I had a crush on you and had to stay away from you in order for it to go away, it obviously didn't work. "Um, don't worry about it."

Edward groaned. "What are you hiding from me? So I can trust you but not the other way around? Now _that_ is bullshit!"

"It's not that, Edward. I just need to keep some things to myself, you know?"

Edward paced back and forth, again running his hand through his hair. I stood there, still crossing my arms. I was going to get it now. He was definitely going to yell at me.

"Look," He said calmly, much to my surprise. "I know how you feel. I've kept things from people and it felt safe. Then I met you and I don't know, I told you all of my secrets on the first couple days we talked. The hole inside of me that was full of my dark memories didn't bother me as much.

I just don't want you to think that I don't understand, because I do. I'm not going to push you into telling me. When you're ready, you will."

I smiled tentatively. "Thanks. That means a lot to me."

He shrugged. "So do you forgive me?"

"Yes," I said and watched his imperfect smile begin to grow, only to see it fall when I stated, "but I don't know if things can go back to the way they were."

"W-what? I don't understand. It was all a misunderstanding."

"It _was_ a misunderstanding. It's just, because of everything we've both been through it's kind of awkward. I think we should just take a break."

Edward pursed his lips and nodded. "I guess. I don't fully agree, but I still want to be your friend. So, I guess I'll see you around."

"Yeah. I guess you will."

I then turned around and pulled my hood over my head. I didn't look back, only forward. No tears came this time. I was sure that this decision I made was for the best and that soon things would be back to normal. We both just needed time to think and get things straight. He had forgiven me and vice versa. However, I still didn't forgive myself for not telling him my secrets. I should have, seeing it was probably the best moment to tell him, but I didn't. I was too much of a coward.

*****

Everyday was a better than the last. I was eating healthy and got my coffee from Starbucks again. Reviewing everything I had ignored was a pain, but I was able to manage it and be ready in time for the exam. The apartment was clean and I finally let some light in. The sweats were only worn at home and my wardrobe was neatly organized along with my makeup and accessories. I felt like myself again – focused and somewhat happy.

It still bothered me that Edward and I were apart, but at the moment my own life was what mattered. Edward was probably feeling the same way, however, I had no idea if his lifestyle had changed at all since the mistaken night. I was, in a way, embarrassed that I had misunderstood what happened, but another part of me was also jealous. I envied her for being able to touch Edward in a way that I knew I was never going to be able to.

Though it still hurt me that I knew Edward didn't feel same way, it didn't hurt as much. I figured that I'd rather be his friend than nothing at all. That if he didn't like me then there was someone else out there for me. However, I didn't know if there was anyone else out there that would be able to accept who I was and what I could see. I could only hope.

"Police said that there was no woman in the room," Said the reporter. "However, witness, Jenna Jackson, truly believes she saw a woman in the apartment building that closed five years ago."

"I was walking to the subway when I looked up to see a beautiful woman around her mid-thirties tying a rope around her neck," Jenna Jackson said frantically in front of the camera. "At first I thought nothing of it. But then she jumped off of something and she just . . . hung there. I called 911 as soon as I could. It was . . . a horrible thing to witness."

The Sheriff then came on the screen with his aviator sunglasses and said in his husky voice, "When we got to the premises there was no one in the room. Like the rest of the building, it was vacant and dusty. My only guess is that either this young lady is going under emotional stress or is just looking for attention. Like the Balloon Boy hoax in Canada."

The camera showed Jenna again. "I have no idea why someone would think that I would create a scandal like that. I'm a girl from Tennessee and go to NYU. I attend church every Sunday and I do not believe in lying. This woman saw me looking at her just before she killed herself. The only distinct thing I remember about her was her dress. It was gorgeous – floral, with a fitted bodice and a full pleated skirt. It had these beautiful beads the were embedded around the neckline. It looked like a dress my mother used to wear. And the color, oh my, it looked lovely against her skin. It was this yellow that –"

I shut off the TV and stared at the blank screen. How peculiar – a woman in a yellow dress hanging herself. She wasn't there when the police showed up but that Jenna girl swore that she saw her. The woman sounded like Elizabeth. But why would Elizabeth hang herself if she was already dead? That wouldn't make a lick of sense, it didn't. Maybe the girl was stressed, because she definitely didn't seem like the type to make a scandal just for publicity. Poor thing. Hopefully she would be let go and be able to carry on with her life.

That was enough sympathy for me – I was about to leave to find a job. My bill had been getting more and more expensive throughout the last couple of months and I figured it was time to apply for a part-time job.

When I first moved to New York, I worked at the local bookstore. The pay was good and I was offered good discounts. However, when it came to my schedule, the owner wasn't so flexible. It soon became too conflicted with school and my freedom that I unfortunately had to quit. On the good side of it all, my savings were enough to last me. It was unfortunate that now I had to get a job, but at the same time exciting. I missed having the independence of working and knowing that the money I got was money earned.

So walking down the street, I saw many places that were hiring, good places too. It was unfortunate that their scheduling wasn't impeccable, but I kept my hopes up. There had to be some job that I could work with. Almost like God had heard me, loud music blared from a place down the street.

"_Carry on my wayward son, there'll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest. Don't you cry no more . . ."_

Kansas. Well, a store that plays Kansas is a good store on my record.

I looked both ways before I crossed the streets, singing along to the classic beat. As I stepped on the sidewalk, I caught the name of the store – Replay. Well, as long as they didn't play that song by Iyaz then we would be fine. That is, of course, if I was hired.

When I stepped through the door, I took in my surroundings. The walls were painted red and the floors were checkered in black and white. There were probably more aisles of CD's in this place than Best Buy did. Along the wall on the East side of the room was a multiple array of guitars going from acoustic to electric. And there, behind a desk was a guy with short black hair and tanned skin. He dressed like a total prep witch a Lacoste polo and True Religion Jeans. I'd bet anything that his shoes were also designer. However, he did look strangely familiar.

"Excuse me?" I said as I approached the counter. He didn't hear me. "Um, hello?" He still didn't hear me. "Excuse me!"

The boy jumped from surprise and lowered the volume. "Oh, how can I help you?"

"I was wondering if you're hiring?"

"Actually we are," he said. "But you need an interview."

"Okay. When is a good time?"

"Now. Okay, first question: Why would you like to apply here?"

I shrugged. "Because I love music and I need a job."

"You're hired!"

"Just like that?" I asked.

The boy smiled. "Yup. You can start tomorrow at three. Does that sound good?"

"That's great! I just have a question," I said. "How are you with scheduling?"

"I'm flexible with time, so I'm guessing you're part time?" I nodded. "No problem. I'll give you your schedule tomorrow and just let me know if there's a problem. By the way I'll be your manager – My name is Jacob, Jake, for short."

I suddenly knew why he looked so familiar. He was the guy that practically raped me at the club. Except, now he seemed like a completely different person. He seemed kind and not perverted. He was probably drunk that night. Jacob must have had the worst morning when he woke up. Not only did he have a hangover, but his head probably pounded since Edward beat the shit out of him. I wasn't saying that I felt bad for him, but it was more of a guess.

"S-sounds good," I stuttered, feeling a little tense. "I'll see you tomorrow, then?" He nodded and I left. So, this job wasn't going to be the best, but I just needed the money. Until I could find a better job, this would be temporary.

On my way home, the sun began to set. I would hear a few people murmur about the scandal that happened earlier in the day. I was passing the same building the girl did when I looked up and stopped mid-step. There was a woman up there that fitted the exact same description that Jenna girl had said. The girl was telling the truth! I had to go to the authorities so she would be let go –

Wait. The woman had copper colored hair that cascaded down her back and her pale hands tied the rope around her neck. She looked at me and I swore I could see that she was crying. And when she jumped, she struggled until she just stop moving, and her hands fell from the rope and hung limply. It wasn't the fact that I was seeing the exact same thing that Jenna Jackson saw earlier. It wasn't just a suicide – it was a suicide that happened ten years ago.

"Elizabeth?" I muttered.

* * *

**Happy Sunday my lovely readers! So like I promised, I updated today and will next week. I've got a few paragraphs of chapter 13 so we're on a good start haha. This chapter is kind of a filler - a foundation for chapters to come. So . . . yeah =)**

**I hope you guys are watching the olympics. Canada vs. USA for the Gold. GO TEAM CANADA WOOT WOOT! Haha don't hate me if you live in the States, I used to live there too. But I live in Canada now haha. As I post this . . . it is 2-1 (for Canada). Oh man, I'm getting really stressed out. But not as stressed as I get when I watch Ice Skating. I'm afraid every person will fall when they do their jumps. I'm weird like that!**

**Hmmm i don't really know what to say for the ext chapter, except that hopefully you'll like Edward again? I've gotten a couple of reviews saying Edward is a dick and stuff like that, but trust me you guys, you'll love Edward again! And I know some of you might be heart broken that they semi-made up but I'm trying to make this realistic. Both Bella and Edward need to take time and relax knowing that they are on good notes with each other. Remember that this is a BxE story okay? I'm a romantic!**

**I suggest you check every song that I post in each chapter. I have a link to each one on my profile so go ahead and listen to it! Also, if you want to suggest some songs to me, go ahead =) I pretty much love everything except for screamo. It scares me haha.**

**Kay guys, REVIEW!**

**Karina.**


	14. Chapter 13: Surprise

_Do you remember the nights _  
_We'd stay up just laughing _  
_Smiling for hours _  
_At anything _  
_Remember the nights _  
_We drove around crazy in love _

_When the lights go out _  
_We'll be safe and sound _  
_We'll take control of the world _  
_Like it's all we have to hold on to _  
_And we'll be a dream_

**_- We'll Be A Dream, We The Kings ft. Demi Lovato

* * *

_**

Chapter 13: Surprise

"Thank you so much for bailing me out," Jenna said. She was a sweet girl with blonde ringlets. Her eyes were red from crying. "I thought that no one would believe me."

"Well, lucky for you, I saw it. I have no idea where the body is though," I lied.

Jenna shuddered. "If they find it, I don't want to know about it. It was hard enough seeing that woman kill herself, I don't think I can handle seeing her corpse," She bit her lip. "I just can't imagine what the family is going through. What if she had children?"

"Um, I'm sure the woman wouldn't kill herself if she had a family."

_Another lie._

"Maybe you're right. Look, Bella, I want to thank again for helping me. My parents will be so relieved. They've been praying all the way from Tennessee!"

I chuckled. "You should call them, then. I'm sure they were just as anxious as you were."

She smiled and nodded before yelling, "Taxi!" Just before she got in the car, she looked at me. "I hope I'll see you again."

"Likewise," I replied.

My stomach grumbled. Time had passed since the interview. After surprisingly seeing Elizabeth kill her self again – for a reason I was not aware of – I had walked all the way to the police station since luck was not on my side. Not one taxi would stop for me. Then I had to write a witness sheet in order to bail poor Jenna out of jail, which took me a lot longer than I was hoping for. Also, since Jenna was still running on her adrenaline from the incident, she wouldn't stop talking. I felt like I was talking to Alice when she was a on a sugar rush.

_Get. Food. Now_, my stomach commanded.

"Taxi!" I yelled as soon as I saw one. It passed me. "Taxi!" I screamed again. "Taxi! Taxi! Oh screw it." I walked down the dark streets, holding my empty stomach that was now beginning to ache.

It was unusually silent as I strolled on the sidewalk. There was no car horn or one single person shouting. No dogs were barking or music blaring. The silence was disturbing, and I regretted not bringing my iPod. Nothing good ever happened in silence, not in Hollywood and definitely not in reality.

My mind always went back to the memory of Elizabeth killing herself. I'd encountered very emotional ghost before, but not a suicidal ghost. I was sure that Elizabeth wasn't a masochist, but that didn't explain the numerous suicides. It made me wonder how many times she had done it, and how many people had seen her. Maybe she wasn't moving on because she needed to get over her pain and not for Edward's happiness. I didn't know. I didn't _want_ to know. I wanted food.

I wasn't aware of the street I was on, but there were many old apartment buildings. It wasn't the most taken care of place, but I definitely could see why every single light in the buildings were on. There was very little graffiti, and every car parked here wasn't new or high end – they were classic automobiles. The bikes that were parked along the wall didn't have any lock, almost as if the people who lived here felt safe and knew that no one would try to take it. It felt comfortable, like a white picket fence community.

In the middle between two buildings was a small restaurant. There were groups of teenagers, families, people studying and the occasional loner – I took a swing and thought it was busy. I debated whether or not I should go in, but the silence was starting to bother me and the smell of pie alone began to lure me in.

"How many seats?" The young hostess asked me. She couldn't have been more than fourteen with her braces and glasses.

"Um, just me. So one?" I said, though it sounded like a question.

The young girl bent down to get a menu and stepped out from the counter. "If you could follow me, please." I nodded as she led me to a table on the far side of the room. As I sat down she said, "Your waiter should be here soon."

"Thanks."

When the waiter came, I ordered spaghetti and diet coke. It wasn't going to be enough for my vacant stomach, so I looked through the desert menu while I waited. Maybe some of that delicious smelling apple pie would do the trick . . .

"Hey, Miss? Can you turn up the volume on the news?" An elderly man asked.

The whole restaurant went quiet as the reporter began to speak. "Nineteen year-old Jenna Jackson has been let go due to an anonymous witness. However, it is still a mystery as to who that woman was in the abandoned apartment building . . ."

"Dude," A teenage boy said. "That Jackson chick is pretty hot. My mom was watching the news and damn! She has a tight body."

"You're sick, man. That girl is crazy!"

The boy laughed. "Yeah I bet she's crazy in – " Okay that was all I had to hear.

"Excuse me?" I said. The boy looked up. "No girl is going to want to have sex with you if all you want is a one night stand. So grow up and shut your mouth." The Boy looked stunned with his hazel eyes wide and his mouth open. His friend began to laugh uncontrollably and fell off his chair. Losers.

"God, Bella. You can be a real bitch sometimes," A soft voice said. I turned around in my seat and saw Edward standing there with a smirk on his lips.

"Edward? What are you doing here?"

He shrugged. "I come here a lot. Good spaghetti."

I laughed. _Good thing I ordered it_. "Um, why don't you sit down?" He stared at me blankly. "You don't have to! I was just saying that it would be rude if I didn't offer."

"Bella shut up," He chuckled. "I was just joking – after all this time I'm surprised you even let me talk to you."

I rolled my eyes. "You're _so _funny," I said sarcastically.

Edward sat down and leaned back. "I try, you know?"

"So, how are you?"

"Not too bad. Look, I was going to call you today but I figured that you still wanted to be alone . . ."

"It's fine," I said. "I'm fine. I actually miss you, and it's only been a few days."

He grinned. "I'm glad to hear that. So what have you been up to? Not falling I hope."

"Haha. _Not_ funny. But I just got a job today – hopefully it goes well."

"Oh, where did you apply?"

"It's not too far from here, it's this music store called Replay. It's quiet and it definitely needs new floors, but it has good pay and the time is very good."

"I could have gotten you a job at Starbucks."

"I know," I shrugged. "But the idea of me making coffee is terrifying. I can't even make my own caffeine without burning my hand!"

Edward laughed. "Okay, okay, that's true. But hey – I'm glad you got a job! That's a reason to celebrate."

"So how about we celebrate by having movie night? It is Friday after all."

"I can't," He said. "I have a paper due tomorrow."

I frowned. "Oh, that's fine. I guess I'll just go then . . ."

He laughed. "I'm kidding, Bella. God you're gullible."

"So I've bee told," I muttered.

*

To say that I was excited for my first day at work would be a lie – I was a nervous wreck. It wasn't the fact that I hadn't worked in over a year, but knowing that my boss was the guy who almost raped me. Yes, he was drunk at the time, but that still didn't make me feel any better. The only that would be going through my mind is to keep a good ten inches away from him at all times.

My palms were sweaty as I bit on my lower lip. God, I should have walked away when I was able to. If I quit now, he would probably think I had commitment issues. Damn. Damn. _Damn._

"Hey, Bella," Jacob said once I entered the store. "How are you?"

"Fine, I guess," I swallowed. "What do you need me to do?"

He shrugged. "We don't get that much service around this time of the day so you can shelve CD's."

"Okay. Um, how do I do that?"

He laughed. "It's easy. Each CD goes in alphabetical order – chronicle order for albums. There's a lot though since I don't have that many employees."

I smiled. "Well you have me now," I said awkwardly. "So, um, I'll go do that now." He nodded at me as I left to the storage room, though I could swear I heard him chuckling. "You can do it, Bella. Just three more hours," I whispered to myself.

Each box had a certain artist and their different albums. When I saw Demi Lovato's new CD, I told myself to buy it with the employee discount. She was a Disney star, but the only Disney star I respected as a musician. There was also some Led Zeppelin and Michael Bublé. This store had practically everything and it still didn't get as much of the service other music stores received.

Maybe it was because Jacob worked here . . .

I shook my head from that thought; I had to have some sort of respect for my boss.

At first, getting everything organized in the racks was difficult. I got confused with albums and artists, and constantly had to go back to correct it. After about two and a half hours, my mind was everywhere. The first day was always the hardest – but I didn't have this much trouble on my first day at the bookstore.

"Do you need a hand?" Jacob said all of a sudden, which made me jump in surprise.

"No, it's fine. I can do it," I replied, not even looking at him. I simply continued to put CD's in the rack.

"Are you sure? You look stressed."

"I'm not I'm – " I looked at him and sighed. He had on a kind face with his arms crossed over his chest. "Um, yeah, sure." Jacob began to grab CD's out of the box when I said, "You're my boss – you don't have to ask if I need help. You can do whatever."

"That's what anal bosses do," He said not looking at me. "I like to help my staff, let them know it's okay to ask for my help."

"Oh. I see," I said. For a while, neither of us said anything. It was completely and utterly awkward. "So, why don't you have that many employees? I mean you run a pretty good place here."

He grimaced. "About two and a half months ago my uncle died. He had such a big impact in my life since my dad was never really around. A workaholic, you know? Anyways, my uncle was pretty much the one who raised me and when he died from a heart attack – that was it. It was like I lost my father.

I was pretty much emo, aside from cutting my wrists. I didn't really talk to anyone and I was constantly aggravated with my staff. It got so bad that they all just quit. Business went down the drain and there was just too much stress on my shoulders. So I went to a bar and got myself drunk. Then something terrible happened." Jacob covered his face with his huge hand.

"Um, what happened?" I kind of already made my guess, but he didn't know that.

"Like I said, I got myself drunk," he said. "I started hitting on this girl and at that point I was just out. All I remember is that I hit on her and almost raped her. Then I got beaten up by some guy and woke up outside the bar with the biggest hangover of my life. I don't have any recollection of who the girl was _or_ the guy that hit me."

I pursed my lips. "Oh," I said.

"Don't get the wrong impression of me. I feel terrible for what happened. If I remembered what the girl looked like, I would find her and apologize with all I have. It still brings me guilt. Even if she didn't forgive me that would be okay because at least she would know what happened and know that I'm sorry."

After that, I lightened up to Jacob. Soon, he became my friend and I wasn't afraid to go near him. I had been working at Replay for a couple of days and things were surprisingly going smoothly. I texted Edward whenever Jacob wasn't looking. Since our most recent movie night, I felt like things between us had officially dissolved. We were back to being friends, and I still had that slight attraction to him, but that wasn't something I could control anymore. However, Jacob did make the slight anxiety for Edward go away.

I soon learned that I wasn't meant to clean the guitars hanging on the wall – Jacob even told me to stay away from them. When I cleaned the electric blue guitar, I almost broke the string, which was very special for that particular guitar. Of course I had no idea about what he was talking about as he explained it to me, but I knew that guitars and I just wasn't a rightful match.

When my one-week mark passed and I got my first paycheck, I was jumping up and down. "Yes! Hopefully this is enough to pay for my cell phone bill."

Jacob laughed. "You deserved it – you've been doing very well."  
"Thank you so much!" I hugged him when the little bell on the door rang. I looked up and stepped away from Jacob quickly. "Edward? What are you doing here?"

"You said you worked here so I said why not," He looked pained, "Hey, is that . . ." He took a closer look. "It's you. You're the one at the bar that night." Edward tugged Jacob by the collar and pushed him against the wall. Jacob looked scared out of his wits wand held his arms up.

"Look, man, I have no idea what you are talking about," he said hastily.

Edward scoffed. "Don't play that game. Two and a half months ago, you tried to rape a poor innocent girl. Do you remember that you son of a bitch? I should tear you to shreds for hugging Bella after what you did to her –"

"Edward!" I yelled, making him stop mid-sentence. "Let go of Jacob and wait for me outside!" He just looked at me with anger in his eyes. "Please?" I pleaded. Edward let go of him and stormed out the door. Jacob took deep breaths and rubbed his neck.

"Bella . . ." Jacob began to say.

"Are you okay? I'm so sorry about Edward, he's not usually like that."

"Bella, can I ask you something?" I gulped and nodded. "That girl at the club . . . was that you?" He asked with sadness in his eyes.

I looked down at my feet and sighed. "Yes."

"Oh my God, I am so sorry! I really didn't mean to do that to you. It was the alcohol in my system and I just . . . I'm sorry!"

"Jake, it's fine. You told me what happened remember?"

He nodded. "Look, now that I know that you are the girl, I don't think you should work here anymore."

"You what?"

"It's just that this makes things different and I believe that this shop needs a clean and pure work environment. I know you don't understand but –"

"No, I get it," I said, grasping onto my paycheck. "So I guess I'll just go." I turned away from him and just before I went through the door I smiled, "By the way – I forgive you." Jacob looked surprised but nodded, and then I left.

I saw Edward at the corner of the block pacing. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were still incensed. I could tell that his hands were in fists as he dug them in his pockets. I felt fury and I sped up my pace towards him. I couldn't understand why Edward still threatened him when Jacob looked so horrified and confused.

"How could you do that?" I shrieked. "He didn't have a clue who I was. He was drunk when that happened and before you pushed him against the wall, he had no recollection of you or me. Way to go, genius! Do you want a round of applause?"

He looked at me a shook his head. "You're actually standing up for him? After what happened?"

I shrugged. "Yes. He told me his story and why he got drunk that night. His uncle died and he was going through a phase. His uncle was the one who raised him since his dad was hardly in his life. If you lost a parent wouldn't you do the same thing?" When the words came out of my mouth, I immediately regretted them. Edward looked away. "Oh, Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't mean . . ."

"No, that's fine. I know you didn't mean it like that. I just can't believe you would care for him that much."

"I don't care for him as much as I care about you. I just felt sorry for him. Why do you even care anyway? "

"That is such a stupid question," He said. "You're my friend. I was just looking after you."

"I'm a twenty year old woman, Edward. I'm not as fragile as you think."

"Aren't you?"

"No, I'm not. I've been living on my own since the day I turned eighteen. I've never had the chance to be a child. I grew up as an adult. So please, for once, can you not give me that whole "you're so weak and I need to look after you" speech because –"

"Do you want to go out with me?"

"Because I am sick and tired of it!" I paused. "What did you say?"

"I said: Do you want to go out with me? You don't have to say yes. I understand. That's kind of why I came here today and –"

"Yes," I said.

Edward looked shocked. "Really?" I nodded and I swore I saw him blush before he cleared his throat. "So, I'll pick you up at seven tomorrow?"

I grinned. "Sounds good. Goodbye?"

"Yeah, bye."

As I watched him walk away all I could think was: What the hell just happened?

* * *

** I'm so sorry for not updating last week or anytime earlier this week! I was super busy! This was my schedule**

**Last Monday - Dance, homework, Gossip Girl**

**Last Tuesday - Dance all night. When I got home I was doing homework until one in the morning.**

**Last Wednesday - Dance, studying for my Bio exam.**

**Last Thursday - Vampire Diaries, Supernatural, clean my room & studying for my social exam.**

**Last Friday - Dance (wrote a tiny bit)**

**Last Saturday - Family Commitment**

**Last Sunday - Stomach Flu**

**This week I didn't have as much so I spent it writing this chapter. I hope this explains things and lessens the amounts of threats I know I'll be getting.**

**I know Edward asking Bella out wa completely random but hey . . . at this point . . . Bella's life is just random in general. Not to mention, she's glad Edward even asked her out at all. Awe, aren't crushes the best??? Actually no - they're kinda creepy hahaha =)**

**Who saw the Eclipse Trailer??? It was so awesome, right? I watched it the morning it was released and throughout the whole day at school all I did was talk about it. Yeah . . . I'm so excited for Eclipse. The third installment was my favorite book out of the series so hopefully it turns out well. I'll be so disappointed if it's horrible. But, I trust Summit. With movies being said . . . NEW MOON DVD - THIS SATURDAY - SO STOKED!**

**Okay I have to finish my homework now. REVIEW MY LOVES.**

**Karina**


	15. Chapter 14: The Hands Can Breathe

**Halfway around the world**  
**Lies the one thing that you want**  
**Buried in the ground, hundreds of miles down**  
**First thing that arises in your mind while you awake**  
**Bending you til you break**  
**Let me hold you now**

**Baby close your eyes**  
**Don't open til the morning light**  
**Baby don't forget**  
**You haven't lost it all yet**

_**- Syndicate, The Fray

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**_

Chapter 14: The Hands Can Breathe

I felt like there were tiny sparks glinting off of my skin as I walked, almost as if I was a bolt of energy. It was a weird feeling and I didn't know how to approach it. But I was happy – yes, I was definitely happy. Not only for the fact that Edward asked me out (though it definitely was partially it), but the thought that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way I did. Or maybe he knew I liked him and was mocking me. He could have planned this whole thing only to stand me up and go out with some ultra-blonde beauty. Oh no, what did I get myself into . . .

No, I had to trust Edward. After what we went through he made the fact that I could trust him with my life clear as day. So when he popped the question right after he beat up Jacob, then me getting fired, I was appalled. I was still happy, however. I was not going to, and never going to, deny that. And that brought a smile on my face, my stomach began to have butterflies and I just felt the urge to jump in the air and cheer.

But that changed when the warm tingly feeling I felt began to turn cold. It didn't make sense to me how the warm weather suddenly turned arctic. Then everything began to darken and dim, the lights in the stores began to flicker, my bones felt weak and the hairs on my skin stood on end.

I wasn't alone.

Behind me there were footsteps and a small groan. The sound seemed painful, like there was nothing to live for anymore. A cool breeze brushed my shoulder, and when I turned around, nothing and no one was there.

"Hello?" I yelled. Everything went back to normal and the cool wind seemed to recede as suddenly as it appeared. I shrugged and went on my way through the hallway.

_Ignore it_, I told myself, _it's probably just your nerves._

However, I couldn't shake off the feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me that I was being watched.

*

What was I going to wear?

This was a big issue; I had to look good for Edward and I didn't have any nice blouses or dresses – I was merely a jeans girl. That was basically all I saw, too. There were some t-shirts and jackets, but the majority were skinny jeans. I barely had any heels since most of my footwear consisted of flats and sneakers. I should have called Alice to take me shopping – I knew I was forgetting something. I had no time for Alice to doll me up. There was only an hour left and I was wasting time staring at my closet. I would just have to make do with what I had, I guess.

Basically, my outfit was skinny jeans, a white shirt with black flowers and an elastic waste and some heels (of course, they weren't too high for my sake). My hair was actually tame for once, so I just left it down. I didn't look in the mirror for the final product; I just grabbed my purse and slipped on a coat. It was eerie as I blundered my arms through the sleeves. I felt a cold touch trail down my spine.

It was slow and uncomfortable. At first, it was gentle, creeping up and down my spine. Then the touches began to get harder and more erratic. No longer was it going up and down my back, it was everywhere and painful. It was almost like hands were trying to grasp at me, trying to hold onto me. When I whipped around to see what was exactly trying to grab me I didn't see anything and the aching pats were gone. However, I could sense multiple places on my back that were in utter pain.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

"What? Already?" I whispered as my heart began to race. I ran around the room with sweaty palms and hot cheeks thinking about how frazzled I was. On my way to answer the door, I caught my reflection in the full-length mirror for the first time after getting ready. It didn't exactly boost my self-confidence, but I had to admit that it was the best I could do. I already knew how insignificant I looked standing next to Edward.

_Breathe, Bella. Breathe._

With one final sigh, I swung the door open and smiled, only to frown when I saw it wasn't Edward – it was Alice.

"Gee, Bella, don't get too excited now," She said sarcastically.

I sighed. "Sorry, Al. I didn't mean to wound your ego but Edward is going to be here for our date and I thought it was him."

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize . . ." She paused, crossing her arms. "Date?"

"I forgot to tell you about that," I said. "Nothing big. He just asked me out to dinner tonight and you know since I'm such a girl I said yes."

She screamed and jumped in the air. "This is great! Tell me how he asked you!"

"You know I would, but he's going to be here any minute and I really should calm down."

"Don't you dare close this door," Alice demanded.

"I'll tell you all about it tomorrow, okay?"

"Isabella Marie Swan!" Alice yelled as I closed the door.

"Bye, Al. I promise I will call you."

"Yeah, you better! Or else I will knock down this door and kick your – " I shut the door and leaned against it.

Five minutes later, I was still leaning against the door trying my best to calm down and regain myself. I never had to tell myself compliments before my first date with Mike. But then again, Edward was far better looking than my pathetic ex-boyfriend.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

I groaned and hastily opened the door. "Alice I thought I told you that I would call you tomorrow . . ." I said. Again my cheeks got hot and my palms got sweaty.

"I'm sorry I'm not Alice. But maybe I'm a good second place?" Edward said jokingly.

I laughed nervously, trying to inconspicuously wipe some of the perspiration off my forehead. "Um, Alice was just here and I thought that it was her."

Edward smiled that imperfect grin of his, almost making me melt. "And what exactly is it that you're going to tell her?" At first, I was hypnotized. But after a few moments I shook my head and put my hand on my hip.

"That's none of your business, you goof."

"True," He held out his arm before saying, "So how about we get going? I have reservations for 7:45."

"Where is this reservation?" I asked nervously.

He laughed. "Don't worry about it – at least not until we get there. Think of it as a . . . surprise."

"I'm not a fan of surprises," I replied. "But okay. I'll take your word that it'll be a good one." And with that, I looped my arm in his and tried not to notice that he was watching me with his deep emerald eyes.

*

Just like Edward, his car was gorgeous. I knew it was an Audi, but was dumbfounded with what the specific model was. In fact, I never even knew that Edward owned a car. I thought he just took the subway and walked like a regular New Yorker. Of course I was wrong. This man was just full of surprises.

"So, is this car new or something?" I asked quietly.

He shook his head. "I've had this since I was in Chicago."

"Then how come you never drive it? It's such a nice ride!"

"Exactly," he said. "I only drive it on special occasions."

"This is a special occasion?" I inquired.

Edward smirked and winked. "It most definitely is."

I might have melted there, but instead I just looked straight and tried not to blush too much. The more I stared out the window I noticed how fast he was driving. It was like we were forwarding through time. To be honest, however, it was scaring the hell out of me and I clutched the leather seat. There was no way I was going to die before having my first date with Edward. I was not going to become a ghost with a purpose.

We didn't talk for the rest of the ride. I wasn't sure if it was because Edward was deep in thought or that I was trying to forget what had happened at my apartment not too long ago, but the silence was comfortable. In fact it was so easing that it _almost_ got rid of the fear of his driving. Though the silence immediately ended when Edward parked in front of a valet.

"Edward," I said. "What are we doing at Broken Plate?"

"Isn't it obvious? This is where we're eating."

My eyes grew wide. "But this place is way too expensive. I can't pay you back for this meal."

"That's because you won't be paying me back," He said just before he got out of his car. I watched him walk around and open my door. "Are you ready, mademoiselle?"

"Yes, but I'm going to kill you later."

Edward shrugged as he helped me out of the car. "I think I can handle it." He handed his car keys to the valet, who looked to be around seventeen in his ridiculous outfit, and led me inside. Well technically, the doorman opened the large class door and took our coats to the coatroom. The smell of Greek food was so good – it made my mouth water.

The restaurant itself practically yelled "money making food" with its fancy lights and dress attire. Speaking of dress attire, I felt so insignificant against every waiter and hostess in their sleek black clothing. Here I was, wearing jeans and the only thing black was my shoes. I didn't think anyone would be staring at my feet. No wonder Edward was wearing a black shirt . . .

"You didn't tell me to wear black," I whispered.

He looked at me funny. "You didn't have to wear black."

"You're wearing black," I pointed at the family sitting down eating their dinner. "They're wearing black. Everyone here is wearing black. I feel so out of place."

Edward looked me up and down. "Your shoes are black."

"Wow, thanks," I scoffed.

"Don't worry – you look fantastic. And to be honest, you look better than anyone else in the room."

The lady who took us to our table was a whole head taller than I was and a lot better looking. She was eyeing Edward like a piece of meat, which was pissing me off. I didn't notice I was glaring at her until she looked at me and immediately backed off. With that I looked away – I didn't want to be kicked out for wounding a red head's ego. However, it was _my _ego that was wounded when I saw the prices on the menu. Each meal cost over a hundred dollars. Just as I was about to protest, Edward gave me a look that clearly said "suck it up princess."

"Are you guys ready to order?" Our waiter asked. To my luck, it was a man. Unfortunately, he was totally gay and he was definitely checking out Edward. I tried not to laugh.

Edward cleared his throat. "I'll have the Salmon Exohito."

"And I'll have Ravioli Vasiliko, please."

The man took our menus and said, "Thanks. And if you need anything, anything at all, just holler." He took one long look at Edward before stalking down the row.

Again it was silent, and I bit my lip from laughing. But I couldn't hold it in – I cracked up and surprisingly Edward did too. "I think that shirt is too revealing, Edward. I'm pretty sure it was turning our waiter on."

Edward blushed, which looked incredibly cute. "Oh, God. I don't even want to think about stuff like that," he groaned.

"I think I might have some competition."

"There's no competition. You're the only one I see right now."

Edward always knew what to say to make a girl feel good. If it wasn't his looks, it was definitely his words. From the corner of my eye I could feel stares boring into my shoulder as they watched Edward and I. I ignored it for the most part, but at the same time wanted to tell them to get a life.

Suddenly there was this huge gust of wind, and at first I thought it was the wind when someone opened the door. But then it seemed to stay low on the ground. The breeze began creeping up my leg and down my back. I thought it was just the chills from being nervous or the simple fact that I was cold, but then it felt like hands were crawling over me. The same hands that were grabbing me at my apartment.

The room that was so modern and beautiful began to change. Everything was flickering back and forth to another place – another time. My eyes were wondering everywhere as the cold hands began to pull at me. The booths were replaced with old-fashioned couches. The tables and the walls that were a dark wood, was now cream colored. It was scattered, undecided almost. The scenes were changing so fast that I could only make out so much.

"Bella?" I heard Edward say. The room was still changing. "Bella?" He asked more urgently. When I felt his hands on my arm everything was the same, almost like nothing had happened. I could feel those strange hands begin to seep away from me and back to the ground. "Are you okay?"

I gulped and nodded. "Yeah," I said with a raspy voice. "Sorry, I uh . . . had a moment."

He smiled timidly. "I could see that. Are you not feeling well? I could take you home."

"No!" I said almost too instantly. "I'm probably just hungry. I go a little crazy when I don't have some sugar in me."

Just in time, our wonderful waiter came along with the food. It was creepy how he was staring at Edward, especially when he didn't even acknowledge me as he set my plate. I could see Edward was getting uncomfortable and was staring at the table. This was definitely a Kodak moment.

No wonder the food was so freaking expensive – it was _beyond_ delicious. The only thing that was stopping me from enjoying the taste was the wonder of what was happening. Was something wrong with me? Was I losing my ability and the ghosts were trying to contact me? None of this has ever happened to me before. This made me worried. It wasn't like I didn't want my "special" sight to cease; I just didn't know how to live without it.

"Edward," I said, trying to ignore my thoughts. "The food is amazing. You have to let me pay you back somehow . . ."

"No way."

"But –"

"Bella let me treat you tonight. This is a date, after all," He replied with a smirk, knowing that I wouldn't be able to say no.

He was right. "Okay, fine. But only because you just used your hypnotic eye thing."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Hypnotic eye thing?"

Oh _shit_, that was supposed to be said in my mind. I couldn't tell him that he easily hypnotized me – that would scare him off. "I meant that you're just really charismatic is all. Don't let it go to your head." I could hear him chuckle, which only made me smile.

Edward paid with a cheque, and when I asked why he didn't pay with cash or credit, he simply said that he didn't want the hassle of swiping the card or getting change back. So basically, this only proved how wealthy Edward was. He worked at Starbucks for heaven sakes! Then I remembered that his (adopted) dad was a surgeon and his (adopted) mom was an interior designer. But still, I admired how he wasn't snobby about his cash like some of the kids I had class with.

"Let's take a walk around the city," Edward suggested when we exited the restaurant.

"Sounds good. Um, lead the way."

Everything was fine until it got wintry again.

_Oh no_, I thought. The change of scenery started and the wind skulked through my body. I began to shiver when Edward took my hand and held it gently in his. The weird feeling stopped abruptly just like it had when Edward touched my arm at the restaurant. Very curious . . .

"My God," Edward exclaimed. "Your hands are freezing.

_Not anymore, now that you're holding them._

"Yeah, I guess I'm just a little chilly." It felt right, holding hands. I wasn't sure if it was the same for him, but it was like my hand fit perfectly as it laced through his fingers. His hands were soft and warm just like I had imagined them. It still shocked me that I was even here with him on a date. "You know," I said. "I thought that when you asked me out it was a joke."

"Why?" Edward asked, sounding hurt."

I shook my head. "I didn't mean I thought it was funny. I was just saying that I thought you were mocking me," I looked at our held hands for the first time, but I could feel him watching me. "Obviously I have feelings for you. I just thought you didn't feel the same way."

Edward scoffed. "Why would you think that?"

"Have you looked in the mirror lately? You're every girl's dream guy. Not to mention you're smart and kind. I'm Miss Plain-Jane Bella. I'm clumsy and stupid and possibly have the worst luck ever. Just being friends with you seemed like a dream." I took a deep breath and waited for him to reply. "Well?"

"Bella, you are not stupid or plain – you have a maturity to you that most girls your age don't posses, and I admire that. You're beautiful, how can you not see that? Every man looked at me with envy when I had you at my arm. I can't believe you didn't notice." I blushed, looking down. Edward took his other hand and lifted my chin with his finger. "Look at me. You are an amazing person and you have to accept that."

"You're lying," I replied.

"I would never lie to you. I didn't say you're graceful – you _are_ clumsy."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks."

Edward squeezed my hand. "At least I learned something new today."

"What's that?"

"You think of me as your dream guy," He smirked. Then he did something I never expected.

Edward Cullen kissed me.

*

"You guys did it, didn't you?" Alice asked.

I took a sip out of my coke. "Did what?"

She sighed. "You know . . . _it._"

I almost choked on the drink. "What? No, no, no."

Rosalie came in from the kitchen and sat down with Alice and I in my living room. "Yes you did!" She sang. "It's all over your face."

"You guys need to get your minds out of the gutter," I stated. "All we did was kiss."

This fact only made the two even more excited. Alice clapped and then asked, "Was he a good kisser?"

"I don't have much to compare to, but yeah. He was definitely a good kisser."

"Hell yeah he must have been. It looks like your cheeks are going to explode from all the blood rushing to them dimples," Rose said, only making me blush more.

I stood up and took their hands. "Okay, it's time for you two to go." Rose and Alice protested and tried to fight me off, but I eventually got them out the door. "When you two calm down give me a call and we can try this all over again. Love you!"

"Hate you!" They both said in unison.

When I closed the door, it felt like my window had been opened all day. The wind was blowing and everything was twisting around. The lights flickered until they were off and my knees got weak. I groaned as I fell, and closed my eyes. I covered my face with my arm and tried not to scream.

I didn't know how long it was until the tornado stopped, but when it did, I peeked though one eye and gasped. I stood up and at first was shaky, but I regained my balance when I held onto my door. Except, it wasn't a door anymore. It was a couch with a floral design. The first thing I saw after the couch was yellow fabric from the corner of my eye. I whipped my head around and suddenly everything was beginning to become more complicated and confusing.

"My God. What's happening to me?"

* * *

**Once again, sorry for the late update. I was having a bit of inspirational issue. I don't know . . . my creative side just wasn't working last week. Besides that, you should be happy that instead of studying for my math midterm, I updated. So if I fail tomorrow, you know why haha. But let's hope that I don't fail, okay? PRAY FOR ME.**

**Now to the chapter, I really hope you like their first date. Of course I had to add some supernatural/ghost thing in there - this is a supernatural/romance story after all. I also noticed that I was seriously lacking the supernatural stuff in the last few chapters. So where else to bring it back but in the date chapter? Haha. I realize I left you guys with a cliffhanger . . . again. Sorry, but I want to hear why you guys think is happening right now. Let me know and hey, you could inspire me. =)**

**Off Topic Issues:**

**#1: I HAVE A NEW STORY!! **It's called _Don't Forget Me_ and I would love you guys forever if you check it out. Here's the summary:

_When Bella gets into an accident all she remembers was barely making it in life. That was 3 years ago. Now she's gorgeous, rich and married to a handsome man. When a bronze haired man enters her life, Bella feels like her new life might not be so perfect._

Now I know you might think it's going to be like every other "Bella forgets and Edward helps her," but it's not. Trust me. It's a lot more complicated, funny. It's definitely an ExB fanfic (TEAM ED FTW!). So yes, please, please, please check it out.**  
**

**#2: I CHANGED MY TUMBLR ACCOUNT!! **The other one just wasn't working out for me, idk why. It just wasn't haha. So i deleted it and created a new one and I feel a whole lot better about it. I'll put the link on my profile so if you have tumblr, follow me ;) I also have twitter (which is also on my profile) so check it out and follow me;) Remember I'm not demanding you to . . . just suggesting.

**#3: I'M UNSURE IF I CAN UPDATE NEXT WEEK!! **Actually, I'm thinking of updating every other Sunday.

**#4: I WATCHED REMEMBER ME!! **Omg you guys . . . I'm so sad. I'm not going to spoil it for those who haven't watched it yet and plan to see it, but let's just say that I didn't see that coming. I saw it last night and I'm still broken up about it. It's been twenty-three hours and I still want to bawl my eyes out. Good movie though - I definitely recommend it to everyone. Let me know what you guys thought of the movie in a review.

**#5: WHO ELSE GOT NEW MOON AT MIDNIGHT?!! **I went to Wal-Mart to get my copy and I'm very pleased haha. It's sitting proudly beside my Twilight DVD.

**#6: RANDOM NOTE!! **I got Justin Bieber's new CD! Yay! Yes, I'm a Justin Bieber fan - don't judge me! I think he's very talented and as he gets older his voice and music is only going to get better. Now I have My World and My World 2.0. For those JB fans out there - did you get his CD yet?

**Wow . . . long AN. Haha. Oh well. REVIEW PLEASE MY LOVELY READER. STAY SAFE.**

**Karina.**


	16. Chapter 15: Blinded

_When you're overwhelmed and you've lost your breath_  
_And the space between the things you know is blurry nonetheless_  
_When you try to speak, but you make no sound_  
_And the words you want are out of reach, but they've never been so loud_

_And if your heart wears thin, I will hold you up_  
_And I will hide you when it gets too much_  
_I'll be right beside you, I'll be right beside you_

_I will stay_  
_Nobody will break you_

**- Beside You, Marianas Trench

* * *

**

Chapter 15: Blinded

I began to hyperventilate as I got off the ground, my hands trailing up the back of the couch for balance. I didn't remember the last time I saw a couch with a floral design like this. Not even Charlie had these in his house anymore – at least, not since I told him how outdated they were. While Charlie's was beaten up and the flowers were beginning to get dirty, this one looked brand new. It smelled new too. To be honest, every piece of furniture seemed to have that sort of vintage vibe. There was not a sight of modern art in this house. At lease I thought it was a house. I took small, silent steps around the room to see an entry to the kitchen and another entry to the stairs.

Yes. This was definitely a house.

It was bright, and through the window I could see that the sun was at it's highest. That meant it was around noon. Great. It was four o'clock back at my apartment, so where was I? I definitely was not in New York. Sweet humming broke me form my reverie and I remembered the hint of yellow pass me. Elizabeth must be here, and she must want to tell me something. What, exactly? I had absolutely _no _idea.

I then heard footsteps, and they were coming from the stairs. I looked up and there was Elizabeth all clean and put together. Her short auburn hair was in curls and her makeup was freshly done. It was a shame that there were tears in her eyes – she looked fabulous. And of course, there she was in that yellow dress. I didn't notice before, but she was holding a rosary that was wrapped tightly around her wrist. That would explain the faint scar I had seen before.

"Elizabeth!" I said, relieved. "Where am I?" She looked at me, but it was almost like she wasn't truly _seeing _me. "Hello?" I waved a hand in front of her face yet she didn't waver or twitch.

Things just got even weirder.

"Okay then," I mumbled.

Elizabeth continued humming as she glided her fingers over the piano keys. A sob then escaped her lips and she tried to hold back the tears. I didn't know what to do. She couldn't hear or see me, and the reason why I was here was still unknown. But still, she hummed a soft melody and closed her eyes as small tears rolled down her pale cheeks.

"Oh, darling," She barely whispered, "I miss you. I . . . I don't know what to do without you."

My heart seemed to break as she whispered to her absent husband. I could only imagine how Edward had felt as he watched his mother drain from her depression. I watched as she looked at a picture frame sitting on the counter. When Elizabeth touched the glass, she smiled faintly before removing the picture from the frame. I wanted to see what it looked like, but she kissed it swiftly and placed it in her pocket. Elizabeth was now sobbing. I couldn't bear to see her like this – this was making me frustrated beyond belief. But when I saw her grab the rope form the closet, I suddenly knew what was going to happen.

Elizabeth tied it tight and stood on top of the beautiful kitchen table before putting her head through the loop. "I'm sorry, Edward. I truly am." She took a deep breath and let the tears fall freely. "Our Father, who art in heaven. Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come . . ."

"Don't do this," I muttered.

Elizabeth took another step, making her heels the only thing left on the table. "Lead us not into temptation. But deliver us from evil . . ."

"Elizabeth!" I pleaded.

"Amen."

And just like that she jumped. The rope pulled tight around her neck and she grasped it, fighting for air. Her legs kicked and her torso twisted. It only made it worse. After a few moments, she completely stopped moving and her hands fell to her side.

It was my turn to cry.

The front door slammed closed and I whipped around. Ten year-old Edward stood there clad in a uniform and had the biggest smile I had ever seen. He took off his backpack and placed it next to the door before slipping off his jacket.

"Mom!" He yelled excitedly. "I have the greatest news!"

Oh no. I couldn't watch this, I just couldn't. I turned away and tried to block out the sounds. But even so it was like they were echoing in my ears.

"Mom?" When I heard his faint footsteps coming close to me I cringed.

And just like I had expected – Edward screamed.

"No! Please, no!"

"Get me out of here," I cried.

"Mommy! Mommy, please, wake up," Edward pleaded. I still didn't watch, but I could only imagine the look on his face as he tried to get his mother away from the rope.

In the distance, I could hear someone calling my name. I opened my eyes and saw that everything was changing again. The scene of Edward crying over his mother flickered to my living room. And there was the voice again, bringing me out of my nightmare. It wasn't a nightmare though. In fact, I didn't know what it was exactly. My apartment stood without changing and the horrible setting was gone.

"Bella?"

I looked up and sighed to the sight of Edward hovering over me. There was worry in his eyes and his hands supported my body. He felt warm and safe. However, it didn't last long.

"Edward," I breathed just as sleep overtook me.

*****

I heard the most beautiful sound – it was soft and sweet, like an angel. My tense body relaxed slowly as the humming prolonged. I wanted to reach out and grasp the voice and hold it against my heart until it soothed the darkness. The sound caressed me; I could feel its arms hold on to my body. My hand rose to touch it, and came in contact with warm, smooth skin. The humming stopped.

"Hey," I heard.

My eyes fluttered open. I felt silly when I saw Edward – of course it was his voice that was so perfect. "Hi," I replied with a raspy voice.

"How do you feel?" Edward asked; his face filled with concern.

I groaned. "I've had better days."

"Have some water, it sounds like you're going to lose your voice." I grabbed the glass out of his hands and took a sip. The liquid seeped down my throat painfully, tasting like metal.

"Thanks." Edward nodded his head without a word. I tapped my fingers against the glass awkwardly. "I'm sorry, I don't really know what happened." That was somewhat true.

"Why are you apologizing, Bella?"

I shrugged. "I just feel like I need to apologize."

"Well you don't," Edward said as he twirled a strand of my hair around his finger. "I'm just sorry I wasn't there in time."

"What are you talking about?" I sat up and took his hand in mine. "I just had a spasm, you wouldn't have known."

He closed his eyes. "I was on my way here when I stopped to get some coffee. I'm so selfish, Bella. If I hadn't waited in line for that coffee I would have been here to help you."

"But you did help me. I'm okay now, aren't I?" Edward nodded slightly. "So don't worry about it – you are not to blame. No one is to blame." I stroked his cheek with my cold hand.

Edward touched my hand and sighed. I felt so far away from him that it almost hurt. Edward seemed to have read my mind because just after that thought, he closed the distance by pressing his lips against mine. It was soft and gentle. Almost like we were just sympathizing each other. When we pulled away, I missed him. He was sitting so close to me _and I missed him_. I must have still been drowsy from what I had seen.

"That was nice," Edward said.

I nodded my head lamely. "It was. We should do that more often."

"Don't tempt me." I giggled and nestled my head in the crook of his neck.

"Just out of curiosity," I mumbled. "How did you get in?"

"Easy," Edward shrugged. "You left your door unlocked. I heard you whimpering and after you didn't answer your door, I was just about to kick it open when I heard something click. You really need to change your locks – it just unlocked loosely."

My eyebrows furrowed together. I never left my door unlocked, and I most certainly was not the one that opened it. "Oh. I guess I should check on that."

"I'm just glad you're okay. You really worried me."

"That's silly. I'm not that important."

Edward pulled away from me so that I could see him. He still held onto me, but I wasn't as close of a proximity anymore. "You're important to _me._ I don't know what I would do if you something like that happened again."

"I feel the same way about you," I blushed. "On the bright side, I've never had a spasm before. I'm pretty sure it's only a one time thing."

Edward stayed for a couple of hours, and in that time we didn't talk about what had happened. Instead, we talked about everything else. It was relieving. His hand was in mine and it felt right. However, in the back of my mind I still couldn't shake off all the lies that were surrounding us.

I didn't know if I was ever going to tell him about me seeing his mother and ex-girlfriend. I especially didn't know if I was ever going to tell him about what I have been able to see since I was a child. It was scary and a truly long story. For now, what he didn't know was the best for him. Elizabeth still wanted me to help her son, and this was the best way for him to move on. I couldn't destroy that – his happiness was my happiness.

"I better get going," Edward sighed as he stroked my cheek. "It's getting late and you need the rest."

"But I don't want you to leave," I argued.

"I don't want to either. But if I stay any longer I won't ever leave, and Emmett would have my head on a platter if he knew how late it is."

"You're a grown man, Edward, why would Emmett care?"

He chuckled. "'Cause when I told him about our date he almost strangled me. He might be my brother but he also sees you as his little sister."

"Oh, I see."

Edward chastely kissed my forehead. "I'll see you soon."

I followed Edward out the door and made sure that the door was locked when he left. He was so naïve to everything I knew – everything that I had seen. It was painful. He trusted me, and even though I knew things he hadn't told me yet, I knew that if he were to say so, he would trust me. It wasn't like I didn't have that same faith in him, because I did, I just didn't want to see him runaway from me and betray me like my mother had done so long ago. That would hurt more than when Renee sent me off.

I sighed and walked to my room to change. I stripped myself of the jeans and t-shirt to slip on some pajama shorts and an NYU hoodie. I referred to the baggy hoodie as my security blanket, because it was like every lie or untold truth was filled inside, not ready to be shown. Once I washed my face, I removed my contacts. My eyes had gotten worse throughout the years from all the research I had done. Staring at a computer screen for hours on end was not good for my eyes and the need for glasses was not optional.

_Creak._

My head shot up. What was that?

_Creak._

My heart pumped against my chest as I walked down the hallway. I didn't have a baseball bat or a gun. All I had was that damn umbrella I almost used on Edward when he came over once. What was I going to? Open the umbrella and say: _Bam! You've just been hit with bad luck. What now, bitch?!_

Yeah . . . not likely.

"Put the umbrella down, Bella. It's just me."

I lowered the purple umbrella to see Elizabeth standing there. Her dress looked brand new and her hair was freshly done. The scars were more prominent – red, purple and bruised. The scar on her wrist came from the rosary I had seen, and I could see the shape of the Cross embedded on her palm. It was not as bad as the one on her neck, which looked like it had been cut deep and was only in the beginning of the healing process.

"How have you been, darling?" Elizabeth asked calmly.

"Well, aside from being fired from my job, seeing you hang yourself and then somehow go back in time to see you hang yourself _again_ . . . I've been okay."

"Ah, yes. About that . . ."

"Enlighten me," I interrupted. "I would _love _to hear to story."

"At least your sarcasm is still intact," Elizabeth chuckled. She motioned for me to follow her as she took a seat in the living room. I sat opposite of her and crossed my arms. "Where should I begin?"

I sighed. "The beginning would be a good place."

"It is," She smiled faintly. "I thought you were aware of what happens to people like me around the anniversary of their death, but I was wrong."

I cocked my head to the side slightly. "What _does_ happen to you around the anniversary of your death?"

Elizabeth sighed and closed her eyes. I guess it wasn't easy. "Basically, you are pulled away for a long period of time to watch yourself die. Think about watching a movie ten times in a row. It's like that – but much, much worse. On the actually anniversary date, you get pulled once again and before you know it, you're reliving your death. You have no control and each time is painful."

"So basically it's a punishment."

"Sort of. But after all of that pain and misery, you are at peace for a couple of days. I like to think of it as sort of a tease – showing us what eternal rest is like. But until my duty is over, my rest is a long ways away."

I nodded in understanding. That would explain why she was seen hanging herself over and over. "But why were you killing yourself here and not in Chicago?"

"I'm not really sure. I think it might have to do with where your duty lies. Since my duty is make sure Edward's happiness is relieved, I follow him."

"Oh," I said lamely, running a hand through my hair. This was a lot to take in. "Why did you take me back to the past? I would have been fine with you just telling me, not showing me." I shuddered.

Elizabeth pursed her lips. "That was the only way I could break through and reach to you. I've been trying a couple of times and have come really close, but it wasn't until today that my connection finally came to you."

"So the cold wind and the hands . . ."

"Yes, that was I. I'm sorry if I scared you."

I shook my head. "I wasn't scared. More like freaked – I didn't know what was going on."

"And Edward was the one that calmed you down. It sure did block my connection during your date."

I blushed. "Look, Elizabeth. I'm not going to lie to you, but I really like Edward. And apparently he feels the same way. I wouldn't have helped you out if I had known this was going to happen. I like to keep things professional, but this time my feels got the better of me."

After my ramble I took a deep breath. "Are you mad?" I asked nervously. I couldn't tell what she was feeling; her face was incredibly composed. She just watched me and I didn't know if she was simply looking at me or glaring me down. If this were poker, Elizabeth would have gotten an award for the best bluff.

_Please answer the question already,_ I thought to myself.

"No," I sighed of relief. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. You two have been helping each other and throughout the process you must have felt a sort of shelter and passion for each other . . ."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I waved my hands, trying to get her to stop. "What do you mean 'helping each other'? I'm not the one with emotional stress."

Elizabeth got up from the couch and kneeled in front of me, taking my hands in her cold ones. "Oh, sweetheart. You don't even see it, do you?"

I shook my head. "No. What help do I need?"

"I can't tell you that, Bella. You need to figure that out on your own. You've been blocking all of your emotions with a brick wall so high that you've only learned to live with what you are able to see beyond that average eye.

If I tell you, your wall would still be standing. You have to learn to break it down and let your emotions free. It's a lot easier than bottling it up. Take it from someone who knows."

"That's easier said than done,"

"Just think back to the beginning, and everything else will follow," Elizabeth reached in her pocket and pulled out the picture from earlier. She smiled and handed it to me face down. "I want you to have it. It's only a photograph, so it won't disappear when I'm gone." I nodded and took the picture.

With one last smile, Elizabeth walked towards the wall and walked right through it, disappearing for who knows how long. When I looked at the clock, I didn't realize how late it was. Time just seemed to up and leave when I talked to the dead. After a few moments, I flipped the photo and smiled.

It was a picture of the complete Masen family, sitting like a perfect family at a picnic. I noticed the light in Edward's eyes as he sat between his parents. He must have been around nine there. But still, he was twenty-one now and in the time I had known him, I never saw the stars that shone in his eyes from pure happiness.

* * *

**I'm really sorry about the late update. I literally had no time. The past two weeks were dance competitions and the week before that was homework, homework, homework. I'm surprised I even got this out today. I wrote this in an hour and a half so if you don't find it superb - I'm sorry. At least you know how much I really wanted to get this out and explain what has been happening in both the story and my life. Besides that, I'm hoping to get another chapter out next sunday. Not this sunday - next sunday. I'll try and keep my promise to update but please bear with me if I don't.**

**Anyways! So now you know where Elizabeth has been and the weird things that has been going on with Bella. A little ExB in this chapter - I tried to make it comforting. I also will have the picture Elizabeth gave Bella later in the story. So . . . keep your eye out for that.**

**I've gotten a lot of questions about why Bella mentions Renee so much in this story. It's because Renee has have a big part in the plot, which you will read later. It'll be huge! I'm quite excited to get started on that; I'm only in the staging process.**

**I have a Biology test tomorrow or wednesday (I don't really know which day it is anymore . . . but i'm studying my ass off) and it's worth more than my final. So that means it makes up the majority of my grade. It would mean so much to me if you prayed for me because right now I'm on edge trying to memorize the excretory system and all that. Let's hope I get over 70%, okay?**

**That's basically it. Make sure to listen to the song above. It plays a lot on the Canadian radios and I still love it. My cousins who live in the States haven't heard of it or the band so, go for the people who haven't heard this song =) Haha!**

**Okay, REVIEW MY LOVELY READERS!**

**Karina.**


	17. Chapter 16: Secrets

I can see it in your eyes, you're scared

All these things they force you to do aren't fair

I'm here to chase away these fears

Baby, we can chase away these fears

**_- I'll Run, The Cab_**

* * *

Chapter 16: Secrets

Today, Alice decided that it was about time that we all – all being Emmett, Rosalie, Edward and I – go to her and Jasper's condo for a "little" hangout. I did agree that it had been such a lengthy time since all six of us had truly had time to have fun together, but I knew Alice had something huge planned. It was _so _typical Alice to use understatements to reel us in. Of course no one excused this offer, we all loved Alice and had learned to embrace her enthusiasm.

I was excited. Actually, I was so excited that I couldn't go to sleep last night. Or maybe it was the anxiety of not knowing how Emmett would react to Edward and I dating. I knew how he almost strangled Edward – though I was pretty sure Edward was emphasizing his story – but how would he respond towards me? Hopefully he wouldn't take me in a room and give me a lecture; that would be too awkward. At least, it would be awkward for me. Oh man. I didn't even want to think about it.

Edward said he was going to pick me up, stating that it was probably safer to go together rather than alone. I agreed with him, but then again I always agreed to him. He was just so persuading.

A gust of wind filled the room, giving me the shivers. "So have you figured it out yet?"

I could see Elizabeth through the mirror, sitting properly on my bed. "Is it always going to be _that_ cold whenever you show up?" I teased.

Elizabeth chuckled. "No. I just broke out of my teaser trailer – the wind should decrease over time." I nodded my head and put a pair of earrings on. "You're avoiding the question."

"Not really," I said. "I just chose not to answer it first."

"Can you answer it now?"

I searched for the matching ring in my jewelry box. "I would if I knew what you were talking about."

Elizabeth sighed and got off the bed, making her way to my vanity. "Do you now realize why both you and Edward are good for each other?"

I looked at the mirror and shook my head. "No," I mumbled. "I'm beginning to think that there was never a day when I didn't bottle up my feelings."

"If you believe that then you'll never know how healthy Edward is for you."

"Aren't I supposed to be the one that's healthy for him?" She nodded. "Then this doesn't make any sense."

"I told you – you'll never know until you trace back to that one day. You know it, you're just not letting yourself remember," Elizabeth said.

"That's ridiculous."

Elizabeth smiled. "Good luck."

Once I blinked, Elizabeth was gone. It was like she was trying to make things more complicated than they already were. I took her visit out of my mind and finished getting ready for the get together. It was the beginning of summer – thank God. I decided a simple sundress and flats would work for the day. Hopefully it would add some color to my pale skin. Seriously, I was so pale it looked like I was sick. However, I couldn't deny that part of me also wanted to look good beside Edward.

It still boggled my mind that Edward had some sort of interest in me. And whenever he kissed me, God, it was like how did I even get there? But then I think that he probably didn't feel the same sort of passion I felt for him, and it was probably true. As much as I wanted to believe that Edward felt that way, he most likely didn't. I wasn't anything special, and Edward _deserved_ special.

A musical knock banged on my door. "Your ride is here Ms. Swan."

I smiled to myself and ran to the door, opening it with excitement. "You're so weird, Edwa –" I was interrupted with Edward's lips on mine. It was a long kiss, his smooth mouth clinging to mine as we moved our lips together. I unwillingly pulled away, needing to catch my breath. "What was that for?"

"Are you not happy with that kiss?" Edward asked playfully.

I rolled my eyes. "You're so full of it, Edward. Of course I enjoyed it. I just wondered what I did to deserve that."

Edward took my hand. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too." I noticed a bundle of envelopes sticking out of his jacket pocket and quirked an eyebrow. "What are those?"

"Your mail," Edward said as he took them out of his pocket and handing it to me. "Your neighbor told me to give it to you and then started complaining about your mailman."

"Ah, Mrs. Davies – how she never seizes to amuse me with her mail issues," I held the door open for him. "Come in, I just have to grab my coat."

"Actually, do you mind if I use your bathroom?"

I shook my head. "Not at all. I assume you know where it is."

Edward smiled. "Of course I do."

As soon as Edward fled to the bathroom, I looked through my mail. Seriously, our mailman should really get his eyes checked. If he gave my mail to Mrs. Davies one more time I swear she is going to rip him into pieces. Actually, he didn't even have to give me my mail. All I basically got was junk mail anyway . . .

I instantly groaned when I saw the floral envelope in the middle of the pile. I ripped the flap to reveal the letter inside that seemed to always unfortunately land in my hand every month.

_Dear Isabella,_

_I'm back with another monthly letter._

_I was talking to Charlie the other day and he mentioned your ex-boyfriend from so long ago. Mike, I believe his name was. Anyways, I was shocked. You never told me you had a boyfriend in high school. Honey, every mother wants to hear about her daughter's first (serious) boyfriend!_

_I know you're twenty-one now (and hopefully you're taking your legal age responsibly and not drinking too much) and have your own life to live, but I would like to know once in a while about your love life. Jesus, you could be getting married right now and I wouldn't even know about it._

_Okay, I think I'm getting ahead of myself now. I already said that you don't have to respond . . . but it's just a suggestion._

_Love always, Renee_

Like I said, I always got junk mail. I tore the letter in half and shoved it in the garbage like I always did. I ran a hand in my hair and jumped in surprise when a warm pair of arms hugged me from behind.

"What was that?" Edward asked as he kissed my hair.

"Huh? Oh, nothing. Just junk mail." I shrugged.

"Wasn't that the one in the floral envelope?"

I shifted my eyes. " . . . Yes."

"It didn't look like junk mail."

"It was. All it was selling were custom made stationeries. Kind of convenient for them to send it in a pretty envelope, right?"

Edward laughed. "That's actually really smart," He said. "Are you ready to go? I'm sure everyone is waiting for us by now, we're kind of late."

I looked at the clock and groaned. "Shit. We better go."

After I grabbed my purse, Edward led me to his car.

"You are _so _late!" Alice yelled. "But you're here now so I guess I can't really complain."

"Wow, Al. You really redeemed yourself from decorating this time," I said mockingly. Her spacious condo was filled with a wash of colorful flowers. Different flowers too – lilies, roses, tulips . . . the whole works. Not only that, but she had set up her kitchen with wine glasses and platters of food. This was like a mini wedding reception.

Edward chuckled. "It looks great, Alice," He looked around the room. "Where's Emmett?"

"He's barbequing on the patio since that's the only cooking he _can _do," Alice said, making me laugh.

"I think I'll go help him, then. I feel like I haven't seen him in months – and he's my brother."

"Try not to distract him though," I suggested. "You know how easily Emmett can burn this place down once he gets distracted."

Edward scoffed. "I'll do my best." With that, he gave me a chaste kiss and left to the back door that led to the patio. I saw Emmett give Edward a big bear hug, lifting him off the ground. Edward then punched him and laughed – they were such men.

Alice handed me a glass of wine and led me to the living room where the rest of the gang was. When I saw Rosalie and Jasper laughing about something that Alice and I had missed, it made me realize how much I had missed everyone. I had been so caught up with my own troubles with Elizabeth and Edward. Of course I knew they understood what I had been going through, but I didn't want to be a pity party.

I also realized that I had missed a lot. Alice was going on about how she was going to begin her internship in a month and Jasper was planning a vacation for the two before then. Rosalie informed me that she was going to be Alice's model whenever she needed it and Emmett was going to be a football coach for a high school not too far away from their house. I felt horrible. How could I have been so selfish?

"So, Bella," Rosalie inquired. "How are you and Edward?"

I shrugged. "Fine, I guess."

Jasper laughed. "Even I know that's a bullshit answer," He took a sip of his wine and licked his lips. "Alice has told me that you two are an item."

"We are not an item," I corrected. _I wished we were though._ "We've only been on a couple of dates and that's it."

"Yeah, that's why he kisses you every chance he gets," Alice said.

"Okay, we don't kiss _that _much."

"Mhm, that make-out session you just had really convinces me."

I sighed. "It was only a peck. That's it."

"Cut the crap, Bella," Rosalie said. "We know you like him and he likes you. You two should just stop being prudes and become official." Leave it to Rose to be the blunt one.

"Of course I like him," I said. "He gets me, and he makes me feel . . . I don't know . . . normal. I've never felt like that before. When I'm with him it's like that other side of me doesn't exist. It feels good."

The room was filled with "awe's", making me blush crimson.

"And it's so great that he knows about your secret," Alice said. I looked away and bit my lip. "He does know, doesn't he?"

"Well . . . not really," I mumbled.

"Bella!" Everyone yelled, even Jasper.

I jumped back. "I can't."

"Yes, you can," Rose stated.

I shook my head. "No, I _really _can't. From what I've learned from Elizabeth and Edward himself, he's lived with a horrible shadow for most of his life. He wants to be normal, and here I am obviously not even close to that. He's just going to walk right out of my life. I can't take it if that happens, I've already seen that happen once."

No one fully agreed with me for not telling Edward, but they understood and left the subject behind. Emmett and Edward then came back with a plate of hamburgers, and I couldn't be happier. My stomach grumbled and my feet had a mind of its own as they took to me towards the table.

"These smell great," I said.

"Thanks," Edward beamed. "Lucky I came or else Emmett would have cooked the meat dry."

"You're funny, Edward. Ever consider stand-up comedy?" Emmett asked sarcastically. "Hey, Bella," I looked up from the plate and smiled at Emmett who gave me a hug. "Do you mind if we talk?"

I nodded. "Sure thing. What did you want to talk about?"

"I meant in private," He muttered. "Follow me."

_Shit! _I thought, _I knew he was going to give me a lecture. I'm in for it now . . ._

I trailed behind Emmett as he led me to the guest room, closing the door behind me. He sat on top of the bed and patted the spot beside him. I sat down hesitantly and tapped my foot on the ground. Neither of us spoke and Emmett just stared at me. I looked at my tapping feet and sighed. Well, this was awkward.

"So," I mumbled. "You wanted to talk to me?"

Emmett nodded. "Yeah, I did." Good God, can't we just get this over with already?

"Um, what about?" I asked nervously.

I heard Emmett chuckle. "Don't be scared, Bells. I'm not going to hurt you. I wanted to talk about you and Edward is all."

"Yeah, I got that much."

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm cool with it," Emmett said. "I mean, when Edward first told me that I nearly killed him. Yeah he's my brother but you're like a sibling to me, too."

"I know. You're like a big brother to me."

"Exactly. I didn't hurt him 'cause I didn't like it – I was just being protective. I'm happy that you too found each other, though I'm not really surprised. If you think about it, you two are perfect together."

I smiled. "I wouldn't say that, but thanks."

Again it was silent, until Emmett cleared his throat. "Rose just told me that you didn't tell him yet."

"Nope," I shook my head. "I don't know if I ever will." I waited for Emmett to blow up and yell at me for not telling Edward, but he just put his arm around my shoulders.

"I don't think you should tell him," Emmett replied, shocking me. "_Yet_. Elizabeth wants you to help him first, right?" I nodded. "Then make sure that he's one hundred percent okay until you tell him. At least then you'll both know each other well enough and no one will get hurt in the process."

"You really thought this through, huh?"

"I did. Only the bet lectures for you."

I rolled my eyes. "Ha-ha," I mocked. "But thanks. That was by far the best advice I've had."

Emmett shrugged. "I try."

We left the guest room and entered the living room. I was disappointed to see that all of the hamburgers were gone, and told myself that I should have taken one with me as Emmett and I conversed, but that thought went away when a plate landed in front of me. Edward smiled and said he had saved one for me since he knew I was hungry. I thought about how lucky I was to be with a guy that thought of my wellness. It felt good to be taken care of for once.

I tried not to drink too much now that Jasper had brought out the beer. Edward stayed away from the alcohol since he was driving and claimed that he was not going to put my life in danger. Emmett of course was already at the tipsy stage, and I figured that Rose was going to be the designated driver once again. Alice and Jasper only had wine since neither of them were truly a big fan of beer.

As I picked my glass up from the table, something caught my eye. In the reflection of the glass there was a person. I knew who it was – it was Allie. Like usual, she had a different outfit on. This time, she was wearing a pair of jeans and a blazer, and black pumps to match. She also had on square framed glasses with her hair in a bun. She looked professional, like she was observing something. But still, I could see those scars on her wrist, more prominent than ever.

It got cold as she walked towards me, or it _looked_ like she was advancing. I was after all still staring at the reflection in the glass. Goosebumps were forming on my skin as I looked at how fresh her scars looked. When it looked like she was right behind me I spun. Allie wasn't there.

"Hey, are you okay?" Edward asked, putting his arm around me. "Jesus, you're freezing!" He began to rub my arms gently.

"I'm fine. I just spaced out for a bit," I blushed.

But I couldn't help but wonder if what happened to Elizabeth happened to Allie. It might have happened. It was May and prom could have happened at any time of the month. It was peculiar as to why she was showing up after all this time, especially since the last time we spoke I had an outburst. Still, imagining Allie killing herself over and over again for a whole day seemed awful. It was heartbreaking thinking of Elizabeth going through it, but I don't know. Allie just seemed so much more vulnerable than she did a few months ago.

Well, all bitches have a soft side. I was pretty sure that Allie had one, too. Even if she was a freak who liked to stalk me through wine glasses.

* * *

**Yeah I know - this chapter sucks major ass. I'm sorry, but for some reason I just couldn't get it right. This is probably . . . the 5th draft of this chapter and I'm _still _not happy with it. To console myself, I like to think that this is more of a filler. And to be honest - it is. There are tiny hints in this chapter for the future, some of which are probably more apparent than others. I'll give you a little clue . . . _Listen to the song.  
_**

**Besides that, I haven't done a lot of updates or previews or whatever because it's competition (dance, if you're wondering) season. I've done three in the past three weeks and I have one more. I start Thursday all the way through Sunday so I'm sorry; no update next Sunday. Most likely I'll get one out the week after, but yeah. Not to mention I SERIOUSLY need to bring my biology mark up. Jesus, I suck. I have like a 60 average right now. . . fml. And my math is probably heading in that direction (though that is expected) so I need to focus. It's may, I have two more months of school and it's officially slack time for students. I'M NOT GOING TO LET THAT HAPPEN TO ME. NO SIR! Haha.**

**Nothing really else to say but UPDATE MY LOVELY READERS! ILY!**

**Karina.**


	18. Chapter 17: Memories

**___what a waste of time, the thought crossed my mind_**

**_that i never missed a beat_**

**_can't explain the who or the what i was_**

**_trying to believe what you would do_**

**_do you know_**

**_i once had a grip on everything_**

**_it feels better to let go_**

_**- I'm Not Over, Carolina Liar**_

_**

* * *

**_

Chapter 17: Memories

"I just wanted to thank you again for bailing me out," Jenna Jackson said as she took a sip of her coffee. "I still get weird looks in my classes and whispers saying how I'm crazy. But I know that you saw her so I guess it makes me feel a little better."

Jenna had asked me to have coffee with her the other day, something about how she just needed to talk about what happened. I said yes immediately. Poor college girl didn't fully know what she saw, and I was going to make sure she wasn't going to find out. She got to have a normal life; she didn't need the crap she had gone through.

"You know, Jenna, if your classmates are treating you wrongfully you should confront them," I said.

Jenna shrugged and sighed. "I know I should, but what if I don't have to? This should all die down some time."

"_Some time,_" I repeated, exaggerating her words. "They are naïve and won't stop until you give them the 'fuck off'."

Jenna laughed.

"Aren't classes out already? It's the middle of May."

She nodded. "Yeah – I had my exams two weeks ago. Right now I'm just taking prep courses for the summer classes I'm taking. I have a lot going on this coming fall semester and I'm trying to lessen the load."

"I see. But if they taunt you more than they should – and they shouldn't be taunting you at all – tell them off. I had to go through the same thing you did once."

"Really?" Jenna asked.

I nodded. "It was sophomore year of high school. I was really shy back then."

"I would have _never _thought that."

I blushed. "Well, after what happened I sort of learned to stick up for myself."

"What did happen?"

I smiled timidly and cupped my hand around the mug. "I knew this guy, his name was Landon, and he was a little older than me. After all the crap that went down at my house he was always there for me. He knew what I was going through. But one night he was drunk and he tried to kiss me and I refused. He began throwing things at me, which cut me and bruised me. I didn't say anything – I was afraid I would lose the person I could confide in.

But one day when he tried to kiss me again I said no. I didn't feel the same way and he flipped and started yelling at me and using my weaknesses to get to me. That was it; I just exploded and told him off. It was kind of an eye-opening experience. I now know that I and no one else deserves to be treated like that, which is why you should stand up for yourself."

"That must have been horrifying." Jenna said.

I nodded. "It was at the time. I'm not going to lie."

"I'll talk to my classmates, it's not fair to me and I don't want to be treated badly for a lie they believe." Jenna looked at her watched and jumped up from the table. "Oh gosh, it's quarter to three. I better get going to class."

"Kick ass, Jenna."

She smiled and hugged me. "Thanks. I'll talk to you soon."

I took the subway home and all I could think of was the meeting I had with Jenna. No matter how hard I tried to focus on something else, my mind centered on that conversation. Not only that, but what happened when I still lived in Phoenix and how it related to that topic. I didn't even realize it before, but now that I did, I was scared. It had been such a long time ago I didn't notice anything or how it began.

_Just run from it, Bella. You have been for the past six years, why stop now?_

But that was what I was trying to do – escape from it and pray to God that it wouldn't swallow me whole. It was so much stronger than me and there was nowhere left to hide.

I speed-walked to my apartment, slamming the door behind me. I had heavy breaths, clearly showing how out of shape I was. All I had to do now was wait for Elizabeth. She would come. I wasn't even sure how long I was waiting for her as I sat on top of my bed with my legs crossed. I had my coat on still as I sat on the purple covers with my arms wrapped around a pillow.

"So you finally figured it out, Bella," Elizabeth said.

"Unfortunately," I mumbled. "Why do you want me to remember so badly?"

"Because after meeting you I've felt that you are like a daughter to me, and I worry about you. You don't even stop to care for yourself, darling. It's painful to watch. Edward is becoming happier and happier and he is slowly letting go of me – I can feel it. You've done your job. Let Edward do his."

I swallowed. "There's a reason I've been blocking my feelings, Elizabeth," I wiped away a tear from my cheek and sighed. "They always bring out the worst."

"Not always," She replied as I grimaced. "When did you remember?"

"When I told Jenna the story about Landon. I told her about how he was my friend and that he was the reason I learned to stand up for myself."

"But that was a lie."  
I looked up from my tear filled palms. "Of course I lied. I couldn't tell her what really happened – she looks up to me."

Elizabeth sat down and wrapped an arm around me. "Then what really happened, Bella?"

"_Linear Regression," Mr. Lloyd said across to the classroom as he held up his calculator. "It's not hard as long as you use a graphing calculator. So take them out and let's start typing."_

_Everyone groaned – including me._

"_Psst. Bella!" The male voice whispered. I didn't reply. "Bella!"_

_I ignored the voice because one, he was a ghost and no one but me saw him and second, because I was done with helping Landon Boire. He was twenty when he died from a car accident in the 1970's. He was handsome and very charming, but also abusive. Landon had wanted me to help him find his body since his car swerved off a cliff._

_It wouldn't have been a problem if only he remembered which cliff he drove off._

_I tried helping him for months but we couldn't find it. So the other week I told him that I could not help him and that he would have to find someone else who was more powerful than I. He got angry and threw things at me – which I didn't even know was possible._

"_Bella," Landon whispered again. "I found my body! After all this time I found it."_

_That caught my attention and I raised my hand._

"_Yes, Bella?" Mr. Lloyd asked._

"_Um, may I go to the bathroom?" He nodded his head and I got out of my desk._

_I headed for the bathroom where I knew no one would go to since the best one was on the other side of the school. This bathroom was in dire need of a paint job and possibly new sinks. It was gross – but it would have to do for now. I slipped inside and checked if anyone else was in the bathroom as well. There was no one, just like I had expected._

"_Landon!" I said. He appeared in front of me. "Where did you find . . . you?"_

"_In the ditch just twenty minutes from here. Turns out I didn't drive off a cliff – just a deep ditch." I saw a bright light beam from behind him. "Oh my God, is that . . ."_

_I smiled. "Yeah, that's the famous white light. It's your time to go."_

_He looked to it and sighed. "Finally, after almost thirty years I can rest. Look, I'm really sorry about throwing things at you, I was just frustrated."_

"_Don't worry about it. Now go, before the light leaves you behind."_

"_Right." He took one step in and looked back. "Thanks, Bella."_

_I waved at him and watched the bright light as it consumed him_

_I left school, not even bothering to tell Mr. Lloyd a decent excuse. Landon left me a piece of paper with directions on it that was only walking distance. That was a good thing since I didn't have my license yet. It was blistering hot in Phoenix and I regretted wearing jeans, but I tried to ignore it._

_When I found the ditch, I cursed myself for not finding it sooner. I mean, how could I not have guessed it? It was right beside the road and it was huge!_

_After an hour I had to plot a scene where it looked like I dropped my shoe. My excuse was that I couldn't walk home without it since I pulled a muscle in my foot.. I made myself look a little messy and tried making it seem like while I was trying to get my shoe, I tripped and found a car buried beneath the earth. It was a lot of work, but it looked pretty decent. I then called the police._

_They arrived two minutes later with an ambulance and a fire truck. The firemen got me out of the steep ditch and then left me with the paramedics to check if I was okay. It was awkward for them to check me even though I was perfectly fine, but I had to make it look real. The police began digging up the ground where it was revealed a black Chevrolet Impala had been there unnoticed. They also found skeleton bones and took it in for evidence. I knew they would figure out that it was Landon. I just hoped they found out sooner so they could tell his family._

_What I didn't expect were the journalists. They surrounded me with their questions and I answered them as best as I could without revealing anything personal. One of the police officers realized how nervous I was and sent them off, thank God._

_It was around six o'clock when I got home with dirty jeans and muddy shoes. Mom didn't acknowledge me since she was cooking dinner, so I swiftly headed to my room to get changed and relax. All I could think of was how Landon had actually moved on after three months of interrogating me. It was weird not sitting in front of the computer screen with him behind me and finding anything about his car. And when Mom called me down for dinner, I declined, saying I was tired. I then put in my iPod and closed my eyes as I covered myself with the covers._

_The next morning, Mom slammed the newspaper in front of me. "What is this?"_

_I raised an eyebrow. "A newspaper?"_

_She sighed and pointed at the headline: '16-year-old finds missing body'. I read further and internally groaned. They gave my name and the whole scenario of what happened. "Were you helping one of Them, Bella?"_

_I nodded. "Yes. But I didn't think that the newspaper was going to be there, and when they did show up I thought I was going to be anonymous."_

"_Well obviously you're not anonymous. You know what could have happened if they found out about your secret? Bad things would happen."_

"_I'm aware of that," I said. "But Landon took me out of class because he found his body. I couldn't refuse. After so many months . . ."_

"_Hold on a second," Mom said, holding up her hand. "You left school?"_

_Crap. "Um, yeah. But it was important."_

"_A ghost is more important than your education? That's fantastic!" She spat._

_I narrowed my eyes. "Who do you think you are? You have no idea what I have to go through."_

_Mom laughed sarcastically and put her hands on her hips. "Oh, right. It's terrifying and confusing. Well you're not the only one who has to go through shit. Suck it up!"_

"_It's not the same! It's –"_

"_I don't want to hear it!" She yelled. "I have to work in order to pay the bills since Phil isn't making as much. Then I come home and cook dinner for three when it's mostly only Phil and I who are at the dinner table. I try to connect with you but all you talk about are the things you see and how it's so time consuming. If you weren't so selfish you would see that the world doesn't revolve around you."_

_I swallowed my tears. "I talk to you about those things because as your daughter, I want to connect with you in some way."_

"_Well stop it! No one needs to hear about your feelings 24/7."_

_With that, Mom took a bottle of vodka out of the cupboard and left the kitchen. I sat there, staring at the counter and trying not to cry, just like she told me to._

By this time I was bawling. Elizabeth was gone and all that was left was the memory that I never wanted to remember. I punched the pillow multiple times and ran a hand through my hair. I couldn't decide whether or not to call Alice or Rosalie for advice, or to just not call at all. With the phone in my hands I dialed the number I wanted to confide in and listened as it rang. To my disappointment, it went straight to voice mail.

I tried my hardest to talk with whimpering. "It's Bella. When you get this could you please come over? I really need you right now." I hung up and groaned.

The day went by and I still sat on my bed and cried. I fiddled with my fingers and bit my lip. It was nearly five in the afternoon when I heard a knock on the door. I got up from the bed and walked with my hands crossed over my chest. My bottom lip was quivering now that I wasn't biting it. Before I opened the door I took a deep breath and wiped away excess tears.

"Hey," I said with a bittersweet smile as I looked into the gentle green eyes I knew so well.

"I got your message, what's up?" Edward asked with his eyebrows furrowed together. When I let out an unwanted sob his face softened. "What happened?" Before I could answer, more tears escaped and I was lost at words. "Sh, it's okay."

Edward carried me to the sofa and sat down so that I was lying on his lap. I cried into his shirt as he stroked my hair.

"I'm sorry," I said once the crying settled a bit.

"Don't be. You shouldn't have to apologize for something that made you upset," Edward mumbled into my hair. "Would you like to talk about it?"

"It's a long story."

"That's okay, I'm a good listener."

I told him about my relationship with Renee and how we were barely on speaking terms. It was weird talking about it; I never usually spilled my feelings about Renee often. Edward listened contently as I told him how she told me that she didn't care about my feelings and that she sent me away a week later. I explained each letter that I got from her and how I never replied because I felt that she didn't deserve an answer. When I was done Edward wiped away the last of the tears and kissed my forehead.

"I just feel like she abandoned me, and she hardly feels sorry for it," I whispered.

"You don't know that," he said. "Maybe she's realizes her mistakes and is trying to reconnect."

"That's exactly what she's doing. But that doesn't mean I also want to reconnect."

"If you don't mind me asking, but what started this whole issue?" I froze. Should I tell him the truth? Should I tell Edward about my secret?

_Do it, _I thought to myself. _This is the best opportunity to tell him._

"Um," I sighed. "We just didn't agree on a lot of things and it just got worse over time."

I wanted to scream – I could have told him. But it was too late, the opportunity was gone and the lie was already said.

"Well, I'm here for you. I'll never leave your side," Edward whispered before kissing me chastely on the lips.

"I know, and I appreciate that."

From the corner of my eye I saw Elizabeth standing by the counter, smiling. Her mouth formed the words "I told you" just before she vanished. I didn't need to be told twice, I already knew it once Edward took me in his arms. He helped me throughout this obstacle and I was grateful. But Elizabeth was right, too. If I didn't remember what convinced me to hide my feelings, I never would have realized how much I needed Edward in my life.

I also would never had realized how in love I was with him.

* * *

**So I am back, and it feels good to be updating again. Competition is over so that's one load off my shoulders, now school is becoming an even bigger ass since finals is next month and teachers think it's fine to increase the work. Sigh. But hey, I have so many things lined up for this story that it isn't even funny. So . . . watch out for that!**

**I really hope that this chapter explained a lot of why Bella hates her mom so much. And yes, Bella finally realizes that she loves Edward. However, this only brings more complications into the story.**

**Hmm, that's kinda it. Oh no wait! I watched Letters to Juliet on Friday and I really REALLY loved it. I suggest you guys watch it. It's truly a chick flick movie so, if you're not really into that then you don't have to. But still - it was so incredibly cute! Not to mention the guy who plays Charlie is sexy, Christopher Egan, I think his name was. LOL.**

**Alrighty, until next time you guys,**

**Karina**

_**PS: Don't forget to review my lovely, wonderful readers =)**_


	19. Chapter 18: Requited

_**We watch the season pull up its own stakes**_

_**And catch the last weekend of the last week**_

_**Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,**_

_**Another sun soaked season fades away**_

_**You have stolen my heart**_

_**- - Stolen, Dashboard Confessional**_

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Chapter 18: Requited

"Oh this is so exciting!" Elizabeth cheered as Alice and I decorated the cake. "My little boy is turning twenty-two! I feel kind of old. Ironic, right?"

I chuckled. "Just a little."

Alice nudged me. "Is that Elizabeth?" I nodded and Alice smiled widely. "Hi, Elizabeth! I'm so glad you came."

Elizabeth replied, and being the translator I said, "She says hello, and that she's really happy she came as well."

"Hey, you three!" Alice yelled at Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper, who were decorating Edward's apartment. "Elizabeth is here!"  
All three came in and said their greetings, having an occasional conversation. Granted they were talking through me, but I didn't mind. Elizabeth was the only ghost my friends were comfortable around. It was a good thing seeing as how she was also the only ghost I had really grown close to over the time we had known each other. We had gotten especially fond of each other since Edward and I were dating, and the fact that she was fine with it made it easier to talk about him.

Elizabeth was aware of me not telling Edward about what I could see, and she didn't fully agree, but she understood. And that was basically all I needed – a mother who could understand me. I felt like Elizabeth had become a mother figure to me, or like a mother I never had. It was only fair that I invited her to Edward's surprise party. She would have shown up anyway, but I thought it would have meant something more significant if she showed up because of an invitation.

Also, Elizabeth was curious to see Edward's adopted parents. To clarify, she had seen them before, but only from a distance. She explained to me that she was hesitant, and a little jealous, to watch the people raising her son. She didn't know how they acted or how they thought – and she was ready to learn. It was a big stepping-stone for Elizabeth, and she was purely, and genuinely excited.

I, on the other hand, was scared shitless. I was meeting Edward's parents for the first time. Elizabeth was different because I had met her barely knowing Edward. But at this moment in time I knew Edward very well, and I was afraid his parents wouldn't approve of me. Emmett kept on saying how they would adore me, and in some way I guess I should believe him since they are his parents as well, but I wasn't too sure. They approved Rosalie, and she was gorgeous and charismatic. However, I wasn't up to par, and definitely was not all that intriguing.

"You'll be fine," Rosalie said. She put an arm around me and sighed. "You have nothing at all to worry about – Carlisle and Esme are the most humble people I know."

"So I've been told," I mumbled. "But what if they don't think I'm good enough for Edward. I know we're not officially an item but we're still dating. What if they don't like the idea of us going to romantic dinners or taking walks through Central Park?"

Rose inwardly scoffed. "You're over analyzing this. Just relax and be yourself."

"This isn't high school, Rose. This is scarier."

"Just breathe," Just then, the doorbell rang. _They were here, _"Breathe, Bella," Rose repeated before she left to answer the door. I could hear her conversing with the Cullen's like they were the best of friends. Rosalie made everything always look _so_ easy.

_Just go, Bella. Pick up your ass and greet yourself!_

Well, here went nothing. I looked at my reflection in the microwave and made sure my hair was in order and there was nothing in my teeth. I shook my hands and then left the kitchen, putting on my best smile. At the door were the Cullen's, looking no older than mid-thirties. Mr. Cullen had blonde hair and blue eyes, and a face that belonged on a cologne ad – he was _that _good-looking. On his arm was Mrs. Cullen with her light brown hair and gentle face. They were a beautiful couple, which only made it more intimidating.

"Hi," I said, extending my hand. "I'm Bella."

"Oh, so _you're _Bella," Mr. Cullen said, with a small smile. He took my hand and gave it a shake. "I'm Carlisle."

I averted my eyes to Mrs. Cullen, who surprised me by giving me a hug instead of taking my hand. "I'm Esme," She said as she released me. "I'm so glad to finally meet you! Edward speaks to the world of you."

I blushed. "Well, I'm glad to finally meet you, and happy that you two could come."

"Why wouldn't we come?" Esme said. "It's Edward's 22nd birthday. Wow, I feel old."

From a distance, I could Elizabeth's enchanting laugh.

"I actually have to finish decorating the cake so if you don't mind . . ."

"Oh no, dear! We don't mind at all. Actually, how about I help you out a bit? You've already done so much."

"You don't have to do that."

"Yes, I do," Esme said. "I owe you for doing so much for Edward."

I smiled, not really knowing how to respond to such a wonderful compliment. "Okay."

Esme and I made our way to the kitchen, and when I glanced back at Carlisle, I saw an undefined expression on his face. He saw me watching him and he looked away, walking towards Emmett and Rosalie with a smile on his face.

"Carlisle doesn't like me very much, huh?" I stated.

Elizabeth tasted some of the icing and said, "It's not that, Bella. He's just being a father – protective of his son. Edward hasn't had it very easy, and Carlisle just wants to make sure that the girl he's seeing is someone that makes him happy."

I grimaced. "Well, I hope I make the cut."

"You do in my books," She said. "Every single time Edward calls us, he gushes about you. He sounds happier than I ever have heard him before. Carlisle notices it, too. He's just a little hesitant about it all, that's why."

"Is it because of what happened to Allie?"

Esme smiled sympathetically and dotted some icing on the cake. "Yes. When Allie killed herself, it was a whole level of suffering for Edward – that boy blames himself for everything. Oh, sure, he's okay now. But he hasn't been so open with a woman since then. Do you kind of see why Carlisle is being apprehensive?"

I nodded my head. "It's understandable. And at least I know it's not because he doesn't approve."

"It's the opposite, Bella. Take it from the woman whose been married to him for fifteen years."

Alice left to retrieve her camera since she forgot it at her condo, while Jasper, Emmett and Rose had a conversation with Carlisle. They stayed by the window to monitor Edward's arrival – which was probably within the hour. Esme and I had a conversation of our own on the couch. She told me many stories about Edward growing up and how difficult it was for him to accept her and Carlisle. I was intrigued as she narrated the ups and downs of their family, and how Emmett always seemed to be the peacemaker. It was weird hearing about Edward's rebellious days. But some of the embarrassing moments made me laugh so hard my stomach hurt.

Alice then arrived with a camera in hand, but also a worried look on her face. "Edward's coming!"

"What?" Emmett said. "But I didn't see him walking up on his way here."

"You don't notice a lot of things, Em," Alice retorted. "_Everyone_ _must hide!_"

We scattered all over the place. I only saw Rosalie hide behind the couch with Emmett and as for everyone else, I wasn't too sure. I hid behind the curtain – how original. But the lights were off so I guessed it wasn't _that _bad of a hiding spot. There were many snickers and many "shut ups". It seemed like forever for Edward to open his door and step in. Actually, I'm pretty sure we were all hiding for a good fifteen minutes before the lock clicked. I heard Edward sigh and open the lights when we all jumped out.

"Surprise!"

Edward jumped and put his hand to his heart. "Holy shit!"

Esme and Carlisle then came in with the birthday cake and we all sang the birthday song. I wasn't sure how many pictures Alice had taken in those five minutes, but it was plenty. In the corner of the room, I could see Elizabeth crying. It wasn't until I saw her smiling that I figured that it was happy tears. I acknowledged her with a slight smile before Edward came up to me and planted a soft kiss on my lips

"I knew you were up to something," He murmured against my mouth, kissing me again.

I laughed. "You're parents are here, Edward. I'm sure they want to be noticed as well."

"She's right," Carlisle said. Edward turned, putting his hand around my waist. "Happy birthday, son."

"Thanks, Dad," Edward released me to give Esme and Carlisle a hug, "It's good to see you, Mom. I can't believe that the both of you are here in New York!"

Carlisle laughed, a look of happiness that I had not yet seen. "We've missed you, Edward. At least when Emmett left there was still two men left in the house."

Emmett scoffed. "Thanks, Dad. It's your kind of fatherly love that gets me through the day."

"As I was saying," Carlisle chuckled. "Now there's only your mother and I – and she orders me around like the Queen." Esme nudged him and shook her head.

This was such a loving family, and I was inwardly jealous. Never had I once had such a nice greeting on my birthday. It would only be a quiet "Happy Birthday" from Renee and a breakfast-in-bed from Charlie that my aging was ever acknowledged. If someone threw a surprise party for me, I wouldn't be surprised if neither of my parents showed up. Yet here was Edward, his adopted parents coming all the way from Chicago to celebrate his birthday without hesitation.

_Suck it up, Bella. This is Edward's special day – don't screw it up._

I knew when to tell people how I felt and I was slowly getting better at not bottling my thoughts and setting it off to sea, but for this day, I had to compose myself. With that being thought, I put on a smile and told Edward to blow his birthday candles. And as he let out a breath, Alice took another picture.

During presents, I was sure that Elizabeth was somewhere in the apartment, she just needed a moment. I didn't look for her – I thought that she would need some time for herself. In that time, Edward had received a _Best Buy _gift card from Emmett and a bottle of cologne from Rosalie, a camera from Jasper and Alice, and plane tickets to Chicago from Esme and Carlisle.

"You can see that there are two tickets," Esme said. "I think you know what to do with the other one."

Edward flashed another one of his perfect-imperfect smiles at me, making me blush. "I sure do."

_Holy crap, did that mean he wanted to take me with him to Chicago?_

That smile told me that he did, and I couldn't help but fall a little more for him. In my peripheral I saw Elizabeth calling me. I then excused myself to the kitchen and hesitantly made my way towards her. She had stopped crying and there was a soft smile on her lips, but something was still wrong.

"It looks like everyone is having a good time. Especially Edward," Elizabeth whispered.

I nodded. "Yeah, I think it's because Carlisle and Esme are here," I leaned against the counter and ran a hand through my hair. "Look, Elizabeth, if seeing them hurts you too much you don't have to stay . . ."

"What? No!" Elizabeth shook her head and laughed quietly. "It brings me joy knowing that these people were the ones to raise my little Edward. They are kind and loving and very good people."

"Then what's the matter?"

Elizabeth sighed. "It's just kind of odd to hear Edward call Mr. and Mrs. Cullen _mom _and _dad. _I'm so used to him calling me his mother and Edward Sr. his father."

"You know that just because he calls Esme and Carlisle his parents doesn't mean he replaced you and your husband. He still loves you, I can tell."

"Thank you, Bella. I needed to hear that," She said. "But back to the _real _reason I called you over here. It's about Allie."

My heart stopped. "What _about _Allie?"

"I learned something very important and it's essential that you hear it. Bella darling, she only wants –"

"Bella?" I whipped around and gasped, only to let out a sigh of relief when I saw it was Carlisle standing at the door of the kitchen. "I'm sorry, did I scare you?"

I scratched my back. "Not too much. You just caught me by surprise."

"Today is just full of surprises. I was actually just wondering if I could talk to you for a little bit."

I nodded. "Of course you can."

Carlisle clapped his hands together, probably thinking about what to say. I kind of wanted to tell him to say it now because I was getting anxious, but I was sure that he would tell me off for it. So I watched him pace back and forth with him rubbing his hands and taking deep breaths.

"I apologize, I'm just a little nervous," Carlisle said.

I was taken aback. "Why would you be nervous?"

Carlisle scratched his temple before saying, "I have never really met a girl that Edward has been so fixated on. It brings me happiness knowing that you're here for him."

"Oh, thank you," Was all I could say.

"It's just that I genuinely worry for him," He said, pouring him a glass of water. "When we first adopted him, he was so full of angst and depression and I didn't know how to approach him. It got better as he grew up, but he still had his moments of trouble. I guess it's just a huge change to see him smile so big when I've known him for twelve years."

"I'm happy that you feel that way. I'm also happy that you don't hate me."

"Hate you? How could I hate the woman who turned Edward's life around?" Carlisle sighed. "I guess that's all I have to say. And thank you."

With that, Carlisle smiled and left the kitchen.

Throughout the rest of the night, I couldn't forget what Elizabeth was trying to say to me. What about Allie? How was this little piece of information so important? Elizabeth didn't even show up after that. She just up and vanished.

Edward and Emmett were engrossed in a conversation with their parents while Alice, Rose, Jasper and I took the liberty to clean a little so the load would be easier later. It was still fun seeing as how Alice got completely soaked from Rose passing her a pot that no one knew still had water in it, and me falling on my ass from that spilled water, but whatever, it was never a dull moment with us. However, it didn't help that Alice _still _insisted on taking a picture of her wet shirt and my wet ass.

In the end she was able to get the picture.

Everyone then said their goodbyes, including Carlisle and Esme since they would be staying at Emmett's, and wished Edward another happy birthday. The apartment that was filled with so much laughter and good times then became silent. Edward's apartment still looked like a million dollars, even with wine glasses and plates everywhere.

I picked up the dishes and began cleaning them when I saw a hand take the plate I was beginning to dry. "You rinse, I'll dry," Edward said to me.

"Fair deal," I agreed. "Did you have a good time?"

Edward chuckled. "The best. I can't believe that you would use the knowledge of my hidden key to get in here and hold a surprise party."

"And I can't believe you didn't see this coming. What, did you think I forgot your birthday?"

"Actually, I did."

"Edward, I would never forget such a special day," I kissed his cheek and dried my hands once I finished the last of the dishes. "By the way, I have something for you."

Edward looked at my curiously. "What is it?"  
"Just come with me."

I lead him to the couch and sat him down, then retrieving the wrapped present from my purse. He was watching me, I could feel his stare. This present made me nervous, mainly because it took me weeks to figure out what was the perfect gift. Edward deserved perfect, and I was willing to give that to him. I handed it to him, and my heart beat faster when he took it in his hands. It was like I was watching him unwrap his present in slow motion. When he had gone through untying the bow and ripping the wrapping paper and had finally gotten to open the box, the fast beating of my heart stopped, waiting for his reaction.

Edward held up the glass heart that sparkled incandescently. His eyes were fixated on the crystal with an expression that was unreadable.

"I found it at a vintage store not too long ago," I said, trying to break the silence. "This man in the early 1900's gave it to his wife just before he left for battle. It represented his heart and that even though he would be miles away, she would still have his heart. I thought it was perfect because, Edward, _you_ have _my_ heart."

Edward turned his gaze to me, a smile on his lips. What I didn't expect were the kisses he planted all over my face – my forehead, my cheek, my nose, my chin, and my lips. "You have my heart, too, Bella," He murmured. "I've actually been meaning to ask you this, but, would you like to be my girlfriend?"

I smiled widely and nodded my head. "I would like that a lot."

_Allie:_

Allie watched as Edward and Bella had an intent conversation, sharing a couple of kisses here and there. She hadn't realized that she had been crying until a sob broke from her chest. She also didn't realize that Edward was capable of compassion, which made her feel even worse.

She had finally broken free and was back to the real world. Allie hated to replay her death over and over, and she especially hated that for the past five years she was able to taste eternal rest and then have it taken away from her. She never realized what she had to fulfill in order to move on, and now that she did she wasn't sure she could do it.

She blamed Edward for everything – her unrequited love, her death, her being stuck here – but Bella was right. He was broken and needed time to heal. If only she had helped him then, she would still be alive. But Allie also knew that she wouldn't have been the one to sew the seams back together; that was Bella's job. In a way, she was jealous that Bella had the opportunity and not her.

Allie felt like a self-absorbed fool and with that wiped away the traces of her tears before beginning to disappear.

"I'm sorry, Edward," Allie said. "But I can't."

* * *

**Hello, everyone! I'm not really sure who else has May long weekend, but if you do . . . I hope you all are well and safe, and of course, having a good time. On another note, since I have no life because all of my friends go to their cabins and such during may long, I decided to finish this chapter. Actually to be honest, I started writing this at 1:00 in the morning and then slept around 2:00. I began writing again at around 4:00 in the afternoon and finished an hour later. I would have posted this much sooner today but after editing, I got distracted with that clothing line _Ruche_ (seriously, check it out if you have time) and then Celebrity Apprentice came on. BLAME DONALD TRUMP! HE SHOULD BE FIRED!**

**Just kidding haha.**

**But seriously. After that I was watching Hannah Montana (Yeah, I know. I'm too cool.) and then I remembered that I had to post this up. Which is a good thing! Because I really am satisfied with this chapter, which doesn't happen too much. Remember, now that they're an item doesn't exactly mean they said 'I love you'. Of course Bella is too much of a nervous wreck to say it, not to mention she's not even sure that Edward feels that intensity. I know you want them to say it already . . . but . . . you have to wait.**

**I hope the little Allie POV satisfied your souls a bit. I remembered some of you wanted to know what went on in her mind after the whole wine glass scenario. So, here it is! Just a tad bit - the rest is for later on! Ah! I'm so excited for that part!**

**Other than that, I want to thank a bunch of you who read my other story, _Our Lyrics, _after reading this story. It means so much to me that you read another one of my stories because you like my writing. It seriously is surreal to me since I think that I'm not that good and a lot could be improved, but it's your support that keeps my spirits high!**

**This is a really long A/N, and I'm much too lazy to edit it so . . . if there are any mistakes I apologize haha!**

**Please review my lovely, wonderful, AMAZING readers.**

**Much love, Karina.**

**P.S: Can you tell I'm in a good mood? =)**


	20. Chapter 19: Illusion

**Should've held my ground**

**I could've been redeemed**

**For every second chance**

**That changed its mind on me,**

**I should've spoken up**

**I should've proudly claimed**

**That oh my head's to blame**

**For all my hearts mistakes**

**But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made**

_**- The Mess I Made, Parachute

* * *

**_

Chapter 19: Illusion

I was on cloud nine – here I was, in Edward's arms as his girlfriend. I lied on his chest as he stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. We talked about – almost – everything and every time he laughed, I could feel his body shake. This was such a beautiful, _normal _moment I swore I could have been dreaming. My mind backtracked to a time when I actually felt normal with myself. However, I couldn't find anything. Maybe it was because there wasn't _ever _a time where I was normal, or even remotely possible to that feeling. Being here with Edward, he made me feel wanted – something that had never really been presented in my life.

"Tell me about your last relationship," Edward said, still stroking my hair.

I sighed. "It's not that exciting – trust me."

"I want to hear about it, I've told you about mine."

"That's because you needed an outlet about how she killed herself," I replied, thinking to myself how much I really knew about Allie. "My ex was just . . . well, he was kind of pathetic to be honest. Do you _really _want to hear about it?'

Edward kissed my temple and muttered, "Yeah, I do."

I laughed to myself and took Edward's hand in mine, lacing our fingers. "As you know, Renee sent me to live with my dad in Forks. It was such a small town – I didn't have any friends and since my dad was the Chef of Police, he was always out," I sighed and continued, "One night I was just fed up with everything and decided to take a walk through the woods, only to get lost. That's when I met Mike; he found me.

He was nice to me, and was on the football team. We hung out quite a bit after that and then dated. Our relationship was nice at first, but throughout the year, I realized that he was a complete, and utter loser. He didn't really pay attention to me or give me the care that was needed in a relationship. So I went over to his house, only to see him making out with another girl through his window."

"Oh, Bella," Edward said, interrupting me. "I'm sorry – you didn't deserve that."

"It's okay, to be frank, I was happy. He just made the whole break up scene a lot easier. I'm not going to lie – I acted like I was depressed and shit, but I wasn't. I was cheering on the inside. After that whole entire scene, Mike never talked to me again. Probably embarrassed for getting caught, or afraid that my dad would drop kick his ass."

Edward's chest shook from laughter, making me giggle. It was silent, but it was comfortable. The only sound was our breathing, which was so in sync I smiled. The thought of Edward being my boyfriend still made me giddy. He was so perfect compared to Mike, and I wondered how I could have gotten this. Seriously, from Mike to Edward, this was a big leap. I could only think that maybe after everything I had seen, this was a trade.

"You make me happy, Bella," Edward mumbled. "I haven't been this happy in a long time."

I looked at him with questioning eyes. "When was the last time you'd been . . .?"

"Happy?" I nodded. "When my parents and I went camping for my birthday. I was perfectly content – and not because our version of camping was a trailer with cable, a shower and facilities. It was because that was the first time we had ever spent time together as a family. My dad was always busy with work, and my mom and I barely ever saw him. So when we went camping – it was like I saw my dad for the first time."

"I'm sorry, Edward," I whispered.

"What are you sorry for?"

"That you had gone through so much in such little time."

"It's okay," He said. "I'm making up for it by being with you."

It was things like that that made me feel so self-centered. Here I was, complaining about what I was able to see, and how Renee kicked me out of her house while Edward's parents died. He saw Elizabeth's corpse and learned about Allie's suicide on graduation day, and all this time he blamed himself. I had no doubt that he still put the weight on his shoulders, but I could tell he was getting better. The gratifying thought was that maybe I was the one who brought back the pieces of his life back together.

That's when I saw her, hiding behind the corner of the wall. She was wearing a white ball gown that was a little dirty on the bottom from dragging on the ground. Her skin was so pale, like she was sick. Her soulful blue eyes were filled with tears, and her mascara was running. Even with her auburn hair falling out of its professional style, she was gorgeous. But then again, Allie was always gorgeous, even though she was dead.

What was she doing here?

"_I'm sorry, Edward," She mumbled, trying to stop the tears streaking her cheeks, "But I can't."_

Allie caught me watching her and disappeared hastily with wide eyes. I swore this girl was bipolar. First she appears telling me to stay away from Edward and threatening me with blood, then she tells me to go to him even though I was scared shitless for what I felt for him. When I tell her to leave me alone, she then shows up a month later, stalking me through a wine glass. And now here she was on Edward's birthday saying how 'she can't'. Can't what? That bitch had it coming for her if she was going to break Edward again . . .

"Bella?" Edward whispered in my ear, making me jump slightly, "Are you all right?"

I looked at the corner again to make sure Allie wasn't in sight. "Um, yeah. I guess I'm just a little tired. I should probably go home."

"Okay, I'll drive you to your apartment."

"No, Edward," I said to him, putting my hand on his chest as a gesture for him to stay. "It's your birthday – enjoy some time with yourself."

Edward shook his head, grabbing his keys out of his pocket. "I'm driving you; I don't feel safe with you going on your own this late at night."

I chuckled and held his hand, kissing his knuckles. "I'll be fine. I will call you once I get home, I promise," I let go of his hand and slipped on my coat. "Have some cake, I worked my ass off making it for you," I teased.

"Okay, I will. But I swear to God – if I don't hear you in the next hour and a half . . ."

"Happy birthday," I cut him off with a kiss on the lips. I didn't want to part, but I knew if I didn't I'd never leave. "I'll call you."

And with that, I shut the door behind me with the widest smile.

Surprisingly, I was able to catch a cab. The driver was a total pervert, since he kept on looking at my chest every chance he got, but I guess I wasn't completely surprised that a creep would work this late at night. Instead of watching out for the cab driver's glances, I looked out the window – watching the transition from the new, clean community to the older side of New York. Edward and I lived in two different worlds, him being the one who lived the expensive condos and I the one in the beat up apartment, and he didn't even act snotty with his money. Not like Mike, who bragged bout his cash every single time he got an allowance – which was once a week.

I paid the driver as swiftly as I could and ran out of the car, almost tripping over my feet. I touched the door handle of the building and came to a stop; everything seemed different. It seemed _better. _It was like my senses were testing me with the smell of fresh cut grass and the wind hugging me with its chilled arms. Since when did New York become a place of peace? Or maybe it was just I.

"Good evening, Miss Bella," Roberto, the janitor, said to me in his Italian accent. "Glad to see you're home safe,"

"Thanks, Roberto. You have a good night now."

He nodded and waved, just as I got into the elevator. My eyes were beginning to droop once I got to my level, and I trudged my way over to my apartment. I sighed and unlocked my door, suddenly feeling like I was about to crash. It was already one in the morning – Edward would be calling me in fifteen minutes. I decided to save him the trouble and called him like I promise I would.

"Bella?" Edward answered on the first ring, his voice sounding husky from drowsiness.

"Hey," I mumbled, hearing my own lethargic voice begin to crack. "I'm just about to go to bed – you can relax now."

I heard him chuckle. "I'm glad you're safe. I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"Sounds good."

"Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams, Edward."

I hung up the phone and rubbed my eyes. I struggle keeping my eyes open as I watched my face and brushed my teeth before slipping into my pajamas. I had forgotten how hot it got in the summer, and turned on the air conditioning. The apartment was silent as I climbed into bed. It didn't take long for me to get comfortable, because once my head hit the pillow; I was out like a light.

That was until I felt a light tap on my forehead.

I groaned and slapped the hand away; sleep was the only priority I had in mind. The tapping started again, but this time on my shoulder. I kept on ignoring it but the tapping was consistent, going back and forth to my forehead and my shoulder. It got to the point where I wanted to kill someone.

"Come on," I cried. "Let me sleep – you can annoy me in the morning."

The person heaved. "You _are _asleep. Just open your eyes."

I squinted my eyes open, and jumped back. I was lying beside my body, like _right beside _my body. "What the hell? Am I dead?"

"No, Bella. You're dreaming. Elizabeth isn't the only one who can enter your dreams, you know."

I lifted myself out of bed and stood, noticing how light I suddenly felt. Once again I looked at my sleeping form, and wondered if this was what it felt like, being stuck here and not able to rest. I then glanced away, only to stumble backwards from shock. Allie stood right in front of me, her striking blue eyes staring into my brown ones. Her face held no expression as she watched me regain my balance. It was like she was stone.

"Come on," Allie said, nodding towards my closet. "I want to show you something."

I _almost_ laughed. "You want to show me my clothes? I'm sorry, but I think I would know my wardrobe a little better than you . . ."

"Just follow me," She demanded. Allie turned her back, her white gown dragging on the ground as her bare feet creaked along the wooden floorboards. I followed her hesitantly, not really knowing what was going on. Then she opened my closet door and turned to me, smiling timidly. "Go inside."

_Was this a joke?_ "Um . . ."

"Do it, Bella. There's a reason as to why I'm roaming your dreams."

I nodded slowly and took a step inside. At first, I felt ridiculous walking into my sorry excuse for a closet, but once I took my second step, my mind was reeling.

This _definitely _was not my closet. Instead, I was in another bedroom. I took note of the queen sized bed with the – expensive – matching furniture around the room. There was a white board on the wall with schedules and reminders, and beside it was a corkboard, filled with papers that read quotes.

_If I had a daughter, I would name her Sky, since she would be her only limit._

_You can't face the world if you aren't being you._

_Listen to your heart; because even though it is on your left, it is always right._

Each and every single quote was hopeful, meant for motivation and happiness. I wondered how many times this person read this board, if she ever read it when she felt down and needed to cheer up.

I moved away from the wall and made my way to the vanity – full of makeup, lotions, jewelry and pictures. It wasn't until I really looked at the pictures did I realize whose room I was in. I was in Allie's room – she was the one with the quotes and the designer furniture. She was the one in the picture with her friends, and the one with the photo of her mom.

"She died when I was five," Allie said behind me. "In an accident, but I survived."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I didn't realize . . ."

She shrugged. "It's okay – it was a long time ago. I've moved on."

I nodded and walked away; it was awkward hearing this. Though I felt sympathy for her, I had also put a piece to a puzzle. Another reason why Edward and Allie had dated was because both of them had lost their moms – they felt pain in some sort of level.

I then heard someone whimper, and when I turned around, I felt stupid for not realizing what I was really supposed to see.

Allie – or, the _living_ Allie – was at her desk, crouching over a piece of paper, scribbling something in permanent marker. I bit my lip and walked hesitantly towards her, knowing that she couldn't see me. As I leaned over her, I saw what she was writing, and gasped.

_I love you is eight letters; and so is bullshit._

Though it wasn't what she was writing so much as what she scribbling _on. _Allie's tears dripped onto the wooden table, around the photo of her and Edward. It was a picture of them in a kiss – sweet and innocent. I felt a slight fire of jealousy, but it all went away when I realized why she had written that on the photo.

Allie believe that her and Edward's relationship was a lie, and for a lack of better words, bullshit. And as I watched her kill herself, crying and sobbing and praying for her pain to go away, anger bubbled inside of me. She killed herself over a relationship, pushing Edward over the edge. Allie only created another reason for Edward to hate himself and feel like he didn't deserve happiness.

"I know you hate me, Bella. But you have to understand my side of the story," Allie said.

I shook my head. "The only thing I see is you killing yourself and being the pathetic little bitch I know you are," I spat.

Allie walked over and touched her dead body's hair, sighing. "My life was never easy. I lived in a big house and had good grades and lots of friends, but I was never happy. After my mother died, I did move on, but I suffered from depression. Though my dad didn't show it, I knew he blamed me for my mother's death. It was my fault that we had to go to the grocery for last minute shopping."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said sarcastically, "May I remind you that Edward hasn't been able to come to terms with his mother's and _your _deaths. He blames himself!"

"And you don't think I don't?" She yelled, pointing at her corpse. "Moving on doesn't always mean that you forget. I _still _say 'what if I had told her to buy milk before the storm? What if I hadn't wasted all of the cereal?' It's not like I planned on that happening."

"Yet there you are," I pointed at the bleeding Allie with a scowl. "Committing suicide like no one else would be effected."

Allie frowned, a sob escaping her mouth. "If I had known the consequences, I wouldn't have done it. But you have to understand, Bella, that I was sick. The only person who knew about my depression was my dad, and he didn't really help. I never told Edward, I was too embarrassed."

"Why would you be embarrassed?"

"It's Edward Cullen," She said like it was obvious. "He is the epitome of perfect, and I was not perfect. In all honesty he didn't tell me everything either. If he did, I would have helped him. Just like you are now."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that even if I was able to help him, I lost my chance. I was depressed, and my father hated me. To me, Edward was the only one who loved me. But when I found out he didn't, it was like my world shattered, and there was nothing in this world left for me."

My anger began to simmer, though I still wanted to punch her. I sort of understood what she was getting at. With one final look at the dead body, I went through the closet and back into my room. My sleeping self was just the way I had left it before, but now I could see sweat matted on my forehead from all the stress of this dream. I didn't think twice before getting back into bed and covering myself with the blankets, and closing my eyes.

"You know, Allie," I whispered, sensing her presence by the bed. "If you're still suffering from depression, you can always come to me for help."

I heard her sigh. "Thanks, Bella. I appreciate that."

I nodded. "Is there anything else that you wanted to tell me before I go to my normal dreams?"

"Actually . . ." Allie began, only to come short. "Nothing. That's all – good night."

"Night."

Allie was hiding something, I could tell by the way she stopped mid-sentence in that _tone. _Unfortunately, I wasn't able to elaborate on her double meaning, because suddenly I was dreaming of Edward and I holding hands as we sat along a beach.

* * *

_****** PLEASE CHECK OUT THE POLL ON MY PROFILE! IT'S SUPER DUPER IMPORTANT! ******_

**Why, you may ask? The answer, my lovely readers, is that I don't know what story I should write next. I have a whole bunch of ideas, but I can't choose one. That's where you come in. If you could vote and let me know which one you would prefer, I would appreciate it. So please take a look on my profile and check out the poll. This benefits you too!**

**Back to this story! I'm sorry it took my three weeks to update. But I had job interviews and so many tests going on, not to mention the lack of sleep I've gone through in that time frame. I'm serious you guys - I'm exhausted. But still, I wrote this chapter gradually and whenever I could so the fact that it's out right now is pretty uber fantastic. Don't worry, tomorrow is my last day of classes so I'll be able to update a whole lot more frequently - possibly after the 22nd because I have to get my wisdom teeth taken out =(**

**I brought back Allie, hopefully some of you see HALF of her background story. That's right people, there's more, along with more scary-ghostly-supernatural-whateveryouwannacallit stuff! I'm so excited to write the next few parts for you guys. I've been planning this FOREVER! However, let's stick the present. I'll try to get the next chapter out soon.**

**And by the way, I got Justin Bieber tickets! YES YES YES! I'm sorry, I'm just so happy I feel the need to tell the world. I got them today and my friends and i are pretty stoked for September! Yes, we have bieber fever, and damn proud. This was completely random, but like I said, I'm too happy to bottle it up =)**

**Once again, I'll try my very hardest to update soon!**

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**Love Always,**

**Karina.**


	21. Chapter 20: Anatomy

**I find the map and draw straight line**

**Over rivers, farms, and state lines**

**The distance from 'A' to where you'd be**

**It's only finger-lengths that I see**

**I touch the place where I'd find your face**

**My fingers in creases of dark places**

**_- Set the Fire to the Third Bar, Snow Patrol_**

* * *

Chapter 20: Anatomy

"Alice," I cried, trying to escape from her grasp, "I don't want to go to _Body Worlds!"_

Alice pouted. "C'mon, Bella! Everyone says it's amazing! Let's check it out."

I shook my head once she released me. _Body Worlds _was an exhibition, filled with information about how the body works; hence the name. How they made this an exhibition? Well, the creators thought it would be interesting if they used real bodies. And no, not living people, but dead bodies. As in corpses, being preserved and being held by metal bones. The _New York Times _gave it ravishing reviews, saying how it was a 'can't miss' event.

There was a reason that I never wanted to be a doctor, and anything that involved the human body. I couldn't stand blood – my fainting during the decoration of Alice's masquerade was an example – and corpses. It was ironic since I was able to see the dead, but the only difference was that it was their spirits. Not their bodies.

"Seriously, Al. You know how I feel about those kinds of things."

"Yes, but everyone is going. Even Edward."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Don't play that game with me," She scoffed. "You guys never do anything apart. It's so _cute! _But seriously, are you trying to tell me that even if he's going you refuse to as well?"

I nodded. "Yup. I'm sorry, but I seriously cannot fathom being in the same room with . . . that."

Alice sighed. "Okay, fine. I guess I can't force you to go. So we'll see you when we get back?"

"For sure. Now go – go have fun looking at corpses."

Alice rolled her eyes and hugged me before leaving my apartment. I really didn't like disappointing Alice, and she knew that. But she also knew how much this exhibit bothered me. Not to mention I had even _more _things to worry about after my encounter with Allie the other night. I had to figure out what the hell was going on first before anything else, or else I might go insane; or more insane than I already was.

Unfortunately, Allie wasn't easy to summon. When I say summon, I mean calling her name and yelling profanities. She was almost as stubborn as I was, and I guess that kind of gave her the advantage of being 'hard to get'. Ugh, she was a bitch. A bitch that was coincidentally linked to Edward, and no matter how much I wanted to rid of her, she came in handy.

In the lighter side of things, Elizabeth _was _easier to call upon, and I liked to think it was because of her gentle and kind nature.

"Elizabeth," I called hesitantly. It had been a while since I summoned a ghost – I couldn't even remember the last time I had. "Elizabeth, I need your help."

That was all it took for the light in the room to become dull, and the air as cold and dry as the Arctic. Goosebumps appeared on my skin and I tensed. There she stood, with her hands clasped in front of her tattered yellow dress. She wiped away a strand of hair that was falling out of her bun and smiled half-heartedly.

"I knew you were going to want to talk to me soon," Elizabeth said in a soft voice. "How are you today, Bella?"

I scratched my head. "I'm fine – I declined the offer to go to _Body Worlds_. But that's not what I actually – "

"_Body Worlds_ . . . Isn't that the exhibit with the dead bodies?"

"Yes, but – "

"Ah," Elizabeth mumbled, tapping her chin with a finger. "It's a good thing that you didn't go."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, this was only getting more confusing. "I was going to ask you to help contact Allie, but I guess you're going to tell me why it was a good thing I didn't go."

She chuckled and motioned for me to sit down. I did so just as she sat opposite me. After fixing her dress and tucking a few more pieces of copper hair behind her ear she said, "Trust me, this has something to do with Allie. You see, people like you have a sort of aura to them. It's this bright light that attracts the undead like me. And yours is very, very bright."

"So this aura of mine . . ."

"Because it's as welcoming as it is, more of us are attracted to you. You are rare, Bella, and everyone wants help. Can you imagine how many will bombard you if you went?"

I shuddered at the thought. Dead bodies _and _their corpses wouldn't go over so well. "Um, that's nice to know," I gulped, "What does this have to do with Allie?"

Elizabeth frowned, and when she saw me notice she quickly composed her self and straightened her back. "I'm aware of the visit she had with you the other night. And I know what she's hiding. It's not my story to tell, but I will do what I can to get her to tell you. Edward needs to know. In the mean time, I suggest you stay very far away from _Body Worlds._"

Before I could get another word in, she smiled and vanished. I hated when she did that – way to make things even more awkward! Honest to God, I was beginning to sound like a soap opera.

Suddenly, there was a rasp on my door. I whipped my head and the rasping began again. I groaned and walked towards the door, if Mrs. Davies came to rant about the mailman one more time, I was going to explode. I agreed that his mishap was truly becoming aggravating, but she didn't have to take it out on me. Granted, she gave a piece to the agency, but she always left some for me. I was fonder of the Mrs. Davies that gave me extra cookies she had baked or the one who wanted to have a nice chat with her neighbor. No big deal, I could handle that.

When I opened the door, it wasn't nice Mrs. Davies that had shown, nor was it the bitchy one.

"Edward?" I said, though it came out like a question. "Shouldn't you be at the exhibit? What are you still doing here?"

He crossed his arms with a serious expression. "Alice said you weren't coming, and I said that you had to."

_What?_ "You can't decide what I can and can't go to."

"I know that," He replied, "But there was something I wanted to tell you when we went."

"You can tell me now."

Edward shook his head. "No I can't. It needs to be done there."

I was going to retort, but then I looked into his pure green eyes. They didn't hold the gentleness they usually held, this time they were sad. Something was wrong. And regretfully, I nodded my head and said, "Okay."

"Thanks," He mumbled, kissing my cheek.

**{Believe Me}**

On the way to the exhibit, all I could think was: this is wrong. I shouldn't be going, Elizabeth warned me of what would happen. Spirits would be bothering me at no end, their power weakening me as they try to get my attention. I didn't want that, everyone would think I was crazy. Not to mention Edward would probably become worrisome. I didn't want that either. He already seemed so on edge, like he was ready to crash at any minute.

But then again, this could be a good thing as well. Elizabeth also mentioned that Allie was a part of this. What if _Body Worlds _was the answer I needed to figure out what was still holding her hear, hold her here to Edward's pain.

The car ride to downtown New York was mayhem, in a good way of course. Emmett was driving – which was kind of scary since he was laughing the whole time, and was easily distracted. Rosalie tried to get him to focus on the road as much as she could, but with Jasper and Alice singing to _Miley Cyrus, _it was difficult. She was laughing too, and therefore, encouraged Emmett's laughter as well. Jasper had his arm around Alice as they continued singing, with their hands in the air and swaying side to side. Edward was chuckling beside me, his hand holding mine. I couldn't contain my giggles, but as I looked into Edward's eyes once more, I saw the same emptiness I had seen at my apartment.

Deciding to distract him from whatever he was thinking, I said, "Esme was telling me about the time you dyed your hair black and hi-jacked a car."

It must have worked, because he boomed with laughter and shook his head. "That's okay, the story about you going to school on a Saturday made my story seem less frightening."

"What could I say, I was a keen child," I replied, trying to sustain the mood. "I'd just like to know what set the fire for you to do those things."

"I was rebellious at a time . . ." Edward trailed off; his eyes no longer empty, but looking like they were remembering something from his past. "Let's just say, I took the angst phase just a little too far."

I smiled at the thought. Rebellious Edward, now _that _was something I'd like to see. "I really want a picture of your black hair."

Edward looked at me with a grin, "When we go to Chicago, I'll get Esme to show you. Carlisle won't like it, mainly 'cause he didn't approve of that phase, but what the hell."

Emmett rounded the corner and sped up in order to get a parking space, which we did find, but only because Emmett threw his water bottle at the other car to distract them. I laughed, but had nothing to say to Emmett after that – his immaturity pretty much spoke for itself. All Rose could do was shake her head, while Alice, Jasper and Edward were holding their stomachs from laughing so hard.

Yeah . . . We were an odd bunch.

"And you were going to miss out on that?" Alice said to me as we got out of the car, "Oh, Bella. When will you learn that everyday when we hang out with Emmett is a another way to prove his maturity?"

I shrugged, chuckling at her comment. "I guess I never learn. But I am glad I came." _Well, sort of . . ._

"Me too! Now I have my best friend with me as we indulge in what is_ Body Worlds,_" She pointed at the sign and clapped her hands, then running to Jasper and linking arms with him.

"Are you ready?" Edward asked.

I gulped, "Ready as I'll ever be,"

Then we all stepped into the exhibit that is _Body Worlds._

**{Believe Me}**

I must say – it was not at all like Elizabeth had said. Yes, there were many spirits, but they were all kind. When Edward went to the bathroom, I went to the stand in the corner and talked to one of them, asking why they weren't all attacking me for help. He was wearing a ripped tuxedo and smiled at me, saying that no one needed help because every body in the exhibit was given by will. They wanted others to know how the systems worked, and were happy to see that even though they died, they were able to make other people smile with fascination. That was new to me – I had never met a spirit that stayed from eternal rest on free will. And the fact that there was a group of them like that was overwhelming.

After that encounter, I let my nerves aside and had fun. We all went our separate ways – and when I say that, I mean we went as couples. Edward and I were now looking at a display that showed the body running, with mechanics making the legs and arms move. It was showing how the lungs expanded and contracted through a jog, and how the muscles worked in order to save energy. It _was _interesting, but I still wondered how this connected to Allie.

Then, something occurred to me, and I held Edward's hand in recognition. "What did you want to tell me?"

"Hmm?" Edward mumbled, still amazed by the display. "I'm sorry, what?"

"You told me that you needed to tell me something, and that you could only tell me here."

He nodded and we began to walk away from the display. "Right. Allie's dad contacted me yesterday, telling me something that I never would have expected."

What did Allie's dad want? According to her, he never gave a shit about what went through her life. "Oh, what did he say?"

Edward sighed and scratched his head. "It's kind of hard to say . . ."

"It's okay, Edward. Just take your time." We walked a little more, still holding hands. I saw more spirits walk, while others stood by their own body and watched people mesmerize the contents inside the glass case.

"Before she died, she apparently left another note besides the one she left for me. It was for her dad. I didn't understand why, since she always used to tell me how much she despised him, but when he told me this, I understood. It was shocking at first, but at the same time I figured it was something she would do."

"Um, what did she do?" I asked hesitantly.

"She donated her body to laboratories," I gasped. I didn't know Allie had done that, and now that I knew, this answered why Elizabeth said this tied to Allie.

However, I remembered that Edward must have been torn. His suicidal ex-girlfriend had donated her body to science, and he was only learning this, five years later. "I'm sorry, Edward. Really, I am."

"You need to stop being sorry for everything," He told me with his gentle eyes. I smiled to myself, glad that the emptiness was gone. "Especially when you've become such a big part of my life."

The rest of the afternoon was bliss, if you could call being surrounded by bodies and their spirits bliss. Edward would hold my waist and I'd snuggle my face into his chest. I could still sense his pain since he was probably thinking of what happened to Allie's body, but that was understandable. He needed someone – he needed a rock. And for some ironic reason, I was that rock.

We met up with the rest of the gang halfway through the exhibit. It didn't surprise me that Emmett was still laughing about what had happened in the parking lot. We all still giggled at the memory. It was coming to the point where we weren't taking anything seriously anymore, so we decided it was time to leave.

That was, until we came up to a room with the words: The Human Body & Birth

"We should go in," Rose said. "It looks interesting."

Everyone agreed, and went through the doors. I wondered why it was closed off, but then I thought it was probably because this was an optional display. Some people weren't comfortable with this sort of thing, and that was understandable. These were women who had died with their baby still in the womb; it was awful thinking how two lives were lost – a woman who was able to experience life and another who couldn't be granted the same opportunity.

The moment I stepped in, I noticed how many spirits were roaming the almost vacant room. They were all women holding their stomachs, with tears. They noticed when I entered, but did nothing. One just looked at me with vacant eyes, then turned back to eye her body. She touched the glass, right in front of the womb.

"I feel sick," Alice said. "I think I need air." Jasper walked her out of the room and for once, Alice didn't say a word.

Edward was no longer with me; he was reading some of the information on the wall. I strolled around the room, holding onto myself. All I could think was what these women's lives could have been like. How long ago did they die? How old would their children have been? Then I stopped right in front of a body that was only eight weeks pregnant. She was small, probably a teenager when she died, and her baby bump wasn't that large.

What I didn't expect were the eyes to flutter open. I gasped and jumped back. I looked around to see if anyone else had noticed, but they were all focusing on something else. It was just the spirit and I. And as I looked into those eyes, I knew something was too familiar with them. They were a beautiful royal blue – a color I had grown fond of.

_Oh my God._

Chills ran down my spine, and in the corner of my eye, someone was standing there. I turned and there stood Allie. She touched her stomach and sobbed. I looked back at the corpse before returning my glance to Allie. Both had that same color of eyes, both of them were crying.

I needed to get of here. _Now._

* * *

**Good afternoon, my lovely readers (it's the afternoon where I live, so, for those where it is morning or evening ... you get the point haha). I'd like to say that this chapter was very hard for me to write. When I first introduced Allie, I already knew she was pregnant, so yeah. However, I did not know this was how I was going to write it until I went to the _Body Worlds & the Brain _exhibit in my hometown - yes, it's an actual exhibit if you're wondering. I myself did not go into _that_ room, because I know I would not be able to handle it, but I thought it was a sort of dramatic way to tell her pregnancy. So please don't give me reviews telling me how disturbing it is, because I do know that. I was actually crying when I was thinking about doing this, but it really flowed. So .. please, no yelling.**

**Besides that, Allie being pregnant ... yes, it is Edward's baby. I'm not going to lie to you. BUT, there is more to her story. Allie is really complex, she's not just going to shove her whole life down your throat. Don't think too bad of her .. it will be explained in the next chapter.**

**If you want to check out the exhibit, just go to Google an search: _Body Worlds. _It's as simple as that - there you can kind of see what the bodies look like. Don't worry - it's not gory AT ALL! It's incredibly interesting. **

**The last time I updated I said that I wouldn't be able to post another one soon due to exams and getting my wisdom teeth out. I'm done exams, as of last Tuesday (thank God! Summer '10!) and I got my wisdom teeth removed last Friday. Apparently, I had a fast recovery since I'm already eating solids and it's only been a week, but for me it felt like a MONTH of pure pain and being on a liquid diet. Maybe it was my sheer determination to eat actual food? Hm, maybe haha.**

**I'll try to get the next one out really soon, since I knew I kind of left you on the edge - did I? 'Cause to me this seems like a very tame cliffhanger. Still, I'll try my very hardest! So much still coming.**

**Thanks for those who checked out my poll and voted! So far _ is winning. So if you really want that particular plot to be my next story, you better vote and make sure it wins. If you haven't checked it out/voted, please do. It benefits you as well.**

**PLEASE REVIEW =)**

**Until next time,**

**Karina.**


	22. Chapter 21: Faithful

**A/N: BY THE WAY! THIS IS A _MUST READ_: In this chapter there very short paragraphs that are underlined. That just means they're "scratched out" or "scribbled". You'll understand as you read. **

* * *

**All I wanted to say **

**All I wanted to do **

**Is fall apart now **

**All I wanted to feel**

**I wanted to love**

**It's all my fault now**

**A Tragedy I fear**

**_- Mercy, OneRepublic_**

* * *

Chapter 21: Faithful

My own tears fell from my eyes, and I wiped them away furiously. But before I reached the door, I felt a warm hand on my arm. "Bella, where are you . . ." Edward said as I turned around to face him. "Let's get you out of here."

I nodded as Edward put his arm around me and lead me out of the exhibit. I now knew how Allie connected to this. Not only did she donate her body, but she was also a part of the exhibit. She wasn't used in medical schools because she had been pregnant, and scientists used that to show the growth of a baby in _Body Worlds._

What struck me with so much shock and hurt was not only that fact that she committed suicide, but the adding factor of her carrying a living being in her. How could she do that, knowing that? It made me sick to my core, and I wanted to ball up in my bed and cry my heart out – kind of like I was doing now. But then it dawned on me; Edward didn't know. He couldn't have known – Allie was only eight weeks pregnant, calculating that would have meant that the baby was conceived prior to their prom.

_Oh, God, _I thought, my mind working wonders on my paranoia, _How am I supposed to tell Edward this? Surely he must not know about his never-born child._

A splash of humid hair smacked my face, breaking my train of thought. Edward's arm was still around my waist, and I had realized that I had tucked my chin into my chest. I didn't notice it before, but my chest was heaving. I didn't know if I was hyperventilating or sobbing, maybe both? My heart was pounding, I could feel it race faster and faster as Edward sat me down on a bench next to Alice, who suddenly had her hand on my cheek and murmuring soothing words.

I could feel Jasper's stare. "What happened?"

I opened my mouth, but I choked on my words. Luckily Edward answered for me, though I didn't know how I felt when he said, "I don't think she was able to handle that portion of the exhibit. She just stood in front of one display, staring at it intently, and then booked it towards the door."

My arms clutched onto my stomach and my eyes got wide. Alice noticed my sudden change of emotion and her eyes were telling me that she knew that was not the only thing that happened, and she wanted answers. I nodded my head, agreeing to spill. It was moments like these where I was grateful that Alice and I were so close that we had our own telepathic language.

Edward hand rubbed my back, creating soothing circles. I was beginning to calm down when I took his hand in mine. "I'm sorry for being such a drama queen, but thank you, Edward – for getting me out of there."

"Don't apologize, Bella. I understand your reaction. I'm not going to lie, I inwardly felt like doing the same. I can't even imagine how I would feel if I had known someone who had died with a baby in the womb."

_Oh, the irony of it all._

"Bella?" I looked up from my hands and into his concerned green eyes. "Did you hear what I said?"

"Um . . ."

Edward chuckled. "I said, maybe I should take you home."

"But Emmett and Rosalie are still inside."

"We'll take a cab."

I was about to agree when I remembered that I was going to tell Alice the truth. My eyes searched for her, finally landing on her petite profile. She was talking to Jasper, and sensed my stare, turning her head to smile at me. "Al, Edward is going to take me home, can you tell Emmett that we took a cab?"

She nodded, her eyes reminding me to explain. I blinked in agreement. "I'll tell him. _We'll _check up on you later, okay? Go get some rest."

I thanked her just before Edward took my hand and called for a cab. With a simple whistle, a yellow car stopped in front of us. Being the gentleman he was, Edward held the door open for me as I got inside. He told the cab driver my address and we were off.

It was a silent ride, but in my mind, my thoughts were screaming at me. I knew the way that Alice said 'we'll be checking on you' most likely meant that everyone except for Edward needed to hear what was going on. And there it was again – _except _for Edward. I needed to tell him this, _he needed to know. _I just had to figure out how to go about it. It had to be straightforward, but still gradual. It had to be bold, but not frightening. It had to be . . . said right. But first, I needed to talk to the gang – I felt like I had neglected them for too long.

Maybe it was just I, but the drive to my apartment seemed like it only took five minutes, when it definitely was much longer than that. Edward paid the driver, even though I protested since it was _my _fault that I needed to leave.

"Will you wait for me here?" He asked the cab driver. "I'll be down in ten minutes."

"You got it, sir," The cab driver replied, putting the money into his pocket.

Edward slammed the door and walked alongside me to my apartment. His skin was radiating warmth as his arm brushed mine. It sent tingles throughout my spine, and all I wanted to do was sit on the couch in his arms. But Edward told the taxi driver to wait for him, did he not to want to be with me? Did my breakdown scare him off?

"Edward, why did you tell the driver to wait for you?"

He kept his eyes straight. "Because I'm going to drop you off."

I looked down, hurt replacing the warmth that was just recently pouring into me. "Oh, I understand. I know that my breakdowns are, somewhat, frequent. But that doesn't define me. If you're going to blow me off then you might as well – "

"Whoa, what?" Edward said, interrupting my ramble. "What makes you think that I'm blowing you off?"

I rolled my eyes, but still didn't look at him. "Well, you usually stick around and make sure I'm all right. And I can't help but think that this breakdown was the final straw for you."

"Oh, Bella. That's not it at all. Look at me," Edward took my chin in his fingertips and turned my face gently so that I was gazing at him. "I'm only dropping you off because I think you need some rest. I care for you too much, and the thought of ever bailing on you hurts me."

I smiled, glad to know that he was thinking of my wellbeing. "You don't need to leave in order for me to rest, I'm sure I'll be more relaxed if you're with me."

"Tempting. But did you forget that I still work at Starbuck's?"

"Oh, right," I mumbled.

"I'll call you later, okay? Go sleep." I nodded as he hugged me, kissing my hair.

And when Edward was gone, I was once again left with my thoughts. The voices were telling me, no, _demanding _me to tell him the truth. Telling me to run after him and bring him back so I can explain everything. _Lying_ to me that everything would be okay after that – that Edward would still care for me as much as he does now. But I ignored it, and unlocked my door.

The entrance of the apartment opened to the living room, where not too long ago Elizabeth told me not to go to _Body Worlds. _If only I had listened to her, then I wouldn't have had to carry on even more of a burden that was already weighing my shoulders. But then again, I would have forced it out of Allie eventually. However, I'd rather she tell me in person than finding _that _out in an exhibition so unexpectedly.

I lay down on the couch, covering my face with one of the pillows. Hopefully sleep would be able to block the voices in my head.

**{Believe Me}**

"Bella!" I heard someone yell from a distance, followed by a persistent banging sound. I turned onto my side and put the pillow over my ears.

"Give me five minutes," I mumbled, my voice hoarse.

"_Bella Swan! Open your god damn door!"_

There was more banging and more yelling, and when it had been approximately five minutes, I decided to get off the couch. There was no telling how bad my back must have been now, but I didn't want to move. But then again, my door would be broken down if I didn't answer it. And I was pretty neither Emmett, Rosalie, Alice nor Jasper would mind if it did fall into crumbles.

My body felt heavy as I dragged myself out of the living room. Without looking in the mirror to see if I was decent, I grasped the doorknob. I already predicted what I looked like – pale skin, with puffy eyes and dark circles. I either looked stoned or like hell – well, being stoned probably resulted in looking like hell . . . but that was beyond the point.

"You guys should have called first," I grumbled, covering my yawn with my hand. "Then the horrid knocking wouldn't have been necessary."

"Giving you a head's up is the least of our worries. We want to know what's going on, Bella," Jasper said, the rest of them nodding their heads in agreement.

I bit my lip and stepped aside. "Come in. It's a really long story."

They filed in and found their way to the couches. I excused myself to get some snacks and drinks only because I knew I had a lot of explaining to do, and I wasn't sure if they had eaten yet. I came back to see them silent, which was so rare. Emmett immediately perked up when he saw the bowl of chips, and practically swallowed it all when I put it on the coffee table.

"So," I said, taking my seat opposite of them, "What did I tell you the last time we had one of these discussions?"

Alice tapped her chin. "I don't even remember the last time you told us about your world."

"Okay. Then I guess I'll start with my first date with Edward. It's going to be way longer than I thought."

I told them about how I had felt hands trailing up my body during the date, and that whenever Edward touched me, it suddenly went away. And how the day after that I witnessed Elizabeth's death, how she told me that I needed Edward almost as much as he needed me. It was hard to tell them about seeing Allie's death, since I knew what was going to come soon but I managed to move on from that. I saved the shocking news till the end, right after I realized why I needed Edward so much. When I told them what I saw in the exhibit earlier that day, it was like the room suddenly went cold.

Emmett was the first one to speak, his voice shaky. "You mean, Allie had a baby with Edward?" I nodded my head. "Does he know this?"

I held my breath. "No, he doesn't"

"Bella, you have to tell him."

"I know that, Em. This isn't something I can keep from him."

"When you tell him, maybe you should also mention that you see ghosts," Rosalie said.

I felt tears welling in my eyes, but I blinked them back. "I can't tell him that. It'll be too much. Not just for him, but for me, as well."

"Then how are you going to tell Edward that Allie was pregnant? He isn't even aware that you know her."

"I'll figure something out."

No one pushed the subject any further, but I knew that all four of them disagreed with me keeping this from Edward. I knew they were wondering why it was so hard for me to tell Edward and not them. The truth was, it _was _hard to tell them – I was scared to death that they would reject me as their friend. But Edward was different, he'd gone through too much. I couldn't put him through more pain – more confusion. I couldn't ruin his new found happiness, not with knowing that it because of me that his pain was almost minimal.

They stayed for another hour, trying to lighten the mood. But once they figured that all I wanted was to be left alone to figure things out, they insisted on going. I felt guilty for being an awful hostess, but I knew they were right. About _everything._

I was still hesitant about telling Edward, what was I supposed to say? Maybe I needed to write down my words first, memorize them and then confront him. Then I wouldn't be stammering, but saying that truth smoothly. I nodded to myself and grabbed a notebook off the counter, a pen already marking the next blank page. I bit the end of the pen, tapping my foot against the floor. My frustration was building as I thought of how to start it – it had to have the right approach.

It got to the point where I thought: what the hell? Get it done and run to Edward. I sighed and started scribbling on the lined paper. The more I wrote, the more I realized how much I had been scratching out.

_Edward, there is something I need to tell you, and I'm not sure how you'll take it. Please hear me out. _

_Before anything, I just want to let you know how much I care about you, and being your girlfriend means the world to me. But I can't lie to you anymore – I need to tell you the truth about me._

_I want to let this out before I begin to beat around the bush, so here it goes. I see ghosts, Edward, and no I'm not crazy. I can even prove it. Your mother and ex-girlfriend talk to me on a frequent basis, I probably know a lot more than you do._

_God damn it, why in the hell can't I get this right. Bella, you're such a loser! Look at the mess you have made, bringing Edward so far down he doesn't even realize it. You can't fix this; it's done. _

I threw the pen and notebook across the room, hearing as it slapped the wall and fall to the floor. I did bring Edward down with me, and it was because I was selfish. My heart ached, I _used _him, and I wasn't even aware of it. I wanted, no, I _needed _his affection, because I never felt it before.

"You know that isn't true, Bella," I heard Elizabeth murmur, her cold skin just grazing mine as she brushed my hair out of my face. "You didn't use Edward."

I kept my eyes forward. "But I did. Why else would I have created such a huge catastrophe?"

"Sweetie, don't lie to yourself just to feel worse."

I turned my head to her and grimaced. "How can you be so sure that that wasn't the case?"

"Because if it was, you wouldn't be caring so much. You would just tell him and it would be out of mind, out of sight," Elizabeth explained, her voice dripping with gentleness.

"Elizabeth, why are you always so kind to me? Obviously, I've been bringing your son into a dark hole, yet you always seem so . . ."

"Supportive?" I nodded. "I haven't interacted with Edward since he was eleven. He's changed a lot over the eleven years, it's kind of like I'm watching over a brand new boy. And then there was you, who had seen so much and has never really experienced paternal love. At least Edward was able to be loved by his adopted parents. I feel like a mother to you, Bella. And a mother is always there for her child, no matter the decisions."

I grabbed Elizabeth's hand, and gave it a small squeeze. "I think of you like my mother, too, Elizabeth. Thank you."

"Anytime. Now I better go and let you get some rest. Something tells me that you have a big day tomorrow."

I waved to her as she walked through the wall. Knowing that Elizabeth supported my decisions elated me. She knew that I would to the right thing, and that made feel like I was _able _to do the right thing. And my life – that was filled with so many lies just to keep my secret, was also right. The world wasn't ready for me, for what I could see. It was better for them to live in ignorance. But what I had been doing to Edward was _not_ right. I would tell him, piece by little piece, only to insure his sanity.

**{Believe Me}**

_Bella, you have to tell him._

_Something tells me you have a big day tomorrow._

_I suck, I suck, I suck._

I didn't get any sleep, my friends' voices, Elizabeth's encouragement and my own put downs kept me up at night. I tossed and turned for an endless amount of time, probably only getting four hours of rest. So now, I was lying on my back and staring at the ceiling, believing that today was going to be, as Elizabeth said, a big day.

However, what I did accomplish from my restless sleep was how to go about telling Edward. And it was clear as day that there really was no other way to go about it – piece by piece would be even more flawed than being straightforward. I just had to face hell, and pray that everything would be okay.

I got myself out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. After a hot shower and a horrible attempt to put in my contacts, my tired eyes yelled that it was going to be a glasses day. _Shit. _Now I had to look somewhat better to make up for the black square framed glasses. I picked out my outfit carefully – a strapless contrast dress with a floral top and a deep blue skirt. It had a sweetheart neckline and a belt the same print as the top. There, hopefully appearances would slightly lighten the mood.

With one last look in the mirror, I grabbed my purse and headed out the door, and towards Edward's apartment. I took the subway, knowing it would take longer. I needed a little more time to think things through – get it all sorted out. Maybe I was thinking too much, because suddenly I appeared in front of Edward's door. I gulped and raised my hand, holding my breath as I knocked.

_Here goes nothing._

Edward opened the door, only wearing jeans, exposing his chiseled torso. It took everything I had to look away from his abs and into his eyes, which were twinkling in excitement.

"Well, this is a surprise," He laughed scratching his chin, still needing to shave. "I just got out of the shower – sorry for the lack of clothes."

"It's fine," I said too quickly. I blushed as he chuckled under his breath, beginning to loose the focus of why I was here. "Actually, Edward. I need to talk to you."

Edward's face hardened, curiosity replacing the sparkle in his eyes. "All right. Um, come in." He lead me through the hallway and into his kitchen, holding out the chair for me. I felt my heart drop. He was so perfect – _the _ideal gentleman. "So . . . what did you want to talk about?"

I didn't want to look at him, my eyes burning into the floor. "I'm going to start from the beginning, but I want you to know that I am not crazy. And you have to promise me that you'll let me finish my story."

"Bella, you're scaring me."

"Just promise me. _Please?"_

I could feel Edward's stare. "Okay. Okay, I promise."

As I told him about the time I saw my first ghost up until I saw the woman behind the willow tree, he was silent. I heard him gasp when I said that the woman was his mother, begging me to help him. Allie was a different story – he was _too _quiet. Even when I explained that she was pregnant with his child, and still killed herself. Throughout all of this, I never look at him. I didn't need to see his disapproving eyes, and I already knew what he was thinking. Edward must have thought I was a psychopath, and wanted me out of his house.

I got up from the chair and nodded my head. "That's all. I'm sorry I wasted your time." When he didn't reply, I made my way to the door, not even crying. Just hurt. I knew this was going to happen – I knew he would reject me.

Just as I touched the doorknob, Edward said, "Bella, wait."

"What do you want, Edward? I already know what you're going to say, you don't need to tell me. I'm leaving."

"No, just stop. Don't leave," Edward took my hand off the doorknob and pulled me to him. He brushed my hair out of my face. "I'm not mad at you, I'm glad you told me."

"W-what?"

"If my mom wanted me happy, well, I am. It's all thanks to you. How can I let go of the person who brought light back into my life?"

Edward leaned into me and pressed his lips to mine. It was soft and sweet, like he didn't want me to break. The kiss was short, or maybe it just seemed short, because I wanted it to last forever.

"But what about Allie? She had your . . ."

"I know, you explained it to me," Edward laughed. "But that was the past. She never told me, and I guess it wasn't my decision. How could it be when I didn't even know?"

"So you don't care that I see ghosts? That I'm a freak?"

"Not at all. And you're not a freak – you're my Bella."

I smiled at him as he kissed my cheek, suddenly hearing a booming noise. I looked to his door, thinking that someone was knocking. Edward didn't seem to notice because he was still watching me. But how could he not hear that noise?

"Bella, wake up," He said, though it wasn't his voice. It was a woman's. "It's time to wake up, sweetheart."

My eyebrows furrowed, I could feel my mouth fall into a frown. Edward kept on telling me to wake up with a female voice. This was crazy; I wasn't asleep. I knew the difference between reality and a dream and this most certainly was . . .

A dream? Edward began to fade, as did everything else. I stood there, shocked at what just happened, and when I blinked, I was back in my room. My face was buried into my pillow and I was panting. So it was all a dream, telling Edward, and him still caring for me – not real. I wanted to cry, it was so perfect. Why couldn't it have been real?

_Bang. Bang. Bang. _The same noise appeared, and I wondered if I was still dreaming. That was until I heard Mrs. Davies yelling from the other side of the wall.

"Hubert! Stop hammering that shelf! Bella is probably still sleeping. The youth of today, I tell you . . ."

A string of profanities came out of my mouth like a whisper, most referring to myself. The expletives continued throughout my shower all the way to breakfast. I wanted to live that dream. I wanted to know that Edward would be as understanding as he was not too long ago. However, in the back of my mind, I already knew that Edward would understand. He understood throughout my breakdowns, and even when I lied about the letter from Renee. Edward had been there for me, and it was my turn to be there for him.

This was it – _I was going to tell Edward Cullen the truth._

I grabbed my cell phone off the counter and slipped on my flip-flops. I noticed the notebook that was still on the ground, sitting on a blank page. In my mind, I laughed at it. I didn't need it – I knew what I was going to say.

Just as I opened my door, I ran into a brick wall. Well, it seemed like a brick wall anyway. I stumbled backwards when a warm hand caught me, saving me from another bruised tailbone. "Watch yourself, beautiful."

His smooth velvety voice filled me with such compassion I almost melted. "Thank you, Edward. What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to make sure that you were okay. You didn't answer my calls last night so I guessed you were asleep."

I smacked my forehead with my palm. "Oh my God, I'm sorry. I kind of just passed out on my bed and only woke up half an hour ago."

Edward chuckled. "Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're okay."

_Me too._ "I was just about to leave for your place, but since you're here already. Come in." I took Edward's hand as he took me to the dining table. Holding the chair open for me – _just like in my dream. _"So, I have something extremely important I need to tell you." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Trying to relieve some stress.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"

And when I opened my eyes, staring into his deep, soulful green ones, I smiled. "Yeah. I know."

* * *

*** Enters dramatic music * Well, not really. The last sentence wasn't _that _intense . . .**

**Sorry for the cliffhanger. I thought this was a good way to end the story - JUST KIDDING! I thought it was the right way to end the _chapter. _LOL don't kill me for the cliffhanger or the cruel joke. **

**I would have updated this sooner, but from July 1st (Happy belated Canada Day!) to July 4th (Happy belated 4th of July!), I was at a dance workshop. On those days I was dancing from noon - 8:15 pm, my only break was meal break. I'm still kind of sore . . . But anyways. What I'm trying to say is that I would have updated this on the 4th, but yeah. However, it's Wednesday so I guess I did okay, right?**

**KEEP ON VOTING! If you haven't yet, go to my profile and check out the poll. So far, _ is _still _winning. So if you want me to write that particular (the particular, meaning your preference between the choices) story, you gotta vote!**

**Hmmm, I think I might go take a nap before So You Think You Can Dance. I don't know if I want Kent or Alex to win . . . both of them are amazing. And there I go again, rambling. _Sigh._  
**

**Review, my lovely readers.**

**Karina.**


	23. Chapter 22: Capability

**I _always _forget to do this! Every single time I post a chapter it's like: "Oh, shit! I forgot to put a disclaimer." Not this time. NO WAY, JOSE!**

**. . . .**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, and all recognizable parts belong to SM. The lyrics also belong to their rightful owners.  


* * *

**

'Cause you are beautiful inside,

So lovely and I can't see why I'd do anything without you, you are

And when I'm not with you, I know that it's true

That I'd rather be anywhere but here without you

_**- Anywhere But Here, Safety Suit

* * *

**_

Chapter 22: Capability

July passed slowly. The humidity got to me and I began to go insane, if it weren't for Rose and Jasper – whose personalities are so different from each other – I would have been a goner. They didn't really do much but bring me to the beach. Of course everyone went, but those two were the ones who planned it. I was glad to have finally gotten out of busy New York for a while. Edward and I walked along the beach, Alice and I splashed water at each other, and I got to see Emmett fall face first into someone's sand castle. All good fun.

August was even worse. I dreaded the day of going back to classes. Of course I had a lot of time before then, but I still didn't want to go. What student in their right mind actually _did _want to endure hours of lessons? Sometimes I envied Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper for having already been graduated. However, the thought of being out in the world after graduation kind of freaked me out. Maybe it wasn't even school that was bothering me. It was probably the fact that Edward had talked about Chicago with me more often than I had hoped. He planned on going at the end of September, and I agreed. But something bugged me, pulled on my sleeve and pestered me like a child.

Oh, that's right! _I still hadn't told Edward about my secret._

It was now September 12th, and all I could think was: I was completely screwed.

On the day I planned to tell Edward, two months ago, I was ready to launch into it. In my mind, there was absolutely no stopping me from the truth. But of course, I panicked. I could feel my palms get sweaty and my legs begin to shake. That day had haunted me ever since.

"_You know you can tell me anything, right?" Edward had said._

"_Yeah. I know," I replied, determined and confident._

_Edward took my hand in his and smiled, and that was when the terror set in. I pulled my hand away. "Are you okay, Bella?"_

_I nodded. "I'm fine," I breathed in and out. "Edward, I . . ."_

"_You what?"_

_I was going to tell him, but a look in his eyes caught me off guard. They showed concern, and worst of all, they showed horror. Like he was afraid of what I was about to say. He should be scared – but I didn't want him to._

_So I chickened out._

"_I'm really scared about going to Chicago," I muttered, mentally hitting myself with a hammer. "I don't want to be a nuisance."_

_Edward laughed, though it sounded like he was trying to cover the sigh of relief. "Bella, you have nothing to worry about. My parents love you. Besides, who else would I bring with me . . . Emmett? He would only come if Rose came. Just like the way I'm only going if you come with me."_

"_Oh. Okay . . ."_

"_Don't look so scared," He chuckled, getting out of the chair to come around and wrap his arms around me. "Like I said – you have nothing to worry about."_

I was such an idiot! No . . . I _am _an idiot. My intellect was probably even lower than an imbecile's, seeing as how I was still stuck in this mess. Of course Elizabeth soothed me when I nearly cried when he left that day, but I knew that she was slightly disappointed. I couldn't really blame her – she had asked me to help her son, heal him from all the pain. Yet here I was, _hurting him, _and he wasn't even aware of it. Not to mention the whole Allie case was being a pain in the ass and haunting me in my dreams. Granted, I had not seen her since she showed me her bedroom, but I still dream about her arguing with her dad, and crying in the corner of the room. It had only been recently that I linked that dream I had about that girl who wanted to be a teacher and her dad wouldn't let her. I didn't know why I hadn't realized it before – she said that her prom date was the only one who loved her . . .

I sighed and grabbed my keys – my mail was probably stacking up. Mrs. Davies hadn't come to my door lately either, so that meant that my mail wasn't delivered to her accidentally. Which probably meant that they were sitting in my mailbox. I didn't really care about how I looked since I would just be going to the lobby, so I was clad in a tank top and sweatpants, only to sport flip flops and a messy bun as well. The elevator took too long so I ran down the stairs, mentally telling myself that I needed to get back in shape.

"Good afternoon, Miss Bella," Roberto greeted as he waxed the floors, his Italian accent so thick I almost didn't understand what he said. "How has your day been so far?"

"It's been monotonous. I'm just going to get my mail and then run back up and sleep."

Roberto pulled out a plastic bag and handed it to me. "You're going to need this."

I laughed incredulously. "Why?"

"Miss Bella, I've been working here for twenty years. I'm here every single time the mailman comes by and drops off the letters. Your box is just about to explode," I laughed again, only to have Roberto shake his head. "This is no joke. Make sure you have your bag open when you unlock your box."

"Uh . . . okay," I walked up to my box and unlocked it, remembering to hold the bag wide enough when I opened the small door. "Holy crap!" I yelled as the pile of letters spilled out of the mailbox. I could hear Roberto laughing from a distance, but all I could really think was: Jesus, has it been that long since I last checked my mail?

Some letters missed the bag and fell onto the floor. I groaned and bent to pick them up, realizing how stiff I was. As I gathered the enclosed papers, a floral envelope inside the bag caught my eye. _Great. Just great. _I stuffed the other letters into the bag, making sure to cover the damned floral mail.

"Thanks, Roberto," I said. "I'll see you around okay?"

He smiled at me and waved. "Ciao, Miss Bella!"

With one final nod I booked it up the stairs, ignoring the burning sensation I felt in my legs. When I opened the door to my level, I almost ran into Mr. Marshall and his dog. I apologized and rubbed Hershey's ears before running to my apartment. My fingers fumbled as they tried to grasp the right key. I rolled my eyes and put the key into the lock, turning it until I heard the _click_. I pushed through the door and emptied the bag onto the counter.

"Where is it . . .?" I muttered as I sifted through the sea of mail. "Com on, come on," I could feel sweat bedding onto my forehead from the scavenger hunt and swiftly wiped it with my forearm. Eventually I found the small, pink envelope. I ripped it open and pulled out the matching piece of paper.

_Dearest Isabella,_

_I'm not quite sure when you'll receive this letter, but I am positive that you'll get this before your big day. Happy early birthday, darling!_

_Phil told me to tell you that he wishes you all the best, and that he misses you. He said that he especially misses your presence at his game, and that – his words not mine – he "hasn't been the same without his lucky charm." Well, neither of us have really been the same since you lived with Charlie and then stopped our communication . . ._

_But this is a happy letter! No need for my self-grieving. _

_I spoke to Charlie (that man really needs a woman in his life – I think his house is becoming so empty since he is always working) and he says that his birthday package should be in the mail by your birthday. Speaking of which, you must – and I mean it – you MUST check your mail on your birthday. Your birthday packages (yes, package is in a plural. My gift will be there as well) will both be sitting in your mailbox on that glorious day. It doesn't matter that you're not responding to this, but please humor your dear old mother and make sure you make a visit to your mailbox._

_Again, happy early birthday, Bella!_

_Love,_

_Mom._

_P.S – If you don't check your mail on your birthday, I will know._

Well . . . that was heartwarming. _I will know. _Jeez, what the hell was Renee trying to do? She already abandoned me – she couldn't do anything worse. I rolled my eyes and stuffed the letter into the garbage bin, glaring at it as I walked away. Again, I went through my mail. There were so many. It came to the point where I organized it from company junk mail to bills. I was pitiful! Who in their right minds organized mail to this extent? Oh right, I did. Because I obviously had too much down time . . .

"Hey, Bella!" A high-pitched voice yelled.

"Gah!" I screamed as I jumped in my chair. I looked up from the table and saw Alice, a bright smile on her face as she stood in my apartment nonchalantly. "How did you get in here?"

She shrugged. "The spare key you gave me if there ever was an emergency."

"_Is _there an emergency?"

"Yes."

I raised an eyebrow. "What happened?"

Alice sighed and took a seat beside me, holding my hands in hers. "Well, you know how Rose and Emmett are going to visit her parents in Seattle tomorrow?" I nodded, that was all Rose ever talked about lately. "Well . . . my boss just called me and said that she needed an assistant for Taylor Swift's red carpet event in L.A., and that I was the best candidate."

"Oh my God! Alice, that's so fantastic!"

"But there's one problem," She mumbled, her eyes lowering. "My flight leaves tomorrow at five in the morning."

I bit my lip. "Oh. I see."

"Bella, I'm so sorry! I know it's your birthday and that we always do something incredible together, but I can't pass up this opportunity . . ."

"Al, it's fine."

". . . If you want, I can call my boss and tell her that my grandma died . . ."

I shook my head. "No, don't do that."

". . . Because I'd be perfectly fine if you want me to stay –"

"Alice!' I yelled, finally getting her attention. "You should go to L.A., that's a great opportunity."

Alice frowned. "But then I'd miss your birthday."

"Don't worry about it. It's just another birthday – there'll be another one. But _this, _this is something that doesn't happen too often. You can't pass up that offer, Al. Especially not for me."

"But, Bella, you're my best friend. How can I just leave when you're going to be all alone?"

"I won't be alone," I muttered.

Alice chuckled. "That's right – Edward will still be here," She squeezed my hands gently before hugging me. "Thanks, Bells. You're awesome." She pulled away, and just as she stood up, a bright smile appeared. "I have _the best _idea."

I groaned and hung my head. There was truly no point in even protesting, so I listened as Alice chatted away. Coming up with plans for tonight since all but Edward wouldn't be there for my birthday. I didn't mind that they wouldn't be there – because really, it was _just_ a birthday. Twenty-four hours of being treated like a princess. I didn't want to be royalty when I was five, and I didn't want to be royalty now. But I guess I appreciated them for caring so much; how did I land such amazing company?

"Just be at the restaurant by six thirty. Don't worry about a thing – I'll have everything set," Alice alleged. "Oh! And wear something dressy."

"Be there and dressed formally at six thirty; got it. You know you don't have to do this, right?"

"Look, I already feel bad about me leaving you on your birthday. Just humor me."

I looked into Alice's icy blue eyes and sighed. Her vulnerable expression always made me cave in, and she knew it did. "Fine. Just don't go over board."

Alice scoffed. "Have a little faith, Bella."

The little pixie then left, stating that she had to organize everything for tonight. I shook my head and tittered – collapsing onto the couch to nap before the night Alice planned. Three and a half hours . . . that was good enough to nap. I probably had to start getting ready by five so that I could grab a taxi by six. Being too lazy, I fished out my cell phone and set the alarm, getting comfortable on the couch. With that I welcomed the hazy dreams.

**{Believe Me}**

_I laughed hysterically as I drove farther and farther away from Mike's house. Jane – the fourteen year old ghost who overdosed – giggled beside me. To this day, Jane didn't really know how to get out of here. She had been roaming Forks for ten years. She thought she had to watch over her little brother and make sure that he didn't make the same mistakes she had done. But as little Alec grew up and headed to Yale without consequence, and her presence was Earth plane was still apparent, she was dumbfounded. So was I. Jane had been sticking around me since I moved Forks – and it had already been a year and a half._

_But back to why I was cackling like a maniac – I was on my way to break things off with Mike. He had been blowing me off and made me feel useless for too long, and I already had enough of that at Phoenix. I didn't need to be reminded of how things went down there when all I really wanted to do was escape. So I drove to his place to end things in person instead of on the phone._

_Apparently, I came just in time. Because as I walked up the front porches of his old Victorian house, I could see him making out with Kate – the primary whore of Forks. Was I pissed off? Yeah, I was. But did it just make things easier? Hell yeah, it did. Might as well have my fun since he seemed to be enjoying himself._

_For dramatics, I knocked on the window rapidly. They both jumped back and looked at me. Kate pursed her lips while Mike's face was filled with horror. I had crossed my arms and tapped my foot impatiently, waiting for him to open the front door. He had done so, sputtering a bunch of useless words._

"_Oh my God, Bella. This isn't what it looks like."_

"_Yes it is!" Kate screeched, clearly pissed at him for lying. Well that made two of us. "If you're too ashamed to tell Bella that you love me, then we're done!"_

"_What? Baby, you know I love you . . .," He said to her quietly._

_I cleared my throat. "Baby?"_

_Mike turned back to me and held my arm. "Wait. No, Bella you're the only one . . ."_

"_So last night was a lie then. You only said you loved me to get sex," Kate stated, glaring at him._

_Oh, this was getting too good._

"_We're through, Mike," She said. Grabbing her coat before muttering to me. "I'm sorry, Bella. Kick his ass, okay?"_

_I nodded my head and watched her leave. Of course she swayed her hips dramatically, but that's just how Kate was._

"_Bella. I am so sorry. You know I love you."_

_I scoffed. "Are you saying that just because you want sex?"_

_Mike's eyes widened. "No! I – "_

"_I don't care. We're done," I threw my hands in the air and stormed out. I could feel Mike watching me. I didn't look back, because if I did, I would break into laughter._

_Kind of like what I was doing now. I had told Jane what happened and she was holding onto her stomach from laughing so hard. For fourteen, she was very easy to talk to. Like she was my age. However, she was much older than me . . . seeing as how she would have been twenty-four now if she hadn't . . ._

"_I think I might make some spaghetti tonight. You think Charlie will be up for it?"_

_Jane wiped away the tears. "Pretty sure he would."_

"_Sweet," I jumped out of the car and ran to the front door. It was beginning to rain again – shocker, right? Once I stepped through the door, I rid of my jacket and muddy shoes. Charlie would be home in an hour._

_I got to work, cooking the noodles as I made the sauce. Jane watched me, since she really couldn't do anything. It had come to the point where Jane became my closest friend. It was kind of sad, yet ironic. My only true friend was a ghost, something that Renee probably couldn't handle._

_By the time I was putting the pasta onto the plates, the door slammed shut. Charlie was home. "I'll catch you later, Bella," Jane said._

"_Okay. See you."_

_She dissolved into air when Charlie came in. "Who were you talking to?"_

"_Jane," I replied nonchalantly. "Remember? She's the one who overdosed almost ten years ago . . ."_

"_Oh, right," He muttered. Charlie wasn't really comfortable with that subject. He had learned to accept that I was able to see dead people, but the thought still freaked him out. Well, father, it freaked a lot of people out. No need to feel bad about it. We ate in silence; an awkward silence. I eyed my pasta as I wrapped it around my fork. Charlie ate it quickly before going to the stove to get more. Maybe Charlie liked spaghetti more than I thought._

"_So how's Mike doing?' He asked._

"_We broke up."_

"_I'm sorry, Bell."_

"_It's fine. I found him with another girl –" _clank_. Charlie dropped his fork and was immediately out of his chair. He grabbed his jacket and gun before slipping on his shoes._

_I stared at him in bewilderment. "What are you doing?"_

"_I'm going to the Newton's."_

_I got out of my chair and ran to him. "And do what? Shoot him?"_

"_Of course not!" he replied. "I'm just going to threaten him."_

"_Dad, don't do that. I was going to break up with him anyways."_

"_It doesn't matter. Look, Bells. The idea of you seeing ghosts isn't easy for me to grasp, but you're still my little girl. I don't care that you're extraordinary – I love you all the same."_

_Charlie spoke more after that, but his words blurred. All I could think was: he loves me! Even if Renee didn't, he still cared for me. I smiled to myself. Bella Swan was capable of being loved._

**{Believe Me}**

After slipping into a pleated scalloped chiffon dress and black pumps, I was in the taxi, on my way to the restaurant. As we got caught in traffic – thank God I left early – I thought about my dream. How bizarre was it that I had a flashback? I had remembered my breakup with Mike – because really, who would ever forget amazing scenes like that? – but the conversation I had with Charlie was like re-reading a book. I only remembered some parts, but as I went over the phrases, my memory was jogged.

How could I forget that conversation, though? It was the moment I realized that it was not only I against the world; but someone was actually fighting _with_ me. He didn't deserve the silence treatment that was similar to Renee's. Charlie actually cared for me, unlike Renee.

"Miss?" I looked up from my hands to the cab driver. "We're here."

Indeed we were. We were parked in front of the restaurant, and through the window I could see my group of friends in one of the booths. I grabbed some cash out of my purse and handed it to him. "Thanks." I got out and slammed the door.

The restaurant was one of those casual/classy places. There was a doorman, and all the staff wore deep green, but there was some lightness to it. People were loud, and if we were at a truly formal restaurant, the older folk would have _tsk_-ed.

"Belly Bean!" Emmett yelled from across the room, running to me. I didn't even get a word out before he enveloped me into a bear hug. After about a minute, he released me and set me down gently. "Happy early birthday, kiddo."

"Thanks, Em."

Rosalie gave me a softer hug, whispering, "Happy birthday," into my ear before grabbing my hand and leading me towards the booth. Jasper grinned at me and gave me a one-armed hug. I was shocked, however, when Alice pounced on me. Her hug was even tighter than Emmett's, if that was even possible. When she realized that I was losing breath, she let go. All four of them had then given me their gifts when I noticed someone was missing.

"Where's Edward?" I asked.

"He has a huge paper due first thing in the morning. I believe his words were, 'Karma is seriously biting me in the ass for procrastinating.'" Emmett laughed to himself before continuing, "He also said that to make up for missing this that he would do something really special for you."

Emmett wiggled his eyebrows and I blushed. "Get your mind out of the gutter."

"You're right. Edward is too much of a gentleman for that."

I was slightly disappointed that Edward wasn't here, but at least he would be there tomorrow. Maybe then my birthday would be something to look forward to.

The night escaladed from there. We were the loudest people at the restaurant, which to be honest, didn't really surprise me. We reminisced and joked around, laughing at pretty much anything. Alice even got me a cake, my favorite too – red velvet. She really went all out; setting up balloons around our booth and sprinkling confetti on our table. She even had a banner that read 'Happy Birthday Bella!'. I wasn't surprised she had gone to such great lengths, but more so the fact that she was able to do all of this in the little time that she had.

Just as we began packing up, Jasper came up to me. "You know how I've been working as an assistant for this psychiatrist?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

"Well . . ." He drew out a fat file from his jacket and handed it to me. "It turns out that the guy keeps every single one of his files. Even when his patients pass away." The file felt heavy in my hands, so thick and ragged. I began to open it when Jasper stopped my hand. "Don't open it. Not here."

I gulped. "But, Jazz, why are you giving it to me?"

"Open it when you get home, you'll see."

I eyed him, making sure he wasn't bullshitting me, but he kept a stern expression. I shook off the weird vibe and tucked the file under my arm. I said good-bye to all of them and wishing them safe flights before I left.

**{Believe Me}**

I put the gifts onto the counter and sighed, the file still in my hand. Too tired to read it, I stored it underneath my textbooks. I would read it in the morning. A night of fun had seriously drained me of my energy, and I began getting into my pajamas. With a clean face, I grabbed the phone and pushed buttons. I really owed Charlie a phone call. And as the phone rang, I decided that it was okay that he didn't answer. I would leave him a message. The point was that he needed to know that I was sorry.

"Hello?" A hoarse voice said. I was silent, surprised he actually answered. "Um, hello?"

I shook my head. "Dad," I breathed.

"Bella?"

"The one and only."

I could hear him shuffling around on the other line. "Oh, Bells, I'm so glad you called. It's been so long!"

"I know, Daddy," I said. "I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay, Bell. So how are things?"

That question alone strung a whole novel of explanations. Starting from my classes all the way to Elizabeth and Allie and the mess that had been created. Charlie didn't interrupt me, but he was a good listener. Always was.

"You need to tell that Edward boy the truth, Bell." He stated.

I rolled my eyes. "I know that. But that's the problem – I'm scared!"

"I know sweetheart, but what's holding you back? And if he's as amazing as you make him to be, than he'll understand. If not right away, he would accept it sooner or later. Besides, when I meet him I want him to be fully aware of what's going on."

"You want to meet him?"

Charlie scoffed. "Of course I do. He's your boyfriend, after all. And as long as he's not Mike Newton, than we won't have a problem."

I laughed to myself, I couldn't believe Charlie still hated Mike. "Yeah. I've learned to stay away from losers," I looked at the time and sighed. "I should let you get some rest. I'll call you soon, though, okay?"

"Sounds good, Bell."

"And, Dad?"

"Yes?"

I bit my lip. "Thanks for loving me."

Charlie laughed softly. "You're very welcome. And happy birthday, sweetheart."

We both hung up and I stared at the phone, committing myself to call Charlie every week from now on. I set the phone on my night table and shut off the lights, slipping into the bed. Sleep almost took over me, until I heard my front door creak open. My eyes shot open and my body tensed. The door closed, and I could hear footsteps. I quietly got out of bed and grabbed the umbrella leaning against the wall.

_Why is that whenever I'm in danger, I grab the umbrella?_

I was fucked, for a lack of better words.

I rounded the corner of the hallway and saw the shadow of the intruder. My umbrella was no match for him, but I had to keep hope. I tiptoed towards him, and when I was close enough . . . I attacked. I stabbed and kicked, hearing grunts and groans come from him.

"Bella!" The intruder said. "Bella, stop!"

I knew that voice, and I back away into the wall, my hand fumbling for the light switch. When the fluorescent lights flickered on, my eyes went wide and the umbrella fell to the ground. "Oh my God! Edward I am _so_ sorry!"

Edward stood in jeans and a hoodie, rubbing his arms and stomach and legs . . . basically, everywhere I had stabbed him. I could tell he was trying not to laugh, but I just couldn't believe what happened. "Why is it that whenever I come here, you always threaten me with that umbrella?"

I ignored his teasing. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just a little sore," he laughed.

"Well why are you here? Or, how did you get _in _here?"

Edward scratched he back of his head. "Alice gave me the spare key," _Okay, that key is being abused from it's rightful purpose. _"And I felt bad about not attending tonight, so when I finished my paper I came straight here."

I felt the corners of my mouth turn into a smile, a slight blush flooding my cheeks. "Well, that's sweet of you."

Edward's expression turned into a cheeky grin. "Do you want to just watch a movie or . . ."

"Actually, I was just heading to bed."

His face fell. "Oh, I'm sorry I disturbed you. I'll just see you tomorrow."

"No, Edward wait!" I grabbed his hand and looked at him. "Do you want to stay the night?"

"Do you want me to?" He asked.

"I wouldn't be asking if I didn't want you to stay," I retorted. Edward grinned like and idiot and I shut off the lights in the living room, leading him to my room. I let go of his hand got into bed. He looked at me incredulously, like he didn't know where to sleep. _That paper must have drained him of his intellect. _I waved him towards me and he obliged, taking off his shoes as he got into bed with me. He slipped his arm around my waist and I nestled my head into the crook of his neck, breathing in his warm scent.

"Good night, my Bella," He murmured.

Too tired to reply, I sighed in contentment.

I closed my eyes, and all that went through my head were Charlie's words. _What's holding you back? _Well, a lot of things were. I couldn't picture my life without him, the thought alone pained me. A day without his affection and care would be like a day without air – breathing just wouldn't be possible. Edward was my air – he smelled like cinnamon and musk, a combination that only he could pull off. Everything about him was my survival, not only his smell, but his eyes, his hair, his build, his words, his passion, his voice. And then something struck me, something so powerful and beautiful, yet terrifying at the same time.

_I was in love with him.

* * *

_

**PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!**

**I know from all of your reviews (and I do mean _all, _every single review said something along these lines) that you were excited about Bella finally telling Edward. But it's not happening . . . yet. It will happen, it just didn't happen in this chapter. It's coming soon - like, really SUPER soon! So, don't hate me. This has been planned. Just remember that it's happening in one or two chapters. And then you'll be able to see Eddie-boy's reaction. **

**This chapter was really long . . . so, does that make up for what I did? Hopefully? Maybe?  
**

**If you're one of the few who don't hate me and is still reading this, you get a big theoretical hug! Thank you for understanding =)**

**_About updates_: I'm leaving for NYC next Friday. It's my grandma's 75th birthday and we're all going to surprise her. When I say all, I mean her nine children and their spouses, plus her seventeen grandchildren, one grandchild-in law, one grandchild-in law to be, and one great grandchild. Yup! It's one hell of a surprise, I tell you. But as I was saying. Since I'm leaving next week, and it usually takes me a whole week to write a chapter, I'm going to estimate the next update to be . . . sometime in early August. Haha. Sorry I don't have a specific date, but just know that if I'm late for an update, it's because I'm out of town . . . or out of country.**

**On a random note, has anyone seen _Inception? _If so, how was it? NO SPOILERS, PLEASE. I really want to watch it, but I haven't gotten around to it. I heard it's really good . . .**

**Okay, good night my lovelies. Or good morning? It's one in the morning . . . but I'll post this sometime in the afternoon so . . . Good afternoon my lovely readers ; )**

**Don't forget to REVIEW!  
**

**Karina.**


	24. Chapter 23: Exquisite

**Sometimes it seems that the going is just too rough**

**And things go wrong no matter what I do**

**Now and then it seems that life is just too much**

**But you've got the love I need to see me through**

_**- You've Got The Love, Florence + The Machine**_

* * *

Chapter 23: Exquisite

Instead of waking in the warm embrace I had expected, I found myself blinking mindlessly, cold and alone under my sheets. My arms reached forward, my palms sweeping the soft fabric. As I sat up slightly, I noticed a piece of paper on the empty pillow beside me – the empty pillow that once lay below Edward's head. It had my name written on it in his perfect script, and an arrow on the bottom right corner. I flipped it over and read.

_I had to drop off that paper I was working on last night. I should be back by 9:30._

_Edward._

A part of me, the understanding side, was relieved to know that Edward only left because of his paper. That it wasn't one of those moments where one left before they woke up, leaving them with thoughts like, what the _hell_, dude? But the selfish side of me was disappointed. I knew that that paper of his was probably extremely important – because, hell, everything done in college is a pretty big deal – but I wished that I had woken up with him beside me. My body so close to his as his sweet breath tickled my neck.

I especially wanted that after the epiphany I had last night. Even the thought brought chills to my skin. Soothing chills, with a hint of terror. I was almost afraid that I would freeze from the euphoric sensation these goose bumps initiated.

But . . . Love. I never would have thought love would feel like this. Then again, I had never been in love before. I really liked it.

With a smile on my lips, I shot out of bed. I slipped my feet into some fuzzy slippers and grabbed the hair tie from me nightstand, bringing my hair into a messy bun. The kitchen looked used – the toaster was still plugged in, the butter was laid out, and the dishes were clean. At least he ate. I also noticed that he made coffee, I thanked both him and God telepathically. I took a mug out of the cupboard, the light green one I always used, and poured myself some coffee. As I sipped on the coffee, I wondered how Edward drank his. He worked at Starbucks, so did he like making fancy concoctions? Or maybe he was like me and liked it black. There were still so many things I wanted to know about him.

I had about an forty-five before Edward came back, what was I supposed to do until then? Just sit here and drink my coffee? Well, it wasn't too bad of an idea. I sprung from my former position of sitting on the counter to moving towards the dining table. Just as I was about to sit down, my hip pushed over my schoolbooks, resulting in my notes scattering all over the floor.

"Son of a bitch," I grumbled. Setting the mug onto the table, I got down on my knees and started gathering my notes. It was a good thing I _always _put the date and title on top of each page, other wise organizing this would have been even more hell. The textbooks were opened and some were flipped over, but much easier than notes. Much. Actually, that was kind of a lie. My books were organized in a way that it matched my schedule. Ergo, I threw my schedule away. Most would think that I knew my schedule by heart after a few weeks, but I obviously didn't. I never even looked at my books as I took them. It would be a guessing game before I glanced at the title.

I spent moments on the floor – foot tapping as I bit my lip in thought. It took me around ten minutes before I realized I could always check my notes – like I said earlier, I was relieved to have put the dates and titles on all of the papers. From there I followed which order my books went. _Thank God. _Just as I set the books and papers on the table, I found the file that Jasper had given me last night.

Oh, right. I hid the file underneath my books.

It would still be a while until Edward returned, so as I sat down on the chair with "oh, what the hell?" on my mind, I opened the manila file. It was so thick and heavy, and I was dying to know why it was important, so important that Jasper felt the need to hand it to me without his boss knowing. The first three words I read inside was the client's name.

Allison "Allie" Wright.

Great, what were the chances that Jasper's boss just so happened to be Allie's former psychiatrist? This chick just wouldn't give me a damn break. Pretty much all the first page said was basic information – age, address, emergency contact number, medication … the works. I flipped that one over and thankfully the second page actually had some good stuff.

It turned out that I was right about Allie getting pregnant only weeks before prom. Dr. Manning, the psychiatrist, had written down that the moment she found out – a few days _after _prom – she went straight to him.

_April 23__rd__, 2006_

_Allie had symptoms of a pregnancy a few weeks ago, and had been watching her body. It wasn't until two hours ago that her suspicions had been confirmed. She didn't tell her father, and when asked if she ever will, she said no. I asked her why she never talks about her father, but she quickly changed the subject to how scared she was of being pregnant._

_I obliged, telling her that her former boyfriend needed to know. He was, after all, her emergency contact number. She had informed me about what had happened at her high school's prom, and was still devastated, but I told her that the boy had the rite to know._

_At the end of the session, I gave Allie a new bottle of pills to handle the depression._

The only thing I had learned from that was that Edward had been her emergency contact. Not her dad, but Edward. I read through some more pages. Allie seemed to go to therapy a lot. Dr. Manning said that she was scheduled for three o'clock to four forty-five every Thursday, but that she made many drop-ins. He also mentioned that her dad didn't know about her seeking therapy. Maybe Allie and her dad had a lot more strain than she had told me before. I flipped through some more pages before I came to the last two pages of notes.

_June 15__th__, 2006_

_Allie seems a little happier. Her grades are picking up to the fantastic straight A's she once had, and her appearance is healthier. She is showing a slight baby-bump, only noticeable to those who know about it. She has informed me that her father still doesn't know, and he never would because she is turning eighteen in a few days and that "after graduation, she was moving out."_

_It has also come to my attention that the father of the baby isn't aware that the baby even exists. When I warned her about the consequences, she only told me that when she moved out, she would never looked back. However, I knew she was lying. After all these months, I could tell when she lied. She had something up her sleeve. _

_Hopefully in time she let's me know the plan, just in case it ends in something horrible. _

_June 25__th__, 2006_

_Today was Allie's graduation ceremony. She had invited me, so I went. I was shocked to see that she was not there. At the time, all I thought was that she was ill. I was wrong._

_I overheard an elder woman talking to a boy about her. She had killed herself the other night. Only a day after her eighteenth birthday. I guessed that this boy must have been her former boyfriend, because once he heard the news, he walked away without another word._

_I talked to the older woman, who turned out to be a maid for Allie's dad. She seemed astonished that I was her psychiatrist, which only proved my theory of Allie not telling anyone of her therapy. When I asked how she killed herself, the woman said she had slit her wrists._

_It is a shame that such a bright young woman had ultimately killed her life. I wish she had come to me first if she was feeling such severe depression, but what's done is done. Because Allie didn't want anyone to know about her therapy, I have decided to keep her wishes and not let her family know. The older woman agreed. And as I write in her file for the last time, all I could think is:_

_When Allie said that when she moved out and wasn't going to look back, did she mean she was going to commit suicide? If so, I have failed her. God bless. _

I felt dirty reading this, especially since Dr. Manning had wanted this secret in memory of Allie. I turned over the last page and was met with medical documents of her depression, and many more regarding the pregnancy. Deciding that hiding the file under my books wasn't a good idea, I got off the chair and gaited towards my room. No one looked in the drawers of my desk, mostly because I didn't let them. Anyone who sneaked a peek would have no hands by the time I was finished with them. I opened the third drawer from the bottom and saw the picture of Edward and his parents – the same one Elizabeth had given me. I stared at it and grinned out how cute Edward was when he was a kid.

The front door then slammed shut, making me jump in surprise.

"Bella?" Edward called. I stuffed file into the drawer and shut it. As I began to stand up, I realized that I still had the photo in my hand. Panic began to settle when I heard his footsteps nearing. I half ran to my jacket and stuffed it in the pocket. It was near my bed, and once I was sure the picture wasn't seen, I collapsed onto the bed and stuffed myself into the blankets.

"Hey, there you are," The sweetest voice murmured in my ear. "Trying to fake that you're asleep?"

"Damn," I laughed, "How did you know?"

I fluttered my eyes open, glad that I opened them when I did – I made it just in time to see him smile. "There was a mug of warm coffee on your table."

"Well aren't you just observant," I said.

Edward smirked and leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. "Happy Birthday, Bella," He whispered against my lips. Just as we deepened into the kiss, I remembered a very important factor. _My breath. _I had yet to brush my teeth, not to mention I mixed in some coffee earlier.

I groaned. "Edward, we have to stop."

"Why?"

"Because I have awful morning breath," I replied, feeling a warm flush on my cheeks.

"I don't mind," Edward said, beginning to lean in. I pressed my fingertips to his puckered lips and giggled.

"But _I _do. Let me brush my teeth."

"You might as well just get ready, while you're at it. I made reservations for breakfast."

"Why breakfast?"

"You have to start your big day with a feast. At least, that's what I think. And since you're spending it with me, a big feast is what you'll be getting."

I rolled my eyes. "It's my birthday, shouldn't I be the one calling the shots?" Edward gave me a stern look, "Okay. A heavy breakfast it is. Give me twenty minutes."

Once on my feet, I walked passed Edward, only to have him gently grab my arm. "I just want this day to be perfect. You deserve perfect."

I definitely _did not _deserve perfect, but I couldn't help but wrap my arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. "Twenty minutes, okay?" I let go when I felt him nod.

The first thing I did when I entered the bathroom was brush my teeth. I had no idea how Edward was able to stand my mouth, but he did. If it had been reversed, I would have ordered him to … Well, I probably wouldn't have cared. Edward could have shown up, not having showered in days, and I would still find him attractive. That's what love did to me. It was so, so _strange. _So as I turned on the shower and stepped in, I found myself washing my hair and body almost hastily. Why? Well, because Edward was waiting for me.

It was like I wasn't even in control anymore.

I wrapped a towel around my body and wrung my hair. Shit, it was cold in the bathroom, which was so weird since I had just showered. The mirror was fogged. I raised my hand and pressed the palm to the glass, slowly circling it in order to clear the reflection. I wiped and wiped until I saw a figure in the corner by the door. I gasped and whipped around, only to sigh relief when it was Elizabeth.

"Oh my God," I whispered, trying to slow my heartbeat. "You scared me."

In a classic Elizabeth pose, standing upright with hands folded in the front, Elizabeth nodded once with a grin. "Happy birthday, Bella. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

I continued in a hush tone. "It's fine, and thank you. I've never had someone tell me happy birthday in my bathroom before."

"I would have done it gladly outside when you were dressed, but Edward is out there. I'll let you get on with your day, have fun."

"Thanks, Elizabeth." She blended in with the mist floating in the air, and the temperature was set back to normal.

I was now _very _sure that Elizabeth wasn't happy about my not telling Edward. The tone she had used when she said that Edward was outside, almost sounded like she was trying to say: 'Edward is out there, and because you didn't tell him he can't see you talking to no one like a freak. Way to go.' It hurt that I had disappointed Elizabeth, but I would set it right. Someday … Somehow.

A gush of cool air splashed me once I opened the door. I could hear the TV coming from the television. I tip toed to my bedroom, trying to be quiet in case Edward heard my footsteps and thought I was finished. It would be embarrassing if he saw me in nothing but a towel.

One step into my room, and I noticed that it had been cleaned. My bed was made. The several water bottles on my desk were gone. The dust that used to be painted onto my furniture had also been removed. Damn, even an outfit was lying on my bed. Edward was such a clean freak, and I liked it. I put on undergarments before putting on the skinny jeans and blue blouse Edward left for me.

"Bella?" Edward said through the door, "Are you ready?"

I applied my lipstick and puckered my lips. Good enough. Edward knocked lightly once, and I took that as an initiation to get moving by grabbing my purse and opening the door. "I'm good," I told him.

"You look fantastic."

"I hope so – you were the one who picked this outfit for me," I teased, grabbing his hand and leading him out of my apartment. "Let's get going, my stomach is grumbling like crazy."

Edward chuckled. "Lead the way – it's _your _birthday."

**{Believe Me}**

"I know you said that I should lead the way, but you're the one who knows which restaurant you reserved for us," I said, looking down at the autumn leaf-filled sidewalk.

"We're here," Was all he said.

When he started turning towards the door, I stopped. My eyes wandered to the name that was scripted on said door, and laughed. "You had me scared for a second, Edward. I thought it was going to be high end like the place you brought me to on our first date."

_Al's Diner_ was a family restaurant – therefore, it meant that it was affordable. I used to eat here all the time since the food was so tasty and the prices were reasonable. In fact, it was probably one of my favorite restaurants. It had been a while since I had gone here – too many things going on.

"Did you not like that restaurant?" Edward asked. I couldn't help but notice his voice shake a bit.

"No, I loved it!" I corrected myself. "It's just the way you were talking about the reservation, like it was one of those places where if you aren't there at said time, the reservation never existed. You don't even need to reserve a table here."

"I didn't reserve. Alice told me that this was one of your favorite restaurants, so I decided that it would be a nice way to start your day."

"Then why did you say you had reservations?"

"Because I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could. You were going to stay in your pajamas all day if I didn't say that."

_That's pretty damn true._ "So my favorite restaurant _and _a big breakfast? You're spoiling me," I teased.

Edward grinned then, resting his arm around my shoulders. "That's sort of the plan."

The first thing I heard when we stepped into _Al's Diner _was Regina's, the middle-aged waitress with platinum blond hair, shrilly voice. At first, she gave me hell for not going over to the diner for so long, saying how she thought I had fallen off the face of Earth. But then she looked at Edward, which strung a whole new conversation about our relationship. And then from there, she remembered it was my birthday. And because it was my birthday, she decorated our table with confetti cut out of napkins. It was awful looking, but I appreciated it all the same.

As Edward went over the itinerary for the day, all I could think was how perfect, yet imperfect he was. In truth, I could care less what we did, just as long as I was with him. Breakfast alone was a party – especially when Edward got whipped cream on his nose. Since I laughed, he put whipped cream on my nose, which caused another fit of laughter. I observed as Edward ate his pancakes. I could tell he really liked them. We could go to any fancy restaurant, but none would be as filling and fattening as _Al's Diner._

"My mom used to take me to places like this for my birthday," Edward mentioned once Regina took our plates. "Esme and Carlisle always took Emmett and I to a high-end place for our birthdays. It's not like I don't appreciate it, because I do, I just miss this kind of food. This atmosphere."

And there it was – that little tiny crack that was yet to be fixed.

We left the diner with high hopes again, and a threat from Regina saying that if I didn't come more often that she would put up missing-person-signs all over New York.

Next on Edward's list was Central Park, which wasn't too far away from here. I liked taking walks here – Rosalie and I would usually go once in a while. But like I said earlier, things were getting too hectic.

It wasn't until we were on the horse carriage did I realize that everything on Edward's list were my favorite places to go and activities to do. He must have gotten this information from the gang, because I never told Edward that I liked going to Times Square just for the sake of seeing myself in the huge _Forever 21 _screen. I also never told him that I liked going to Macy's just to try on sunglasses for the hell of it. He did everything with me – even the ridiculous ones like yelling at couples with too much PDA to get a room. He made this probably one of the best birthdays, though the only ones I could compare to were with Alice (and those were pretty grand), I wished that every year on this day, it would be like this.

I remembered when it was my birthday and I was still living with Renee. Phil had always been kind, and in a way, I thought of him as one of my good friends. He always took me to see a baseball game with him. But when he handed me to Renee … well, all she did when we "bonded" was complain. Whining about how much she had to do at home. Whining about which color to paint her room. Whining about _everything_. The worst thing, however, was when she said she didn't know why she was "celebrating" my birthday with me if I had ghost friends to celebrate with.

It wasn't until today that I truly loved birthdays.

"Your hot dog, my lady," Edward said, "Just the way you like it."

"The works?" I asked happily.

He laughed. "Of course. You know, I'd never thought I'd see you get excited about a wiener." I choked on my first bite of the hot dog. "Don't get dirty, Miss Swan."

"Sorry," I smiled. "Couldn't help it." I opened my mouth to take another bite when I noticed a pale face watching me. I looked up, and there she was. Allie. "Um, I'm going to ask for more napkins, I'll be right back."

Edward nodded and took my hotdog.

I started towards the stand – Allie was standing a few feet closer. She had this blank look on her face, and as I neared, she turned to her left towards an alley. I looked back once to see if Edward was watching me, but he was observing the dancing that was causing a crowd in the middle of the sidewalk. So I took a sharp turn towards the same alley she had entered. Except, as I was facing the dark, narrow space … I saw no one. No one but an old man searching the trash bin. It didn't make sense! Allie had been watching me, and when I followed her, she was gone. What did she want from me now?

I shook my head and turned back, remembering to get some napkins for show. "Hey," I greeted Edward, who gave me my hotdog. "So what's happening over there?" I asked before taking a bite.

"That guy was break dancing – incredible stuff," He replied. "We've done everything on the list."

I frowned. "I don't want this day to end."

"It doesn't have to. What do you want to do?"

I contemplated, thinking if we should go back to Central Park or if we should just go back to _Al's Diner _and simply chill in one of the booths. All I really wanted to do was relax.

Contemplations were over when an idea struck me. "How about we just go to my place and, you know, just unwind?"

"Is that what you want?" I nodded and he smiled. "Then that's what we'll do."

We held hands all the way back. I never wanted to let go, especially when we had to push through crowds. It was that fear of thinking that if we get lost in a crowd, that I would never see him again. So I held on tighter. His hand was so big; caressing my small hand like it was so fragile, like he was looking out for me.

I almost frowned when Edward let go so he could hold the door to the apartment building open for me. But then he grabbed my hand again and relief flooded through me.

"Oh!" I smacked my forehead with the palm of my other hand. "I forgot my mom wanted me to check the mail. Apparently she sent something for me, and that she would know if I didn't check on it.

Edward's brows furrowed. "Well, that's freaky."

"No kidding," I laughed. "It won't take long," I said as we walked towards the mailboxes.

"It's okay, Bella. I'll wait for you – no matter what."

"You're _so _corny, Edward."

"But you like it."

I rose onto my toes, whispering against his lips, "Yeah, I do."

I didn't expect for Edward to attack me with his mouth, but I welcomed it. The kiss was soft at first, our lips slowly moving together. But then it grew deeper – him sucking on my bottom lip and my hands grasping on to the hair at the back of his head. I swear I wouldn't have stopped if it wasn't for a person clearing their throat.

"Bella! You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend! What did I say about you telling me those kind of things?"

I froze, my face slowly turning towards the voice. My eyes widened in the sight in front of me. A woman with short brown hair and doe blue eyes had a teasing smile on her thin lips. She had laugh lines and a thin waist any woman her age would die for. She outstretched her arm to, granting me with a package.

"This is from Charlie, sweetheart," She said.

I gulped. "Mom?"

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**LET THE DRAMA BEGIN!**

**I know, as if there isn't _already _enough drama. You'll just have to wait and see what happens during Renee's visit. Muahahaha :)**

**I just came back from New York on the 7th of August, so I think this update is pretty good timing, right? I hope? ... :) ? Haha. Anyways, I definitely want to get the next chapter out before I start school again (bleh). I start on September 3rd (A Friday ... I know, lame right?). I probably will get it out before then. So yeah! I have like, 1/3 of the next chapter done because I have been planning it for so long. **

**So I was watching the Teen Choice Awards, like many other teens, and I couldn't help but notice how many awards Taylor Lautner won. I don't mean to be rude, BUT WHAT THE HELL? Teen Hottie .. okay, well .. I admit - he's not that bad looking. But best actor:fantasy? Um ... no. I'm sorry. Maybe I'm just upset over how Rob was totally robbed, but whatever. All I'm saying, is that Team Edward completely, and sadly, slacked this year. Wah :(**

**Okay. That's it! Check out my profile for the _playlist_ of this story or to see the _trailer_. Check out my _twitter_ and _tumblr_, which is also on my profile. Have a good one, guys.**

**Review, my lovelies!**

**Karina.**


	25. Chapter 24: Destruction

Hi, you guys. I had to upload this chapter because there was some issues. For some strange reason FanFiction wasn't showing this chapter to new comers. It only shows for people who subscribed to this story .. and not to anyone else. It's not fair for the people who started reading and won't get the privilege of reading the next chapter. So if you have already read this .. you can just skip it. Unless, you know, you want to read it again. Enjoy :)

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Disclaimer: All parts referring to Twilight (characters and or any other themes) belong to the lovely Stephenie Meyer.

I wish I thought of it first ... JK :) But the plot and the character development is mine.

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**I shot for the sky**

**I'm stuck on the ground**

**So why do I try, I know I'm gonna to fall down**

**I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?**

**Never know why it's coming down, down, down**

**Oh I am going down, down, down**

**Can't find another way around**

**And I don't want to hear the sound, of losing what I never found.**

_**- Down, Jason Walker

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**A/N: I suggest you check out this song - it's beautiful! **

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Chapter 24: Destruction

"Oooh," Renee cooed as she set her bags down on the wooden floors of my apartment. "What a nice apartment."

I looked away awkwardly. "Um, thanks."

The tension in the room was so thick, I was pretty much suffocating from the lack of fresh air. Edward could sense my discomfort and held onto my hand. I could tell he didn't know what to do in the situation since he smiled shyly once in a while. Renee, however, didn't even twitch or falter in her smiling front. In fact, it was kind of freaking me out.

"I remember my first apartment – it was a piece of crap," Renee chuckled at the memory, turning her gaze onto Edward. He did that hesitant smile again. "Where do you live, Edward? I feel like I hardly … Well, I _don't _really know you, since Bella has failed to tell me about her love life."

What she truly meant was: Bella didn't tell me shit about you, so now I'm here on her birthday, uninvited, to ruin her life.

Bitch.

"I see, so you live in one of the newer buildings," She said, brining me out of my reverie.

"Yes, Ma'am," Edward replied.

"Handsome and rich," She commented. "Bella, darling, I can't believe you haven't told me how perfect your boyfriend is!"

Renee reached for my hand, and the minute our skin contacted, I retreated backwards. Deciding to change the subject, I asked, "How long are you staying for?"

"A week at the most. I was thinking of a Girl's Weekend … Except without the 'end' part. Can you show me the way to your guest room, sweetie? I just want to drop of my bags."

My mouth hung open, and it took me only a few seconds to compose my expression. "You're planning on staying in my apartment?"

"Of course!" Renee exclaimed, almost like she was stating what she thought was obvious. "Why should I pay to stay at a hotel when my daughter has her own place in New York? And besides, we have so many things to catch up on!"

"Right, I don't know _what _I was thinking!" I replied, painting on just a slight dose of sarcasm. Renee didn't catch on, so I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Second room on your left."

"Thank you, Darling."

"Bella."

"What?"

"Don't call me darling or sweetie … Just Bella," I told her. I wasn't comfortable with her giving me pet names.

She nodded, and before she left for the guest room she replied, "Okay, Bella."

Renee seemed to be taking quite a while in the guest room, and at first I thought she was taking a nap. Then I heard the shower running, and all I could think was: as long as she was going to invite herself here, might as well make herself feel at home. It wasn't until Edward told me to relax did I realize that I was fuming with anger. Not even the profanities going off in my subconscious brought justice. I literally wanted to throw her out of here.

So with that being said, Edward said that he could help me make dinner. I agreed, but only because if I was cooking, I would have a knife. And just in case Renee tried to stunt shit, that knife would be handy. As I cut vegetables, I thought of different ways to torture Renee. And as I cooked the meat, I thought of different ways to lure her into the boiling room. Needless to say, Edward noticed this – because apparently, I had a malicious look on my face – and decided to take over the cooking. He then told me that maybe I should just deal with the drinks.

Not a bad idea, actually. I could smash her head with one of the wine bottles …

Again, Edward took away my privilege and tried to sooth my firing emotions.

"Look, Bella," He said quietly. "I know your mother being here is a shock to you. And I also know that you aren't her biggest fan, but try to make the best of the situation. It's your birthday, and she came here to celebrate with you. So, at least humor her."

"What if I don't want to 'humor her'?" I asked, quoting the last bit of his sentence. "What if all I want to do is kick her ass out of my apartment and tell her to go to hell?"

"Bella …"

"Edward, look. You're forgetting that this was the woman who made my life hell, the woman, who also got _rid of me _because she was selfish and wanted me out of her life. I'm just going to do her a favor."

With those marvelous eyes of his, he looked at me, like he was using compulsion. Well, it was working, because I was completely entranced. "I did not forget. I just think you should give her a chance. And plus, I think it's about time I met one of your parents, since you've already met mine."

"You could have met Charlie instead," I muttered.

"And hopefully, I will. But for now, your mother will do. Just try to have fun, it's your …"

"Birthday," I finished for him. "Yeah, I got it. And I guess since you want to get to know her, I'll allow it. But only for you, okay?"

"You're amazing, you know that?"

I shrugged. "And I …" My mouth shut the minute I realized what I was about to say. "I think you're amazing, too. And thanks for the wonderful day."

Edward smiled, and I really wanted to press my lips to his, just so I can feel his smile as we kissed. And though I had put up somewhat of a stubborn fight, the truth was that even if Edward didn't beg me, I would have said yes. I would say yes to anything Edward asked of me, and I wouldn't even give it a second thought.

I decided to set the table, for Edward's sake. There really wasn't anything to hurt Renee with, except for the plates, and the utensils. Actually, those alone would do plenty. But I promised Edward that I would be good. That, however, didn't mean that I wasn't allowed to continue my fantasy of physically hurting Renee. That bitch could kiss my ass!

"Bellaaaaaaaa," whispered a voice so shaky that it drawled my name just a bit. I set the last knife down and looked up. Allie was now there, looking the worse I ever saw her. Honestly? She looked like she came from a horror movie. What, with her hair covering her face and her skin so dirty that it was almost gray. Even that fucking prom dress was frayed and discolored. "Bellaaaaa," She whispered again. Except this time it sounded more strained. Like she couldn't breathe.

Then she started choking.

Then her wrists started bleeding.

Then she began to run away.

Without even thinking, I followed Allie. Her blood dripped along the floor, leaving a trail towards the bathroom. I could hear Renee humming a tune, but all I could process was that Allie was in there. This chick was literally stressing me out – and sometimes I wondered if she also suffered from being bipolar. The coughing coming from the other side of the door omitted my thoughts of other illness Allie had, since I knew those congestions did not belong to Renee.

"Watch …" I heard, her voice hoarse. "Be … careful."

_What the fuck was she talking about?_

"Bellaaaaa, be careful," Allie managed to say, though it sounded like she said it in one breath.

_That's it, _I thought, _I'm barging in and I don't care if Renee starts bitching._

However, just as my hand reached the doorknob, the bathroom door swung open. Both Renee and I were surprised, jumping back a step. She laughed lightly then, and shook her head. "If you needed to use the bathroom, you could have come in. It's yours, after all. And it's not like I haven't seen you naked before."

I really wanted to tell her that the last time she saw me naked was when I a kid. Like, before puberty even entered my line of vocabulary. But I was looking beyond Renee, searching for any sign of Allie. There was nothing, only the faint sound of crying. I looked back down the hallway, and the trail of blood was gone as well. Nothing made sense!

"Did you see one of Them?" Renee suddenly asked.

"W-what?" I stammered.

"You know what I said, Bella," She smiled, though it seemed forced. "I'll just leave you to it, then."

She brushed my shoulder lightly as she walked past me. The wave of rejection suddenly hit me, and I had that rush of disappointment wash over me again. Even after all of these years, Renee was _still _able to crush me with her dismissal. My eyes began to burn and I swallowed hard. This birthday of mine was beginning to turn from perfect to disastrous.

**{Believe Me}**

If I were to describe the dinner in one word, it would be awkward. But then that would be the understatement of all time. Well, maybe it was just awkward for _me. _Edward and Renee were the ones carrying on the conversation, and I would occasionally nod to show to Edward that I was trying. But most of my attention was towards my fork as it played around with the steamed vegetables. It wasn't until their conversation had turned towards me did I automatically forget about the food.

"When Bella was little, maybe four-years-old, she went through this potion phase," Renee said, chuckling a little. "She would always make concoctions with my perfume or the bathroom soap. Sometimes, she would go to the kitchen and get some tea bags. Well, needless to say, the house always had a … _different _scent everyday."

As much as I wanted to point that she only liked this memory because it was before my _abilities _kicked in, instead I said, "I didn't have a potion phase. I was merely trying to define my own smell. A boy down the street didn't like my smell, so I tried to change it."

I felt Edward take my hand, so warm and gentle. "I happen to love your scent."

I couldn't even reply – nothing witty or sweet or embarrassing, because Renee beat me to it. "He's a keeper, Bella. I approve!"

If anything, I was glad Renee approved of Edward. But if she were to hate everything of me, at least I knew she liked Edward. It made him happy, too, hearing her say that. But then again Renee was easier to persuade, since she was a truly vain woman. It was Charlie that I was a little more worried about. Obviously, he would also approve – because, honestly, who _didn't _approve of Edward – but it might take him a little longer to become so welcoming.

Throughout the rest of dinner, as I took the plates and washed them, cleaning the table and putting away leftovers, Edward and Renee continued to converse. It was a little disturbing that they were discussing me, but Edward seemed to enjoy her stories. My childhood. And as Renee tried to inform Edward the little she knew of my life since she never truly cared to be in it, I was the one to correct her when she got something wrong. So basically, I fixed everything she was telling him, because she didn't even get those normal parts of my life right.

I tried really, _really _hard not to scream.

"Bella gave me quite a scare when she was six. Oh that day is so clear, almost like it was yesterday," Renee told Edward. Her voice a little muffled since I was still in the kitchen.

Though all I could think was: Yes you remember it so clearly that it's almost foggy.

"Why, what did she do?"

"It was like any day in the summer – I would relax out in our garden, sipping on lemonade, just watching her. Bella would always play with her Barbie dolls or just watch the clouds. Except, on that day, I got a call. When I came back, Bella was hysterical."

"Did she see something?" Edward inquired.

"Oh, she definitely saw something," Renee quipped. "She kept on ranting about how she saw this boy, I believe his name was Jacob, gunshot in the head and many, many stabbings. Apparently, he lost his dog. And then she just went crazy when she exclaimed he was in our house. But when I looked, there was no one there. I thought it might have been schizophrenia.

So I took her to the hospital, and after a few examinations, the doctors told me that she showed no signs of schizophrenia. Nothing that would develop when she got older. So I thought it was just a scare. It wasn't until I read the newspaper did I realize what Bella had seen."

"Please don't tell me she saw some creep," I heard him say.

That story, it seemed so familiar … I couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe she was making it up, Renee was always imaginative.

"No, not technically. In the paper, there was this article about a boy who had been murdered in alley – he was looking for his dog. Bella said that the photo of him was exactly like the boy she had seen, except that the boy died days before Bella saw him."

"I don't think I'm following …"

I wasn't either – until it clicked. Gunshot to the head. Schizophrenia scare. The truth that had come at the most unexpected time … Renee was telling Edward about the first time I saw one of Them. I dropped the dishtowel and sprinted towards the living room, trying to stop her before she ruined everything. He couldn't know like this. Edward needed to hear it from me. I … I just needed to do it the right way.

"You're joking," Edward laughed, slapping his knee. "Ghosts? Bella, _my Bella, _can see ghosts." My breath was heavy, and when Edward looked at me, chuckled. "Your mom is funny, Bell."

Renee touched his shoulder and shook her head. "I'm not joking, dear. You should know that."

"Yes, yes you are. Right, Bella?" He asked me, still laughing.

I tried to say something, _anything, _but my tongue was tied. I was beginning to choke on my words. Edward's smile then faded, and he stood. He knew then, I was sure of it. Edward mumbled that he had to go, saying farewell to Renee, but ignoring me as he left. I was so stunned; I didn't know what to do. The pounding of my heart seemed to beat like a drum, hard and loud. I couldn't leave it like that – he needed to know more. Edward needed to know the rest of story. He needed to hear what I had say. So I grabbed my coat and dashed out of my apartment, leaving Renee behind.

**{Believe Me}**

I didn't know how long my search for him prolonged; I just knew that I was nowhere near his place or mine. Not even the middle. Before I knew it, I was walking down a street that I had visited a while back. It was when I bailed Jenna out of jail. When Edward and I finally made up. Nothing changed – it was still clean (as clean as a town in New York could be) and it was peacefully quiet. I was walking by the café I had scolded those teenaged boys were in, when I saw him.

Edward.

He was just about to cross street, but stopped when I called his name. I screamed his name as I ran towards him. Even from a bit of a distance I could see the blank expression on his face – the appearance that didn't tell what he was thinking. And all I wanted was to know what the hell he was thinking. His shoulders sulked as he watched me run for him. It was awful to look at – I was so used to the cheerful Edward, the one who would smile when he saw me.

I was practically out of breath when I approached. "You have to let me explain."

Edward looked away, biting on the inside of his cheek. "Do you really see ghosts?"

"Yes," I said, though it was barely a whisper.

"Then you're crazy," He scolded. "There is not a fucking way in _hell _that you can see the dead."

Again, he was about to cross the street, when I remembered what was in my coat pocket. Elizabeth's picture. "Before you leave," I called to him, taking out the glossy photograph. "I think you should have this. Elizabeth would have wanted you to have it."

He took it, and when he looked at the image, I heard him gasp. For a moment, a moment so quick that it felt like hours, it was dead silent. Then he said, "Where did you get this? I haven't seen it since . . ."

"I know," I finished for him, "Your mom gave it to me."

Edward shook his head. "No. There must be another copy. Maybe it's in my house somewhere and I just don't remember."

"That's not it, and you know it. Elizabeth gave it to me. She took it out of the pocket of that damned yellow dress and handed it to me." I tried looking him in the eyes; even if he was too focused on the picture. "Think about it, Edward. How else would I have gotten the photograph?"

Again, the dead silence made another round. This time, however, I could tell he was truly thinking over my question. His eyebrows furrowed and his lips were pursed. "How long have you been able to see . . .?"

"Ghosts? Just like when Renee told you – when I was six." Out of all the stories she had gotten wrong, she just had to get _this particular one _just about perfect. She really did know it like it happened yesterday.

"No. I was asking how long have you been ale to see my mom." His question sliced through my train of thought, shocking me. But I guess it really shouldn't come like a surprise, since that was an obvious question to ask.

I gulped. "Since Emmett's birthday."

Edward finally looked up from the photograph to glare at me. He ran both of his hands through his hair roughly. "So, you've known for ten months and you didn't tell me. Does everyone else know?" I nodded, not being able to say something. Edward never glared at me before, and it made me feel so small. I could feel tears forming in the corner of my eyes. "When were you going to let me into the loop?"

"I was going to tell you two months ago, but I got scared."

"Scared of what?"

"That," I sighed, trying to swallow my tears. "That you would reject me."

"You thought that? After everything we had, you still believe I would leave you, neglect you, like your mom," I didn't answer. I just looked at him because I knew that the answer was yes, and he knew it too. "Well. Maybe you were right."

Edward turned around and began to amble away. It wasn't until then that I noticed that I ran after him. My feet shuffled against the cement, and just as I touched his arm, he turned. "Please don't leave," I pleaded.

He stood square to me, watching me with that same blank expression. "Why?"

"Just, please, _please _don't leave me," I cried. I was tugging on his arm now. The tears freelancing their way down my face.

"But why, Bella? _Why?_"

"Because … Because I love you, Edward."

His eyes grew wide, like he was shocked at what I had just said. I was surprised as well. Not over the fact that I said it, but that it was so much easier to say those three words to him, than the truth. His vulnerable eyes only lasted a second, and then they turned to pain. He shook his head and turned away from me once again.

"I'm sorry. But – but I have to go," was all he said before he continued his journey away from me.

I didn't even run after him again, because my mind and my body were not in sync. As much as my legs yelled to go for him, my thoughts were taunting me, telling me that even if I did go after him, nothing would change his mind. And that dismissal, that sort of rejection that I knew was going to pain me more so than anything I had ever experienced, was brought to life.

And all I had left were the tears that fell into my hands.

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**Honestly? I don't really have anything to say about this chapter .. except for the fact that I am bittersweet about it. I'm glad that I finally got it out, because it's been planned for so long, but I'm sad because of what happened between Bella and Edward. But hey .. we still have more chapters to come, so who knows what's going to happen? Well, actually, I do :) You'll just have to wait and see!**

**What do you think Allie was trying to warn Bella about? And why _did _Renee make a sudden appearance? Let me know your predictions in a review!**

**Guess what? I updated pretty early! Usually I do one every two weeks .. but not this time. Are you happy? Or are you kind of bittersweet of the situation as well? Anyways, the main reason I updated a week in advance was because tomorrow I'll be leaving for Arizona, and would be no where near a computer for a week. And when I get back (August 28th) I'll only have five days before summer ends, and my friends and I plan on making the best of those days. But I'll get you your next update in two weeks, just like always. Hang in there!**

**I'll be in Scottsdale this week, so for those of you who know the area, do you have any suggestions as to places I should visit? Like malls (GIVE ME TONS OF MALL IDEAS! I NEED MY DOSE OF SHOPPING!), restaurants, markets .. I don't know. Just let me know!**

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**I have some Fic Recs!**

**High Anxiety** by **EdwardsBloodType:** Cute, trendy Bella returns home to escape the heartache of her past. She immediately befriends neighbors Jasper and Edward, bonding with them in the treehouse out back. Bella and Edward discover they have more in common than they ever dreamed of. AH A/U **(Warning: Lemons! WIP! I'm sure many of you have read this, but for those who haven't, you MUST! Enough said)**

**Hit By Destiny **by** ocdmess:** Bella wants to die, and almost gets her wish fulfilled when she gets hit by a shiny Volvo. She is left with serious injuries, and the only thing keeping her from dying is the person who hit her. AH, OOC, rated M for dark themes and lemons. **(This story is so angsty! It's a WIP, but every time I get an e-mail saying that it was updated, I feel like jumping in the air)**

**Memories Left Behind **by** Ailisraevyn:** Edward doesn't remember anything about his life before thirteen. Bella's mom abandoned her and her father when she was five. Can these broken souls save each other, or will their past tear them apart? AH, Canon Couples, Language & Drug Use. **(Also quite angsty. Also a WIP. Also another one that makes me feels like jumping when it's updated.**

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**Okay, please REVIEW! Let me know your predictions, and if you know the Scottsdale area, what places I should see! Also, and most important, let me know your thoughts. Good? Bad? Bittersweet?**

**Yes, soooo, review my lovely readers.**

**God Bless.**

**Karina.**


	26. Chapter 25: Burning

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight :) Or the song.

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**_I wanna hold you_**

**_And be so held back_**

**_Don't wanna need you_**

**_But it's where I'm at_**

**_Thinkin' 'bout you every day_**

**_How come I was made that way?_**

**_It's so surreal_**

**_- Wonderful, Annie Lennox_**

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A/N: Some of you might wonder why I chose this song for this chapter. It's kind of hard to explain ... but basically it was this particular verse that inspired me. Enjoy!

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Chapter 25: Burning

I was numb, both mentally and physically.

My mind was empty, a black hole, almost. It sucked and pulled any thoughts of hope and love, draining them into oblivion. The senses … they became dull. Dull to the core, dull to the point where seeing and smelling and touching didn't really become a choice anymore. The tingles that I had when I was with Edward, the same tingles that I had grown to depend on like life support … that was gone. It was like my heart stopped beating, like I was a walking void.

_You should have told him sooner._

_You should have never lied to him._

_You should have listened to your friends. Hell, Charlie had it right. If you had listened to them, you wouldn't be in this fucking mess._

Taunt after taunt after taunt. I was truly a masochist.

Would it have gone differently if I was the one who told him, if I told him sooner? It probably wouldn't – he would have done the exact same thing as he did tonight. But if I told him two months ago, then maybe by _now_ I would be somewhat okay. Then he wouldn't have brought me to all of my favorite places for my birthday, to have gone to such great lengths. He wouldn't have cared enough to do that for me … and now, he didn't even care at all.

I scoffed at myself then – I couldn't even _think _of saying his name. Not after he … not after he left after I told him I loved him.

How silly of me! To think that he would ever requite the same enormity of passion. To imagine that someday, he would accept me for whom I was. And worse of all, to believe that I could _ever _be normal. Normality could only last so long, apparently. Or it could just be me, since ordinariness and I would never be in the same category. Just like love … I wasn't capable of being loved _romantically. _

A force crashed into my right shoulder, and I stumbled backwards, before regaining balance.

"Watch where you're going!" A man said, though I didn't look up. My eyes were focused on the ground, my hands in my pockets.

"Sorry," I mumbled, my voice raspy.

I continued my way back home. The air got colder as I progressed my journey, thoughts of Renee laughing as she sat alone on my couch. Then my self-pity turned to anger, and I felt my fists clench in my coat pocket. All of the aggression I had bottling inside of me was finally boiling at the surface. I had kept them from Renee because even though she treated me like crap, she was still my mother, and I should have kept respect. Obviously, she had no such respect for me, so now I had none either.

The minute I stepped through the door, Renee rose up from her spot on the couch and made her way towards me. "Bella, darling, did I do something?"

I looked away, my eyes averting to the ceiling, trying not to cry. "I can't believe you did that."

"So it _was_ me. What did I do wrong?"

"You told Edward about my secret."

She looked at me with furrowed brows. "I don't believe I am following."

I threw my hands in the air exasperatedly. "You told E - Edward that I could see ghosts. Are you happy now? Was your plan to ruin my life? If so, you did a damn good job achieving it."

"I thought he knew, Bella," Her voice suddenly sympathetic, her eyes sad. "I would never, ever, try to ruin your life. Everything I have done was to benefit you."

"That is such bullshit," I laughed darkly. "You pretty much neglected me for eleven years, and then you send me away. I heard you talking to Phil about how you couldn't handle me. Jesus, what the hell did I ever do to you?"

Renee reached out for my hand, grabbing it gently. "Now, Bella, I only said that to Phil as an excuse. The only reason I sent you to live with Charlie was because …"

"I don't care what you have to say anymore, Renee. I've gone on for five years without talking to you, I think I can do it again," I yanked my hand away from her and grabbed her coat, shoving it towards her. "I want you out of my apartment in fifteen minutes. If you're not out by then I consider you trespassing."

"You're kicking me out?"

"You've made the majority of my life hell, and have caused Ed … him to hate me. Granted, I should have told him. But if you hadn't come in the first place, I would have told him when I was ready, when the time was right. Damn … you didn't even consult me to invite yourself here. You're lucky I'm only kicking you out – I want to do so much more."

Without so much as a nod, Renee left to retrieve her things. I just stood there, staring at the ground … numb. Would the emptiness last forever? Maybe it would, but it was far better than feeling the pain that would inevitably reach out and taunt me.

"Bella," Renee's voice sliced through my thoughts. "If you need me … I'll be at the hotel two blocks away …"

"Just go, Renee," I said, not even letting her finish. I would never need her. I raised myself, cooking my own meals and giving myself my own advice. I didn't need her as a mother now. "Can you just – can you just leave?"

"Okay, Bella," I heard the front door creak open. "Happy Birthday, sweetheart. And I'm sorry – for everything."

I didn't reply nor did I look back. I just waited for the door to close shut before I finally fell to the ground. My hand wiped at the tears that I wished weren't falling, and my other hand clutched at my shirt as I slowly lied on the wooden floor. It wasn't cold, or it didn't seem cold. It might have been because I myself was cold – skin and heart. My night was collapsing down on me, suffocating me. And I couldn't find the will to move … to feel.

**{Believe Me}**

I wish I could say that the past week was easier than I thought it would be, but that would be a lie. It was _worse _than I could have ever thought possible. I went to school, went out with Alice and Rose, and even watched some TV. But I wasn't truly there. No matter what Mr. Banner tried to preach to us, or what my two best girlfriends had to say, my mind always wandered back to my birthday. How such a marvelous day could only end in ruins. How, in the state of loving someone, my heart was yearning to for him, only to be shut down. And as much as I wanted to deny it, I knew it was true.

_Edward still had my heart._

At first, I thought that my heart and soul knew better, and that I knew love was out of the equation for me. But then I went to Starbuck's, forgetting that Edward worked there. I felt him the minute I stepped through the door, his scent stronger than that of coffee. I think he sensed it, too, because he looked up from the cash register and into my eyes. We locked, and it was like everything that happened that night was simply a nightmare. But then he called someone to take over register, and left.

It was at that moment that I knew that my heart and soul _didn't _know better, and apparently, neither did my logical sense. Because even though it hurt that he left without so much as a nod, I still wanted to be in his arms.

I then swore to never go back to particular Starbuck's ever again.

"I think we should all go out tonight," Rose suddenly said. "Like to a bar or something."

"I'm in," Alice chirped. "What about you, Bella?"

I tucked a piece of hair behind my hair and squinted as the Sun got in my eyes. "Um, when you say 'all', you mean …"

"Me, Em, Jasper, Alice, you, and Ed –"

"I actually have to work on my paper tonight, Rose," I interrupted.

Alice sighed. "Come on, Bella. What happened between you two? Every time we mention his name you change the subject."

"It's nothing, Al. I just don't feel like getting drunk tonight."

"He knows, huh?" Rose asked, though I was pretty sure it was rhetorical. Either way, she knew. "Did he not take it well?"

My silence answered her question.

"Oh, Bella," Alice said sympathetically. "I'm sorry. If he can't accept who you are, then he doesn't deserve you."

"Yeah! You're beautiful and genuine. In fact, I think I might go kick his ass."

"Count me in, Rose!"

"_Stop!_" I snapped, causing the two to shut up. They watched me with wide eyes. "I love you guys, and you don't know how much it means to me that you think I'm a good enough person to deserve better. But the truth is, Edward _was _better. He was perfect. It was my fault that he had to find out the hard way."

Alice and Rose began to deny my statement, telling me that Edward was the one that was wrong, that he didn't have the rite to break my heart. And as I listened to this, I shook my head. They didn't understand how this was my fault, and not Edward's. So I simply told them I needed some rest, and headed back to my apartment.

I felt hollow, probably even more so than I felt before. There had never been a time where I didn't tell Alice and Rose – my two best friends in the whole entire world – what was going on with me. Granted, I might have told them later, but the point of the matter was that I told them. I wanted to tell them. But now, it was the exact opposite. It was wrong, and as much as people say to never bottle things up, that was all I knew how to do. After all, I was able to keep the pain of Renee's disapproval locked for so long, I was sure that I could also dig a hole deep enough to put Edward's.

The phone was ringing when I stepped through the door. I let it go to the answering machine, not really in the mood to have a conversation. The machine beeped, and I scoffed at the caller.

"_Bella, honey. It's your mother. I don't know if you're actually out of your apartment, or if didn't pick up on purpose. I wouldn't be surprised if you really were there and didn't want to talk to me. Anyways, I'm just about to board my plane, and I didn't want to leave without letting you know first."_

I rolled my eyes. She might not have wanted to leave without saying goodbye, but I sure did. She could go live in the jungle without me knowing for all I cared.

"_Oh, I'm boarding now. Anyways, honey, I just want to tell you my side of the story. Why I was so distant as you were growing up. If you want to know as well, don't hesitate to give me a call, or even write a letter. I know you a lot better than you think, Bella. Just give me a chance. Love you. Bye."_

"Whatever, bitch," I mumbled. "I gave you so many chances, and you ruined it."

As I said that, I wondered what Renee meant when she said that she knew me better than I thought. It could have been bullshit, only being said so that I could talk to her. But there could also be the thought of her _truly _knowing. Then I remembered about all of those unused chances, and how she didn't deserve another one.

"Everyone deserves another chance, Bella," A light voice said. I tore my eyes away from the phone and looked up. Allie stood, looking a lot better than when I last saw her.

"What are you doing here?" I asked monotonously.

She shrugged. Taking a seat on the couch, motioning me to do the same. I followed suit, and she continued. "There are some things that need to be taken care of."

"Like the warning you gave me a week ago? What the hell was that about? You looked like hell."

Allie laughed. "I guess I was a little theatrical, but it did get your attention, right?" I nodded. "What do you think I was warning you about?"

"I'm not quite sure, to be honest. The whole 'be careful' thing was pretty vague," I replied.

"The file, Bella. _My _file. I know your friend gave it to you, and all I was saying was to be careful with it. It has to be in the right hands."

"I don't think I'm following, Allie. Why are you still here? Why are you in _Body Worlds_? And what's with the file?"

"I see," Allie nodded. "Let's start from the beginning, shall we?"

"Please."

"I go everywhere my body goes. I didn't even realize that until last year, when we were in Canada. I figured that the only reason I was still here was because of my corpse, that I somehow needed to fulfill something. It didn't make sense to me either, until we came to New York, and Edward was here."

"What are you saying? I'm still lost."

"I'm saying," Allie paused, "I'm saying that the only way for me to move on is if Edward knows about the pregnancy. It was wrong not to tell him six years ago, and it's most definitely immoral that he _still _doesn't know. I didn't tell him at first because I was scared. And when I realized that maybe Edward would stay with me because of the baby . . . well my world looked up. But then when I went to get the ultrasound, the doctor said I had a miscarriage."

I felt my brows furrow. "But at the exhibit, your body was shown as eight weeks along."

Allie grimaced. "Yes, well, science has a way of changing things to make everything seem glamorous."

I nodded awkwardly. "So … a miscarriage, huh?"

"Unfortunately," She heaved, "I couldn't even tell Edward, then. I was so ashamed that I would stoop so low as to believe he would only be with me for his child. He probably would too, that's just the kind of thing Edward would do. But I was also ashamed that I was perfectly fine if he didn't love me – just as long as I had him. However, I didn't have him. And the miscarriage was just a sign showing me that no matter what I did, Edward and I were never meant to be."

"And then you killed yourself," I replied bluntly. Allie nodded.

"Like I said, I'm quite theatrical," She chuckled darkly. "I put on my prom dress. I blamed that night – it was where all the pain started. My mom had died, my dad wanted nothing to do with me, and Edward … well, he didn't love me. I was sick and alone. There was no other choice for me."

I wanted to argue with her. There were many choices for Allie. She was smart, beautiful, and as much as I hated to say it, she was a good person. She was just lost. Killing herself wasn't right, but she knew it now. I didn't think she was aware of what her death would do to Edward; she just thought that since he didn't love her, he wouldn't care.

"You have to tell him, Bella. About my pregnancy and … the miscarriage."

"But how?"

"This is where my file comes in," She said. "Give that to Edward. He needs to know. And you need to see him – both of you deserve to be happy. If Edward can't love me, then I'm glad it's you."

"Edward doesn't love me, Allie," I seethed. "He left when he found out about my secret."

I could feel Allie watch me. "Everything will work out, Bella. Just wait and see," I suddenly felt warmth on my right side, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see light. Allie felt it too, and when she turned, she gasped. "What _is _that?"

"The light," I replied, smiling a little. "You did your task, and now you can rest."

I wanted to laugh. After all this time, after all the malicious words Allie had used towards Edward, she wanted him to be happy. She couldn't accept it within herself, but when she finally did, the portal opened. The irony of it all, I guess.

Allie had happy tears streaking her cheeks, and she released a smile. "Thank you, Bella. I hope you live a long life – and good luck."

I waved at her one last time. "Good luck to you, too."

And with that, she took her first step to eternal rest.

* * *

**So Allie has moved on . . . I'm actually kind of sad. She was one of my favorite characters haha. But at least she can rest now, right? Anyways, for those of you who missed your dose of Edward, don't fret. He'll be back in the next chapter :) **

**I was breaking down the last few bits of this story, and so far, I have estimated at least five more chapters until this story is over. Just so you know, haha.**

**I started school on Friday, and I'm already depressed. It's just . . . school. Bleh. It's weird though, I feel like I'm still in grade 10. Eh, I guess I'll get used to being in grade 11 LOL. Hopefully everyone has a good school year!**

**I have a new story out, it's call "A Miracle In White". I was very much inspired from that TV show on TLC, "Left At The Altar". Here's the summary, and feel free to check it out if you haven't already!**

Left at the altar, Bella doesn't know how to fully commit herself to a man. Enter Edward, a man of passion & grace. Now Bella is on the fence of her fears and her love for Edward. Her miracle is right in front of her, but will she be able to commit? BxE.

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**FicRecs!**

**1) The Wedding Party by spanglemaker9: **The perfect person appears at the worst possible moment, and one unforgettable encounter changes everything. AH** (WIP! This one is truly amazing, it's one of those stories that keeps you wanting more. And it's also one of those stories that make you go: "Bella, stop being so blind!" Yeah haha)**

**2) The Cullen Campaign by belladonna1472: **Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan both have parents who are powerful on Capitol Hill. Problem is, their families are political enemies. What happens when Democrat!Edward and Republican!Bella bump into each other at Union Station in D.C.? AU/AH. ExB **(WIP! Warning: It's rated M for a reason. I'm not usually one for lemons, in fact I skip it, but the actual story is soooooo addicting. Seriously, tooooo addicting!)**

**3) The Practice of Love by belladonnacullen: **When the disarmingly handsome Edward Masen turns up as a new patient, the life Dr. Isabella Swan has carefully put together will be shattered forever. What will it take to put the pieces back together again? What does it take to heal? AH/AU, canon parings **(WIP! I can't believe I didn't find this sooner, it's so incredible. This is another one of those stories that make you yell: "Come ON! Get together already!" Ah, so good!)**

**

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**That's all, folks! Until next time,**

**Karina**

**Don't forget to Review, I read every single one of them :)  
**


	27. Chapter 26: Fall

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Wish I did, but oh well :)

* * *

**What's on your mind tonight **

**Don't think too much you'll go blind **

**Make it easy find a beast in me **

**Now I'm not your type **

_**- Lamentation, Leah Andreone**_

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Chapter 26: Fall

I skipped dinner, and as unhealthy as that sounds, I really didn't care. Allie had moved on, and I was still stuck in my bedroom. Stuck in the worst situation even possible. And as I lay on my bed, the edges of my curtains glowing of sunlight, it occurred to me that Allie had the best intentions. She might have gone about it wrong, and maybe – most likely – even dramatic, but she meant well nonetheless. I was happy that she was able to rest.

It was Elizabeth I was worried about now.

It seemed like her visits seemed to lessen as time prolonged. She was probably pissed off, I mean, I don't blame her. She comes to me, asking to help heal her son, and there I go doing the _complete _opposite. Why was I the one who had to have this supernatural ability? Why couldn't I just be normal? Maybe if I was just an average person, life would be easier. Love would come without hesitation, and I would be able to control pain.

And there was the whole thing about Alice and Rose – willing to cut off any connections with Edward. I couldn't make them do that, no matter how much they wanted to do it for me. Emmett and Edward were brothers, and Jasper was close to him. It wouldn't be right to have my two girlfriends do such a thing for me. To Edward.

I rolled over, onto my side. Allie's file was blatantly staring at me.

_You have to tell him, Bella. About my pregnancy and … the miscarriage._

Allie was right – Edward had to know. Well, I already knew that, it was the matter of _how _to tell him. I really couldn't make anything worse – he already hated me, what was worse than that? Telling him myself was out, but what else could I do? He wouldn't _want _to talk to me. Maybe I could get Rose to drop it off. She's fearless and …

No. I had to do this myself – it was my mess. Plus, Rose might hurt him, and I didn't want that. No matter how much _he _hurt _me_, I couldn't cause him any more pain. I wanted to let him heal, on his own this time. I was no good for him – just like I always knew I was. And then I looked at the file once again – it was still watching me. Mocking me. That was when I knew how to tell him.

**{Believe Me}**

My feet couldn't move faster – the temperature kept dropping with every minute gone by. As I clutched onto the file, I wished that I had worn gloves. But then again, I really didn't think this through – more of a risk than anything else. Edward might not even answer his door. I knew that. He did, after all, completely ignore me when I showed up at Starbucks. I was just going to go to his apartment, knock on his door, and leave the file on the floor. Hopefully Edward doesn't think it's a bomb or some shit.

About a couple minutes later, I decided that my hands weren't going to last. Damn this weather. I then remembered that the dance studio was only two blocks away, and that I had the keys. It had been more than a year since I'd last been there. I wondered why I hadn't gone there in so long – it was, after all, the place where I liked to be alone with my thoughts. Oh yeah – Edward played his piano there. I _couldn't _be alone with my thoughts, especially when the one person I wanted to keep them from used that place as well.

Screw it – my hands were going to fall off.

The dance studio seemed like one of those distant memories. Stepping into the large room, with the ballet barres on the left wall, the sound system set up just along the corner, and the change rooms just a bit further down. I walked across the room, my feet squeaking against the wooden floors, kind of sounding like muted tap shoes. Along the south side of the room, were posters of different broadways and famous dancers. And just opposite of the poster wall, was the mirror. The mirror was the wall, and avoiding looking at myself was an obstacle.

I made the mistake of peeking, and just then, I almost flipped myself off for looking so bad. Dark circles under my eyes, hair tied messily into a ponytail, and my body hidden under yoga pants and an oversized _Disneyland _hoodie. Not to mention I was pale – like, ghostly pale. I looked horrendous. It was almost embarrassing how my appearance was displayed. _Almost_.

I pushed through the door, walking down the hollow hallway, the sounds of water rushing through the pipes above me. My hands fished my pocket for the keys once more, and I looked at the pile – I couldn't remember what key it was. After about five tries, I finally got the door open. I was met with emptiness. I switched the lights on, and was able to see the cement walls that defined this room to me – hard, solid, and unbreakable. Like every single thought that I ever had in this room would never leave, that I would be safe here.

And then I saw the piano, and it made my heart drop just a little bit.

Instead of sitting on the bench, I sat along the wall, my back getting cold. It didn't feel right to sit on the bench – _his _bench. The last time I sat there was when Edward was showing me that song about Elizabeth. It may have been a sad moment, but to me it was one of those most beautiful memories. It was a time where he exposed himself to me, completely trusting me with his secrets. And yet, I was never able to do the same for him.

_Don't cry now, Bella. Be strong. _

I nodded at myself and looked up, breathing in deeply. The air in this room was cold. But it was okay, since it was so much warmer in here than it was outside. I dropped the file beside me, the sound of a slap as it fell to the floor, and stuffed my hands in my pockets. I stared at the lights; it flickered a bit, but not enough for it to be too noticeable and scary.

A small part of me didn't care abut Edward was doing. That he could have been off to Peru for all I cared. But the bigger side of me, the side that was throbbing, wanted to know if he was well. If he was grieving again, if he was doing it on his own once again. Maybe Elizabeth was with him, cursing at me for doing this to him.

I sighed then, remembering that Allie's file needed to be in someone else's hands. I got up from the ground and tightened my ponytail, silently reminding myself to brush it through when I got home. With the file still on the ground, I bent down to pick it up. The sound of the doorknob wiggling startled me, and I fell on my butt. It hurt, but it wasn't something I hadn't experienced before. I thought that maybe the director of the studio came to see what was up – wondering why her dance studio was open at this time, forgetting that she had given me the keys. But when the door opened, I was frozen. There, Edward stood. And he looked _awful. _Which was saying a lot, since he was prettiest man alive. He stared at me with wide eyes, and I could only imagine that I had the same expression. It took a couple of moments before I cleared my throat, and found my voice.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, noting I sounded a little shaky.

"I came to play the piano," Edward replied monotonously, his eyes looking at everything else _but _me. As much as I told myself that I didn't care, it still hurt. "What are _you_ doing here?"

I flinched at how harsh he had said that. "Um, I came here to think. And to warm up my hands."

"I see."

It was silent – one of those moments where no matter what was said, what ever happened, it was going to be awkward. Or it could have been just me. I began to get up when I saw Edward's hand outstretched in front of me. I kind of just stared at it, remembering how it felt to have his hand around mine. It was only a short daze, because I took his hand while he lifted me up.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

He nodded once. "No problem."

"So, what are you going to play?"

"Um, an original of mine."

"Do you think I can hear it?" I asked before my mind even processed it. I was mortified, though I didn't show it. Of course he didn't want to show me his song … he probably wanted to show me the door –

"Sure – I mean, yeah," He said, nodding. I watched as he sat down on the bench, placing his fingers onto the keys. There was no indication whether he wanted me to sit down with him, or stay where I was. So I stood, leaning my elbows onto the piano, just so that I could see his face over the sheet music.

It had been so long since I last heard Edward play, and the rush of serenity filled within me. The song was so soft, melodic and graceful. I found myself closing my eyes and picturing myself just dancing to this as the rays of the Sun dripped onto my skin. It was warm, and it was perfect. And then the song became sad, and I felt my eyebrows crease. But before I could even try to imagine what the story behind the song was, it stopped so suddenly. I opened my eyes and cocked my head to the side.

"That was beautiful, Edward," I complimented. "Really, it moved me."

Edward looked up at me through his eyelashes, his mouth in a tight line. "I wrote it for you."

_Oh. _No wonder the song became so depressing near the end, and guessing by the abrupt ending, he probably hadn't finished it yet. I wondered if he was going to finish it happy, just like the beginning. Or maybe he would end it on a sad note – I hoped it would be the first option. "Look, I know you hate me and all. But I was on my way to your house to drop something off …"

"Bella, I –"

"No, Edward. Let me finish," He closed his mouth and I placed the folder on the piano. Edward looked at it curiously, back to me with confusion, and then towards the file once again. "Read it once I leave. And just so you know, she said it was a miscarriage."

Edward licked his lips before glancing at me with lost eyes. "_She? _What are you talking about?"

I pushed the manila file a little closer to him. "Just read it, you'll see." With that being said, I walked to the door. I then remembered that Edward would probably be leaving for Chicago soon. Just the memory of our discussion of going together, made my chest ache. He would be going alone, surely he did not want a freak like me to meet visit his parents. I touched the doorknob, but without looking back at him, I said, "Have fun in Chicago."

"Bella?" Edward said, but this time, he was behind me. I could feel the heat radiate from his body to mine, his voice so close to me that it made me shiver. I wanted to punch myself for being so pathetic.

"Y-yeah?" I stuttered.

I heard him take a deep breath, and knowing him, he probably ran a hand through his hair. I refused to look at him – if I did, my emotions would betray me. But I knew well enough to call on his minor mannerisms. "I knew it was you – at the masquerade. I knew I was talking about you, to you. I just wanted to let you know."

Then I left, not saying anything back and _definitely _not turning back. It hurt too much … _It was just too much._

**{Believe Me}**

Charlie once told me "that things happen for a reason. That things only get better from here." And as I said those words over and over, both in my head and out loud, I couldn't for the life of me find any the solution. I knew the reason why Edward wanted nothing to do with me, but what was the future to look forward to? Graduation from college – yes. Better apartment – yes. A job – yes. But what about happiness? Graduation, occupation and a living space were all just an object. What was the subject? Because the subjective truth, love, was not something that I could touch. Something real turned into something imaginary – only in the matter of months.

Alice once told me "that broken hearts were only made so that someday, someone will be able to mend it." As much as I wanted that, I knew that no one would be able to touch my heart like Edward. And that if I ever found someone else, I wouldn't want to do the same thing to them as I did to Edward. They – Edward and the theoretical future man – deserved better than me. Why even bother?

Emmett, Jasper and Rose once said that, "when a boy someone breaks your heart, we will break his face." In a sense, I don't doubt that they would do it. I know they loved me, and considered me as their little sister, and that in any other case I would have let them do it. But not this time. Because, whereas Jasper and Rose would _still _go through with it, I know Emmett wouldn't. And why should he? Edward was his brother. I didn't really need to cause even more tension within our group more than I already have.

And then there was Renee, the good for nothing mother that had always resented me. Just the nerve of her … it made me want to punch the wall.

But that would hurt really, really, bad.

"I have no doubt it would hurt, Bella."

I turned my head, away from the TV, only to see Elizabeth standing at the end of the couch. My mouth twitched into a small smile before uncrossing my legs, straightening my back. "What are you doing here? I thought you would be with Edward."

Elizabeth began to sit down next to me, and I scooted over to give her some room. "I _was_ with him. My throat kind of hurts from yelling at him so much."

"Why were you yelling at him?"

"Because I think he's being a complete idiot!"

I turned my body towards her. "Elizabeth, don't be mad at him … it was my fault. He has every right to ignore me …"

"Oh, honey, he has _no _right to ignore you. Even though he is my son, and I love him very much, I don't think what he's doing right now is the best idea."

"But, Elizabeth, if I had told him sooner, and if _I _was the one to tell him, maybe things would have been better. But it didn't happen, so now it's just a mess."

Elizabeth looked at the wall, slowly nodding her head. "I'm not going to lie, Bella – you _should _have told him sooner. But I do understand why you didn't. And if Edward will get his head out of his ass, he will realize that too. And he will also realize how important you are in his life."

I grimaced. "That's easier said than done."

"Maybe. But I like to believe that fate has something wonderful coming for the two of you," She said.

I sighed then, desperate for a subject change. The topic of fate was becoming depressing. "Back to my first question – why are you here? And don't tell me it's because of Edward's behavior."

"A girl needs a mom, especially during times like this …"

My heart felt slightly warmer. "Elizabeth, you don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that."

"… And as flattered as I am knowing you think of me as your mother, I meant that you should call your _real _mom."

"No," I shook my head. "I will not talk to her."

Elizabeth watched me with sad eyes. "I know what you're doing, Bella. Just because you are struck with stress doesn't mean you have to bottle it up. Contact your mother – she means well."

I gulped. "How are you so sure?"

She shrugged. "Mothers tend to know best."

When she left, I found myself staring at the TV screen. Supernatural was on. Usually I would have been excited about this, but this time I was bored. Not even Dean's humor could shake me from Elizabeth's words. _Mothers tend to know best. _Yes, _good_, mothers usually did. Renee, on the other hand, was better at being a drunk than she was being my mom. She was a better wife, than being my mom. She was just … better at everything else than being a mother to me.

I knew Elizabeth was right about one thing – I was keeping things to myself again. As much as I wanted to tell someone about this, nothing good would come out of it. Why? Because, well, those people I would have told would be my friends. Alice and Rose already knew, and I felt kind of bad already. They hated Edward at the moment, and he didn't deserve it. It was _my _fault. Not his.

It was almost like something was weighing down my chest. It caused my breathing to become shallow, and beads of sweat to form on my forehead. And then I realized that I was hyperventilating. I gripped onto the armchair and put a hand on my chest, trying to calm down.

_Slowly, Bella. Breath in and out … slowly._

With one final breath, I was able to stop the hyperventilation. My hands were now trembling, and my bottom lip quivered. I couldn't do this anymore. Hiding my feelings away once was hard enough, but _twice? _God only knows how that would take a toll in my life. So I leaned over and grabbed the phone, dialing the number I was trying so hard to forget.

It rang three times. "Hello?"

"Hi, Re – um, I mean, Mom?" I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "It's Bella."

* * *

**I am so sorry about this late update, but I've been so busy! I'm surprised I was able to get this out in the first place. But yeah .. this story is almost done. maybe two or three chapters left? Depressing, I know. But I'm trying to get those last chapters out for you guys as soon as I can. And then I'll be posting my new story (the one y'all voted for), Bottled Lies. I'm really excited about that one. And I'll be updating A Miracle In White more too. Our Lyrics is on it's way as well. All in good time, you guys. Check & Follow my twitter (link on profile) for updates and random shit about my uneventful life ;)**

**I would have updated last weekend, but I was at CDR (Coastal Dance Rage). If you don't know, it's a dance workshop & it's the shit! Mia Michaels taught. OMG! She was so good. And then on Monday I was at the J Biebs concert (Best concert ever! It was sold out, and it was _really loud! _I couldn't hear or talk properly the next day). Tuesday - Friday, dance and tons of homework. Lame, I know. But yeah. And then this weekend I was finally able to edit this and such. And now you're in the know!**

**I should be updating A Miracle In White next, and HOPEFULLY Our Lyrics after. Check them out when you have a chance ;)**

**For those of you who watch Gossip Girl, Glee, Vampire Diaries, and Supernatural: WTF is going on with Chuck, in GG? He needs to get back together wit Blair ASAP! Vampire Diaries, I hate how mean Elena is being to Damon. I understand why she's acting like that, but you know .. poor Damon. AND CAROLINE? OMG. Glee - premiere was amazing. just like always. Rachel was a bitch to Sunshine, not really surprised by that. And Supernatural: When Dean didn't have his impala, my jaw dropped. Seriously, what is Dean without his car? The next episode looks good though. Excited ;) And there you have it - another reason why I didn't update, these shows take over my life.  
**

**I have a lot of FicRecs. However, there are so many that I can't name them all, so if you want you can go to my profile and check my favorites :)**

**Music Recs? A few. a) Free - Gavin DeGraw. b) Dreams - Gavin DeGraw. c) Off The Chain - Selena Gomez & The Scene. d) All I want - Susie Suh. e) Relax - Blake McGrath.**

**Alright, I'm going to put in some last minute studying for my math test tomorrow. Y'all know how much I hate math, and how bad I suck at it. Wish me luck!**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**

**Love, Karina. **

**P.S: for those of you who have seen _Devil, _I was just wondering if it is worth watching? And Easy A .. is that good? I need to know! My friends are having a movie night this Friday and we can't decide. Please help :)  
**


	28. Chapter 27: Trial

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight :(

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_**You thought we'd be fine **_

_**all these years gone by **_

_**now your askin me to listen **_

_**well then tell me bout everything **_

_**no lies we're loosin time**_

_**- Battle, Colbie Caillat**_

_**

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**_

Chapter 27: Trial

I didn't know if Renee was crying or laughing, or if she was choking when I called her. Hysterical, was probably the best term. And as we spoke on the phone, I kept on reminding myself that I was only doing this because of Elizabeth. That, becoming a ticking bomb was not the answer of my life. With all of my friends close to both Edward and I, talking to them would be a disaster. And Edward, well, that was self-explanatory. It seemed like I had become alone in the world – something I wasn't used to anymore.

About fifteen minutes into the conversation, Renee interrupted me. "Honey, I'll be at your apartment soon, okay? And then you can tell me everything."

"Um, you're going to fly all the way from Phoenix to New York?" I asked, and somewhat questioning her sanity.

She chuckled. "I haven't actually left yet, Bella."

I almost dropped the phone. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I haven't left New York yet, I only said I did so that you could have your space. I figured you would call me, so I'm still at the same hotel."

"Oh," I said absentmindedly. "Okay, well, would it be better for you if I went to your hotel room? I wouldn't mind."

"Nonsense!" Renee scoffed. "I'll be over in fifteen minutes."

"O-okay," I stuttered, not really knowing what to do.

"See you soon, Sweetie!"

If I had known that Renee was still in New York, I would have thought twice abut calling her. I just wanted to talk, not have a whole confrontation – that was too much. I wasn't ready – I didn't know when I would be ready. But something inside me told me that I better get my shit together before she got here, or else nothing would get done.

Then there was the message she left me – when she _supposedly _left for Phoenix. I wanted to scoff right now, the thought of her actually knowing me better than I thought was ridiculous. If anything, I was probably the one who knew more about her. Growing up, I had learned her mannerisms; from the way she brushed her hair away from her face when she was nervous to how she stuck her tongue out when she was confused, only because I wanted to be close to her. Be like her. I even did those things once, but it didn't work out. Why? Well, because I didn't want to turn into someone who ignored her child.

I paced the room a couple of times, my hand cupping my chin. If only Phil had gone with her – I actually liked him. I wouldn't mind seeing him; he was like a second father to me, always standing up for me when Renee stepped out of line. He even took me out to ice cream and baseball games a few time, hell, he was the one who taught me how to drive. But Phil wasn't here, and without him, I would have to learn how to stay calm around Renee.

But how could I? After exposing my secret in front of Edward like it was no big deal. And then to say she didn't know that he wasn't aware? Somehow, it was hard to believe that at one point in time, she was my role model. And yet, here I was, waiting for her to come over to my apartment. Waiting for her to explain to me why she did what she did while I grew up. Why she suddenly cared about me, wanting what was best for me. And, why she told Edward, the man I loved. The man that I would probably never be able to speak to again.

Three knocks on my door made me stop pacing.

_Okay, _I told myself, _here we go. _

My knees wobbled slightly as I made my way to the door, my hands trembling when I touched the doorknob. How could my hate for Renee suddenly turn to anxiety? A cold hand on my shoulder shocked me, but when I turned around, I saw Elizabeth. So graceful and gentle, she nodded her head to me. She didn't have to say anything – I knew what she meant. I could do it, I could face Renee. Elizabeth would be here with me, which was all I needed.

I opened the door with a slight smile. "Hi, Ren … I mean, hi, Mom."

Renee stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me. I was surprised, and didn't know what to do. So I didn't hug her back. I could tell that it hurt her feelings because, when she held me at arms length, she frowned a little. "Bella, dear, we have so much to talk about."

"Yeah, I guess we do," I replied.

"Twenty-two years of talking, I think," She murmured to herself. "Come on, I'll go make some tea while you relax."

I shook my head. "No, you're the guest. I'll go get the tea …"

Renee touched my arm. "Bella. For once, let me do something for you." She watched me, and after not responding and feeling a little uneasy, I nodded. She then left and walked towards the kitchen. Still not knowing what to do, I shut the door and decided to just sit on the couch. And when I did, my knee bounced and my fingers drummed along the edge of the seat. I could hear cabinets and drawers opening and closing, running water, and glass clinking. Did Renee even know her way around a kitchen? I wouldn't know, I made the meals for her and Phil most of the time.

"I'll wait for the water to come to a boil," Renee said as she sat down. She slid her jacket off her shoulders and set her bag by her feet. For a while, I kind of just stared at her. I really was a mirror image of her, it was kind of freaky. And then she sat down, smiling at me like nothing was wrong. I hated that.

"Why do you do that?" She asked me.

"Do what?"

She waved her hand in front of my face. "Scowl at me like I'm the most horrendous thing on this planet."

I shrugged. "I have my reasons."

"I'm sure you do," She said. "I guess we should get started, right?"

Not feeing like I should say something to piss her off, I decided to just be blunt. "When you said you knew me better than I thought, what did you mean by that? I don't mean any offense," Okay, maybe a little bit. "But you were hardly there while I grew up, and then you send me off to Charlie. I just don't get what sort of _sense _you have to think that you know me. You don't."

Renee's pleasant face turned to guilt, and in a way, I was glad. She _should _ be feeling remorseful. She licked her lips and tucked her hair behind her ear, keeping it away from her face. Renee was nervous. "In order to answer all of that, I have to start from the beginning, from your grandmother …"

"My Grandma? I've never even met the woman before."

"Just listen, please," She asked. I complied, only because I needed to hear this. "My Mom, your grandmother, had certain … abilities. She could look into someone's past, track people, and just like you, she could see ghosts. Growing up, I was scared of her. She experimented with her abilities, she did really scary things," Renee shuddered. "Some of which still give me nightmares.

I was actually going to take you to her house in Tucson so you could finally visit her, but the day before the trip, you saw that ghost. And as much as I wanted to believe that it was schizophrenia, I knew that you had that same ability. I couldn't take you to see your grandmother then, I didn't want you to turn into her."

"How would meeting her, turn me into her?" I interjected.

She tucked another piece of hair behind her ear. "She would know that you could see … Them. She would teach you things and – and I was scared that she would introduce you to something horrifying. I couldn't let her corrupt you like that. And when she did figure out that you could see ghosts, she wanted to meet you. I wouldn't let her."

"So what does that have to do with you not being around?"

"Like I said, your grandma could track people. Through me, she was able to see my past, and there she found the day you saw that Jacob kid. But she hadn't met you before, so she couldn't track you. However, she would eventually find you just by tracking me. So I had to stay as far away as I possibly could, without leaving you."

"But don't you see, Ren … Mom? By not being there, you might as well have left! Do you know how hard it was not to have mom to talk to about everything that went on in my life?" I hadn't realized that I was crying until a single tear raced down my cheek. I vigorously wiped it away.

"Oh, Baby," Renee soothed. "I'm really sorry. I only did it to benefit you. I love you so, so much, and I'm sorry that I wasn't able to be there when you needed help. I'm sorry that I wasn't there to help you pick your prom dress. And I'm sorry that I didn't come to your high school graduation. Charlie sent me the pictures by the way – it's framed on my nightstand."

She wiped my tears away, and I never felt closer to Renee than I had at this moment. We then heard the whistle from the teapot, and she excused herself. While she was gone I wiped under my eyes with my fingertips, trying not to look like a raccoon. Who would have thought that Renee had done all of that, just to keep me safe from my own grandmother. It wouldn't change all the hurt it caused, but it was something.

When she came back, she set the mug on top of the coffee table. I ignored it, and leaned my head on her lap, something I hadn't done since I was a little girl. And when she started combing her fingers through my hair, I truly felt like I was six-years-old again. I blinked through my tears, and there stood Elizabeth. She smiled, and that made me smile in return. Then she disappeared, leaving me alone with Renee, knowing that I would be okay now.

Renee explained to me that she sent me to Charlie because my grandma had found me. It was a rash decision, but it was the best one. Grandma Marie would have knocked on the front door and introduced herself, along with a book of spells. The day I left for Forks, was the day she showed up at Renee's home. And then she told me that she started sending me letters because Grandma Marie had died a year and a half ago – a heart attack. When Renee told me how excited she was to communicate again, hoping that I would too, I was the one to feel guilty for not feeling the same at the time. If she had told me all of this sooner, maybe I would have understood. But she couldn't, because according to Renee, she didn't want me to worry about being tracked.

And as we stayed in that position, my head on her lap and her fingers brushing my hair, I felt relieved that I had at least sewed one patch in my life back together. There was only one more – one enormous factor that was causing the wind to blow through the fabric and into my heart.

"What are you sighing about, Sweetie?" Renee asked.

"Edward."

"Oh," She muttered. "I'm sorry about that, too."

I licked my lips. "It's okay, you really _didn't _know."

She didn't reply, and I could only imagine that she was thinking about what to say next. "He'll come back, Bella."

I shook my head. "No, he won't. I told him I loved him, and he walked away. Why come back to someone you don't love?"

"Darling, he'll be back, trust me."

"I don't know …"

"Trust me."

I sighed. "Okay, I'll try."

**{Believe Me}**

"How about those shoes?" Alice questioned, pointing at the pair of Steve Madden shoes displayed behind the window. "They'll look so sexy with your skin tone."

I chuckled. "As much as I want sexy feet, I don't need it."

Alice and I were walking around the city. It had been a while since I last seen any one of my friends, and a longer time since I laughed. After my conversation with Renee the other day, I had to tell Alice about it. Because if anyone hated Renee more than I did – the hate had simmered since two days ago – it was Alice. She was always like that, sticking up for me. Believing in what I believed. She was just Alice that way, and I loved that about her. So when I told her what went down, and all the details, she had understood. And then she wanted to spend some time with me. I agreed almost instantly – I needed more Alice in my life.

Alice slipped on her sunglasses. "I'm thinking of a walk through Central Park, how does that sound?"

"I'm thinking that that sounds fantastic," I answered.

So we crossed the streets, passing all of the horse carriages and ignoring the people who offered bike rides. We bought some ice cream, and started our walk. Another thing I loved about Alice was how she was able to talk about the most random things, and make them sound so intriguing. Like right now, how she was telling me about her cranky neighbor. I had to laugh – it reminded me of Mrs. Davies.

As we walked through the tunnel, an image appeared at the end. A girl. She was beaten up, and breathing heavily. I could tell by the drop in temperature that she was one of Them. And as much as I wanted to help her – she was so _young _– I couldn't. I needed to focus on Elizabeth first, and probably myself. I tried not to look at her, because I knew she was pleading at me with her eyes, and when I stepped around her, Alice didn't notice. However, I made a note to myself that if I saw her again, I would help her.

"And then the crazy woman hit Jasper with her slipper because he reminded her of one of her ex-boyfriends long ago. You should have seen his face, it was priceless. But I'm pretty sure Jazz is terrified of our neighbor …"

I stopped listening when I stopped walking. And I stopped walking when I saw who was sitting at a bench. His arms were stretched along the top of the bench, his legs crossed. He held his face upwards, his eyes closed as he bathed in the sun. _Jacob._

"Bella, I just got a text from Jazz. The lady hit him again and I need to sort things out. Do you want me to call a taxi so we can ride together?" Alice asked.

I shook my head, still staring at Jake. "You go ahead, Al. I think I'm going to walk a little more."

"Okay. But you'll call me later, right?"

"Of course."

Alice hugged me before departing. And as she left, I walked towards the bench, tapping the cup of my ice cream, wondering what I was going to say to him. I wondered if he still felt bad about that night, and how his music store was doing. So when I was standing right in front of him, I cleared my throat. "Is this seat taken?"

He opened one eye. "Bella?" I nodded, and he sat up straight. "No, go ahead. Sit."

I did just that. "How have you been, Jacob?"

"Good. I've been good. How about you?"

I sighed. "There have been better times."

Jacob folded his hands together and squinted at the sun. "Look, Bella, I really am sorry about that night."

"I told you, Jake. You were drunk, it wasn't your …"

"Fault. I know. But I just wanted to let you know that after you forgave me, I was able to live again. And – and that I met someone."

I smiled. "Who is the lucky girl?"

"Nessie. Her real name is too complicated, so I call her by that. She's so great, Bella. I told her everything, and she's still with me. It's incredible – I think I'm in love," He said, a grin forming on his lips as he talked of his girlfriend. "I actually have to go and meet her. I'll see you around, yeah?" I nodded. "I hope you and that guy are doing well."

And before I could answer, he was walking away, leaving me with my thoughts. I really wanted things between Edward and I to be okay – I wanted to have that joyous love that Jacob was having. But … I couldn't. And it sucked. So I made mistakes in my life, it didn't make me a bad person. And so I had one extra sense that not many other people had, it didn't change who I am. I just wished that Edward could see that. And most of all, I wished that I had him. Because in the moments that I did have him, those were the best moments of my life.

I would do anything to experience that again.

**{Believe Me}**

I got out of the cab with Renee, helping her unload as she made sure she had her passport with her. Today Renee was leaving – actually leaving this time – for Phoenix. It was silly to go from complete abhorrence to a feeling a sort of good connection with Renee, but I didn't want her to leave. Not yet. There were so many things that were left unsaid, so many things to catch up on. I could tell she felt the same way, but we both knew she had to go home. Phil had been alone at the house for more than two weeks, who knew what kind of damage could have happened.

Renee hugged me. "I'm so happy we talked, Bella."

"Me, too," I replied. "Call when you land?"

"I will. And you'll call me more often?"  
I nodded. "I will. Stay safe."

"You, too, Sweetie. Don't do anything that will make me worried," She lectured.

I rolled my eyes and hugged her again. And when she was about to leave, I felt like the goodbye wasn't real. Then I said, "I love you, Mom."

She gave me an air kiss. "I love you too, Baby."

Many thoughts ran through my mind as I stepped into the cab. One, I couldn't believe that I told Renee that I loved her, and meant it. The last time I had said that was so long ago, I couldn't even remember. And another thing, I called Renee "Mom", without even saying her name by mistake. It flowed gracefully, like I had been saying it for years.

My mind went back to that girl I had seen at Central Park. Her face cut, and her body bruised. Her blonde hair was in tangled, standing in every direction. She looked so scared, and I couldn't get her out of my head. She was probably around sixteen, and that saddened me. Such a short life, and she died afraid.

"Stop right here," I told the cabdriver when we came to my apartment building, giving him his cash. "Thanks."

I stopped by my mailbox first, retrieving all the letters before it piled up again. Roberto was mopping the floor when he greeted me. That man was always so happy, even when he had to do the dirty work. I gave him a hug before I caught the elevator, receiving a grin from him. Maybe this whole trying-to-be-happy-thing would work. Maybe I wasn't a lost cause.

However, when I stepped out of the hallway, I gasped. There stood Edward, his skin still pale, bags under his eyes. He looked awful, and it hurt me.

"Edward?" I called. He turned, and then I was able to see those green eyes that I missed so much. I just wished that they were twinkling like they always did, and not as dull. "What are you doing here?"

Edward ran a hand through his head and sighed. "I need answers."

* * *

**Alright, alright ... I know some of you are mad that it's been a while since I last updated. AND I'M SORRY :( I've been working my ass off trying to get this out to you asap, but life was getting in the way. Long story short, there's a lot of drama - dealing with two-face bitches - and it pisses me off because it's like grade eight all over again. I kind of thought people would have grown up since then, considering we're in grade eleven now, and that I knew who my true friends were. And on top of that, I've been working hard to keep my grades up because report cards will be coming soon. So yeah - there's my high school drama. Fucking Fantastic ...**

**Besides that, I'm really glad this chapter is up. Not many more chapters left until the end. I apologize for the cliffhanger, and I will try my hardest to get the next chapter out. Just keep an eye out for the next chapter, aiight?**

**Some books that I suggest (I'm doing this because these books have me addicted!) are:**

**a) Shiver & Linger by Maggie Steifvater - did I spell her name right ...?**

**b) Fallen & Torment by Lauren Kate - MUST READ. SUPER ADDICTING. I'm reading Torment right now, I can't put it down :)**

**That's all for now folks! Follow me on Twitter and Tumblr!**

**REVIEW MY LOVELY READERS.**

**Karina.**


	29. Chapter 28: Confrontation

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight :(

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_**I know we made mistakes**_

_**I see through all the tears**_

_**And that's what got us here**_

_**- Ocean Wide, The Afters**_

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Chapter 28: Confrontation

I felt my fingers trembling as I put the key into the lock – Edward's stare boring into my back. What had been a somewhat good week for me was now slipping through the cracks, the horror and confrontation I had been worrying slapping my face. It was time to face reality, apparently. There was nowhere to run, and even though I had many reasons to, I knew they were the wrong reasons. So as I pushed through the door and held it open for Edward, I couldn't help but suck in my breath as he looked around the place, like he was remembering the last time he had been there. I suddenly wished that my apartment had a better impression on him.

"Nothing's changed," He said, monotonously.

I nodded to myself, my lips pursed. "Well, it's only been a couple of weeks."

The air seemed to become thicker as I watched him graze his hand over the wooden table, his eyes still skimming our surroundings. It made me desperately wonder what he was thinking. He also left me with so many questions, and I hated it. But I loved it – I loved him. I always would, and watching Edward, walking around my home like he memorized every single thing, it was like someone was tugging on my heart.

It wasn't until I was pouring myself a glass of water did I realize that I had left Edward alone, and that _I needed to be alone. _I needed to take deep breaths and try not to freak the fuck out, because it could happen at any moment. The optimistic side of me was going over different scenarios, trying to imagine that maybe Edward's visit wouldn't be so bad. That maybe all he wanted was the truth, and I was okay with that. If I was able to tell him what I could see and what it is like _myself, _that's all that mattered. Just as I long as I knew that he knew the absolute truth, I would be content.

But that would be a complete lie. Because what I really wanted, was to be in his arms again, as he rocked me back and forth and whispered sweet nothings into my ear like he used to. To be able to watch _Supernatural _all night like we used to. I wanted to kiss his lips again, and cherish them like I used to. To be able to love him like I used to … and for him to love me back. That was what I wanted. But it wouldn't happen. It was like a distant dream, too far to come true.

I gulped down the last few droplets of water before wiping my mouth with my sleeve. It was time to face the music. My heart was pounding in my chest, so much that it almost hurt. I could hear my pulse as I left the kitchen and then …

Nothing. Because when I spotted Edward sitting on the couch, his forearms on his thighs as he folded his hands together, it was like I stopped living. It was then that I knew that not only would Edward be the only man I would ever love, but also I couldn't live without him. And it was then that I wondered what I just got myself into.

"Um," I mumbled, trying to find my voice.

Edward turned around, his face looking as pale as how I saw it last. "Please," he pleaded. "All I want is answers."

"Um," I said again.

"I'm so confused. It's tearing me up inside. Please, Bella."

The way he said my name made me wince.

"Okay. I'll answer your questions. But under one condition."

"And what's that?"

"That you don't runaway before I finish what I have to say. Let me explain everything, and you're free to do what you will."

Edward stared at me, no emotion. He stared at me like he was trying to get inside my head, and it bothered me. Edward then nodded his head slowly. "All right. I'll oblige to that."

I cleared my throat and sat down on the couch opposite of him. "Where do you want me to start?"

"Why do you see ghosts?"  
"Um," I shrugged, "I'm not really sure. I'm thinking it might be genes or something. Apparently my grandma could see Them, too."

"Oh."

It went on from then. Edward asked me about Jacob – my first ghost – and then how it was like growing up with what I could see, and if I was scared. He wondered why I helped them if they were already dead, and I explained to him that if that were me, I would want help as well. He asked me about Renee, and the real reason why our relationship had been close to minimal over the years. He even asked how we were now, and was surprised to hear that Renee and I were good.

"You called her 'Mom'?"

I nodded. "Yeah. It actually felt good, you know? To finally be able to have a mother figure in my life."

"My mother, she was amazing. It's been so long, and I'm forgetting but I remember how loving she was. That's why I love Esme so much – she reminds me of my mom."

I didn't know if he wanted to enter the subject that was Elizabeth after that, so when he asked me a question about the other ghosts I could see, I felt relieved. And as I told him of the all the people I had encountered, I could feel somewhat of a weight lifted off of me. After a while, we were both laughing at all the different stories one of Them had presented me. It felt so easy to laugh, and for the first time all day, I saw Edward's eyes twinkle like they used to. And it was almost like nothing had changed. Edward was there, healthy and happy, and we were laughing.

Except the difference was, that he knew.

And then all of sudden, Edward stopped laughing. I watched him, as he furrowed his brows. He was thinking of something – God how much I wish that I could read his mind.

"Why did you lie to me?"

I gulped, looking away. "I already told you," I mumbled. "I thought you wouldn't accept me."

Edward sighed. "I know that. I want to know _why_ you thought that. What did I do that you made you think you can hide things from me?"

"I don't know," I sighed.

"Don't lie to me. _Don't._"

I looked up at him and tried not to cry. "I had experienced rejection before Edward. First with my mother, and then Mike. Of course, Mike didn't know about my ability, but he still cheated on me. It still hurt. And if those people could hurt me by leaving me, I didn't even want to think how much pain it would cause me to see you leave.

"You made me feel so normal, something that I've never really experienced before. It was selfish, but I didn't want to tell you, because I knew things would never be the same. All I've ever wanted was to be a normal person, but now I know that I can't. That I never will be."

Droplets of tears fell into my hands, and it was then that I felt Edward's heat close to me. He watched me before opening his arms. He opened them hesitantly, and it hurt. But then he enveloped me into his body, and let me cry. I wasn't even crying about what I had just admitted to him. I was crying because this is what I had wanted for so long – to be in his arms again. I could hear his heartbeat; feel the electricity flow through me, as his strong arms kept me close to him.

**{Believe Me}**

"So you really saw, Allie?" Edward asked.

"Yeah. She was kind of a bitch. No offense."

He laughed. "Sounds just like her," Edward shrugged. "But she understood what it felt like, having my mother dying. And she was nice, too. But I don't know, I just didn't love her. She wasn't the one."

"She understands that now," I said. "But when she first came to me, she wanted you to have a taste of your own medicine, and that it was in my best interest to not get closer to her."

"I guess I can't say I'm too surprised," Edward replied, with guilt.

I patted his arm. "But what she didn't know was that her mission to move on, was to realize that what she really wanted, was for you to be happy. She loved you enough that even though she was hurting, she wished the best for you."

Edward smiled slightly. "And then she moved on."

"And then she moved on," I confirmed.

At first, neither Edward or I spoke. I thought it was because Edward was coming to peace with the thought of Allie – soaking it all in. And then he said, "What happened between us was an accident. We were both drunk."

"Huh?"

"We only had sex once, and it was because of the alcohol. I guess we were so drunk that neither of us thought of using a condom," He told me, his eyes not meeting mine. "I didn't even think of her becoming pregnant, I thought she was on the pill."

I bit my lip. "Apparently she wasn't."

Edward rubbed his jaw. "If I had known about her pregnancy, I would have stayed with her. But she didn't tell me … I didn't know … so we just lived our separate lives …"

"It's okay, Edward," I said. "I understand, and Allie does too. She's at peace now, and that's what matters, right?"

"I guess. But I can't shake off the feeling that maybe she had a miscarriage because of the stress. The stress that _I _may have caused."

I scooted closer to him, patting his leg. "You have to stop blaming yourself, Edward. You're a good person, and it's not your fault that Allie killed herself. It was her choice," I explained. When he nodded, though it seemed like he was nodding more to himself than me, I took my hand off his leg. "I know that I'm kind of dumping this all on you, but I really want you to know that I was planning on telling you. I was just scared."

"I know. And, Bella, if you don't mind, I'd really like it if we can be friends again. I miss your company."

It felt like my heart had dropped to the ground. Friends. He wanted to be _friends. _Edward didn't want us back together, he wanted our friendship. So even though it felt like he just stabbed me in a million different places, I said, "I'd love to be friends again. I missed you, too."

Edward smiled, and gave me a hug. But as I wrapped my arms around him, I felt a tear trickle down my cheek. Because as much as I wanted to be with him, he didn't. And I'd rather be friends with him than lose him all together. And it was because I loved him that I couldn't be selfish. If he wanted this, I would oblige.

All of this, because I loved him.

**{Believe Me}**

"Can I open a window?" Edward asked, just as we were watching _Supernatural. _"It's hot in here."

"Thanks," I joked. I could practically hear him roll his eyes, which made me giggle. "Yeah, go for it."

It must have been two in the morning, and Edward was still in my apartment. We were able to pass the awkward stage of our rekindling friendship, and onto our old rituals – starting with season five of _Supernatural. _Occasionally, I would glance at Edward from the corner of my eye, admiring how the TV shone a blue light on Edward's skin, showing the clarity and smoothness. And when I looked away, it felt like he would look at me. Though I knew it was just my imagination – we were _friends._

Suddenly, a chill glided over my skin – the hairs on the back of my neck on end. When I sighed, I saw my breath. "Hey, Edward, can you close the window? It's getting cold."

"I haven't even opened it yet," He said.

That was all he needed to say, because now I knew what was happening.

"Fuck," I muttered.

"What?" Edward asked. I crossed my arms and brought my knees to my chest, waiting for whoever was coming. "Bella, what's wrong?"

My teeth started chattering and my eyes scanned frantically from left and right, searching for whoever was about to appear. The TV seemed to flicker, and became dimmer. When was the last time I had experienced something like this?

"Bella!" Edward yelled this time, his voice sounding more anxious.

The TV stopped flickering, and I began feeling the warmth Edward had felt before. And when I saw Elizabeth standing at the corner of the room, I breathed a sigh of relief. "It's okay, Edward," I said. "You can stop staring at me like I'm dying."

Edward ran a hand through his hair. "What's going on?"

"It's time for me to talk to him, Bella," Elizabeth said, her voice smooth, calm.

"I know," I told her. "Just give me a minute, okay?" I turned my attention back to Edward, whose eyes were wondering from me to the corner, where Elizabeth was standing. Of course, all he saw was the wall – he couldn't see his mother. "Elizabeth is here."

"E-Elizabeth is here," He stuttered. "As in my mom?"

I nodded. "She wants to talk to you …"

"I'm not ready."

"Edward, _she's_ ready. She's been ready for eleven years. Elizabeth has been searching for rest since she passed away." Edward, thinking over my words, nodded. And that was all I need to sigh and get myself comfortable. Elizabeth was suddenly right beside me, and I knew it was because she had been waiting for this conversation for so long. "Now, keep in mind that I'll be the communicator. So whatever I tell you will be what she has told me. Everything you say … well, she'll be able to hear it."

"Okay," He replied hesitantly. "L-let's do it."

I glanced at Edward, and though it was kind of weird, he looked so handsome when he was stressed. The way his eyebrows creased and his lips pursed. His jaw was set and his eyes were intense. God, I was pathetic.

"Tell him that my death was not my fault, and that I did it to benefit him," Elizabeth said.

I nodded and repeated her words.

Edward's browsed creased further. "Benefit me? How?"

Elizabeth whispered to me. "She said that no matter what she did, she would not be the best parent for you. She was too hurt from losing the love of her life, and she knew that you were depressed from losing your father. She wanted you to start a new life."

"But I should have done something. I was the man of the house, I could have been stronger."

"She said that you were young, and that she didn't blame you for not knowing better. She's just sorry for giving up." Edward, now with tear filled eyes, sighed. Elizabeth then whispered to me again. "She also wants to know if you're happy."

Edward looked like he was deep in thought, truly thinking over the question. After a couple of moments, Edward smiled, and nodded gently. "I am, actually."

His sureness made me grin, and I turned to Elizabeth. A bright white light shone beside her. "Elizabeth, did you hear that? You can now rest."

Elizabeth looked at the white light, completely entranced in its grace, but looked away. She shook her head and said, "I have to talk to him."

"Okay," I murmured. "That's no problem, just tell me what you want me to say and …"

"No, Bella," She shook her head. "I need to talk to him myself. Alone."

"I'm not following."

"Don't worry, sweetie. But I am so glad I met you, you're a gem. Now, close your eyes."  
I cocked my head. "Elizabeth, I'm lost. What's happening?"

She brought her finger to her lips, telling me to be quiet. And then I saw her coming closer to me, feeling her enter me. She felt cold, but warm at the same time. Then she was in me, using my body as a vessel. And I began to lose consciousness, suddenly realizing what she meant. Elizabeth needed to talk to Edward, using my body. I didn't even know it was possible, but before I could even hear what she needed to talk to Edward about, I was asleep, her words through my voice becoming so distant.

That was the last time I saw her yellow dress.

**{Believe Me}**

It felt weird waking up the next day – it felt like I was waking up from Elizabeth's possession.

Was I mad at her? No. Was I surprised? _Yes. _Never in a million years would I have thought that a ghost could possess me. If it had been any other ghost, I would have been furious and scared. Scared that they would want to use me as some sort of way to live life again. But I knew Elizabeth – she would never do that. She was too kind for that. And though I realize that she and Edward really needed to sort their shit out, it still stunned me. It was so unexpected, so surreal. And that was the first and last time it was ever going to happen.

Then I remembered something – Elizabeth had moved on. She was gone, and I didn't even get to say goodbye. It was weird thinking that she was gone. She had been around for so long, and I considered her as a second mother. I had to remind myself that she was in a better place now, and her state of mind would be better knowing that Edward was happy.

_Edward was happy. _

The thought made me smile. After everything that he had been through within the past couple of weeks, he was still happy. However, the way he left last night made me think otherwise. After Elizabeth's presence had left my body, I woke. Their whole entire conversation was a blank to me, and I was curious. Thought when I asked what she had said, all Edward said was, "It's nothing." And then he left.

It's nothing? What a bunch of crap! I knew Edward by now – he was hiding something. So as I got ready this morning – dressed in a dress with a cardigan – and made myself some breakfast, all I could think was what he wasn't telling me. I mean, we were friends, right? Friends told each other things, for support and all that? Maybe he didn't trust me anymore, maybe he did. I didn't know. Edward always found a way to make so confused with myself.

A soft knock on my door took me out of my reverie. I sighed and opened it. There stood Alice, looking as glamorous as she always did. She was wearing skinny jeans and a shirt that said "wild child." She had on a leather jacket and black pumps, and she was carrying a box with a ribbon on it.

"Hey, Al. What's that?"

She motioned the box towards me. "Your belated birthday present."

"You gave me a present already, Alice."

"Yes, but that was from Jazz and I. This was in from _me._"

I took the box and opened it hesitantly. Alice was practically bouncing as I removed the lid. When I saw the gift, I laughed. "Oh my God, Alice. The shoes we saw yesterday?"

She nodded. "I know those will look so amazing. Do you love it?"

"Of course I do. Now I'm going to have sexy feet."

Alice laughed and hugged me. But then she left, having to go to her job interview at Betsey Johnson. I thanked her again and then I closed the door behind me, admiring the blue pumps Alice had gotten me. And after walking around in them, making sure I could actually walk in the height, I set them aside. Trying to find a place for them in my closet was hard, since I knew Alice would want me to wear them to the next event that would be coming up whenever, so I had to place it somewhere that would remind me.

Finally, when I found a place and disposed of the wrapping paper and ribbon, I sighed in satisfaction. I then realized that I was coming terms to the thought of Edward and I being nothing but friends, because it meant that I still had him in my life. Edward was my life, nothing would change that.

I left my bedroom and walked down the hallway, trying to tell myself that things would get better, when I saw Edward sitting on my couch. His sudden appearance made me jump, even making me shriek a little. He looked at me with wide eyes, almost like my being scared, scared him as well. I put my hand to my chest and leaned on the wall.

"Edward," I said. "How the hell did you get in here?"

He shrugged. "Alice gave me the spare key."

"I have to tell that girl not to give my spare key like it's alcohol," I muttered, hearing Edward laugh. "What's up?"

"Um, something my mom said really got me thinking," He told me. His eyes focused on me, and me only. "She told me how much she loved me and how proud she was of me, and she also told me how much of an idiot I was."

"She said that?"

"Yeah. She said that what I did to you was ridiculous. And then she asked me something."

"And what's that?"

He took a step closer to me. "She asked me what my life would be without you, and I thought about it. I realized then that I wouldn't be able to live if you weren't with me the way we used to be. Because you see, Bella, being without you is kind of like being deprived of breathing. It isn't right. And when I walked away from you that night, after you told me that you loved me, it really hurt. And do you know why?"

I shook my head. "No."

"It hurt, because I love you too. I love you so much, that it's hard to stay away. I am an idiot, and all I can ask for, is for you to take me back. I don't want to be friends, I'm too selfish."

It was like the room became brighter, my senses had come back. Because what Edward had told me, it was what I couldn't believe would happen. Yet, here he was, slowly getting closer to me, spilling his emotions.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Say it again."

"Say what?"

"Don't play stupid, you know what. Say it again."

Edward smiled and ran a hand through his hair nervously. "I love you, Bella. I always will."

"Good," I said, grinning so much that it hurt. "Because I love you, too."

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**I'm sorry it's been so long since I last updated, but school has been a bitch. But report cards are coming on Wednesday, and then I have no school on Thursday and Friday - I plan to get some major writing done. Though, I can't make any promises ... I don't really know what's going down on those days yet. But, yeah, I'll be writing for this story :)**

**All the drama is done, so that only means one thing: next update will be the epilogue. It's tragic, I know, but the end would have to come sometime, right? Don't worry, I think you will be pleased. At least, I hope you'll be pleased! **

**There's really nothing else to say, since it's 11:30 at night and I have school tomorrow. Fml. But I do have a book reccomendation:**

**1) _True Believer - Nicholas Sparks._**

**Yeah, I know. Him, _again?_ Well, yes. I really love his stories and I finally got around to buying this one. I read it in about a week, and it was amazing. It's different than the usual supernatural romances I read, but it's nice escape, you know? It's like reading someone's real love story - it's beautiful!**

**And that is all! Remember, next chapter is the epilogue, so look out for that!**

**Review review review :)**

**Karina. **


	30. Epilogue: Promise

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

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**Take my hand, lets find a marching band **

**That beats the rhythm of our hearts **

**We're the fire the flames **

**They can't put out **

**A faith like oxygen **

**So breathe it in **

**Be with me now, **

**It's us against the world **

**It's us against the world **

**Try stopping us now. **

**_- Marching Band, Joe Brooks_**

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Epilogue: Promise

_Seven Months Later_

"Be careful!" I yelled to Edward, wincing when he pretended to almost drop it. "It contains things that are sentimental."

"Bella," Edward laughed, "Have a little faith in me, yeah?"

I sighed and took the box from his hands. The weight was ridiculous, but I was able to place it on the floor carefully. "I just don't want it to get disorganized – it's important."

Edward shook his arms. "Yeah, that box was heavy. What's in there, anyway?"

"Nothing you need to worry about," I said, trying to sound nonchalant as I pulled off the life of another box. "It's just papers."

"Bella," Edward whispered in my ear, his hands on my hips with his chest pressed against my back. "Tell me."

"They're research of … you know, my former _clients,_" I said. Edward, not really catching on, kept quiet. I sighed – I still wasn't comfortable talking about my ability with him, but I knew that not telling him wouldn't end well. "The ghosts I've seen, okay! Are you happy now, Edward?"

I felt him nod his head. "Well, yeah. The girl I love is moving in with me, and there's no secrets between us," He replied with ease, resting his head on my shoulder. "Are you happy?"

I thought about, and as I reflected our relationship, I grinned. After everything we had been through, we were still together – still in love. "I turned so that I was facing him. I pressed my lips to his, and sighed into the kiss. Breaking our touch, I said, "Yeah, I am."

"Good," Edward said, giving me another peck. "Can I look through them?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Why not?" I shrugged, but I knew why. It was nerve racking, wondering what Edward would think about all of the ghosts I had seen before, not being able to read his mind. "C'mon, Bella. No secrets, remember?"

Of course he had to go there. He knew those words, besides Edward himself, were my weakness. And he used it against me. "Fine, no secrets. You can take a look, but try not to make a mess of my files. I'll start unpacking while you do that, okay?"

Once Edward nodded, I turned on my heel and made my way to his bedroom – or … _our _bedroom.

The day Edward asked me to move in with him had been one of the most emotional days I had ever experienced. My stress level was at high, with school kicking my ass. I had started working as assistant to a highly acclaimed lawyer about four months ago, and she, as well, added to my stress with all of her shit. However, the pay was amazing and when she was in a good mood, was someone okay to be around. That day, Emily had put a whole load of files on my desk, expecting me to sort them by the end of the day. Well, the end of the day was an hour away so I didn't get out of the office until around nine o'clock at night. Plus I had the paper due. At that time, I was at verge of tears …

Until Edward met me at the subway, and took me to an amazing sushi place, completely ridding me of my problems. It was then that he asked me to move in with him, and I accepted (though I was never going to say no to him). So here we were now, moving day. Most of my things had been brought to his place, and I sorted my clothes through the space he had given me in the closet – though I didn't need much space, but for some reason, Edward thought I owned a store full of clothes – I wondered what was going through his head as he read through my files. Like, at any minute, he could just walk into the room and tell me to leave, because he was so disgusted with me. But I knew better now – Edward loved me, and I him. No one could take that away from us; I just needed a little more faith in myself.

Just as I was putting my toiletries into the washroom, I heard footsteps. Setting my contact solution onto the counter, I turned my head, where Edward stood with a file in his hand.

"This one interested me," Was all he said.

"How so?"

He flipped open the file as he walked closer to me, and once he was right beside me, he leaned over to give me a better view. He was interested in Jane's file? He picked at the picture, the one that was pinned with a paper clip, with her smiling. I remembered imagining how Jane would have looked like in real life. Would she have looked as adorable – blond hair that glowed, tanned skin, and bright blue eyes – as she did in the picture? When I knew her, her afterlife, her hair was dull and her skin was pale. The bright blue eyes were soulless. But I always wondered what it would have been like if she hadn't taken drugs.

"I've seen her before," Edward said, "In a newspaper or something."

"I don't think so, she overdosed when you and I were probably toddlers. If she was still alive, she would have been over thirty."

Edward stared at the picture for a long time, his finger drumming on the counter as he leaned on the wall of the bathroom. I continued to put away my things as he continued to live in his world, until he gasped.

"What is it?" I asked.

"You won't believe this – but Jane … she was Esme's younger sister."

I felt my eyes go wide. "No way!"

"Way," He nodded. "Esme told me and Emmett about her a long time ago, I just can't believe you helped her."

"Small world," I shrugged. "Jane was one of my best friends in high school. I know she was dead, but she still helped me through a lot – even when I broke up with Mike."

Edward laughed, no doubt remembering the first time he met Mike. Charlie had wanted to meet Edward a few weeks back, so we made a trip to Forks right away. Even though Charlie liking Edward (though I kind of expected that) was amazing, the meeting of Edward and Mike was the highlight of the trip. Mike's face when he saw me with Edward, the awkward silence as Edward glared at Mike. Basically, Mike's ego was officially wounded once we left his store.

"Speaking of Esme," I said, trying to stifle my laughter from the memory as well. "Did you tell her and Carlisle when we'll be in Chicago?"

"Sure did," Edward said. "They're counting the days as we speak."

Both of us had forgotten about the tickets Esme and Carlisle had gotten Edward for his birthday, and decided to use them before they expired. Even though I had already met them, I was still nervous about the trip. I would be meeting them in _their_ home; it was a little nerve racking. What if I did something wrong?

"I know what you're thinking, and I'm telling you right now, to not worry. Esme and Carlisle love you!" Edward kissed my forehead and began to leave the bathroom. "I'm going to finish reading, do you need any help with your things?"

I shook my head. "You know how I get about my things. Just go ahead, I'm almost done anyways."

**{Believe Me}**

Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper were all glad when Edward and I had informed them that we were back together. Though I wasn't sure if it was because they were happy for us, or if it was because the tension would be rid of. However, when we told them that we were moving in together seven months later, I knew it was because they were happy for us. They were the best friends anyone could really ask for, and I had no idea how I would even survive without them here.

They brought pizza as a housewarming gift, even though Edward had been living here for more than a year. The pizza was then swallowed by the boys, which left Rosalie, Alice and I to sit and lose our appetites. Seriously, how could they eat so much and _not _vomit?

"You're closet looks fantastic!" Alice beamed. "It's color coordinated _and _is put in by occasion. I have taught you well."

I rolled my eyes.

"I especially love how Edward's clothes look beside yours," Rose added. "It looks … perfect."

"You guys are so weird – why do I associate myself with you two?"

"Because you love our hugs!" Alice said, her arms embracing me. I then felt Rose wrap her arms around us. I felt like I sandwich … but loved, nonetheless.

"Hey, when you girls are done having a threesome, Jasper and I will be waiting by the door," Emmett said, making all three of us let go and glare at him. "What? Anyways, we wouldn't want to impose on Edward and Bell's first night together as a moved in couple."

Jasper popped his head in. "Yeah, we wouldn't want to get in the way of your christening of this place."

I made a face. "Okay, that's it. You're dead!"

Just as I began to chase them, I felt strong arms wrap around me. It was Edward, and he was keeping me away form hurting Emmett and Jasper. And he held me long enough for the four of them to make their escape.

"Why'd you do that? I was going to pummel them!"

"I know, love. But that would take forever, and we only have tonight to … how did Jasper say it? _Christen _the place?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's a good thing I love you!"

"And I, you."

He kissed me then, pushing me against the wall as he placed his hand on my waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. His hand rubbed soothing circles on my leg, his mouth now on my neck. I sighed, and closed my eyes, relishing the moment. Just as he groaned, his lips back on mine, I opened my eyes.

And right behind him was a young girl. Her hair was pitch black, and her skin was as white as snow. She had bruises around her hazel eyes, and cuts all over her body. Her bottom lip trembled as she whispered a husky, "_Help._"

"Edward," I said as he kissed along my jaw. "Edward, stop. We're not alone."

"What are you talking about?" He mumbled along my skin.

I groaned. "There's a girl here, and she's standing behind you."

Edward had taken his mouth away from my skin, and I hated it. I wanted to be with him the way we were only a minute ago. He turned around slowly, and when he didn't see anyone, he knew what I was talking about. "What does she look like?"

I told him, and as I told him, her cuts and bruises seemed to disappear, making it so that she wasn't as terrifying as before. And as the injuries went away, I saw that she was young, probably only sixteen years old. I also realized that I had seen her before. It was the girl I saw under the tunnel in Central Park, the same day Alice and I went to the city.

"Help me, please," She cried, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I don't know what to do … I'm so scared, and cold."

"What's your name, sweetie?" I asked.

She bit her lip and wiped her tears. "Sandy."

I then looked at Edward. I felt sympathy for this girl, and she needed help. I couldn't aid her when she showed up months ago because of Elizabeth, but I could now, and I would. "I need to help her, Edward. She's so young."

Edward looked at her, though through his eyes there was nothing there. But I could tell that he was trying to imagine what I was seeing. "I'm here for you," He took my hand in his, and kissed my cheek. "No matter what."

I gave his hand a gentle squeeze and smiled at him. "I know."

I held his hand firmly – confident. And as I looked into his rich, green eyes – the same green eyes that I had fallen in love with – I knew.

We were in this together, no matter what.

**The End**

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**Yes this is the end, and I'm sorry there won't be sequel. I feel as though this is the right place for this story to have its ending. Thank you so much to those who thought that this story was good enough for a sequel. I hope this ending will satisfy you readers, it certainly did for me.**

**I want to thank each and every one of those people who reviewed - you guys kept my hopes up. Even the one's who flamed me - your (hurtful) criticism helped me improve. But from now on, left's try to keep the criticism on a lighter note, okay? haha. And for those who told me to hurry up on the updates, I just want to say that it worked! Oh, and for the reviews that were the most kindest and sweetest I have ever read, I love you and you inspire me. In fact all of my readers inspired me, I couldn't have gotten this far without any of you.**

**I also want to thank the people who messaged me with and idea for the story. Though some didn't work for this plot, some certainly did (But I thank you the same!). One in particular (Vampiiexplainsnoreasoning), was the one who gave me the idea of putting Nessie in Jacob's life. So for you Jacob fan's, you can thank her for his happy ending. Thank you, SoAdorkable and Cici G for the mall recommendations in Arizona - you saved me :)**

**Basically, all of your messages and reviews always made my day!**

**Thank you so much to my twin, Kassidy (simplyunwordable) who, though she did not help me with each chapter, was there for me whenever I suffered from writer's block. Thanks for you support!**

**And finally, I want to thank each and every one of you (even if you didn't message or review me/this story) for taking the time to read Believe Me. It has been a journey, this one. I've been writing this for more than a year. It's almost surreal to say that this is the end. But thank you for being on this journey with me, reading as I (hopefully!) improved in my writing. Love you all so much :)**

**Oh, and before I forget! Alright, so remember that poll I had a while back, the one that asked which story you would like to read next? Well, I don't really know if I told you this ... but the story that will be posted very soon is ... DRUMROLL PLEASE! *drumroll ...* _Bottled Lies. _Yes, I'm very excited to show you what I have in store for you. It's angsty, and romantic. You honestly won't see what will happen. I guarantee that if you like Believe Me, you're going to like _Bottled Lies. _**

**Here's the summary:**

**_Labeled as the freak at Forks High, Bella keeps her distance from her peers. Especially Edward, a boy who hates her for no reason. The moment Edward walks into Bella committing suicide, everything is tested. Hatred. Love. Truth ... and Bottled Lies. [BxE]_**

**This should be posted either by the end of this week, or next week :) Stay tuned!**

**For the last time on this story, REVIEW!**

**Thanks to everyone!**

**Karina.**


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